The Instigator
frankfurter50
Pro (for)
Tied
0 Points
The Contender
George_W_Bush
Con (against)
Tied
0 Points

oranges are NOT wrenches.

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Post Voting Period
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Voting Style: Open Point System: 7 Point
Started: 12/30/2016 Category: Funny
Updated: 1 year ago Status: Post Voting Period
Viewed: 650 times Debate No: 98528
Debate Rounds (4)
Comments (10)
Votes (0)

 

frankfurter50

Pro

oranges are NOT wrenches.

oranges are a fruit. an orange is an organic object which grows on a tree found in tropical areas. it consists of an inedible peel and edible segments. it belongs to a family known as citrus, others of which are lemons and grapefruits.

a wrench is a metal tool. it is commonly employed by carpenters in order to squeeze things. this can be useful for unscrewing screws, bolts, or what have you. it is tightened through the use of a dial, much like calipers used by engineers for measurements.

i am arguing that the two are not the same thing. you are arguing that the two are the same thing. i await your opening argument.
George_W_Bush

Con

According to all known laws of biblical scienetology, there is a correlation between the physical form of a wrench and the fruit of which is known by the name of "orange".

We must look several thousand years in the past in order to understand the true origins of the tool known by the birthname of wrench and how it later splintered off into the form of an eatable, igestable object.

During the Great Typhoon of 1 AC where the great Hubababerloo tribe from the Greek settlement of South-Western Texas were preparing a mass invasion on the indigenous people of southern Europe, a great breakthrough occured. To prevent the mass genocide, the indigenous created a new sticky substance which would later become known as, oil. They dumped it on the Greeks which cause the Great Flood of Northern Japan but that's another story.

Long story short, Jesus created oil and oranges are directly descened from the great wrench people via nuclear energy powered by atomic bombs dropped on Hiroshima, Nagasaki created anime so be sure not to confuse the two.

Debate Round No. 1
frankfurter50

Pro

okay, george w. bush. i can see that you're not really george w. bush.

allow me to tell you why your historically inaccurate claim makes no sense.

there has never been a time period known as "ac." there have, however, been ad and bc (anno domini and before christ). hubababerloo is not a word in the greek language. the greeks never landed in america and besides, texas did not exist yet. for these greek settlers to invade the people of southern europe, they would be attacking their own people( or perhaps the italians, who didn't exist yet either. rome wasn't really much of anything during the time of the greeks) the greeks in europe who were planning to battle the approaching greeks could not "create" oil. oil is an organic substance derived from dead things deep underground. the greeks would need some drilling rigs, which had not yet been discovered. dumping oil in the mediterranean would by no means create a flood in northern japan, since the two are so far apart. jesus did not create oil. this is not mentioned anywhere in the bible, and according to your first paragraph, the greeks did. make up your mind. a naturally occuring fruit can not be descended from people, the orange tree probably existed before they did. i see no reason why nuclear energy, atomic bombs, and hiroshima have anything to do with greeks, jesus, wrenches, or oranges. i wouldn't confuse hiroshima and anime either.

in conclusion, i still believe that wrenches are not oranges. i await your next argument.
George_W_Bush

Con

First off, I am George W. Bush, so shut your mouth

Now Texas did in fact exist, so read up on some facts. How are you unaware of the old and incredibly famous part of the Bible where Jesus turns water into oil and uses it to power up his super sonic hoverboard to which he road to Jerusalem from Houston, duh. Idiot.

Debate Round No. 2
frankfurter50

Pro

you see, sir, in biblical times, the UNITED STATES did not exist, so TEXAS and HOUSTON did not exist. both were founded after america became a country. indeed, some native americans probably lived around there, but they didn't call the region texas or houston.

in the bible, Jesus turned water to WINE, not oil. and a supersonic hover board was never mentioned. the roman empire didn't have electricity, so a super sonic hoverboard would be impossible to create. and i don't think jesus could cross from jerusalem to houston, since the two are separated by africa and the atlantic ocean.

the only religion which believes that jesus came to the americas is that of the mormons, and if you are george w. bush, you are anglican. this means that you are not george w. bush. and even the mormons don't make any mention of a super sonic hover board.

there are two rounds left, i highly suggest you begin giving me sufficient evidence as to why an orange is the same as a wrench. i still believe that the two are not the same.
George_W_Bush

Con

That is where you are grossly wrong, for one, I've in fact converted to mormonism so I find you disgusting attack on my religious beliefs both wrong and degenerate and I suggest performing capital punishment on yourself in order to cleanse yourself of your heretical sinnery.

And Jesus is Jesus, how dare you question his powers you neckbeard fedora tipping atheist scum.
Debate Round No. 3
frankfurter50

Pro

sir, your conduct is simply grotesque.

voters, might i remind you that throughout this debate, my opponent has provided little, if any, evidence as to why oranges are wrenches, he has made a mockery of christianity, he has masqueraded as one of the most popular republican presidents of all time, and he has thoroughly insulted me. i hope that you consider these factors before making your vote. thank you.

in closing:
oranges are NOT wrenches. one is silver, the other is orange. one is hard, the other is soft. one is a tool, the other is a fruit. their textures and looks are not at all similar. they are not the same object, and they should not be considered as such. i await my opponent's closing statement.

p.s. voters, if you look at his profile, you may notice that he is methodist-and therefore not a mormon. also, the real george w. bush is anglican. and i doubt that an esteemed man like bush would insult me as my opponent has.
George_W_Bush

Con

Unlike my opponent here, I am not looking for votes but for the truth.

The truth, being, wrenches are in fact oranges as it's chemical existence is one in the same, in other words, cosmic atomic rays have sealed the physical bond of the wrench and the orange. This has been proven by many academic professors and scholars, such as Professor Benjamin Swartz of Harvard University in this video here: https://www.youtube.com...

Now, as for you Mr. Hot Dog, your continous insults towards my religious beliefs are frankly disgusting and I recommend a reevaluation of your so-called "life".

Thank you, god bless you and god bless the United States of America.
Debate Round No. 4
10 comments have been posted on this debate. Showing 1 through 10 records.
Posted by whiteflame 1 year ago
whiteflame
*******************************************************************
>Reported vote: LastSaga // Mod action: Removed<

7 points to Con. Reasons for voting decision: AWESOME

[*Reason for removal*] Not an RFD.
************************************************************************
Posted by frankfurter50 1 year ago
frankfurter50
i don't even know what that means, gators43776.

last saga, it seems to me that most voters on this site think that voting is a joke.
Posted by gators43776 1 year ago
gators43776
Did I just get rickrolled?
Posted by frankfurter50 1 year ago
frankfurter50
listen, pal. i'm not insulting your religious beliefs, okay? it's just that george w. bush is anglican, your profile says you're a methodist, and in this profile you say you're a mormon. you can't be all three! so, which is it? huh?

also, mormonism never mentions a super sonic hoverboard.
Posted by frankfurter50 1 year ago
frankfurter50
um, georgie, i hate to break it to you, but that's not professor benjamin swartz, it's rick astley. dancing.
Posted by Jocularly_Solemn 1 year ago
Jocularly_Solemn
You can juggle with wrenches. You can juggle with oranges. This implies, oranges = wrenches.
Posted by frankfurter50 1 year ago
frankfurter50
i doubt it.
Posted by gators43776 1 year ago
gators43776
I still have to wait for this next round and maybe I will think oranges are wrenches
Posted by frankfurter50 1 year ago
frankfurter50
i hope you don't vote, sir.
Posted by gators43776 1 year ago
gators43776
Come on oranges are obviously wrenches how can you disagree with that
No votes have been placed for this debate.