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Woof of the Arf Bark Party

CosmicAlfonzo
Posts: 5,955
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4/21/2011 7:13:03 PM
Posted: 5 years ago
That's right, Cosmic Alfonzo is running for president, as you may have heard.

I will make the perfect figure head, because unlike askbob, I don't have crabs, and unlike Socialpinko, I'm not a RUSSIA FELLATING COMMUNIST.

If I am elected, Everything will go according to plan. Everyone will pretty much do everything they already do on their own accord, and I will basically do whatever the hell I feel like, which more than likely is sit on my @ss and do NOTHING that I don't already do.

I promise a sombrero on every cat, and no cattle proddings for those who vote for me.

I am clearly the most qualified to fit the position of stupid looking figurehead who wears a suit, so what do you have to lose? Nothing but your dignity.

*insert manipulative appeal to emotion here*
Official "High Priest of Secular Affairs and Transient Distributor of Sonic Apple Seeds relating to the Reptilian Division of Paperwork Immoliation" of The FREEDO Bureaucracy, a DDO branch of the Erisian Front, a subdivision of the Discordian Back, a Limb of the Illuminatian Cosmic Utensil Corp
CosmicAlfonzo
Posts: 5,955
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4/21/2011 7:16:06 PM
Posted: 5 years ago
Also, I'm the only politician honest enough to say that everything these other fools promise can be accomplished without the need to be president.

I will pretty much let everyone else figure this stuff while I steal the cre- I mean, while I give the thumbs up.

It probably wouldn't be too hard to convince me that an idea was b!tchin' either, as long as you are willing to bum a square.
Official "High Priest of Secular Affairs and Transient Distributor of Sonic Apple Seeds relating to the Reptilian Division of Paperwork Immoliation" of The FREEDO Bureaucracy, a DDO branch of the Erisian Front, a subdivision of the Discordian Back, a Limb of the Illuminatian Cosmic Utensil Corp
tvellalott
Posts: 10,864
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4/21/2011 7:20:29 PM
Posted: 5 years ago
Sombrero on every cat... A strong election promise.
"Caitlyn Jenner is an incredibly brave and stunningly beautiful woman."

Muh threads
Using mafia tactics in real-life: http://www.debate.org...
6 years of DDO: http://www.debate.org...
CosmicAlfonzo
Posts: 5,955
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5/13/2011 2:57:56 PM
Posted: 5 years ago
The election is a a sham, it is just a conspiracy by the current group to regain power.

Vote Cosmic Alfonzo. A vote for Cosmic Alfonzo is a vote against those other wankers.
Official "High Priest of Secular Affairs and Transient Distributor of Sonic Apple Seeds relating to the Reptilian Division of Paperwork Immoliation" of The FREEDO Bureaucracy, a DDO branch of the Erisian Front, a subdivision of the Discordian Back, a Limb of the Illuminatian Cosmic Utensil Corp
CosmicAlfonzo
Posts: 5,955
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5/15/2011 11:46:50 PM
Posted: 5 years ago
Askdolf Hitler's platform involves silencing the "Record attempt at most posts" topic. This assault on free speech can not be tolerated!

I would like to add that I am a champion of free speech, no matter how moronic, and if given figurehead status, will tap loudly at the Juggle office doors until they abolish the forum censor for good!

FREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEDOM!

Come with me through the inter-dimensional portal, where we will find lands filled with the most non-kosher of foods.

http://1.bp.blogspot.com...
Official "High Priest of Secular Affairs and Transient Distributor of Sonic Apple Seeds relating to the Reptilian Division of Paperwork Immoliation" of The FREEDO Bureaucracy, a DDO branch of the Erisian Front, a subdivision of the Discordian Back, a Limb of the Illuminatian Cosmic Utensil Corp