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InquireTruth
Posts: 723
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9/9/2010 11:16:27 PM
Posted: 6 years ago
Quite some time ago (high school) I wrote a story based on popular chain-mail stories found drifting to-and-fro on Myspace and other social networks. I've decided to resurrect it and make it into a more compelling, longer work of fiction. I would gladly receive input. The story can be found here: http://www.scribd.com...

Please keep in mind that this story was written by a much younger me and is no doubt laden with potential improvement.
lovelife
Posts: 14,629
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9/9/2010 11:25:25 PM
Posted: 6 years ago
Thats pretty sad. I think if you give it more plot and detail it could be much better, but its definately not too bad. Especially considering you said it was basically a bunch of chain letters put together.
Without Royal there is a hole inside of me, I have no choice but to leave
InsertNameHere
Posts: 15,699
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9/9/2010 11:27:02 PM
Posted: 6 years ago
At 9/9/2010 11:25:25 PM, lovelife wrote:
Thats pretty sad. I think if you give it more plot and detail it could be much better, but its definately not too bad. Especially considering you said it was basically a bunch of chain letters put together.

Remember that story I was writing about America being nuked? A bunch of that is entirely letters written by some of the characters. I like the concept.
InquireTruth
Posts: 723
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9/9/2010 11:34:12 PM
Posted: 6 years ago
Especially considering you said it was basically a bunch of chain letters put together.

Well actually I remember reading a very short chain-mail blurb and it inspired this. I think it came in many forms. So I just took the idea and expanded it into an actual story. Now I would like to take that even further.
lovelife
Posts: 14,629
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9/9/2010 11:42:24 PM
Posted: 6 years ago
At 9/9/2010 11:34:12 PM, InquireTruth wrote:
Especially considering you said it was basically a bunch of chain letters put together.

Well actually I remember reading a very short chain-mail blurb and it inspired this. I think it came in many forms. So I just took the idea and expanded it into an actual story. Now I would like to take that even further.

I think you should your a good writer. I read your poems and I think they're all really good. (I think they all talk about God and death, but it doesn't really matter)

Yeah it sounds like soo many chain letters, but its actually constructed in a decent way that doesn't want to make me scream lol.
Without Royal there is a hole inside of me, I have no choice but to leave
lovelife
Posts: 14,629
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9/9/2010 11:43:15 PM
Posted: 6 years ago
At 9/9/2010 11:27:02 PM, InsertNameHere wrote:
At 9/9/2010 11:25:25 PM, lovelife wrote:
Thats pretty sad. I think if you give it more plot and detail it could be much better, but its definately not too bad. Especially considering you said it was basically a bunch of chain letters put together.

Remember that story I was writing about America being nuked? A bunch of that is entirely letters written by some of the characters. I like the concept.

Lol yeah, but I don't think its the same storyline at all. I mean unless one of the nukers had a gf in the US.
Without Royal there is a hole inside of me, I have no choice but to leave
InsertNameHere
Posts: 15,699
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9/9/2010 11:48:39 PM
Posted: 6 years ago
At 9/9/2010 11:43:15 PM, lovelife wrote:

Lol yeah, but I don't think its the same storyline at all. I mean unless one of the nukers had a gf in the US.

Nah, the first bit is letters written by an American spy deployed to Iran.
lovelife
Posts: 14,629
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9/10/2010 12:00:53 AM
Posted: 6 years ago
At 9/9/2010 11:48:39 PM, InsertNameHere wrote:
At 9/9/2010 11:43:15 PM, lovelife wrote:

Lol yeah, but I don't think its the same storyline at all. I mean unless one of the nukers had a gf in the US.

Nah, the first bit is letters written by an American spy deployed to Iran.

Lol I think you should make a love twist. Or you could make all the vegetarians turn into vampires, that must go elsewhere to feed due to everything being dead. Except bugs but I doubt they help vampires.
Something like that.

I feel like we should help OP but I'm not sure what advice to give on that.
Without Royal there is a hole inside of me, I have no choice but to leave
InquireTruth
Posts: 723
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9/14/2010 10:43:19 PM
Posted: 6 years ago
At 9/9/2010 11:25:25 PM, lovelife wrote:
Thats pretty sad. I think if you give it more plot and detail it could be much better, but its definately not too bad. Especially considering you said it was basically a bunch of chain letters put together.

So more plot and detail?
lovelife
Posts: 14,629
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9/14/2010 10:44:57 PM
Posted: 6 years ago
At 9/14/2010 10:43:19 PM, InquireTruth wrote:
At 9/9/2010 11:25:25 PM, lovelife wrote:
Thats pretty sad. I think if you give it more plot and detail it could be much better, but its definately not too bad. Especially considering you said it was basically a bunch of chain letters put together.

So more plot and detail?

Pretty much, yeah.
Without Royal there is a hole inside of me, I have no choice but to leave
lovelife
Posts: 14,629
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9/14/2010 11:38:22 PM
Posted: 6 years ago
Btw I shared it with my friends. They cried too.
Without Royal there is a hole inside of me, I have no choice but to leave