good evening voters, today i wish to talk disuses a very serious issue plaguing society today. People in our generation are being oppressed, not even being able to enjoy themselves in their own home. currently human beings such as myself are being forced by public opinion, to not cook and poop at the same time. i feel that when i make dinner every time that i am excreting simultaneously, the meal turns out far better. my family of 23 will often comment on my cooking when i made it pooping at the same time. especially for number 17 jimmy, who was coincidentally conceived while i was pooping, while the scientific evidence is lacking, I still believe strongly in my ideas. i mean there is no evidence or my religion of raelian, but i still strongly believe
Good evening, the discussion today is that it should be made compulsory for people to poop whilst they make dinner. However, I feel the saying, "don't excrete where you eat," has, and is, the most important lesson we can learn from society. Knowing my opponent personally, I can say with certainty that he does NOT wash his hands, which has lead to many a case of cholera at our family gatherings. In fact, my opponent's poop covered mittens have lead to the death of my second wife and child. My family numbers only 16 after my opponent's dreadful poop-cooking fiasco's, and i wish to not lose any more. I'll finish with a quote from Gahndi, "A poop for a poop gives the whole world blood infections."
Good evening again voters, my opponent has stated that his wife and children died at the hand of 'poop meals'. What he doesn't understand is that there is a classic Aussie saying that supports my argument and that is 'put another poop on the barbie' it is a strong cultural stand point that has been apart of my heritage for years to come my father did it and his father did it and his step father did it and then his mum did it after him. I think that my opponents wife and child should also go to his local hardware store, buy a bag of poo, take a teaspoon a day and eat the poo everyday in order to strengthen their immune systems. Anyone who cannot digest poo is a 'woosy poo-poo'. My poo adds another element to the meal, one of both texture and flavor. another pyramid on the food chain, it is essential that people of today are able to take a 'poop' and cook their dinner because there simply is not enough time in a day. Personally at work sometimes I need to 'drop the kids off at the pool' and do it at my desks so as I don't sacrifice work time as i need it to feed the kids and harvest more fecal matter. i also do my bit to support the economy. i find when i eat fast food, my feces has almost an entirely new experience to it and it is definitely worth the salmonella. because of this i eat up to 23 kilograms of fast food a day, i have been told by the manager at work that my obsession with pooping and making dinner at the same time has kept his business running far more than he expected. People may say you can "die" from eating poop but personally I think they are liars because I eat it and I don't die so therefore you can't die eating poop that is wrong. many Kazakhstanee scientists are also prepared to back up my evidence. poo is not the killer here, the real villains are infact the vacciantors.
My internet foe has stated that, due to his culture, he should be allowed to spread his poopy hands all over the food my wife and child eat. I pose a question to you, dear reader. Why should my opponent, a chef, be allowed to perform such a heinous act when we, the the consumers of his meals, are under his duty of care. Why should my opponent be allowed to smear poop all over our family's meals, simply because of a cultural saying? In MY country, we have a saying which goes "Rape ngempango yingcugco" which translates roughly to, "Don't tread on my penis, also don't poop on my food."