The Instigator
sophisticatedhonesty
Pro (for)
Tied
0 Points
The Contender
devin.cooper64
Con (against)
Tied
0 Points

joke battle

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Voting Style: Open Point System: 7 Point
Started: 2/28/2013 Category: Miscellaneous
Updated: 3 years ago Status: Post Voting Period
Viewed: 473 times Debate No: 30817
Debate Rounds (5)
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sophisticatedhonesty

Pro

Two hunters are in the woods, when one of them suddenly collapses. He wasn't breathing, and his eyes looked glazed. Thinking quickly, the other guy grabs his cell phone and calls for help. He shouts at the emergency operator, "I think my friend is dead! What do I do!?"

"Calm down", the operator says in a soothing voice, "I can help you. But first, we need to make sure he's dead."

The phone goes silent for a second, then the operator hears a gunshot; "Ok", says the hunter, "now what?"
Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson go on a camping trip. After a good dinner and a bottle of wine, they pitch their tent and go to sleep. Some hours later, Holmes wakes up and nudges his faithful friend. "Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see."

"I see thousands and thausands of stars, Holmes," replies Watson.

"And what do you deduce from that?"

After thinking for a moment, Watson replies: "Well, astronomically, it tells me that as there are billions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets, others may now be looking at their sky. Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo. Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three. Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. Metaphysically, I can see that we are a small and insignificant part of the universe. What does it tell you, Holmes?"

Holmes is silent for a moment. "Watson, you idiot!" he says. "I deduce someone has stolen our tent!"
Two friends are playing golf one day at their local golf course. One of the guys is about to chip onto the green when he sees a long funeral procession on the road next to the course. He stops in mid-swing, takes off his golf cap, closes his eyes, and bows down in prayer. His friend says: "Wow, that is the most thoughtful and touching thing I have ever seen. You truly are a kind man." The man then replies: "Yeah, well we were married for 35 years."
I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather.

Not screaming in terror like his passengers.
devin.cooper64

Con

Here's a good one.
This debate.
Debate Round No. 1
sophisticatedhonesty

Pro

sophisticatedhonesty forfeited this round.
devin.cooper64

Con

Well it appears that I have in fact, topped the opponents joke for he has forfeited this round.
Debate Round No. 2
sophisticatedhonesty

Pro

sophisticatedhonesty forfeited this round.
devin.cooper64

Con

devin.cooper64 forfeited this round.
Debate Round No. 3
sophisticatedhonesty

Pro

sophisticatedhonesty forfeited this round.
devin.cooper64

Con

devin.cooper64 forfeited this round.
Debate Round No. 4
sophisticatedhonesty

Pro

sophisticatedhonesty forfeited this round.
devin.cooper64

Con

devin.cooper64 forfeited this round.
Debate Round No. 5
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