The Instigator
laleona89
Con (against)
Winning
2 Points
The Contender
Blair
Pro (for)
Losing
1 Points

being a single mother affect the kid(s)

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Post Voting Period
The voting period for this debate has ended.
after 2 votes the winner is...
laleona89
Voting Style: Open Point System: 7 Point
Started: 12/7/2010 Category: Society
Updated: 6 years ago Status: Post Voting Period
Viewed: 4,069 times Debate No: 13943
Debate Rounds (4)
Comments (3)
Votes (2)

 

laleona89

Con

I believe that being a single mother does not affect your kid in a bad way. I've heard people say that if a kid only has a mother the missing presence of the father will affect the kid in the way they act in a negative way, but I believe it may affect the kid, but not in a negative way. The kid may act differently by not having a father, for example:
a boy may not get to have someone like a father to have some man to man or man to boy time you know, like boys night. Sometimes the kid may feel responsible for the mother because he is the only man in the house, but the mother can explain this to the kid. If it's a girl I don't see no problem at all, may be she doesn't have the authority of father to tell her what's correct and what is not, but still the mother can do that.
I am basing this debate if the mother is able too give a stable atmosphere and home for the kids to live. Lets say they live in a small house in a safe neighborhood, the mother has a good job that gives her enough money to maintain her kids and she also has enough free time to dedicate to her kid (s)
Blair

Pro

Thank you for adding this interesting topic and allowing me to join you. I will use this round to briefly state and elaborate on my contentions and to rebut my opponent's argument, and the next rounds to continue to add to my argument. As you all probably know, I am representing the affirmative side, that having a single mother affects children.

My first contention is that parenting involves two people.
As it obviously takes two people to make a baby, there needs to be the involvement of two parents. If there are two parents, the work and money that goes into providing for a child can be divided. Many people cannot support a family by themselves, and having two parents lightens this load. If a child's parents cannot provide it's necessities, then a child is negatively affected in numerous ways, if it lacks food, clothing, toys, a place to leave, etc. Not only is money divided but the time that goes into watching and caring for a child as well. If the mother is tired, she can sleep while the father cares for the child. In a one parent relationship, this is impossible, and if the mother has other things to do, they child may be neglected and abandoned. Children are often fighting with at least one parent. When they have another parent, they still have someone to lean on in these times. Children with one parent do not.

My second contention is no woman can fully take the place of a father.
Both boys and girls need fathers. Boys look up to their fathers and learn many things from them rather than from their mothers, like about girls, sexuality, sports, and about becoming a man. Girls look for support and comfort from their father, as well as protection. Fathers walk their daughters down the aisle, a tradition one cannot miss. Girls also learn about what men are like from their fathers. Men provide a completely different dynamic then woman, not better or worse but different. Children who cannot say they have a father will feel left out, unloved, and excluded from peers at school. Boys and girls who do not have a male role model around will be more likely to adopt completely feminine characterstics and attitudes, and not understand men as well as if they had had a father around.

Excuse my lack of creativity to come up with a third contention.

As for my opponent's statements:
The resolution states that children will be affected by having a single parent. Not negatively, just affected. If my opponent would like us to change the meaning, I will consent. However, being affected by having a single parent can be negative or positive, which is how we must assume the resolution means, as of now.

As my opponent correctly states, boys will not get "man to man" time, or a boys' night. Boys may feel responsible for the mother being the only man, that is also true. However, just because the mother says the boy need not feel responsible for their mother, that doesn't mean that they won't. Just as when people tell us not to be sad, or not do this, and we still are, or we still do, simple words will generally not affect our feelings.

As I stated earlier, girls will be just as negatively affected as the boys, as they will not know as accurately what men are like, and how men should treat their spouses or the mother of their children. They will be lacking a major prescence in their life.

Just because a mother can give a stable atmosphere to her kids, and even if she is the best mother on the face of the planet, her children will still be affected from not having a father. Money, also, does not replace the love of a father. And, no amount of free time can fill the place of a nurturing father.

Please note I am not suggesting single mothers are not perfectly capable and excellent at raising their children, I am trying to say that inevitably, without a father in the equation, children will be affected.
Thank you and good luck to my opponent.
Debate Round No. 1
laleona89

Con

In my opinion you are wrong. I know that parenting involves two people, but that doesn't mean that one person cannot do it on his or her own, in this case her own. Single parenting can also have positive effects which I think are bigger than the negative ones if you see it from a single mother's kids point of view. One of those positive effects are that the mother and the children have strong bonds that maybe by not being a single parent, would not been as strong.

Another positive effect is that members of the single parent's family could help out and play an important role in the child's life that could replace that father's role. For example, the mother's brother may play the role that the father didn't. Also their communities members may also help out. There are also church groups that help out single mothers.

Another positive effect of single parenting is that they shared responsibilities. This children doesn't have the normal responsibilities of a kid with two parents, this kids have responsibilities, maybe like helping out on making dinner. This makes the kids recognize the value he represents to this small family and may help him in feeling proud of himself.

I believe this examples of positive effects on this children make a better impact on the kids life than the negative do bad.
Blair

Pro

Blair forfeited this round.
Debate Round No. 2
laleona89

Con

laleona89 forfeited this round.
Blair

Pro

Blair forfeited this round.
Debate Round No. 3
laleona89

Con

I hope there is a good reason why my opponents forfeited this past two rounds I just forfeited las round to make it een but well whatever. You can base your voting on the first arguments.
Blair

Pro

Blair forfeited this round.
Debate Round No. 4
3 comments have been posted on this debate. Showing 1 through 3 records.
Posted by laleona89 6 years ago
laleona89
Now that I think about this you're right
Posted by laleona89 6 years ago
laleona89
Ok sorry I'm new at this.
Posted by Charr 6 years ago
Charr
"Single parenting can also have positive effects"~laleona89

The Resolution was whether being a single parent would have any impact on the child or not. As con, you should be trying to prove there are NO impacts, not whether the impacts are positive or negative.

I'm pretty sure you just lost the debate right there, seeing as you made a massive contradiction. Which is probably why your opponent forfeited. Because there was no point in arguing further, in essence.

Also, the resolution itself is faulty. Even if a single mother took the place of both guardians, the addition of a father would cause a change in the environment no matter what the mother can provide.
2 votes have been placed for this debate. Showing 1 through 2 records.
Vote Placed by boredinclass 6 years ago
boredinclass
laleona89BlairTied
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Total points awarded:11 
Vote Placed by m93samman 6 years ago
m93samman
laleona89BlairTied
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Total points awarded:10