The Instigator
aizhana
Pro (for)
Tied
0 Points
The Contender
gordon
Con (against)
Tied
0 Points

cohabitation

Do you like this debate?NoYes-2
Add this debate to Google Add this debate to Delicious Add this debate to FaceBook Add this debate to Digg  
Post Voting Period
The voting period for this debate has ended.
after 0 votes the winner is...
It's a Tie!
Voting Style: Open Point System: 7 Point
Started: 5/27/2013 Category: Society
Updated: 3 years ago Status: Post Voting Period
Viewed: 1,049 times Debate No: 34221
Debate Rounds (4)
Comments (1)
Votes (0)

 

aizhana

Pro

Couples who live together learn about each other and start to form an identity working as a team. They can learn how to balance their relationship, careers and even finances together. Through time, the other person's priorities and values will become clear, and couples can see if these really align before putting marriage on the table.
gordon

Con

I am against the cohabitation before marriage. Firstly, I can give dozens of examples when young couples break up their relationships after several months even years of living together. Secondly, I think that especially a girl should live only with her husband.
Debate Round No. 1
aizhana

Pro

You say you can give dozens of examples of young couples breaking up after living together. Well that's a huge shocker that some couples broke up after living together. Cohabitation before marriage is one of the stepping stones to knowing if you should get married. If you don't live together but have been together for awhile and then get married and then move in together then you learn about each others bad habits it will put an instant strain on the marriage. Also a girl is free to live with whoever she wants to live with same with anybody, it's called free will.
gordon

Con

If they could not get accustomed to their habits, if they broke their relationships, they should try with every partner until they find thier real partners? Also, may be one of the partners is happy just living together, without marriage. How the second partner should solve this problem? Also it takes experiment after getting marriage. And the last point, the couple might have religious problems, for instance, if one of them is not going to have sex before marriage. Some religions are very strict about it.
Debate Round No. 2
aizhana

Pro

If they wish to move in with every partner they have people are more than welcome to do that. Also just because you marry someone doesn't always mean they are your real partner. Everyone is different. But to live together before you get married is a key step in any relationship and will see if you can actually stand living with each other. I have heard many stories of people breaking up after they have moved in together because they couldn't stand living with each other and realized they didn't actually work out together, imagine if they had gotten married first. The second partner doesn't have to solve this problem if in the end they are both happy, you don't have to get married to prove you love someone nor do you have to get married just to live with the other person. Couples have the right to move in together before marriage and in the end it will always be the better choice than not living together then jumping straight into marriage.
gordon

Con

Have you ever thought about psychological sides of this? When you get married first, you take responsibility. But when it is just cohabitation, a person understands that if they cannot live together, they just can break up. Moreover, a lot of couples get married without cohabitation and getting used to each other and live with happy life. Cohabitation is just pretext to live together without any responsibility.
Debate Round No. 3
aizhana

Pro

Cohabitation does not mean you are entering it think oh well if it doesn't work out we'll break up, moving into together is a choice you have made with your partner because you both think you are ready to take the next step in the relationship. Neither party ever thinks ok if this doesn't work out we'll just break up. A lot will stay together even if there are problems because they choose to want to work on it rather than feeling forced to have to work on it because they got married to soon. Moving in together actually requires a lot of responsibility. Also a lot more couples get married after cohabitation together rather than before. Also you are saying that the couples get used to each other living together when they are married which is the exact same thing as moving in together before they get married they feel each other out start getting use to each other around all the time and finding out each others bad habits and then moving past them because they have made that choice because they want it to work rather than feeling forced they have to make it work for the sake of a marriage.
gordon

Con

many people I know chose to live together first out of a desire to avoid divorce. However, the message that you and your boyfriend or girlfriend send to one another when you set up house before a wedding is that marriage isn't that important as to be worth waiting for. When you cohabitate, you're implicitly saying that your future marriage isn't valuable enough to be worth tough sacrifices -- and that sets a dangerous precedent for when you do take the next step in your relationship. Combine that with point #1 about drifting toward engagement by default, and it puts a crack in the foundation of your relationship that could take years to fix, if it doesn't spread and get worse over time.
Debate Round No. 4
1 comment has been posted on this debate.
Posted by gordonjames 3 years ago
gordonjames
I would be interested - what are your age / rank criteria?

I am assuming a few things.

1. You are in favor.
2. Yo will argue is strengthens the relationship.
3. You will argue that it makes for happier relationships
4. You will argue that it makes for a better marriage if couples eventually marry.
5. Marriage defined as a legal union of one man and one woman.

If you open the debate to me I would be willing to argue the following.
1. I am not in favor of cohabitation as a "trial marriage"
2. It leads to weaker and less stable relationships than marriage .
3. Cohabitation is not as satisfying as marriage
4. Couples who cohabit before marriage are more likely to divorce.
5. Cohabitation is a bad environment for raising children
6. Cohabitation has a higher cost to our society than marriage.
7. Cohabitation has more problems than marriage and less benefits to society.
No votes have been placed for this debate.