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Avoiding Drama on DDO

Kleptin
Posts: 5,095
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5/9/2012 4:58:31 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
Longevity on DDO is not hard to obtain, yet, I see so many of our members posting emotional "Last posts" declaring their intent to leave and listing their grievances. For the most part, these grievances are absurd and are a result of what I perceive to be a faulty understanding of exactly what DDO is.

Follow this algorithm.

1. Overarching rule: Recognize that DDO is social as well as academic

DDO is not that much different from a real life social situation. Whenever you communicate with people, there will always be the same issues of whether or not you accept them, whether or not they accept you, etc. Treat social threads the way you treat normal social interaction. Debate in serious threads in an academic fashion.

2. Create a duality

The good thing about DDO is that it is debate specific. People will present ideas they fear to present in normal social situations and people will argue against you with a force that cannot exist in normal social situations. You want this feedback for your arguments and ideas. You do NOT want to be associated with them as a person.

This is why you must create a duality. Express your ideas thoughtfully and logically, but keep them separate from you as a person. Participate in social threads and give people a chance to see that you have a personality.

Do not allow your ideas and arguments to define you as a person, or people will begin to insult you as a person instead of criticize your arguments.

3. Understand how you present yourself.

It is perfectly normal for people to insult each other and push each other's buttons. It makes things fun.

Understand that some people are excessively sensitive, and acknowledge whether or not you are one of those people. If you can't take the heat, get out of the kitchen. You don't need to take abuse.

On the flip side, if you're dishing it out, be sure that you don't look like too much of a jerk. Make sure you don't go too far, and walk away if you get too emotionally charged.

4. Do not escape from DDO. Escape to it.

If you use DDO as a substitute for an actual social life, you're going to have a bad time :P

You will take drama less seriously if you have a life outside of DDO. DDO used to be my social life when I started, and I left when I realized that DDO meant too much to me. Now that I have an actual social life, I leave all the time. I come on DDO to escape stress from my actual life. That's the way it's supposed to be.

If you take frequent vacations, it also keeps you from immersing yourself in the society of DDO.

The obvious result is that you don't develop longstanding feuds, enemies, or rivalries. However, it also keeps you fresh. It gives you the boldness to submit new ideas to criticism. People have commented that I have troll-like tendencies. What they are describing is the fact that unlike frequent users, I do not have a subconscious voice that tells me how certain ideas will be received. I have made ridiculous topics before, with ridiculous resolutions, defended them staunchly, and I will continue to do so. That's what DDO is supposed to be. If you become too ingrained in the society, you get rusty and useless.
: At 5/2/2010 2:43:54 PM, innomen wrote:
It isn't about finding a theory, philosophy or doctrine and thinking it's the answer, but a practical application of one's experiences that is the answer.

: At 10/28/2010 2:40:07 PM, jharry wrote: I have already been given the greatest Gift that anyone could ever hope for [Life], I would consider myself selfish if I expected anything more.
OberHerr
Posts: 13,062
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5/9/2012 5:01:21 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 5/9/2012 5:00:09 PM, Koopin wrote:
http://oi45.tinypic.com...

O.O

Now, who is that sexy helmeted guy to the left? :P
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Koopin
Posts: 12,090
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5/9/2012 5:05:20 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 5/9/2012 5:04:45 PM, UnStupendousMan wrote:
At 5/9/2012 5:00:09 PM, Koopin wrote:
http://oi45.tinypic.com...

I don't need dollars nor do I need to be saved.

And that's why it's called a joke.
kfc
GeoLaureate8
Posts: 12,252
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5/9/2012 5:33:00 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
DDO has no emotional affect on my real life whatsoever except for perhaps feelings of thrill and intellectual stimulation. I come to the web page and see a bunch of words written by anonymous users, I don't see it as something that has a real social impact or how I view myself.

I'm surprised people take it this seriously and take things to heart. I do think this sure should be taken seriously in done sense, but not in way in which it has social repurcussions.
"We must raise the standard of the Old, free, decentralized, and strictly limited Republic."
-- Murray Rothbard

"The worst thing that can happen to a good cause is, not to be skillfully attacked, but to be ineptly defended."
-- Frederic Bastiat
GeoLaureate8
Posts: 12,252
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5/9/2012 5:34:22 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 5/9/2012 5:33:00 PM, GeoLaureate8 wrote:
DDO has no emotional affect on my real life whatsoever except for perhaps feelings of thrill and intellectual stimulation. I come to the web page and see a bunch of words written by anonymous users, I don't see it as something that has a real social impact or how I view myself.

I'm surprised people take it this seriously and take things to heart. I do think this site should be taken seriously in some sense, but not in way in which it has social repurcussions.

Fix'd.
"We must raise the standard of the Old, free, decentralized, and strictly limited Republic."
-- Murray Rothbard

"The worst thing that can happen to a good cause is, not to be skillfully attacked, but to be ineptly defended."
-- Frederic Bastiat
Kleptin
Posts: 5,095
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5/9/2012 5:53:10 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
If you're THAT disjointed, it's not a good thing either. I don't know about you, but I'm not a robot. I can't help but form relationships with and opinions on other people. Anytime I speak to someone, it's a social interaction in the same vein. Refusing to acknowledge that there's a human component to these discussions *hurts* the intellectual process.
: At 5/2/2010 2:43:54 PM, innomen wrote:
It isn't about finding a theory, philosophy or doctrine and thinking it's the answer, but a practical application of one's experiences that is the answer.

: At 10/28/2010 2:40:07 PM, jharry wrote: I have already been given the greatest Gift that anyone could ever hope for [Life], I would consider myself selfish if I expected anything more.
GeoLaureate8
Posts: 12,252
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5/9/2012 6:00:21 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 5/9/2012 5:53:10 PM, Kleptin wrote:
If you're THAT disjointed, it's not a good thing either. I don't know about you, but I'm not a robot. I can't help but form relationships with and opinions on other people. Anytime I speak to someone, it's a social interaction in the same vein. Refusing to acknowledge that there's a human component to these discussions *hurts* the intellectual process.

Granted. I suppose I misspoke. DDO has no negative emotional affect on me rather. I do enjoy the interactions with the people here and have even friended some on Facebook and one I will be meeting in real life (Vi Veri).
"We must raise the standard of the Old, free, decentralized, and strictly limited Republic."
-- Murray Rothbard

"The worst thing that can happen to a good cause is, not to be skillfully attacked, but to be ineptly defended."
-- Frederic Bastiat
Kleptin
Posts: 5,095
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5/9/2012 6:04:29 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
There we go, that sounds much more likely than you being some automaton XD
: At 5/2/2010 2:43:54 PM, innomen wrote:
It isn't about finding a theory, philosophy or doctrine and thinking it's the answer, but a practical application of one's experiences that is the answer.

: At 10/28/2010 2:40:07 PM, jharry wrote: I have already been given the greatest Gift that anyone could ever hope for [Life], I would consider myself selfish if I expected anything more.
bossyburrito
Posts: 14,075
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5/9/2012 9:11:18 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 5/9/2012 6:00:21 PM, GeoLaureate8 wrote:
At 5/9/2012 5:53:10 PM, Kleptin wrote:
If you're THAT disjointed, it's not a good thing either. I don't know about you, but I'm not a robot. I can't help but form relationships with and opinions on other people. Anytime I speak to someone, it's a social interaction in the same vein. Refusing to acknowledge that there's a human component to these discussions *hurts* the intellectual process.

Granted. I suppose I misspoke. DDO has no negative emotional affect on me rather. I do enjoy the interactions with the people here and have even friended some on Facebook and one I will be meeting in real life (Vi Veri).

This
#UnbanTheMadman

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Or lose the race to rats
Get caught in ticking traps
And start to dream of somewhere
To relax their restless flight
Somewhere out of a memory of lighted streets on quiet nights..."

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ConservativePolitico
Posts: 8,210
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5/9/2012 9:26:23 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
This is actually great advice.

If people read this and take it to heart they'd do better around here.

Honestly, some people take this place too seriously.
tyler90az
Posts: 971
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5/9/2012 10:01:27 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
I like number four the best. If at all possible people should try to have a social life outside of DDO. To me DDO isn't really a get idea to fill your social need with. Although if it is all you have, don't look down on yourself.
Today we begin in earnest the work of making sure that the world we leave our children is just a little bit better than the one we inhabit today. - President Obama
Danielle
Posts: 21,330
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5/9/2012 10:46:47 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 5/9/2012 6:00:21 PM, GeoLaureate8 wrote:
Granted. I suppose I misspoke. DDO has no negative emotional affect on me rather. I do enjoy the interactions with the people here and have even friended some on Facebook and one I will be meeting in real life (Vi Veri).

You will also be meeting my very good friends - people I've known longer than her. Enjoy.

In response to the OP, even though DDO doesn't affect our "real life," we are still real people with real emotions who inevitably react to things. I don't think what happens on DDO should qualify as drama, but it's easy to see how people's stupidity (intellectual or personal) can annoy one to the point of wanting to disengage from this website. However I think closing one's account is a dramatic way of getting attention. If you no longer wish to participate here, then simply don't log in and do so. Otherwise you will inevitably have people wondering why you left rather than making a seamless transition out. It's also less embarrassing for when you inevitably return.
President of DDO
Danielle
Posts: 21,330
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5/9/2012 10:48:42 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 5/9/2012 6:04:08 PM, Mirza wrote:
I will be meeting in real life (Vi Veri).
Luckiest man in the world.

You only like her because her family's (barely) Muslim.

If Geo's lucky because he gets to meet her, what am I... I've slept with her for 3 years. Woot.
President of DDO
baggins
Posts: 855
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5/10/2012 1:09:37 AM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 5/9/2012 4:58:31 PM, Kleptin wrote:
Longevity on DDO is not hard to obtain, yet, I see so many of our members posting emotional "Last posts" declaring their intent to leave and listing their grievances. For the most part, these grievances are absurd and are a result of what I perceive to be a faulty understanding of exactly what DDO is.

Follow this algorithm.

1. Overarching rule: Recognize that DDO is social as well as academic

DDO is not that much different from a real life social situation. Whenever you communicate with people, there will always be the same issues of whether or not you accept them, whether or not they accept you, etc. Treat social threads the way you treat normal social interaction. Debate in serious threads in an academic fashion.

2. Create a duality

The good thing about DDO is that it is debate specific. People will present ideas they fear to present in normal social situations and people will argue against you with a force that cannot exist in normal social situations. You want this feedback for your arguments and ideas. You do NOT want to be associated with them as a person.

This is why you must create a duality. Express your ideas thoughtfully and logically, but keep them separate from you as a person. Participate in social threads and give people a chance to see that you have a personality.

Do not allow your ideas and arguments to define you as a person, or people will begin to insult you as a person instead of criticize your arguments.

3. Understand how you present yourself.

It is perfectly normal for people to insult each other and push each other's buttons. It makes things fun.

Understand that some people are excessively sensitive, and acknowledge whether or not you are one of those people. If you can't take the heat, get out of the kitchen. You don't need to take abuse.

On the flip side, if you're dishing it out, be sure that you don't look like too much of a jerk. Make sure you don't go too far, and walk away if you get too emotionally charged.

4. Do not escape from DDO. Escape to it.

If you use DDO as a substitute for an actual social life, you're going to have a bad time :P

You will take drama less seriously if you have a life outside of DDO. DDO used to be my social life when I started, and I left when I realized that DDO meant too much to me. Now that I have an actual social life, I leave all the time. I come on DDO to escape stress from my actual life. That's the way it's supposed to be.

If you take frequent vacations, it also keeps you from immersing yourself in the society of DDO.

The obvious result is that you don't develop longstanding feuds, enemies, or rivalries. However, it also keeps you fresh. It gives you the boldness to submit new ideas to criticism. People have commented that I have troll-like tendencies. What they are describing is the fact that unlike frequent users, I do not have a subconscious voice that tells me how certain ideas will be received. I have made ridiculous topics before, with ridiculous resolutions, defended them staunchly, and I will continue to do so. That's what DDO is supposed to be. If you become too ingrained in the society, you get rusty and useless.

Agree with the post completely. 2 and 3 are important in real life also.

I think DDO mirrors life. However with one crucial difference. On DDO people can be anonymous. There is no significant repercussion for being abusive or irritating. In fact, if someone likes attention, there is incentive in being abusive and irritating. This is part of the reason why the environment is unfriendly to many people.
The Holy Quran 29:19-20

See they not how Allah originates creation, then repeats it: truly that is easy for Allah.

Say: "Travel through the earth and see how Allah did originate creation; so will Allah produce a later creation: for Allah has power over all things.
Ren
Posts: 7,102
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5/10/2012 9:06:07 AM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 5/9/2012 6:00:21 PM, GeoLaureate8 wrote:
At 5/9/2012 5:53:10 PM, Kleptin wrote:
If you're THAT disjointed, it's not a good thing either. I don't know about you, but I'm not a robot. I can't help but form relationships with and opinions on other people. Anytime I speak to someone, it's a social interaction in the same vein. Refusing to acknowledge that there's a human component to these discussions *hurts* the intellectual process.

Granted. I suppose I misspoke. DDO has no negative emotional affect on me rather. I do enjoy the interactions with the people here and have even friended some on Facebook and one I will be meeting in real life (Vi Veri).

???

Danielle made it sound as though you'd be meeting her, too...

...making your way to the East Coast in the near future?

You're not afraid of Brooklyn, are you? :3
Danielle
Posts: 21,330
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5/10/2012 11:01:51 AM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 5/10/2012 9:23:47 AM, Ren wrote:
No... of course -- they're visiting Vegas.

I'll bet that's what's happening.

I'm not going :P She and my friends are.
President of DDO
Ren
Posts: 7,102
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5/10/2012 11:04:03 AM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 5/10/2012 11:01:51 AM, Danielle wrote:
At 5/10/2012 9:23:47 AM, Ren wrote:
No... of course -- they're visiting Vegas.

I'll bet that's what's happening.

I'm not going :P She and my friends are.

Oh. Everyone but you, eh?

You're a pretty good sport about it. ^_^
PARADIGM_L0ST
Posts: 6,958
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5/10/2012 11:28:05 AM
Posted: 4 years ago
I'm surprised people take it this seriously and take things to heart. I do think this sure should be taken seriously in done sense, but not in way in which it has social repurcussions.:

Yeah, I hear you, but I think this is partly due to the age of the people. They're emotionally more fragile by virtue of their age. Of those who are older, I dare say there a lot more than what is seen on the surface level, as in being mentally unstable. Seems silly to you and me, just like high school drama was back then in retrospect. People would get all kinds of upset over really trivial things, but back then it seemed like a big deal.

I suppose I'm being too hard on some of them, but believe me that I have the same visceral reaction you do.
"Have you ever considered suicide? If not, please do." -- Mouthwash (to Inferno)
GeoLaureate8
Posts: 12,252
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5/10/2012 11:49:07 AM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 5/10/2012 9:23:47 AM, Ren wrote:
No... of course -- they're visiting Vegas.

Yes, for EDC.
"We must raise the standard of the Old, free, decentralized, and strictly limited Republic."
-- Murray Rothbard

"The worst thing that can happen to a good cause is, not to be skillfully attacked, but to be ineptly defended."
-- Frederic Bastiat
GeoLaureate8
Posts: 12,252
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5/10/2012 11:49:55 AM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 5/10/2012 11:01:51 AM, Danielle wrote:
At 5/10/2012 9:23:47 AM, Ren wrote:
No... of course -- they're visiting Vegas.

I'll bet that's what's happening.

I'm not going :P She and my friends are.

Why not? Youre still cool with her right?
"We must raise the standard of the Old, free, decentralized, and strictly limited Republic."
-- Murray Rothbard

"The worst thing that can happen to a good cause is, not to be skillfully attacked, but to be ineptly defended."
-- Frederic Bastiat
SuburbiaSurvivor
Posts: 872
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5/10/2012 2:31:06 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 5/9/2012 4:58:31 PM, Kleptin wrote:
Longevity on DDO is not hard to obtain, yet, I see so many of our members posting emotional "Last posts" declaring their intent to leave and listing their grievances. For the most part, these grievances are absurd and are a result of what I perceive to be a faulty understanding of exactly what DDO is.

Follow this algorithm.

1. Overarching rule: Recognize that DDO is social as well as academic

DDO is not that much different from a real life social situation. Whenever you communicate with people, there will always be the same issues of whether or not you accept them, whether or not they accept you, etc. Treat social threads the way you treat normal social interaction. Debate in serious threads in an academic fashion.

2. Create a duality

The good thing about DDO is that it is debate specific. People will present ideas they fear to present in normal social situations and people will argue against you with a force that cannot exist in normal social situations. You want this feedback for your arguments and ideas. You do NOT want to be associated with them as a person.

This is why you must create a duality. Express your ideas thoughtfully and logically, but keep them separate from you as a person. Participate in social threads and give people a chance to see that you have a personality.

Do not allow your ideas and arguments to define you as a person, or people will begin to insult you as a person instead of criticize your arguments.

3. Understand how you present yourself.

It is perfectly normal for people to insult each other and push each other's buttons. It makes things fun.

Understand that some people are excessively sensitive, and acknowledge whether or not you are one of those people. If you can't take the heat, get out of the kitchen. You don't need to take abuse.

On the flip side, if you're dishing it out, be sure that you don't look like too much of a jerk. Make sure you don't go too far, and walk away if you get too emotionally charged.

4. Do not escape from DDO. Escape to it.

If you use DDO as a substitute for an actual social life, you're going to have a bad time :P

You will take drama less seriously if you have a life outside of DDO. DDO used to be my social life when I started, and I left when I realized that DDO meant too much to me. Now that I have an actual social life, I leave all the time. I come on DDO to escape stress from my actual life. That's the way it's supposed to be.

If you take frequent vacations, it also keeps you from immersing yourself in the society of DDO.

The obvious result is that you don't develop longstanding feuds, enemies, or rivalries. However, it also keeps you fresh. It gives you the boldness to submit new ideas to criticism. People have commented that I have troll-like tendencies. What they are describing is the fact that unlike frequent users, I do not have a subconscious voice that tells me how certain ideas will be received. I have made ridiculous topics before, with ridiculous resolutions, defended them staunchly, and I will continue to do so. That's what DDO is supposed to be. If you become too ingrained in the society, you get rusty and useless.

I agree 100% with this post.

This is what I like about debating. I disagree with Kleptin's worldview almost 100%, but I can still find things about him that I admire or respect. That's another aspect to debating.
"I'm going to tell you something that you're never going to forget, SuburbiaSurvivor. Women... Are just human beings"
Jon1
Posts: 314
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5/12/2012 1:12:10 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 5/10/2012 1:04:53 AM, Cody_Franklin wrote:
Two counterpoints, Kleptin:

1. Hi. :)

2. I like to stir the drama pot for funsies. wat do?

Could you present this argument in bullet-points, please?