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who can create a better story in 24 hours

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Voting Style: Open Point System: 7 Point
Started: 2/19/2015 Category: Miscellaneous
Updated: 3 years ago Status: Post Voting Period
Viewed: 610 times Debate No: 70345
Debate Rounds (2)
Comments (3)
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i can make a better story than you in 24 hours first round is acceptance
Debate Round No. 1


First thank you Junior Varsity Novice for accepting this. good luck
Michael is 25 years old, he has brown hair, blue eyes, and is 6ft1. He is about to have his life change drastically. His friends are Gage, Conner, Marcus, and his brother Clayton. It was just a normal day in Denver, he was driving his car full of his friends to work when he heard this blood curdling scream coming from his friend Clayton he looked he saw a Ford truck come crashing into there car and hitting the car so hard that it flipped the car 15 times before it came crashing into a building and knocking Michael out cold.
When he woke up he heard moaning but thought it was his friend but he looked and they were still knocked out. He checked they"re pulse and he was glad to find that they were alive and that no bones were broken. He got out of the car and looked around there was no people around but he still heard the moaning. He is shocked to find that the streets are empty and that it was getting dark so he went back into the car and moved his friends out of the car. He got Clayton out of the car last because he was in the side of the car that was against the wall in the back seat. When he got Clayton to a safe distance the cars gas set fire and the car was set a blaze. His friends awoke to the car exploding and Michael desisted to leave and to find shelter in one of the building he didn't know why he did but he was glad that he did it. He saw a rush of people run at the car and then he saw a person run in fear as soon as he saw the others the people ran after the guy and killed him as they ran past Michael saw that most of them were bloody. He saw on the wall aim for the head written in blood.
He also saw a body on the ground and a shotgun in his left hand. Michael goes over the body and sees that there is a bite mark and his neck and then he pies up the gun and sees that it is 1 shell in the chamber. Then the guy gets up and starts running at Clayton. Clayton pushed the man and the man falls and then got up. Then the guy ran for Michael and Michael notices that the man is slightly pale and has a bite on his leg it looks infected. He drops the gun and it fires and the mans foot is gone but the man keeps coming and then Michael know that it would bring any living thing to the ground and he thinks that is might be a zombie. So he picks up the gun and bashes the guy to the ground then starts to beat him in the chest with the gun and he brakes through the chest of the guy and then he thinks that the guy is dead so he gets up and then the guy jumps up and what is left of the guys guts spills out on the floor. The guy is still coming at him so he hits the guy on the ground and starts to bash the zombie"s limbs of and succeeds then he bashes the guys head into the ground.
Then he checked the guy"s body for shotgun shells he found 5 shells in the guys pocket. He knows that it will not be enough so he asks Marcus to go up stairs and look for shotgun shells and he goes up stairs with him he knows that they all need to stick together but he leaves Gage, Conner, Clayton down stairs they need to stay and hide until they come back down. Michael and Marcus go up stairs and split up. Michael finds 30 shells and 50 9mm pistol bullets and can"t find the pistol. Marcus finds a 9mm pistol but no ammo for it and 30shells.
They both here something coming up the stairs so they run toward each other and Michael sees that Marcus has a 9mm pistol in his hand and asks for it. Marcus gives the gun to him and then asks for the shotgun. Michael gives him the shotgun and the ammo for it. They did it in a matter of seconds and the both ran for the stairs and had weapons drawn. They then saw that it was just Clayton who had found some guns and was coming to get them. They go down stairs and see that there are two gun cases one is full of ammo and the other has, an m16, an m1 grand, a m4, a hunting rifle, and a 5 M-9-11 military issue pistols.
That"s when they heard it the crying the instant crying I sounded like a little girl when they saw it they froze. It had long claws and it had red eyes that made chills run up their spines. The monster was a grown woman she looked like she needed help but when they saw a man run up to her and try to talk to her she snapped and ripped him into pieces then she just kept walking with his head still in her hand they waited tell she passed and then ran across the street to see a man being strangled by what looked like a tongue so they shot the thing and it let go and the man was out of breath. He thanked them and ran the way they had come from and right into the woman and got killed and then the thing saw them and started running toward them and they shoot at it and kill it but they know that the zombies were changing into special zombies. They then heard a radio and they investigated it and found out that it was a two way receiver they called the man on the radio and said that they where ready to be air lifted out of New York City. Man said that he would be there in 30 min. they put down the radio and that"s when the trouble really started for them. This guy with a hoodie came and jumped on gage and killed him then they started shooting at it. They killed it but they lost gage and it was bloody all around them. By the time the chopper arrived Conner was dead and the others where badly bleeding the guys on the helicopter got them and took them to a military base and stayed there until the base got over run and now myself and my brother Clayton are what is left of the world at the moment we don"t know who else is out there but if you are hearing this message come to the fort in Albany and come here if you want to live. Marcus signing out.


“I'm mad as H*l and I'm not going to take this anymore!”

“I'm mad as H*l and I'm not going to take this anymore!”

“I'm mad as H*l and I'm not going to take this anymore!”

I slapped the dresser in search of my iPod 2, it hit my wrist just short of my hand. Lunging again I knocked everything off….”S**, now I have to get up……sigh.” My feet touched the cold worn wood floor as I blurrily stared down at the dropped stuff, the way it happens every day. I picked up my lipstick, hairbrush and iphone and hit “off”, then I swept and old shell casing under the dresser. I stood just in time to hear my mother scream “Wha’c h*ll are you doin’ up there! U got 10 minutes till ur late again d** it and I aint goin to truancy court no more!”. “maybe you wouldn’t have the law on your a** if you could control your drinking! Maybe then you could buy some food too” I said under my breath. “there is no time to get ready, I’ll just wear a bun and some sweats…well maybe being late isn’t so bad, I don’t want them to start anything tod…” “Hurry Up d** you!” the miserable woman yelled. “I just have to go”.

I arrived with only a minute to spare but couldn’t make it to my locker and to class on time. The bell rang just a few steps before my English 10 class. My hand touched the door handle, I could already see the smirks on everyone’s face. “Hey look, Vaseline breath actually came today guys” said Edmund under his breath, a jock who thinks women exist solely to please men. Unless they are unattractive, in which case they are better off not breathing; I’m one of those girls according to him. I sat down with the snide chuckle of the jocks in one corner of the room and the snickering of the prepy girls in the other. Laying my head down, I was determined not to look up, else they see my crying again. I knew what they were talking about, it was the same every single day. They would bash my hair, clothes, breath, foot size, intelligence, and of course sluttyness. I have never had sex once in my life yet since middle school I have been told I’m nothing more than a ‘penis hungry hoe’. Thinking about it made my tear up, I could hear them talking about me! I know Mr. Gregory can too, so why doesn’t he do anything about it! No one ever helps me! Am I meant to be bullied, to be picked on?? I couldn’t stop these thoughts rushing through my head and before I knew it tears welled up and I began to sob like a child. There was an awkward silence in the room for a minute before I heard a tiny laugh from across the room. “Is she really crying in class?” “ya ya, Here take out your phone this is going to go on worldstar” “hahah, we’ll name it ‘ugly hoe mascara river’” “Hahah, shh shh, Mr. Gregory will hear us. Keep your phone low too”. I stood up in a manic sobbing rage and ran out of the class, knocking my stuff and 2 empty desks over.

I and I ran and I didn’t realize where I was going. Looking up I realized I had somehow wandered into the locker room, 15 minutes had passed. I sat quietly now, only sniffles came from me. I lowered my hand from my eye to my leg, feeling my ipod and headphones in my pocket. Relief, I thought. I put my buds in and turned on my ipod, a song was on play which I haven’t listened to in a while. Something by Tyler the Creator. I pressed play and it resumed:

“…Come on kids, f** that class and hit that bong
Let's buy guns and kill those kids with dads and mom
With nice homes, 41k's, and nice a** lawns
Those privileged f**s got to learn that we ain't taking no sh…”

I felt consoled at the violent words, Like at least saying them, thinking about doing those things, somehow made me feel better.

The door swung open, I could hear a group of girls coming in. “Oh, No”. Am I an idiot?? How could I forget that Shawna and her friends always skipped first hour to smoke cigarettes in the locker room?! “I’m in deep trouble. Deep deep trouble” I thought. Last time I was with Shawna and a group of people I was face down and bloody. This girl and her 2 friends tracked me down after school and beat me with sticks until I passed out, she only stopped because a car was driving by but she swore next time she got a chance I would regret the misfortune. I had a fractured shin but my mother said she didn’t have the health care or the money to take me to the doctor. I probably did something to deserve it she justified. I considered charging past her and making a dash but I couldn’t move. “Come on d** you! Move! Move!? I’m so scared what am I going to do? I am dead, I am dead, I am de…” “Oh my god Look who it is!” Shawna’s friend exclaimed. “its Liana!” a interested sound came from the group on the other row of lockers. Then a sudden rush of feet towards my location. Everyone started yelling at me. Screaming enveloped my ears. “Hey what’cha doing in here!” “Awww look who it is guys!” “Hahaha I think she wants a rematch guys!” A slap grazed my chin and then another landed across my face. My entire head rang and vibrated with pain. My eyes widened. Shawna stopped on my Ipod and it snapped. I was paralyzed, “What is going on?? What’s happening? Why?” I hit the floor and they picked my back up. “hey Jenna, let’s go get it” “get wha..oohhh! good idea” she grinned. Three of them still pushed me back and forth I was starting to get dizzy. My head hit one of the lockers really hard and I no longer knew what was going on. Touching my face I realized there was blood. It was warm but for some reason I had 4 hands… I think the other 2 came back then, all I know is that something cold and wet was smashed in my face. “Guys, I guess we should call her mayonnaise breath now?” “Hahah, how about baloney breath?” “Oh I got it girls, ‘sandwich sucker’.” A name fit for a princess huh girls?” They all laughed, such a terrible laugh.

Now my face was wet and bleeding and I was dazed and confused. “You wont guess what we found in coached room girls” “what?” “duck tape”. I was still standing by the locker but they pushed my onto my back directly on the bench. They pressed on my shoulders hard, stretching every muscle in my back. “STOP! It hurts!” I sobbed. “shut up d** it!” “get the duck tape.” I screamed, writhed, struggled but the 5 were simply too much to handle. They easily pulled my head back. Forced me to do what they wanted. They wrapped the tape around my head and mouth multiple times and I couldn’t breathe. “move the tape down she’ll die” “so?” “Seriously hema just move it down.” They moved it and I sucked in air like I had just swam from the deepest pit in the ocean up to the surface. “Stop, please!” I said in a muffle. “shut up, were gona punish you for trying to be on our level.” They wrapped the entire roll around my arms, legs, knees and every other orifice including fingers. I was dragged into the locker room shower and they all stood there for a second before all coming to the same conclusion. Shawna reached over me and turned the shower on as I looked up at them. “Ewww, you smell like mayonnaise… have a shower” the water came out, I was unprepared and got sprayed directly in the eyes. I rolled over face down on the dirty tile floor and sobbed in a muffled shriek as they left. “Don’t tell anyone or we really will kill you next time!” The water suddenly turned hot, then scolding hot. The back of my skull, neck, back and legs all burnt worse than anything I have ever experienced. “Am I in h*ll??” I struggled and struggled, the water loosed the tape a bit but it was just too tight. I screamed and yelled as the pain made my existence on earth nothing more than that of pain itself.

A couple eternities later 2 boys scrambled in. One reached for the handle but burnt his hand and drew it back. He looked down and realize the water was still pouring on her and reached back in and turned the water off. I screamed and screamed. The water was off but I could still fill the beating of the scalding water on my body. “You’re ok now! The water is off!” he went to lift me up but I bit his hand and kept writhing. I passed out and woke up in the nurses office laying on once of their aged beds. “Where am I?” I said. “You’re in the nurse’s office dear, you’ve got first degree burns on you dear. The principle will be down here shortly and he will expect every detail of your explanation.” “Are you sure we should be asking her questions so early?” the new nurse said. “I said the same thing but that’s just how principle Hanigan would have it” “it’s a shame” one said under her breath just as principle Hanigan strode in. “how are ya young lady.” Almost rhetorically. “I…I’m, um…I don’t..I” I simply couldn’t get any words out. “Now come on you can do better than that young lady we’re here to help you”. “I..I..Uhh..gulp..flinch..I don’t kno..” “Young lady!” he demanded, “we need justification this instant.” His voice made mine go blank and I sat in confusion, twenty minutes had passed since they carried me out of the locker room. Five had passed since I had awoken. “Now, I understand it may be hard for you to talk at this moment but you will eventually have to release the information. Is this all you can say for yourself?” I gave him a blank stare and he looked at me in dis-amusement. He stood and walked out. “I will see you immediately tomorrow do you understand.” His voice carried in the hallway. Shawna and only 1 of her friends strode by the door, giving demeaning looks. "why havent the cops been called?" one of he nurses said under her breath.

When I was home my mother showed utter indifference to my injuries. she seemed to enjoy my silence actually. I lay looking at the ceiling until midnight broke my trance. My ipod rang out “I'm mad as H*l and I'm not going to take this anymore!” I quickly turned it off. Only then did I notice how beautifull of a night it was. The moon light shone through the window and the room was still my head was ablaze. "They did so much to me..." I reached under my bed and grabbed my gun. It was shiny from the moon, but I had other things to think about. plans to finalize...

Debate Round No. 2
3 comments have been posted on this debate. Showing 1 through 3 records.
Posted by TheJuniorVarsityNovice 3 years ago
who do you think should have won
Posted by TheJuniorVarsityNovice 3 years ago
no problem, i love rounds like this
Posted by oldeskoolgamer 3 years ago
thank you for accepting this debate Junior Varsity Novice i hope you have fun because i did
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