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yo momma jokes

sophisticatedhonesty
Posts: 7
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3/8/2013 11:40:11 AM
Posted: 3 years ago
Yo mama is so ugly that when she went to a beautician it took 12 hours... to get a quote!
Yo mama is so ugly that she looked out the window and got arrested for mooning.
Yo mama is so ugly that people go as her for Halloween.
Yo mama is so ugly that she turned Medusa to stone!
Yo mama is so ugly that the government moved Halloween to her birthday!
Yo mama is so ugly that she scares the roaches away.
Yo mama is so ugly that... well... look at you!
Yo mama is so ugly that when she looks in the mirror, the reflection looks back and shakes its head.
Yo mama is so ugly that she looks like she's been in a dryer filled with rocks.
Yo mama is so ugly that she makes blind children cry.
Yo mama is so ugly that she climbed the ugly ladder and didn't miss a step.
Yo mama is so ugly that the last time I saw something that looked like her, I pinned a tail on it.
Yo mama is so ugly that we put her in the kennel when we go on vacation.
Yo mama is so ugly that her shadow ran away from her.
Yo mama is so ugly that she could scare the flies off a shi+ wagon.
Yo mama is so ugly that her birth certificate contained an apology letter from the condom factory.
Yo mama is so ugly that that your father takes her to work with him so that he doesn't have to kiss her goodbye.
Yo mama is so ugly that she tried to take a bath and the water jumped out!
Yo mama is so ugly that when she walks down the street in September, people say "Wow, is it Halloween already?"
Yo mama is so ugly that her mom had to be drunk to breast feed her.
Yo mama is so ugly that when she walks into a bank, they turn off the surveillence cameras.
Yo mama is so ugly that they didn't give her a costume when she auditioned for Star Wars.
Yo mama is so ugly that even Rice Krispies won't talk to her!
Yo mama is so ugly that when she joined an ugly contest, they said "Sorry, no professionals."
Yo mama is so ugly that that when she sits in the sand on the beach, cats try to bury her.
Yo mama is so ugly that when she drove past area 51, she was thought to be extraterrestrial life. They took her away never to be seen again.
Yo mama is so ugly that they pay her to put her clothes on in strip joints
Yo mama is so ugly that you have to tie a steak around her neck so the dog will play with her!
Yo mama is so ugly that just after she was born, her mother said "What a treasure!" and her father said "Yes, let's go bury it."
Yo mama is so ugly that she made an onion cry!
Yo mama is so ugly that when I last saw a mouth like hers, it had a hook in it.
Yo mama is so ugly that she gets 364 extra days to dress up for Halloween!
Yo mama is so ugly that they push her face into dough to make gorilla cookies.
Yo mama is so ugly that when she goes to the therapist, he makes her lie on the couch face down.
Yo mama is so ugly that she gives Freddy Kreuger nightmares.
Yo mama is so ugly that when she walks in the kitchen, the rats jump on the table and start screaming.
Yo mama is so ugly that even Bill Clinton wouldn't sleep with her.
Yo mama is so ugly that when she was born, the doctor slapped her AND her parents!
Yo mama is so ugly that she didn't get hit with the ugly stick, she got hit by the whole d@m* tree.
Yo mama is so ugly that she has 7 years bad luck just trying to look at herself in the mirror.
Yo mama is so ugly that she practices birth control by leaving the lights on.
Yo mama is so ugly that she threw a boomerang and it wouldn't even come back.
Yo mama is so ugly that she'd scare the monster out of Loch Ness.
Yo mama is so ugly that it looks like she's been bobbing for french fries.
Yo mama is so ugly that her pillow cries at night.
Yo mama is so ugly that people at the circus pay money not to see her.
Yo mama is so ugly that when she looks in the mirror it says "viewer discretion is advised."
Yo mama is so ugly that she can look up a camel's butt and scare the hump off of it.
Yo mama is so ugly that when she moved into the projects, all her neighbors chipped in for curtains.
Yo mama is so ugly that people hang her picture in their cars so their radios don't get stolen.
Yo mama is so ugly that I took her to a haunted house and she came out with a job application.
Yo mama is so ugly that if she was a scarecrow, the corn would run away.
Yo mama is so ugly that she could be the poster child for birth control.
Yo mama is so ugly that I took her to the zoo, guy at the door said "Thanks for bringing her back."
Yo mama is so ugly that when she went to Taco Bell everyone ran for the border.
Yo mama is so ugly that she's never seen herself 'cause the mirrors keep breaking.
Yo mama is so ugly that it looks like someone did the stanky leg dance on her face.
Yo mama is so ugly that when she was born she was put in an incubator with tinted windows.
Yo mama is so ugly that she put the Boogie Man out of business!
Yo mama is so ugly that she made Barack Obama lose hope!
Yo mama was such an ugly baby that her parents had to feed her with a slingshot.
imabench
Posts: 21,206
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3/8/2013 11:43:06 AM
Posted: 3 years ago
hey idiot, put this in the 'funny' forum not the main forum.....
Kevin24018 : "He's just so mean it makes me want to ball up my fists and stamp on the ground"

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FrackJack
Posts: 1,392
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3/8/2013 11:47:28 AM
Posted: 3 years ago
At 3/8/2013 11:43:06 AM, imabench wrote:
hey dolt, put this in the 'funny' forum not the main forum.....

inb4 banned.
: At 8/8/2013 6:15:09 PM, AnDoctuir wrote:
: The idiots are rebelling.

http://i.imgur.com...
Zaradi
Posts: 14,124
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3/8/2013 11:57:13 AM
Posted: 3 years ago
At 3/8/2013 11:43:06 AM, imabench wrote:
hey idiot, put this in the 'funny' forum not the main forum.....

Doesn't belong there either. That would presume that these jokes were funny.
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bossyburrito
Posts: 14,075
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3/8/2013 12:02:21 PM
Posted: 3 years ago
At 3/8/2013 11:47:28 AM, FrackJack wrote:
At 3/8/2013 11:43:06 AM, imabench wrote:
hey dolt, put this in the 'funny' forum not the main forum.....

inb4 banned.

I'm guessing the Mod worked his powers on the post?
#UnbanTheMadman

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Or lose the race to rats
Get caught in ticking traps
And start to dream of somewhere
To relax their restless flight
Somewhere out of a memory of lighted streets on quiet nights..."

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Heineken
Posts: 1,230
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3/8/2013 12:25:18 PM
Posted: 3 years ago
1.> Yo momma so fat, her high school picture was taken by Google Earth.
2.> Yo momma so stupid, she sold her car for gas money.
3.> Yo momma so desperate, Imabench has a shot with her.
4.> Yo momma so low-information voter, she believed Obama when he said: "You didn't build that!"
5.> Yo momma so dumb, she thought Nelson Mandela played Lucius in Batman.
6.> Yo momma so nasty, she made Speed Stick slow down.
7.> Yo momma so gassy, her carbon footprint be like:"F**k this sh*t."
8.> Yo momma so fat, lesser mommas orbit around her.
.
Vidi, vici, veni.
(I saw, I conquered, I came.)
Zaradi
Posts: 14,124
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3/8/2013 12:29:56 PM
Posted: 3 years ago
At 3/8/2013 12:25:18 PM, Heineken wrote:
3.> Yo momma so desperate, Imabench has a shot with

First funny yo mamma joke I've ever heard.
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