The Instigator
philosphical
Pro (for)
Winning
45 Points
The Contender
I-am-a-panda
Con (against)
Losing
39 Points

it is better to find love,than to complete your life long dream

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Voting Style: Open Point System: 7 Point
Started: 2/18/2009 Category: Entertainment
Updated: 7 years ago Status: Voting Period
Viewed: 3,784 times Debate No: 6979
Debate Rounds (3)
Comments (31)
Votes (14)

 

philosphical

Pro

I believe that falling in love is more important than dreams. It is far more important to contain some one else's heart rather then look forward to something difficult, and with low probability of achieving their goal
I would first like to say that most of the times, when a person follows their dreams; they don't always stay consistent with them. They may be content with them for the time being, but usually their interests change and deteriate.
When a person falls in love with some one, if it is true love, then they will stay with that person for all of eternity. They will always be there for that person, through any trial. They will always be there to hold them, to comfort them, and to listen to their every problem or difficulty.
Their dreams also aren't always achievable. But it is possible for anybody to fall in love. There is some one out there for every one. Some one out there just like them, that would love them with all their heart and soul. Dreams aren't always accomplishable, like it or not. And a lot of time people lose interest with those dreams.
Falling in love is far more important than achieving a small, unnecessary goal. People need to look forward in life, and a soul mate better helps you achieve this than a goal.
I-am-a-panda

Con

I would like to thank the philosopher for this interesting debate. I wish my opponent good luck throughout the debate.

I am presuming this is more of a philosophical debate than a hard facts debate, so I shall take it as so.

As the resolution suggests, my opponent is affirming that it is better to fall in love than to accomplish ones dreams. I will start with rebuttal.

==Rebuttal==

" I would first like to say that most of the times, when a person follows their dreams; they don't always stay consistent with them. They may be content with them for the time being, but usually their interests change and deteriate. "

This is also true with love. Someone may change their mind about the person they may love. They may think they love someone, and then commit adultery. Someone's interest in someone they love can change and deteriorate. However, someone can have a life long goal, such as travel the world, and keep it until they die or complete it. Once it is completed, they will look back on it with triumph and be happy with life.

' When a person falls in love with some one, if it is true love, then they will stay with that person for all of eternity. They will always be there for that person, through any trial. They will always be there to hold them, to comfort them, and to listen to their every problem or difficulty."

Firstly, I would like you to define true love, as it is essential to this debate.

" Their dreams also aren't always achievable. But it is possible for anybody to fall in love. There is some one out there for every one. "

Actually, I would believe quite the opposite. Someone's life long goal/dream could be very realistic, such as travel the world, whereas someone can travel through life without finding love. I would believe finding your one 'soul mate' amongst millions of people would be harder than travelling the world.

" Some one out there just like them, that would love them with all their heart and soul. Dreams aren't always accomplishable, like it or not. And a lot of time people lose interest with those dreams. '

Again, most things applicable with dreams/goals are applicable to love. Someone may lose complete interest in finding love. Finding true love is as hard, if not harder than accomplishing a goal or dream. Mainly for the reason is that very few couples are true love. Many are people who like each other, cannot find anyone else, or are experimental.

" Falling in love is far more important than achieving a small, unnecessary goal. People need to look forward in life, and a soul mate better helps you achieve this than a goal. "

What if falling in love is someone's goal? Is falling in love then not a small, unnecessary goal? Falling in love is a milestone in one's life. Completing a goal or dream may be as important. Completing many would be far better tan falling in love. According to your logic of 'there is a soul mate for everyone', you can fall in love once, but can accomplish as may dreams as you would like. This may have more value to someone than falling in love.
Also, why should falling in love signal the end of one's dreams or goals? Surely accomplishing them with your soul mate would make them better.

To finish off, I would ask my opponent to define true love. I would also question the concept of soul mate, as this implies a omnipotent supreme being.

Fin.
Debate Round No. 1
philosphical

Pro

thankyou i-am-a-panda for that argument. i will try to respond as quickly as possible. And yes this will be more of a philosophical debate rather than a hard facst one.

ok first your rebuttal than on to the rest

you said "Someone's interest in someone they love can change and deteriorate"
I would not use this as a definition of love. again not hard facts debate, so here is a definition of what i believe true love is. True love is having someone you completely and fully dedicate your heart too. meaning that you can't stand to be without this person, and you are sure that this person is the exact one for you with the fullness of your heart. some one who you think you fall in love with and then divorce or break up with a few years later, would not be an accurate assumption of love. Because if it were real love, you would not leave this person for any reason whatsoever because they mean so much to you. I would define the first as just lust.
I think that definition covers you second argument rather well also.

next you say "I would believe finding your one 'soul mate' amongst millions of people would be harder than travelling the world."

Actually having a great number of people just widens your range of possible soul mates for you to find. any one of these millions of people could be the one for you. a soul mate isn't just one person set for you and placed randomly somewhere on this earth. whoever your soulmate is, would be completly up to you and the other individual to decide.
as opposing to trying to find your life-long dream, you could want to president of the united states, but say you weren't a natural born citizen. therefore you are deprived of the oppurtunity of ever accomplishing this. Or say you want to be a famous author, but you simply lack the money and the physical ability to get that money to become the famous author. there are many obstacles that can stand in the way of accomplishing your life long dream. Of course their are obstacles in finding love, but these mental barriers are much easier to sustain and accomplish at the same time.

and here you say "Finding true love is as hard, if not harder than accomplishing a goal or dream. Mainly for the reason is that very few couples are true love. Many are people who like each other, cannot find anyone else, or are experimental."

in that second sentence you pretty much say it all for me.
About the rest of that paragraph, though, i'd still have to differ. Love is not something you have to be neccisariily searching for. Most the time it finds you, and in the most unlikliest of times and places.
The time you fall in love will most likely be the time you least expect it to happen.

in the next paragraph you say "What if falling in love is someone's goal? Is falling in love then not a small, unnecessary goal? Falling in love is a milestone in one's life."

If you would like to use falling in love as an example of a goal, it will still hold the same principles. like i said, love will pretty much find you. But if someone spends there whole life looking for it, the chances of them actually finding would be slim.

next you say "Completing a goal or dream may be as important. Completing many would be far better tan falling in love. According to your logic of 'there is a soul mate for everyone', you can fall in love once, but can accomplish as may dreams as you would like. This may have more value to someone than falling in love.
Also, why should falling in love signal the end of one's dreams or goals? Surely accomplishing them with your soul mate would make them better."

In this debate i am trying to clarify which is better to fall in love, or to complete your life long dream. but i don't believe that i ever said anywhere that one cannot still chase their dreams and fall in love. I am simply trying to compare, and see which is better or more essential. and of course this works for the con as well. some one may fall in love while trying to follow their life-long dream. but the question asked here is which one is more important. and if the situation did arise where you were forced to choose one or the other, which one would it be, and why? that is what i believe this debate will establish in the end.

Thankyou for that detailed response mr.panda. you asked for a definition 'true love' and 'soul mate'. within in the response i have provided both. both are philosphical term meanings rather than hard facts meanings. however for the sake of evidence i will provide the hard facts definitions too, because in essence i believe they have the same meaning, if not a little less detailed

Love: a strong positive emotion of regard and affliction
(of course this debate is aimed to human relationship)

Soul Mate: some one for whom you have a deep affinity
(again not detailed
I-am-a-panda

Con

I would like to thank my opponent for responding quickly.

Now that I fully understand what we must debate, I shall begin.

My opponent poses the question that 'if the situation did arise where you were forced to choose one or the other, which one would it be, and why?'. My opponent presumes that if you are in love with someone, you are their soul mate. However, as the definition states, being someone's soul mate does not mean you are ion love with them. Being a soul mate means a high level of love. Also, love is not restricted to just a person. You can love a sport, hobby, etc.

Being the debate has no limits, let's consider the many types of love. There is love between man and a woman. However, what about love between a 40 year old man and a child. Should the 40 year old man pursue this love, even though he will be arrested and put in jail for it? In that case, it is better for him to pursue his dream, whatever it may be. Or a man willing to risk his life to meet a celebrity. There are many cases where love is great, but many where love isn't. Love is never guaranteed because there is no official indicator of what is and isn't love.

Moreover, love can blind people, like in the examples I mentioned. In those cases, the people are best of going for their dream. They will hurt no-one but themselves that way. And any pain is severely reduced.

==Rebuttal==

"some one who you think you fall in love with and then divorce or break up with a few years later, would not be an accurate assumption of love. Because if it were real love, you would not leave this person for any reason whatsoever because they mean so much to you. I would define the first as just lust."

As I have mentioned, there is no indicator of love, true love and lust. There is no visible line between them. You can easily go between them with an experience. Enjoying a moment of awe and wonder would make your love for someone increase, obviously. Love can change. They often change with people's feeling, which can change alot. However, one persons desire to climb a mountain is less likely to burn out.

"Actually having a great number of people just widens your range of possible soul mates for you to find. any one of these millions of people could be the one for you. a soul mate isn't just one person set for you and placed randomly somewhere on this earth. whoever your soul mate is, would be completely up to you and the other individual to decide."

So, you are suggesting your soul mate is created after being with them, not destined to be. The word soul in soul mate would tend to suggest otherwise. It implies someone destined through soul to be with someone. Not someone who becomes your soul mate after you have met them.

"as opposing to trying to find your life-long dream, you could want to president of the united states, but say you weren't a natural born citizen. therefore you are deprived of the opportunity of ever accomplishing this. Or say you want to be a famous author, but you simply lack the money and the physical ability to get that money to become the famous author. there are many obstacles that can stand in the way of accomplishing your life long dream. Of course their are obstacles in finding love, but these mental barriers are much easier to sustain and accomplish at the same time."

There are more obstacles than mental ones involved in love. Whilst money can be a barrier in someone's life long dream, law can be a barrier in someone's love, as well as other people who are in love with someone, as you have said yourself, there multiple soul mates for someone, and they are bound to overlap. Also, people may need to spend money to attract someone's attempting to them, or to prove their love (such as an expensive wedding). Falling in love normally requires two people. Co-operation between two people can be extremely difficult, as people who love each other are less likely to open their feeling of each other. Whereas there are barriers in someone's goals, there is one person involved, it is their responsibility, but they are determined.

"Love is not something you have to be neccisariily searching for. Most the time it finds you, and in the most unlikliest of times and places.
The time you fall in love will most likely be the time you least expect it to happen."

I agree that love is not something you must search for. However, this means it is often random chance, or luck. Chances vary between people. How often they go out, how they look, etc. Whereas people often choose realistic goals. Goals can be altered or changed, but love cannot be. If someone wants to climb a mountain, they buy the equipment and find a mountain. If someone wants to travel across the world, they buy a plane ticket. If someone wants to find love, they must constantly go out and depend on luck. This is proven by you when you say:
"But if someone spends there whole life looking for it, the chances of them actually finding would be slim."

Here is when I run out of things to refute. My opponent is arguing which is better to do, however we must look at what is involved in both of them. So far, we have found this:

* A goal depends on what you can do, and when you want to do. Love depends on random chance, or luck.
* You have multiple soul mates out there, but if you find true love you have it once. You can accomplish many goals.
* A goal can be altered. Love cannot.

I await my opponents response.
Debate Round No. 2
philosphical

Pro

ok i am low on time so i appolagize if this response is a little speedy.

ok my opponents first paragraph:
"My opponent poses the question that 'if the situation did arise where you were forced to choose one or the other, which one would it be, and why?'. My opponent presumes that if you are in love with someone, you are their soul mate. However, as the definition states, being someone's soul mate does not mean you are ion love with them. Being a soul mate means a high level of love. Also, love is not restricted to just a person. You can love a sport, hobby, etc"

First i would like to as you what your analysis of the definition of soul mate is? Because teh purpose i have summed from it was that this person is the neccesary "one" for the particular individual as in the use of "affininity" meaning this is more than just a "high level of love". Because if it is your soul mate that means there is no one else except for this person, because you cant have more than one soul mate. back to both definitions of the actual word 'love' though. you can't paossibly say you love somebody and leave them a week later, so is it fair to say that every individual who thinks they are in love, are actually in love? to say that would be to abuse the word for what it truly is in this case 'lust'.
And this love is aimed towards human beings. sports, hobbies, etc. would fall under the goals category. (just for clarification)

ok next you say- "Being the debate has no limits, let's consider the many types of love. There is love between man and a woman. However, what about love between a 40 year old man and a child. Should the 40 year old man pursue this love, even though he will be arrested and put in jail for it? In that case, it is better for him to pursue his dream, whatever it may be. Or a man willing to risk his life to meet a celebrity. There are many cases where love is great, but many where love isn't. Love is never guaranteed because there is no official indicator of what is and isn't love."

Ok first i would like to say this debate is limited to man and woman as was the obvious intent of the resolution. The man and his child is a different kind of love. But you couldn't call them soul mates or true lovers, as what this debate has been aimed for.

Next you say "Love is never guaranteed because there is no official indicator of what is and isn't love."

Again i will show what i have said previously that shows the indicator of true love.
Me- "Love is not something you have to be neccisariily searching for. Most the time it finds you, and in the most unlikliest of times and places.
The time you fall in love will most likely be the time you least expect it to happen."
Me- "a soul mate isn't just one person set for you and placed randomly somewhere on this earth. whoever your soulmate is, would be completly up to you and the other individual to decide."
and last -" True love is having someone you completely and fully dedicate your heart too. meaning that you can't stand to be without this person, and you are sure that this person is the exact one for you with the fullness of your heart. some one who you think you fall in love with and then divorce or break up with a few years later, would not be an accurate assumption of love. Because if it were real love, you would not leave this person for any reason whatsoever because they mean so much to you."

these are all indicators of finding true love.

ok next you say"As I have mentioned, there is no indicator of love, true love and lust. There is no visible line between them. You can easily go between them with an experience. Enjoying a moment of awe and wonder would make your love for someone increase, obviously. Love can change. They often change with people's feeling, which can change alot. However, one persons desire to climb a mountain is less likely to burn out."

have i not given enough examples of what a true indicator of love and lust? i believe that last paragraph should sum it up for you. but again like i said, if it's true love, it won't change, as goals and dreams can.

next you say "So, you are suggesting your soul mate is created after being with them, not destined to be. The word soul in soul mate would tend to suggest otherwise. It implies someone destined through soul to be with someone. Not someone who becomes your soul mate after you have met them."

generaly your soul mate wil meet you sometime and somewhere in your lifetime, or else their would be no point in calling some one out as a soulmate. It is guaranteed that they will meet once in their life time, not nessicarily someone they have met in their early years.

Next "There are more obstacles than mental ones involved in love. Whilst money can be a barrier in someone's life long dream, law can be a barrier in someone's love, as well as other people who are in love with someone, as you have said yourself, there multiple soul mates for someone, and they are bound to overlap. Also, people may need to spend money to attract someone's attempting to them, or to prove their love (such as an expensive wedding). Falling in love normally requires two people. Co-operation between two people can be extremely difficult, as people who love each other are less likely to open their feeling of each other. Whereas there are barriers in someone's goals, there is one person involved, it is their responsibility, but they are determined."

i would like you to adress please where i said that there can be multiple soul mates for each person, for i do not recall ever saying that. And if money and pride will stand in the way of love, can you call this true love?

next "I agree that love is not something you must search for. However, this means it is often random chance, or luck. Chances vary between people. How often they go out, how they look, etc. Whereas people often choose realistic goals. Goals can be altered or changed, but love cannot be. If someone wants to climb a mountain, they buy the equipment and find a mountain. If someone wants to travel across the world, they buy a plane ticket. If someone wants to find love, they must constantly go out and depend on luck. This is proven by you when you say:
"But if someone spends there whole life looking for it, the chances of them actually finding would be slim."

no i did not compare love with luck in this situation, i simply said that love comes to you when you least expect it and probably when your not looking for it. as opposed the physical barriers that stand in the way of climbing a said mountain whereas you may not be able to afford the material. you can't buy love. Love is always achievable, and it will happen for every one, but some things stand in the way of finding your goal.
My opponent beleives we come to stance on these prinicipals.
" * goal depends on what you can do, and when you want to do. Love depends on random chance, or luck.
* You have multiple soul mates out there, but if you find true love you have it once. You can accomplish many goals.
* A goal can be altered. Love cannot."

here is what i have concluded from this debate

*love does not depend on random chance or luck, just patience and uneagerness. with goals there are many obstacles in the way
*There is only one true soul mate for every individual, where as goals deteriate and change.
*Love can stay true and confident where as a goal may be a lifetime of wasted hard work, and complications.

Thankyou my opponent i have enjoyed this debate very much. I hope you, the audience and judges have also enjoyed it as well, and vote for what you believe is the better debater.

I look forward to your final response
I-am-a-panda

Con

I would like to thank my opponent for a good debate and completing all the rounds.

==Rebuttal==

"First i would like to as you what your analysis of the definition of soul mate is? Because teh purpose i have summed from it was that this person is the neccesary "one" for the particular individual as in the use of "affininity" meaning this is more than just a "high level of love". Because if it is your soul mate that means there is no one else except for this person, because you cant have more than one soul mate. back to both definitions of the actual word 'love' though. you can't paossibly say you love somebody and leave them a week later, so is it fair to say that every individual who thinks they are in love, are actually in love? to say that would be to abuse the word for what it truly is in this case 'lust'.
And this love is aimed towards human beings. sports, hobbies, etc. would fall under the goals category. (just for clarification)"

For one, In do not believe in the concept of a soul mate. You can love someone, but a soul mate does not exist. A soul mate would suggest that we are pre-destined to be with people, as you have said yourself, we only have one.
Although you cannot love someone them leave them a week later, you can think it is love. You may give up on love after that, not realising it is lust.
The debate was not limited to specific types of love, so love of sports or hobbies can be included.

"Ok first i would like to say this debate is limited to man and woman as was the obvious intent of the resolution. The man and his child is a different kind of love. But you couldn't call them soul mates or true lovers, as what this debate has been aimed for.!

The resolution has no clear indication it is love between man and a woman, or between two humans. Love between man and a child is not different. The man loves the child, the child loves the man. It is love, nothing can change that. You have not give a reason why a man should pursue this love. Pursuing this love would be disobeying the law, as well as endangering the child. The man and child in question should pursue their life long dream instead.

"generaly your soul mate wil meet you sometime and somewhere in your lifetime, or else their would be no point in calling some one out as a soulmate. It is guaranteed that they will meet once in their life time, not nessicarily someone they have met in their early years."

What about the numerous single people in the world. What about all the divorced people, and not to mention priests. These people would not exist iof the concept of soul mate was true.

"i would like you to adress please where i said that there can be multiple soul mates for each person, for i do not recall ever saying that.!"

You said in R2 that - "Actually having a great number of people just widens your range of possible soul mates for you to find. any one of these millions of people could be the one for you."

In the above statement made you mention soul mates. You have changed you're own argument, which is poor show.

"And if money and pride will stand in the way of love, can you call this true love?"

Money may be needed to attract someone's attention to you, to signal the true love. You may never know that person before hand. And to suggest money doesn't factor into love is saying that you can get rich celebrity to love you even by wearing rags and sleeping on the streets without two cents to rub together.

"no i did not compare love with luck in this situation, i simply said that love comes to you when you least expect it and probably when your not looking for it. as opposed the physical barriers that stand in the way of climbing a said mountain whereas you may not be able to afford the material. you can't buy love. Love is always achievable, and it will happen for every one, but some things stand in the way of finding your goal.!

Like I said, there are priests, single people and divorced people in this world. You cannot say love will not happen to everyone if these people exist. Love is not always achievable with people like these in our society, and may not happen to everyone. Everyone has some sort of goal. They have a better chance of completing it by trying rather than waiting for love to find them.

"*love does not depend on random chance or luck, just patience and uneagerness. with goals there are many obstacles in the way
*There is only one true soul mate for every individual, where as goals deteriate and change.
*Love can stay true and confident where as a goal may be a lifetime of wasted hard work, and complications.!!"

In refuting the first point, love is dependent on a form of luck or random chance, as you said that it happens to everyone, but you do not know when or where. Also, with the single people in society, it is luck.

The second point has been refuted by yourself in my above argument.

In refuting the third point, love has as many complications as a life long goal. Love has a random chance factored into, making it anytime before someone finds you, if at all. A life long goal can be accomplished eventually, with some determination and reality.

I again thank my opponent for the great debate.
Debate Round No. 3
31 comments have been posted on this debate. Showing 1 through 10 records.
Posted by Rachelle0705 3 years ago
Rachelle0705
Yes finding love is better than your life long dream. Some people's life long dream is to find love. Love is something alot of people can't live without.
Posted by philosphical 7 years ago
philosphical
exactly! i just went through a class teaching exactly that
Posted by Meganrihanne1992x 7 years ago
Meganrihanne1992x
I believe you must love yourself before you love anyone else, and by loving yourself
and feeling happy people want to achieve there dreams
so dreams andd self dependence comes first (:
Posted by philosphical 7 years ago
philosphical
shweet!! so much better
Posted by I-am-a-panda 7 years ago
I-am-a-panda
Phil just cleansed the debates. Thank the lord!
Posted by philosphical 7 years ago
philosphical
well than that would be a goal in itself
Posted by Ragnar_Rahl 7 years ago
Ragnar_Rahl
Sure it would.

A=A, therefore, A=/=>A
Posted by I-am-a-panda 7 years ago
I-am-a-panda
Exactly true, but I guess that wouldn't count in this debate.
Posted by wjmelements 7 years ago
wjmelements
What if finding love IS your life long dream?
Posted by philosphical 7 years ago
philosphical
yes i was confused as well. most people dont even read my debates.... :(
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Vote Placed by JBlake 7 years ago
JBlake
philosphicalI-am-a-pandaTied
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