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"Love is my drug" poem

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4/7/2015 10:43:28 AM
Posted: 1 year ago
Love is a paralyzing drug in my mind
Stronger than crack rushing through me
Stronger than heroin pierced in my vein

Fear of losing the sensations has me paranoid
Adrenaline flooding my brain like ocean waves
And i feel the pain overcome my whole body
Like hard meth and lean, my heart is fading

Obsessed with this ideal that we call love
Full of anger as i'm laid out, brainwashed
Fueled with violence at the hint of betrayal
Enslaved to the potency of it's vital effects

I'm afraid of my deepest and darkness hallucinations
The dose of high self esteem got me into excitement
Oblivious to the lives around me, do i have any hope?
Drowning in anxiety, i'm heavily addicted to women

Like a new born baby, i am spoon-fed this perfection
I can't desperately discern between reality and illusion
I'm convulsing, contorted, crazed for toxic chemicals
I pray God one day has mercy and gives me the antidote
Posts: 14,280
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4/7/2015 11:00:23 AM
Posted: 1 year ago
Love is overrated IMHO
I don't care about whether an ideology is "necessary" or not,
I care about how to solve problems,
which is what everyone else should also care about.

In essence, the world is fucked up and you can either ignore it, become cynical or bitter about it.



P.S. Shipped Sailey before it was cannon bitches.
Posts: 2,402
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6/3/2015 12:42:13 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
Uhh....not TOO bad.

But I have a couple of problems with it........

Mentioning heroin and crack. Not good. Too negative. It also implies you have personally tried them, which will turn-off your readers.

"addicted to women."


To me, this sounds like you are just a nymphomaniac. Addicted to sex, to lust. ANd not to genuine love of a single woman, which is what I first thought you were referring to when I began the poem.

It needs to be toned-down a bit. "Convulsing." "Paralyzed." A bit verbose, or maudlin.

Overall score.........4.5 out of 10.
Science Flies Us to the Moon. Religion Flies us Into Skyscrapers.