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DDO Fanfic: Knights of the Round Debatable

ClassicRobert
Posts: 2,487
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4/3/2014 3:19:58 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
It was a dark and stormy night, and there was silence. King ClassicRobert was outraged, and the Knights of the Round Debatable were frightened. They had never seen him so angry. To Raisor in particular, it was shocking to see the frown on his handsome king's face, who he had come to admire dearly as a mentor, almost as a father figure. Thett3 rushed to rub Raisor's shoulders to calm him down, but Raisor wanted nothing to do with Thett3's mancrush. Thett3 backed into the corner, unwilling to face the snickers of the other knights, Zaradi and Bsh1, who were whispering and pointing at the guy who was "too gay to function." Zaradi said, "There must be something we can do. This can't be the end." ClassicRobert shot back, "Do you even know what I'm going through? Now I'll never get to see Mikal's hot fiance!"

*Flashback earlier that afternoon*

King ClassicRobert's sexy page Jopo walked up to knock on the king's door. She hesitated. Though she knew that he wouldn't be mad at her, she was always eager to please, and she had a guest that she knew he would not be fond of. He was quite possibly the most obnoxious person in the kingdom of Ddoia, but he bore an important message that her beloved king needed to hear. She knocked on the door, and the King opened.

"I've got a message for you. HITCHSLAPPED!!!! VOTE CON!!!!! THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!"

"Seriously Jopo, you bring me this guy? I was having a nice day."

"I'm sorry sir, he insisted that he..."

"You're no longer invited to Mikal's wedding. HITCHSLAPPED!!!!! VOTE CON!!!!! THANK YOU!!!!!!!"

Jopo, suddenly frightened, looked at her king. His brow was furrowed, his muscles were tight, and his teeth appeared to be grinding together. His expression reminded her of a tiger about to pounce on its prey. Then, out of nowhere, the king whipped out his sword and chopped the messenger's head clean off with one blow. After that, Jopo heard a phrase muttered under the breath of King ClassicRobert. To this day, she still does not know exactly what it was that he said, but she believes he said, "Hitchslapped."

*Back to the present*

The Knights of the Round Debatable were at a loss for words. They still could not even begin to comprehend the severity of the situation, that they were longer invited to the wedding. Zaradi had held high hopes of hooking up with one of the bridesmaids. Bsh1 expected to get the phone number of one of Mikal's friends. Raisor... well, nobody really knew what Raisor's plan was. He was going to be wearing a mask to the wedding, or something. Thett3 spoke up, "Why target us? Usually, Mikal only crushes the hopes and dreams of those who are already weak and helpless." King ClassicRobert responded, "Who can guess what his motive was? The best we can do is move on with our lives." Zaradi responded slyly, "I think I can get us in. I've got a plan."

*Two months later*

Jopo wondered why the king had asked her to cut his hair and the hair of the knights. No matter. Regardless of the reason, she was happy to serve the king. Maybe if she obeyed the king more readily, he would grow to love her back... That's ridiculous. Jopo decided that she needed to get those thoughts out of her head... but she could always dream.

****************************************

Mikal was having a rough day, but isn't a wedding always a rough day for those involved? There was a lot of preparation involved. He needed to keep his lackeys at bay, he needed to make sure his best man TUF was happy, and he needed to protect his soon-to-be wife from the prying eyes of ClassicRobert. He almost started to regret his decision to rescind his invitation to King ClassicRobert and the Knights of the Round Debatable, but then he remembered how awkward he was in the google hangout that one night. Totally awkward. At one point, he said something that could have gotten Mikal in trouble with his fiance. Not cool. No matter, that was in the past. Mikal was sure that there would be no hard feelings. He was starting to calm down a little bit. Then RoyLatham, Mikal's new servant, ran into the room. "Sir, we have a problem." Mikal ran out to the front to see six bald men. Mikal, clearly confused, shouted, "WHICH ONE IS THE REAL TUF?" Every one of them then went on to proclaim that they were the real TUF, but Mikal couldn't tell which one was telling the truth. They were all bald, after all. This might be the toughest thing he'd ever had to do. That and debate someone who's actually decent, that is.

Ding dong, ding dong

Oh no. Mikal's wedding was beginning. He needed to get moving. He didn't have time to think anymore, so he brought all of the bald men to the front with him, and they all served as his best men.

*The next day*

"Can you not talk so loud? My head hurts." It was a fun night of partying. Everybody was dancing, the food was phenomenal, and music was good. Zaradi hooked up with the bridesmaid, Bsh1 got the phone number, Raisor did whatever it was he went there for, and Thett3 had a great time admiring Raisor. Zaradi asked, "King ClassicRobert, was it worth it?" And ClassicRobert responded, "Yeah, Mikal's wife is totally hot."
Debate me: Economic decision theory should be adjusted to include higher-order preferences for non-normative purposes http://www.debate.org...

Do you really believe that? Or not? If you believe it, you should man up and defend it in a debate. -RoyLatham

My Pet Fish is such a Douche- NiamC

It's an app to meet friends and stuff, sort of like an adult club penguin- Thett3, describing Tinder
ClassicRobert
Posts: 2,487
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4/3/2014 3:20:23 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
I decided I wanted this to have its own thread.
Debate me: Economic decision theory should be adjusted to include higher-order preferences for non-normative purposes http://www.debate.org...

Do you really believe that? Or not? If you believe it, you should man up and defend it in a debate. -RoyLatham

My Pet Fish is such a Douche- NiamC

It's an app to meet friends and stuff, sort of like an adult club penguin- Thett3, describing Tinder
ClassicRobert
Posts: 2,487
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4/3/2014 3:33:20 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 4/3/2014 3:32:21 PM, Mikal wrote:
At 4/3/2014 3:20:23 PM, ClassicRobert wrote:
I decided I wanted this to have its own thread.

bodied

hail the one true king

http://www.debate.org...

Haha that's why I put Roy as your servant.
Debate me: Economic decision theory should be adjusted to include higher-order preferences for non-normative purposes http://www.debate.org...

Do you really believe that? Or not? If you believe it, you should man up and defend it in a debate. -RoyLatham

My Pet Fish is such a Douche- NiamC

It's an app to meet friends and stuff, sort of like an adult club penguin- Thett3, describing Tinder
Mikal
Posts: 11,270
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4/3/2014 3:33:36 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 4/3/2014 3:33:20 PM, ClassicRobert wrote:
At 4/3/2014 3:32:21 PM, Mikal wrote:
At 4/3/2014 3:20:23 PM, ClassicRobert wrote:
I decided I wanted this to have its own thread.

bodied

hail the one true king

http://www.debate.org...

Haha that's why I put Roy as your servant.

l m a o