if you put chicken salt on chicken the world will implode.
Debate Rounds (3)
Kosher-Parve have clearly overlooked the implications derived from anthropic principle and quantum physics by developing and marketing a product with such severe implications for the continuation of the universe.
With so very much of the earth biosphere already tasting like chicken, we must explore the ramifications (and inherent dangers) of making a chicken taste that makes non-chicken taste like chicken when applied to actual chicken.
Clearly anthropic principle has already made itself known as self-evident by such a tasty and succulent bird being duplicated time and again throughout evolution. The desires of sapient life to observe (and roast, fry, bar-b-que, broil, flamb" or otherwise prepare) this otherwise seemingly unimportant member of our ecology has already lead to a profound affect on evolution. Should a seasoning actually achieve, let alone surpass, the appeal of this savory avian then the universe would be forced to adjust at the quantum level.
Suddenly all of the sapient observers in the universe (or at least within our observational frame: the solar system) would desire that all things previously tasting like chicken begin to taste like Jada Chicken Salt (tm). This would lead to biological and physiological changes to the evolution of many species and, quite possibly, the collapse of entire ecological systems as the rules of chemistry and biology become stressed the limits of newtonian law.
I do, however, think that these dangers pale in comparison to the real danger: that of an even more chicken chicken. What happens when people realize that real chicken can suddenly taste even more finger-lickin'-good!?
Suddenly sapient minds, following the dissemination of data along the established principle of 6DS (six degrees of separation) would begin twisting the universe into reinforcing perception of more A than A. Once the anthropic universe begins along that pathway, things will proceed quickly. As sapient life beings noticing that chickens have become more chicken, they will extend the principle to things like happy being more happy and fun being more fun. On and on it will go, unfortunately for a very brief (one should say almost imperceptible) span of time. To our knowledge the universe has no self-correction mechanism for this phenomenon and as everything becomes more of itself, so will the physics of the observable universe.
The causative wave will only leave earth at the speed of light, but as the increase goes out, gravity will also increase and within only moments of the anthropic chicken singularity becoming realized the earth will go through something similar in appearance, to any outside observers, as a super-nova. Strong, weak, electromagnetic and gravitational bonds would all increase at once, creating a shockwave followed quickly by quantum collapse.
The only thing left would be a bose-einstein chickensalt condensate capable of nothing save glacially slow self-perpetuating question of "why did the chicken-salt salt the chicken-salt chicken?"
This is humorous debate, not serious. I'm not researching the product to debate things like 'contains salt, chicken extracts,' which I already knew because I had to look up what the this stuff was in the first place. I had to do that in order to make up some silly crap for the fun of seeing how many logical fallacies I could mix with pseudo-science in one argument and still have it coming off sounding rational.
See, to me that's fun. I figured it would be humorous. But you come back actually sounding more like you're promoting the product than making the debate a silly argument about a silly theory.
I concede. You win. i'm convinced. I'm not going to implode the universe because I'm not ever going to try this vegan salt. I tend to cook chicken like a pro, and I'm not going to wreck anything like Chicken Marsala with some vegan seasoning. Find someone else to market to.
I didn't know this was a contest about who is funnier, but if it is then I think I'm funnier.
1 votes has been placed for this debate.
Vote Placed by Kirigaya-Kazuto 6 months ago
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Reasons for voting decision: Here Pro took an otherwise impossible topic and argued for it most well. Because the instigator, Con, made a debate and gave his opponent an otherwise impossible challenge Pro automatically get's conduct points. However Pro proceeded to "concede" the debate. On to the main arguments! Pro clearly and swiftly shows his knowledge and skill in debating very early on in Round 1. Before I break down the arguments I would first like to add another point. One of the main secondary reasons I gave Pro arguments was his structure. He broke down his arguments into well organized and simple paragraphs that made reading much simpler compared to Con's wall of text. Now looking at Pro's arguments he clearly demonstrates thorough knowledge of quantum physics and spiritual deities the earth would implode. Con however goes into the ingredients rather than rebutting Pro's arguments.
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