The Instigator
Philomena3
Con (against)
Tied
0 Points
The Contender
Ashley_95
Pro (for)
Tied
0 Points

is it possible to romantically love more than one person at once

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Voting Style: Open Point System: 7 Point
Started: 2/14/2015 Category: Philosophy
Updated: 1 year ago Status: Post Voting Period
Viewed: 351 times Debate No: 70059
Debate Rounds (4)
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Votes (0)

 

Philomena3

Con

1: Before my opponent jump at me, am going to start by defining the term Love and lust

2: strong affection for another arising out of kinship or personal ties (Love)
(2) : attraction based on sexual desire

3: A strong desire for something (Lust)

4: its impossible to love more than one person romantically because when it comes to the term love, people mistake it for a lot of things and LUST is the most popular one. Yes its possible to lust after someone you think matches your criteria but then again how long would that last

5: Claiming to love more than person is an act of selfishness because when something goes wrong on one end, they run to the other for comfort, loving one person romantically is hard because you have to put up with their flaws and you would want them to do the same as well
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6: Personally i cant love more than one person romantically, there's a limit when it comes to love, however, equally there's no way you can love more than person romantically, i agree with my opponent on that.
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Non controversial: 1, 2 and 3 cannot be debated on because its just my opinion about the topic and the rest is just definition from Merriam Webster Dictionary

Controversial: 4 , 5 and 6 can be argued on because its based on on my personal opinion
Ashley_95

Pro

2) I agree on both definitions

3) A strong desire of something is LUST? I would say lust is only to be considered sexual not just saying its a strong desire of something, you can desire someone to be in you life and it not be sexual.

4) I mean can't you love two people ? Why not ? Yes you can just lust someone but if you love two people meaning that you see your self in the future with both but to a certain extent then that is not LUST where as if you have sex with one and that all you guys do while you have deeper feelings for the other then that is different.

5) We all want of needs to be for filed so maybe loving two people is an act of selfishness but we are all selfish creatures weather we want to admit it not. We want our needs to be met at all cost with out really considering the feelings of others.

6) I've loved two people at once. Probably it wasn't the best thing to do but you can't help who you fall in love with. If that was possible I doubt we would fall for these jack asses in the world today.
Debate Round No. 1
Philomena3

Con

At least my opponent agrees with me on my definitions but i Disagree with the fact that you can be involved with more than one person and why is that:

1:The mind has own way of working and so is the heart, the last thing a person would want to is to be attracted to more than one person knowing fully well how the body system works when it comes to making decisions.

EX: Majority of the people who are single today, would tell you they walked away from their relationship because they wasn't satisfied and when you dig down into their story, then you will find out there was a third person in the picture, now that person might who they they had an affair with and when it became too confusing to the extent that they felt like someone was going to get hurt, walking away from everything seems like the only choice to them.

2: the amount of confusion and deceit increases, the worst thing someone would want to do is lie to them selves about the truth.

3: Love is not an easy game, its not a win win situation, its either you play someone or you get played. people might see this has been brave and taking risk but we all know there's always consequences mostly when we dare our selves into trying something we know its wrong
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4: Am so sure when my opponent was in that position, she wasn't to comfortable as she would be if she were to be involved with just one person, having to make a decision for just your self is not that difficult. I used an example and i strongly believe she can use one as well because am still not okay with the fact that its possible
Ashley_95

Pro

1) The brain and heart is more complex an we might actually think, they are as complex and complicated as or emotions. Just because a person does not want to be attracted two too people doesn't mean that they wont be attracted to that person.

2) What about those who lose interest in their partner because they just lost touch. Does that mean their as a third person involved?

3) How isn't love a win win situation? Your telling me two people cant be in love and not be cheated on, yes there will be fights but that's natural.

4) You tend to forget that when I was in this situation I wasn't dating neither one of these guys so I wasn't really uncomfortable.
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Non-Controversial- Basically all because they are my options.
Debate Round No. 2
Philomena3

Con

knowing fully well that the body is system is complicated, why go into something as delicate as love or even Romans. the heart loves but the mind controls both love and Romans

1: Few experts expressed their opinion about loving one person romantically, according to an anthropologist, Helen Fisher, she stated that people have three mating drives: lust, romantic love and long term attachment.

2: My opponent said lust is sexual desires, to me its a natural feeling just like been hungry or sleepy and you can learn to adjust to them.

3: When it comes to love, it's ultimately about the choice and ability to build something with someone.

4: Personally i went through the same thing of trying to love more than one person, as time goes by I realize that my long term relationship was falling apart because my attention was been divided and I didn't love the other person, i was just using him to get over my pains which is selfish. Leading people on a part as confusing as love, can make one loose everything, i lost everything and had to start all over again that's why i stick to my point that loving more than one person is absolutely impossible.

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Non-Controversial: number 4 because its based on personal experience
Ashley_95

Pro

Why do you keep saying Romans ? Either you need to reread or is that a co word that means something ? And people make mistakes you can't say that because the body is complicated we shouldn't jump in to a situation. Just like we know the body is complex but we make stupid decisions that we know will impact us either way.

1) Helen Fishers thought our long term attachment, lust and romantic love was based on loving someone and cheating. I didn't see anything about loving two people at the same time .

2) Honestly your definition of Lust doesn't really matter. Based on the fact that we both have different definitions of lust. Lust is defined as sexual desires that's something a lot of people can agree with because it is in the dictionary. A feeling of being hungry or sleepy is based off your feelings not the dictionary. So those feelings come to you naturally not the definition of lust.

3) Do you can't have two people that you have thought about building life with ? What about in Islam they have multiple wives and yet they have built a life with those women. Isn't that considered the same thing?

- Personally of you can agree that you have faced a time where you have loved or so called thought you loved two people at once then guess what it isn't impossible.
Debate Round No. 3
Philomena3

Con

In as much as my oppnet tries to make the situation much comfortable or appealing, its still not right to go into an affair with more than one person knowing fully well the consequences. Some experts expressed their opinion about loving one person romantically.
1: Helen Fisher, she stated that people have three mating drives: lust, romantic love and long term attachment. You can love one person and lust for another, also she said you can't feel romantic love for two people at the same time.

2: Now the term Romantic according to the Merriam Webster dictionary, it defines romantic as involving love between two people or making someone think of love suitable for romance. My opponent also mentioned that we can't help who we fall in love with, therefore it is acceptable to love more than one person, I totally get where she's coming from so i would love to know if she can be involve with more than one person romantically

3:As of today we see all over the television, the damages Of loving more than one person has cost, like i said most relationships got ruined because of the choices they made. Personally i went through the same thing of trying to love more than one person, as time goes by I realize that my long term relationship was falling apart because my attention was been divided and I didn't love the other person, i was just using him to get over my pains which is selfish.

4: televisions are not real stories because its only for entertainment

5: about the Islamic religion, the men only have more than one wife because they could handle it and besides after their first wife, the rest of them are just for popularity and family reasons like having more kids

6: Do you think a woman can have more than one husband? can she handle it emotionally, psychologically and mentally? i would leave you to answer that

7:Leading people on a part as confusing as love, can make one loose everything, i lost everything and had to start all over again that's why i stick to my point that loving more than one person is absolutely impossible.

Non controversial: 1, 4 and 3 because they are based on facts and personal interview so you can't challenge a religion you don't practice or know about
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8: There's no way an individual can have romantic love for more than one person, it doesn't seem healthy for the person, psychologically it would affect you in a long run, because if the person is used to being with more than one person then in the future they wouldn't be able to cope, i am saying this not just justify my points but to also say that when someone claims to develop feelings for another person, they have to make sure they know what it is, theres a thin line between Lust, likeness and Love.
Ashley_95

Pro

I am not trying to make this a comfortable situation nor am I trying to cover up the truth I am stating facts with this situation and this a fact that you seem to be lacking. My opponent is so stuck on the word affair when that has nothing to do with what I just said.

2) WE DONT CHOOSE WHO WE FALL FOR. Our hearts are the ones who choose who we love so, yes it might be hard to be in that situation but it happens. I have loved more than one person before but that was a long time ago.

3) How can you sit there and ask me if I was involved with someone and yet you have been ? Then you aren't any different from those who have been in love with two people.

4) what about those stories that are fictional.

6) Women can but there's no religion that allows women to do that . Plus women are too emotional for them to have many husbands.

- To conclude we can't stay you can't love two people at the same time because it happens we love our families, not only that hut we don't choose who we love.
Debate Round No. 4
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