The Instigator
savvga13
Pro (for)
Tied
0 Points
The Contender
Travniki
Con (against)
Tied
0 Points

story debate

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Voting Style: Open Point System: 7 Point
Started: 6/9/2013 Category: Miscellaneous
Updated: 3 years ago Status: Post Voting Period
Viewed: 572 times Debate No: 34634
Debate Rounds (5)
Comments (3)
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savvga13

Pro

I'm new to this site so I decided to pick the easiest debate. Here are the rules:
1. I would rather not have # of words limits, but alas, 8,000 characters or less. (don't include periods, commas, ( ), or whatever unless the site actually counts for you.

2. whoever accepts this debate writes the first part, and we take turns writing

3. whoever writes the most interesting/well-written/captivating part wins
4. whoever stops taking part in this debate forfeits.

Have fun writing and good luck!
Travniki

Con

I only need one round to post my story; I put this on a similair story debate but no one voted so here's a repost

I wrote this round Halloween time

Being a man of some resolution, I kept my breathing at a steady pace as my fingers laced around the rusted doorknob. Having fallen victim to a faulty car battery, on a stretch of country road long removed from civilization, I was faced with the decision of taking respite in a nearby shack or waiting for help in the storm. The heavy rain assaulted my person to such a degree that I quickly chose the former option and found myself staring into the darkened corners of the desolate hovel.

After much stumbling and cursing, the flicker of light from my waning torch revealed to me the interior of the wooden cabin. I was immediately taken aback by the stifling atomity of the mere one room that composed the entire building. In the corner occupied a rusty, iron skeleton of a bed. However, it was the entity immediately above the sleeping area that demanded my absolute attention and promptly imposed itself as an object of my utter disgust and horror.

A portrait depicting a being of atrocious repugnance oppressed the entire room. It flouted a hideous caricature of a man, if one may even call it that, leering across the room with twisted, canine teeth. Devoid of eyelashes or eyebrows, its already monstrously large eyes were accentuated to the point were they were bulging outside of its head. Lacking pupils, its two orbs were swollen and purple, dissected by the many thick stitches that criss-crossed its face. Mangled fingers on scarred hands stretched out before this beast, as if beckoning me to come join him. I blanched at this terror, at this hideous painting, scarcely able to believe that an artist could create such revulsion through simple paints and oils. His filthy grey hair fell down to his emaciated shoulders in greasy tangles. Its face had such an expression of wild, unbridled, gleeful malice that I almost cried out in horror at the atrocity of art. The loathsome portrait imposed such an assertion of cruelty, I could not suppress the shudder that coursed down my spine.

Throughout a long and grievous night I lied directly beneath this oppressive painting. I tossed and turned, frequently suffering from shaking fits and cold sweats.

I awoke in the early morning sun haggard and drawn. My eyes drew upwards. Is there any surprise that there was no portrait above me?

There was only a window.
Debate Round No. 1
savvga13

Pro

And should I go out? Yes! Yes! To get away from the grotesque, wretched thing, to get out, find life! I leapt out, refusing to look out the portrait, but alas, my peripheral vision did not fail. I could still see it's monstrous eyes, loathing, grinning, taunting me.

I turned towards the door, but it was gone, replaced by exposed, bare wood, almost like raw sticks planted in the mud. So, there was only a window? If this was God's joke on me, then fine, I would climb out, no matter how long it took me.

There was no ladder, but I, being decently tall, (and ceiling being low) could stand on the bed and just reach the window, I tapped at it, tried to pull it open. It did not yield. Frowning, I heaved at it, hoping to push it outwards, and that's when I felt something very wrong.

The window had the texture of glass, but now, as I pushed against it, I felt the glass turn rough, a layer of hardened oil. And before my eyes, I watch that cloudy glass turn into clumsily painted gold, dotted with specks of azure sky and pink clouds. From the corner of eyes, I saw the sickening portrait almost laughing, it seemed, its stretched lips widening into a black hole, teeth bared into an awful, mocking grin. I knocked vainly at the window, but only heard the hollow sound of wood, not glass. And with this terrifying revelation, I fell back onto the creaking bed, helpless, desperate, and trapped.

But no, I would not show my weakness in front of that diabolical beast, that "it". So I again rose from the bed, gritted my teeth, and lunged at the mangy sticks that made up the cabin walls. I was blasted back with some almost bone-shattering force, tossed like a rag doll back onto the bed. Furious, I sprang at the wall, again and again, and was always rejected like a basketball hitting the headboard of the hoop. And that "it" was laughing at me.

Come here, little creature, it hissed, and its voice circled arouund my mind, squeezing my brain like a cobra squeezing its prey. That voice was slurred, as scratchy and rusted as the bed, iron nails disintegrating into chalk, a bristly reptilian tounge oozing thick, sticky saliva.

Be like me, a happy life here, you see? Rot away, scare people....happy life, you see? it grinned triuphantly.

Trying my best to ignore "it", I decided to try another tactic. I gingerly leaned against the wall, hoping that patience and gentleness could make the wall give way. Besides, if I tried to lunge at the wall again, I would certainly break my legs and arms and a few ribs. The wall squeaked, but did not collaspe.

"It" sneered at me. Not so easy , liitle creature, huhn? You want to try, be my guuuest."


Shut up,
I told it, and suddenly I was overcome with a terrible, painful feeling that burned from deep in my mind. Something was wrenching at my head, twisting it, shaking it, wringing it, so that all my thoughts became muddied, jumbled rubble. I was confused, I was lost, I was everywhere and nowhere, and that face, that visage, flashing in front of me, smirking and jeering and opening its big dark hole of a mouth, cold white lips stetched out so wide. Those sharp, blackened teeth were going to chomp into me; I could see the lolling, salivating brown tounge, the sobbing souls that it had devoured stuck like bits of sticky candy deep in the back molars, ready to eat me as it had eaten all those other lost people. I was flailing, screaming, crying, insane, clawing at the wall in wild desperation. Those purpled eyes bounced out from their sockets, gleeful, glowing, brimming with cruel pride. My ears rang with a demonic, distorted laugh. I crumpled onto the ground.


thank you for accepting this debate! i apologize for any mispellings/misuse of words.




Travniki

Con

Travniki forfeited this round.
Debate Round No. 2
savvga13

Pro

savvga13 forfeited this round.
Travniki

Con

Travniki forfeited this round.
Debate Round No. 3
savvga13

Pro

This debate is closed since the opponent does not participate anymore. Thank you.
Travniki

Con

Travniki forfeited this round.
Debate Round No. 4
savvga13

Pro

closed debate.
Travniki

Con

Travniki forfeited this round.
Debate Round No. 5
3 comments have been posted on this debate. Showing 1 through 3 records.
Posted by savvga13 3 years ago
savvga13
@sweetbreeze- Ikr?
Posted by sweetbreeze 3 years ago
sweetbreeze
This debate could have been great if the competitors participated properly.
Posted by sweetbreeze 3 years ago
sweetbreeze
Er, cool?
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