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DDO's Third Party Candidate: MassiveDump.

MassiveDump
Posts: 3,423
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11/30/2013 8:27:13 PM
Posted: 3 years ago
Hello, friends.

It has come to my attention that Debate.org, my beloved home; my cherished family, is in a time of struggling. Voting activity remains at an all-time low, the new members are not remaining active, and the forum post count is consistently declining. I have come to realize that only I, the superior being of the community, have the ability to bring Debate.org back to its former glory.

I have been told before, time and time again, that I am not a capable leader. And every time I am told that, I reply with, "Shut up, ClassicRobert." So, to prove that I am as able as I say I am, I present to you, my friends, with the plan I intend to mandate, which will revive my beloved home, DDO.

The Fourteen Points of Debate.org
(Historical reference. If you don't get it, you are a terrorist.)

Chapter One: Appearance

1. Whereas changing a website's color has proven to be the only efficient method of growing an audience, I will turn Debate.org purple. It's not my first choice for a color, but it is a sacrifice that must be made.

Chapter Two: The Debate Section

2. To increase the vote count on debates, I will make the ballots simpler with these questions and their respective point values: "Who do you agree with?" Three points. "Who pasted the most links?" Two points. "Who used charts and Youtube videos?" One point, and "Who said, 'Vote Pro!/Con!' more often?" One point.

3. To increase the vote count, I will disable all voting requirements. Everyone can vote now. If they made separate accounts in order to win, then maybe you should, too. After all, more fake accounts, more site views.

4. To avoid clutter, I will move the debate section link to the bottom of the home page, so that there will be more room for polls.

5. To simplify, Spots on the leaderboard, as opposed to "Elo," will go back to whoever has the most wins.

6. If vote counts go below a private set quota which I have set myself, I will remove the debate section entirely.

Chapter Three: Forums

7. To eliminate clutter, "Mafia" will be a bannable offense.

8. To avoid drama, all DDO video series will be cancelled.

9. To make sure news is received, I will make sure that all important things will take up the front page of every forum, as stickies.

10. I will bring back qopel. Because f*ck you.

Chapter Four: New Sections

11. To avoid all the complications and commitment of real debates, I will add the "State Your Stupid Beliefs and then Run Off Like a B!tch" section, where people can simply state their stupid beliefs and run off like a b!tch.

12. To make sure everyone knows what's on my mind, I will add a "Juggle: what we want" section. Not looking at it twice daily will be a bannable offense.

13. To increase ponies, I will add a "My Little Pony" section. You can do whatever you want there, but if it's not about My Little Pony, you will be banned.

Chapter Five: Miscellaneous, Insignificant Changes

14. I will shut down the site in four months.
MassiveDump
Posts: 3,423
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11/30/2013 8:57:49 PM
Posted: 3 years ago
At 11/30/2013 8:29:53 PM, Ore_Ele wrote:
How will you ensure point 14?

I will send a carefully worded letter explaining to Juggle why the site should be shut down, and if that doesn't work, I will destroy the internet.
MassiveDump
Posts: 3,423
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11/30/2013 9:15:29 PM
Posted: 3 years ago
At 11/30/2013 8:53:15 PM, airmax1227 wrote:
It's clear that I can't beat this platform... so I'm convinced, I wont seek another term.

Oh, the timing of that was so beautiful :')
airmax1227
Posts: 13,245
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11/30/2013 9:19:17 PM
Posted: 3 years ago
At 11/30/2013 9:15:29 PM, MassiveDump wrote:
At 11/30/2013 8:53:15 PM, airmax1227 wrote:
It's clear that I can't beat this platform... so I'm convinced, I wont seek another term.

Oh, the timing of that was so beautiful :')

haha well a good platform is tough to beat ;)
Debate.org Moderator
ClassicRobert
Posts: 2,487
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11/30/2013 10:56:11 PM
Posted: 3 years ago
At 11/30/2013 8:27:13 PM, MassiveDump wrote:
Hello, friends.


I have been told before, time and time again, that I am not a capable leader. And every time I am told that, I reply with, "Shut up, ClassicRobert." So, to prove that I am as able as I say I am, I present to you, my friends, with the plan I intend to mandate, which will revive my beloved home, DDO.

No, you shut up.
Debate me: Economic decision theory should be adjusted to include higher-order preferences for non-normative purposes http://www.debate.org...

Do you really believe that? Or not? If you believe it, you should man up and defend it in a debate. -RoyLatham

My Pet Fish is such a Douche- NiamC

It's an app to meet friends and stuff, sort of like an adult club penguin- Thett3, describing Tinder
airmax1227
Posts: 13,245
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11/30/2013 10:57:20 PM
Posted: 3 years ago
At 11/30/2013 10:52:20 PM, MassiveDump wrote:
Due to my confidence in being a great leader, I respectfully bump.

You are truly a man of action and forward thinking leadership.

I will take questions now.

I keep hitting the Tab key on my keyboard without getting any Tab... is my computer broken, or do I need to replenish my computer's Tab supplies manually?
Debate.org Moderator
YYW
Posts: 36,394
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11/30/2013 11:21:48 PM
Posted: 3 years ago
At 11/30/2013 8:27:13 PM, MassiveDump wrote:
Hello, friends.

It has come to my attention that Debate.org, my beloved home; my cherished family, is in a time of struggling. Voting activity remains at an all-time low, the new members are not remaining active, and the forum post count is consistently declining. I have come to realize that only I, the superior being of the community, have the ability to bring Debate.org back to its former glory.

I have been told before, time and time again, that I am not a capable leader. And every time I am told that, I reply with, "Shut up, ClassicRobert." So, to prove that I am as able as I say I am, I present to you, my friends, with the plan I intend to mandate, which will revive my beloved home, DDO.

The Fourteen Points of Debate.org
(Historical reference. If you don't get it, you are a terrorist.)

Chapter One: Appearance

1. Whereas changing a website's color has proven to be the only efficient method of growing an audience, I will turn Debate.org purple. It's not my first choice for a color, but it is a sacrifice that must be made.

Chapter Two: The Debate Section

2. To increase the vote count on debates, I will make the ballots simpler with these questions and their respective point values: "Who do you agree with?" Three points. "Who pasted the most links?" Two points. "Who used charts and Youtube videos?" One point, and "Who said, 'Vote Pro!/Con!' more often?" One point.

3. To increase the vote count, I will disable all voting requirements. Everyone can vote now. If they made separate accounts in order to win, then maybe you should, too. After all, more fake accounts, more site views.

4. To avoid clutter, I will move the debate section link to the bottom of the home page, so that there will be more room for polls.

5. To simplify, Spots on the leaderboard, as opposed to "Elo," will go back to whoever has the most wins.

6. If vote counts go below a private set quota which I have set myself, I will remove the debate section entirely.

Chapter Three: Forums

7. To eliminate clutter, "Mafia" will be a bannable offense.

8. To avoid drama, all DDO video series will be cancelled.

9. To make sure news is received, I will make sure that all important things will take up the front page of every forum, as stickies.

10. I will bring back qopel. Because f*ck you.

Best. Reason. Ever.

Chapter Four: New Sections

11. To avoid all the complications and commitment of real debates, I will add the "State Your Stupid Beliefs and then Run Off Like a B!tch" section, where people can simply state their stupid beliefs and run off like a b!tch.

12. To make sure everyone knows what's on my mind, I will add a "Juggle: what we want" section. Not looking at it twice daily will be a bannable offense.

13. To increase ponies, I will add a "My Little Pony" section. You can do whatever you want there, but if it's not about My Little Pony, you will be banned.

Chapter Five: Miscellaneous, Insignificant Changes

14. I will shut down the site in four months.

Taking your electoral cues from North Korea?
Tsar of DDO
Sargon
Posts: 524
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11/30/2013 11:52:50 PM
Posted: 3 years ago
At 11/30/2013 11:52:11 PM, YYW wrote:
At 11/30/2013 11:32:43 PM, Sargon wrote:
Can gingers even run for President?

Yes.

Thanks Obama.
YYW
Posts: 36,394
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11/30/2013 11:59:22 PM
Posted: 3 years ago
At 11/30/2013 11:52:50 PM, Sargon wrote:
At 11/30/2013 11:52:11 PM, YYW wrote:
At 11/30/2013 11:32:43 PM, Sargon wrote:
Can gingers even run for President?

Yes.

Thanks Obama.

*reads teleprompter*

You know, anything I can do. I really try. Sometime's it works out. Sometimes it's on me.

*teleprompter ends*
Tsar of DDO
yay842
Posts: 5,680
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12/1/2013 12:00:59 AM
Posted: 3 years ago
I have a few questions:

1. Are you f*cking serious on points 1-14?
2. How do you sleep at night?
3. When will the government shutdown commence?
4. For points 1-19, how will you make this possible?
5. What is your favorite color?
6. Do you have TNT available?
30 Important Life Lessons
http://www.debate.org...
20 Terrifying Two-Sentence Horrors
http://www.debate.org...
20 Jokes That Only Geniuses Will Understand
http://www.debate.org...
Name One Song That Can't Match This GIF
http://d24w6bsrhbeh9d.cloudfront.net...
YYW
Posts: 36,394
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12/1/2013 12:03:09 AM
Posted: 3 years ago
At 12/1/2013 12:00:59 AM, yay842 wrote:
I have a few questions:

As MD's unofficial spokesman, I felt obliged to answer.

1. Are you f*cking serious on points 1-14?

Obviously.

2. How do you sleep at night?

He probably sleeps comfortably... next to your mom.

3. When will the government shutdown commence?

Soon.

4. For points 1-19, how will you make this possible?

You've just gotta' believe.

5. What is your favorite color?

Heroin.

6. Do you have TNT available?

Naturally.
Tsar of DDO
imabench
Posts: 21,230
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12/1/2013 12:05:17 AM
Posted: 3 years ago
At 12/1/2013 12:03:09 AM, YYW wrote:
At 12/1/2013 12:00:59 AM, yay842 wrote:

5. What is your favorite color?

Heroin.

I like that kind of honesty!
Kevin24018 : "He's just so mean it makes me want to ball up my fists and stamp on the ground"
Geogeer: "Nobody is dumb enough to become my protege."

7/14/16 = The Presidency Dies

DDO: THE MOVIE = http://www.debate.org...
http://www.debate.org...

VP of DDO from Dec 14th 2014 to Jan 1st 2015
yay842
Posts: 5,680
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12/1/2013 12:14:21 AM
Posted: 3 years ago
Follow-up questions:

1. Does the massive dump of MassiveDump's massive dump actually a massive dump?
2. What will be your first course of action if you become President?
30 Important Life Lessons
http://www.debate.org...
20 Terrifying Two-Sentence Horrors
http://www.debate.org...
20 Jokes That Only Geniuses Will Understand
http://www.debate.org...
Name One Song That Can't Match This GIF
http://d24w6bsrhbeh9d.cloudfront.net...
YYW
Posts: 36,394
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12/1/2013 12:19:33 AM
Posted: 3 years ago
At 12/1/2013 12:14:21 AM, yay842 wrote:
Follow-up questions:

1. Does the massive dump of MassiveDump's massive dump actually a massive dump?

No, it's a giant motherfvcking turducken...

OF COURSS IT'S A MASSIVE DUMP!

2. What will be your first course of action if you become President?

Bring back Qopel, because fvck you.
Tsar of DDO
Noumena
Posts: 6,047
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12/1/2013 12:50:07 AM
Posted: 3 years ago
At 11/30/2013 11:59:22 PM, YYW wrote:
At 11/30/2013 11:52:50 PM, Sargon wrote:
At 11/30/2013 11:52:11 PM, YYW wrote:
At 11/30/2013 11:32:43 PM, Sargon wrote:
Can gingers even run for President?

Yes.

Thanks Obama.

*reads teleprompter*

You know, anything I can do. I really try. Sometime's it works out. Sometimes it's on me.

*teleprompter ends*

Perfect.
: At 5/13/2014 7:05:20 PM, Crescendo wrote:
: The difference is that the gay movement is currently pushing their will on Churches, as shown in the link to gay marriage in Denmark. Meanwhile, the Inquisition ended several centuries ago.
Noumena
Posts: 6,047
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12/1/2013 12:50:49 AM
Posted: 3 years ago
I'll vote for you if you let us keep mafia. Do what you want with the rest of the place.
: At 5/13/2014 7:05:20 PM, Crescendo wrote:
: The difference is that the gay movement is currently pushing their will on Churches, as shown in the link to gay marriage in Denmark. Meanwhile, the Inquisition ended several centuries ago.
MassiveDump
Posts: 3,423
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12/1/2013 9:45:09 AM
Posted: 3 years ago
At 11/30/2013 10:57:20 PM, airmax1227 wrote:
At 11/30/2013 10:52:20 PM, MassiveDump wrote:
Due to my confidence in being a great leader, I respectfully bump.

You are truly a man of action and forward thinking leadership.

I will take questions now.

I keep hitting the Tab key on my keyboard without getting any Tab... is my computer broken, or do I need to replenish my computer's Tab supplies manually?

It's God punishing you for not running for another term.
MassiveDump
Posts: 3,423
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12/1/2013 9:46:36 AM
Posted: 3 years ago
At 12/1/2013 12:00:59 AM, yay842 wrote:
I have a few questions:

1. Are you f*cking serious on points 1-14?
Yep.
2. How do you sleep at night?
With a pillow.
3. When will the government shutdown commence?
See point 14.
4. For points 1-19, how will you make this possible?
There's only fourteen.
5. What is your favorite color?
Blue.
6. Do you have TNT available?
Duh.
MassiveDump
Posts: 3,423
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12/1/2013 9:47:11 AM
Posted: 3 years ago
At 12/1/2013 12:50:49 AM, Noumena wrote:
I'll vote for you if you let us keep mafia. Do what you want with the rest of the place.

If you submit a letter to my office, I will consider it.
Noumena
Posts: 6,047
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12/1/2013 10:36:55 AM
Posted: 3 years ago
At 12/1/2013 9:47:11 AM, MassiveDump wrote:
At 12/1/2013 12:50:49 AM, Noumena wrote:
I'll vote for you if you let us keep mafia. Do what you want with the rest of the place.

If you submit a letter to my office, I will consider it.

I'm ginger. Do what I say.
: At 5/13/2014 7:05:20 PM, Crescendo wrote:
: The difference is that the gay movement is currently pushing their will on Churches, as shown in the link to gay marriage in Denmark. Meanwhile, the Inquisition ended several centuries ago.
MassiveDump
Posts: 3,423
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12/1/2013 11:33:23 AM
Posted: 3 years ago
At 12/1/2013 10:36:55 AM, Noumena wrote:
At 12/1/2013 9:47:11 AM, MassiveDump wrote:
At 12/1/2013 12:50:49 AM, Noumena wrote:
I'll vote for you if you let us keep mafia. Do what you want with the rest of the place.

If you submit a letter to my office, I will consider it.

I'm ginger. Do what I say.

Because of that, your letter can be 4000 characters shorter.
MassiveDump
Posts: 3,423
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12/1/2013 11:34:01 AM
Posted: 3 years ago
At 12/1/2013 10:59:02 AM, Cermank wrote:
Would the benevolent dictator (may peace be upon his soul) prefer running with a Vice president?

I have not announced a vice president yet, but rest assured there will be one.