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Grand Templar Master of Agriculture

Grape
Posts: 989
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4/25/2011 6:12:38 PM
Posted: 5 years ago
Friends, there is a grave problem upon us. As you are all no doubt aware, DDO's level of agricultural production is staggeringly and immorally low. An organization of several thousand members, in order to remain noble, sustainable, and productive, must maintain a sufficient level of food production. Are we all to be leeches off those who labor the land? No, the time for change is here and we must due our part.

It is for this reason that I see it necessary to run for the position of Grand Templar Master of Agriculture. It is not a burden that I undertake lightly, but I feel it is a necessary service the the community. Without a strong leader to provide confidence, inspiration, wise orders, and vicious whip beatings, we will never get the agricultural sector of our economy up and running again. I will put the full extent on my acumen, diligence, and faith in the power of slave labor toward the task of revitalizing the farms and fields of Debate.org and restoring the rightful way of life.

My plan to carry this out is very simple:

1) I will select a number of members at random to have the privilege to work on the farms of DDO. It will require approximately 99% of the membership of the site. Because the top 1% of the site spends the majority of their time in front of computer and are thus scrawny and weak, they (who by total coincidence comprise the majority of the voters) shall not receive this honor. I will, of course, make exceptions for socialists, theists, statists, and other especially beloved people who I would not so injure. Though the few among you who will not have this honor may be greatly disheartened, due not fret too much: you will be compensated by receiving profit of the agricultural product after expenses are paid. I realize this is a heavy burden, but I will bear the costs with you, which brings me to my next point:

2) For the necessary expenses of the position of Grand Templar Master of Agriculture, I will need approximately 85% of the profits. While this may cut in slightly to the compensation paid to the unfortunate few not working the farms, those that are will, bless them for their fortune, be paid little enough and worked hard enough that a significant profit can be drawn. The amount of the reparations paid to you will be quite sufficient. It is regretful that so much money must be spend on my office, but a Grand Templar Master of Agriculture simply cannot get by without extended vacations abroad, gold-encrusted robes, voluptuous female escorts, a mansion, and other basic comforts.

Thank you for hearing my concerns. It should be obvious to all that this matter is both pressing and urgent. It is your honor and duty as a member of Debate.org to vote Grape as your Grand Templar Master of Agriculture and so save yourselves from indolence, impoverishment, and evil.
Ore_Ele
Posts: 25,980
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4/25/2011 6:15:27 PM
Posted: 5 years ago
At 4/25/2011 6:15:07 PM, Cody_Franklin wrote:
I'm not playing Farmville.

10/10
"Wanting Red Rhino Pill to have gender"
vardas0antras
Posts: 983
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4/25/2011 6:43:59 PM
Posted: 5 years ago
At 4/25/2011 6:12:38 PM, Grape wrote:
Friends, there is a grave problem upon us. As you are all no doubt aware, DDO's level of agricultural production is staggeringly and immorally low. An organization of several thousand members, in order to remain noble, sustainable, and productive, must maintain a sufficient level of food production. Are we all to be leeches off those who labor the land? No, the time for change is here and we must due our part.

It is for this reason that I see it necessary to run for the position of Grand Templar Master of Agriculture. It is not a burden that I undertake lightly, but I feel it is a necessary service the the community. Without a strong leader to provide confidence, inspiration, wise orders, and vicious whip beatings, we will never get the agricultural sector of our economy up and running again. I will put the full extent on my acumen, diligence, and faith in the power of slave labor toward the task of revitalizing the farms and fields of Debate.org and restoring the rightful way of life.

My plan to carry this out is very simple:

1) I will select a number of members at random to have the privilege to work on the farms of DDO. It will require approximately 99% of the membership of the site. Because the top 1% of the site spends the majority of their time in front of computer and are thus scrawny and weak, they (who by total coincidence comprise the majority of the voters) shall not receive this honor. I will, of course, make exceptions for socialists, theists, statists, and other especially beloved people who I would not so injure. Though the few among you who will not have this honor may be greatly disheartened, due not fret too much: you will be compensated by receiving profit of the agricultural product after expenses are paid. I realize this is a heavy burden, but I will bear the costs with you, which brings me to my next point:

2) For the necessary expenses of the position of Grand Templar Master of Agriculture, I will need approximately 85% of the profits. While this may cut in slightly to the compensation paid to the unfortunate few not working the farms, those that are will, bless them for their fortune, be paid little enough and worked hard enough that a significant profit can be drawn. The amount of the reparations paid to you will be quite sufficient. It is regretful that so much money must be spend on my office, but a Grand Templar Master of Agriculture simply cannot get by without extended vacations abroad, gold-encrusted robes, voluptuous female escorts, a mansion, and other basic comforts.

Thank you for hearing my concerns. It should be obvious to all that this matter is both pressing and urgent. It is your honor and duty as a member of Debate.org to vote Grape as your Grand Templar Master of Agriculture and so save yourselves from indolence, impoverishment, and evil.

I don't get it, though is this about communism? It has the feel of those parodies about communism.
"When he awoke in a tomb three days later he would actually have believed that he rose from the dead" FREEDO about the resurrection of Jesus Christ
Grape
Posts: 989
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4/25/2011 6:51:41 PM
Posted: 5 years ago
At 4/25/2011 6:43:59 PM, vardas0antras wrote:
I don't get it, though is this about communism? It has the feel of those parodies about communism.

Of course this isn't communism, in communism the farmers would share the results of their labor. In this system they give it all to me.
Grape
Posts: 989
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4/25/2011 6:52:16 PM
Posted: 5 years ago
At 4/25/2011 6:47:00 PM, Mirza wrote:
"Grand Templar Master of Agriculture"

You get 99% of the earnings if I can have the title!

Never!
vardas0antras
Posts: 983
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4/25/2011 6:57:14 PM
Posted: 5 years ago
At 4/25/2011 6:51:41 PM, Grape wrote:
At 4/25/2011 6:43:59 PM, vardas0antras wrote:
I don't get it, though is this about communism? It has the feel of those parodies about communism.

Of course this isn't communism, in communism the farmers would share the results of their labor. In this system they give it all to me.

Oh, I missed that part or more correctly, I didn't consider it.
"When he awoke in a tomb three days later he would actually have believed that he rose from the dead" FREEDO about the resurrection of Jesus Christ