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Star Debate Season 1 E1 p2: The Sendoff

Jonbonbon
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5/2/2014 6:52:15 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
Part 1: http://www.debate.org...

"Sir, we've arrived at Oron," Mikal said as he stopped the warp engines.

"Put it on screen," Airmax said standing up. Endark clicked a few buttons and there it was. It was and M class planet. Its main difference from earth was that it was almost entirely tropical. Even if it was a bit hot there, the planet was beautiful.

"Look at that," Endark said in a barely audible tone. Then Airmax saw what he was talking about. Prodine's Coral Reef. It was a Coral reef extremely similar to the ones on earth, but since the planet was tropical, it was large enough that it was clearly visible from orbit. It extended up the major continent, Oirlind, and went out 10 miles. From space it was like a colorful outline of the continent.

"Sir, we're being hailed," Linkish said from behind him.

Without turning around Airmax simply said, "On screen."

The face of an Oronian ambassador appeared on the screen. He would have looked almost exactly like a human if it weren't for a small bump between his eyebrows. "Hello, Captain," the Oronian said politely. "My name is Irrow."

"Hello, Irrow, we've brought your supplies," Airmax responded. He'd fortunately just got done reading the mission assignment. It was an odd one. They wanted him to bring supplies for mining on the surface of their planet. They refused to have it teleported to the surface, because of an incident a year ago where half a shipment was lost. They'd requested a larger ship to bring their supplies since they needed a lot. Even though a Galaxy Class starship is an exploration ship not a cargo ship, Starfleet sent the cargo on the Enforcer since Oron was the direction they were going anyway.

"Thank you, our docking station is coming into range of your ship. We'll send out a transport shuttle to take your cargo," Irrow said looking as if he was reaching to turn off his communications panel.

"Um, wouldn't it be simpler for us to dock at your station?" Airmax asked a little confused. It wasn't in the mission assignment that the Oronians would prefer to default to inefficient means.

"Our station is designed specifically to dock with our shuttles," Irrow responded quickly. "Trust us, this is the best way."

Airmax resisted the urge to wave him off and resorted to just saying, "Alright, if that's the way you want to do it."

"Thank you for your understanding, Captain."

The screen switched back to the planet and the station was coming into view.

"Everything about this seems off," Airmax said plainly.

"Should I increase the security detail at the cargo bays?" Linkish asked, probably already doing it.

"Sir, I'm not sure that's necessary," said a man standing by the engineering panel. After a moment the name came back to him. His full name was Blade of Truth. He specialized in sociology at the academy, but since that has no official designation on a Galaxy Class starship, he just worked engineering on the bridge.

"What do you mean by that?" Airmax asked holding up a hand to Linkish.

"Well, the Oronians are known for being exceedingly generous," Blade continued. "The last fifteen cargo ships that have made delivery ships here have been presented with secret gifts. The Oronians unload cloaked presents, like high quality synthahol and latinum bars."

"Why do they cloak them?" Linkish asked suspicious of that kind of pattern of behavior.

"Well, Starfleet returns them," Blade said as if it were a well known fact. "Cargo ships aren't supposed to take on an extra load like that. They'll almost certainly do that to us, since we aren't a cargo ship."

"How did the cargo ships find out about it?"

"The first ten ships found it when scanning the cargo since the cloaking device didn't keep the cargo hidden from all scans, but the last five were undetectable."

"Why do you know all of this?" Mike asked somewhat seriously, but he had a joking sort of look on his face.

"I take a strong interest in studying alien cultures and their physiologies," Blade responded proudly.

"Good enough for me."

"One of the shuttles said they're ready to dock when we are," Linkish interrupted.

"Direct them to cargo bay four," Airmax said then as an after thought he added, "And go down there with a small security team to make sure they stay in line."

Linkish hit a few more buttons and said, "Yes, sir." He walked into the turbo lift and was gone.

Airmax didn't necessarily think anything bad was going to happen. He was just naturally cautious around unusual behavior.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Linkish strode down the halls as quickly as he could without looking unprofessional. Soon he was joined by Philo Christo, one of the two security guards he'd asked to come. The other was Oncoming Storm. Both were great officers, and if any trouble broke out, he knew they'd be able to keep it under control.

"Hello, Philo," Linkish said as they walked quickly to cargo bay 4.

"Hello, sir," Philo asked ending his sentence as if he'd wanted to say more.

"What is it?"

"Why do I need to specifically watch out for someone pushing nothing?" Philo had always been rather honest about things. As long as there was permission for him to say what he wanted to say, he would most definitely say it.

"These people are known to give cloaked gifts to whoever they're receiving a delivery from."

"And that's bad?"

"Well, first of all, I need to register everything that comes on this ship, and second of all, no matter what Blade said, we can't just trust they're bringing us random gifts."

"Blade?"

Linkish remembered that many people on this ship hadn't met each other, and probably wouldn't for a while. "Yeah, he's an engineering guy that studies aliens and stuff," he waved off. "He said they're overly generous, but I don't tend to assume the best when someone's acting suspicious."

"Fair enough, sir."

They walked into the cargo back and looked around at the equipment. It would, of course, be easiest to put it piece-by-piece on the giant transporter pad and beam it over, but if the Oronians wanted to waste fuel then let them waste fuel.

Oncoming was already in the room with two engineering officers. "The Oronians said they'll be docking any second now," he said.

"Do they even have ships that are able to dock with our cargo bay?" Philo asked. Someone was bound to ask that sooner or later.

Linkish already did and looked up their shuttle design. "Their shuttles can dock with just about anything within a certain range," he started. He took a guesstimate about the size of the door and continued, "The back of the shuttle is made of several layers of machinery that can completely cover up the entrance, and their engines are developed enough that they can synchronize with the Enforcer. Their doors will generate a force field anyway the same shape as our door within moments of docking anyway."

"That's actually pretty advanced," Oncoming said sounding impressed.

"It's also entirely unnecessary, but they can be a waste if they want."

A clanging rang throughout the room, and Linkish heard Airmax come on the comm badge, "Open the cargo bay doors Linkish. They've arrived."

Linkish walked over to the control panel in front of the teleport pad and opened the doors. He saw three Oronians walk on on a platform immediately. The force field was already in place, and it was surrounded by the layers of metal they'd set up originally.

"You'd better not scratch the hull," Linkish said sternly to them.

"Don't worry, friend. We specifically designed the doors not to do any damage," one of the Oronians said rather calmly. He extended a hand and said, "My name is Pael-Ka."

Linkish shook his hand and said, "Lieutenant Commander Linkish."

The Oronians began loading the cargo into their shuttle, while Philo, Oncoming and Linkish watched them.
The Troll Queen.

I'm also the Troll Goddess of Reason. Sacrifices are appreciated but not necessary.

"I'm a vivacious sex fiend," SolonKR.

Go vote on one of my debates. I'm not that smart, so it'll probably be an easy decision.

Fite me m9

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Jonbonbon
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5/2/2014 6:52:56 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
"There's three more cargo bays full," one of the engineers said. That was Romanii if he remembered right. He mainly just recognized the face from the last starship they'd served on. "You're only taking this and the next cargo bay. Your other shuttle reported they were getting supplies from cargo bays one and two."

"Good!" Pael-Ka exclaimed with the face of joy.

It was starting to look like his presence wasn't necessary.

"You two stay here," Linkish said to Oncoming and Philo.

"Yes, sir," they said almost simultaneously.

Linkish walked out on his way to tell Airmax there was no need for alarm.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Philo glanced over at Oncoming and noticed an Oronian behind him. It looked like he was scanning the doorway. "Hey," he called out as he turned to go over to him. "What are you doing?"

"Your doors are more advanced than ours," he replied timidly. "I was just seeing what we can do to improve them."

"Is it really that important?"

"We waste energy on doors that could be diverted elsewhere."

"Alright, well if you want, you can do research sometime else, preferably with permission."

"Sorry." The guy sounded remorseful, but everything else about him seemed entirely content. They were such a weird race.

He walked back to stand next to Oncoming, and they stayed there silently again. He'd talked to Oncoming after getting his room assignment. Their cabins were right next to each other. They'd only spoken for about an hour before going on duty and getting assigned to different sections of the Enforcer. It was a shame since they seemed to share an interest in philosophy, however mild Oncoming's interest might be.

Oncoming eventually broke the silence, "I was expecting this to be a little more exciting." He laughed through his nose as calmly as possible. Probably trying to look professional.

"I wasn't, to be honest," Philo responded. "I used to be assigned to the USS Odysee. Galaxy Class starships don't typically see the kind of internal action that a cargo ship might."

"I guess that's the thing," Oncoming responded with a shrug. "I used to work on an Oberth Class starship. If we were one of those, we'd be considered understaffed for a security detail on delivering supplies."

"Is it really that bad?"

"Yeah, people use trade as an excuse for all sorts of things. I've had a few near-death experiences myself."

"Like what?"

"Well, for example, trading with the Ferengi. They tried to loot our entire ship, even though we were literally delivering them a supply of latinum due to a deal we made concerning an outpost."

"How'd they even get the numbers to attack you?"

"They accused us of holding back on latinum, and my softball captain let the whole lot of them come on the ship. Next thing we know, they have their weapons out, and we don't even have a chance to start the red alert sirens."

"I'm glad I never got an assignment with a cargo ship. I don't even know how I would've handled that other than to just start shooting and hoping I live."

"I actually started banging some pipes that were lying around. Their massive ears were hyper-sensitive to the high frequencies, and they were practically sucking their thumbs by the time we kicked them off our ship."

"We're done unloading in this cargo bay," Pael-Ka said cautiously.

Philo looked around and noticed all but about ten crates were gone. He nodded and walked to the control panel. "Board your shuttle, and move on to the next cargo bay," he said to the Oronians and waited for them to get on. When they were on, he turned on the force field and closed the doors.

He and Oncoming began walking out, but as a last thought, Philo decided to check the crates and make sure there wasn't any thing left for the Oronians. "You'd keep going, I'll meet up with you in a second," he said to Oncoming and waving him off. He walked around the crates and heard the door open then close.

After he'd concluded the crates were all for the Enforcer, he walked over to the doors.

But they didn't open.

He stepped back and tried again, but the doors weren't working. He hit his comm badge and said, "Oncoming Storm, the doors are jammed."

"I'll see if I can catch Romanii," he replied quickly.

"Alright, and make sure to let Linkish know that he needs other security officers in cargo bay 3."
The Troll Queen.

I'm also the Troll Goddess of Reason. Sacrifices are appreciated but not necessary.

"I'm a vivacious sex fiend," SolonKR.

Go vote on one of my debates. I'm not that smart, so it'll probably be an easy decision.

Fite me m9

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lannan13
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5/2/2014 6:54:35 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
Another good episode.
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Topics I want to debate. (http://tinyurl.com...)
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Jonbonbon
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5/2/2014 6:58:27 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 5/2/2014 6:54:35 PM, lannan13 wrote:
Another good episode.

Thanks :)
The Troll Queen.

I'm also the Troll Goddess of Reason. Sacrifices are appreciated but not necessary.

"I'm a vivacious sex fiend," SolonKR.

Go vote on one of my debates. I'm not that smart, so it'll probably be an easy decision.

Fite me m9

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bsh1
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5/2/2014 7:07:15 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
Good job!
Live Long and Prosper

I'm a Bish.


"Twilight isn't just about obtuse metaphors between cannibalism and premarital sex, it also teaches us the futility of hope." - Raisor

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Jonbonbon
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5/2/2014 7:11:45 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 5/2/2014 7:07:15 PM, bsh1 wrote:
Good job!

Thanks :) part three is pretty killer if I may self-evaluate haha. I've already written it, but I I'm gonna post it tomorrow.
The Troll Queen.

I'm also the Troll Goddess of Reason. Sacrifices are appreciated but not necessary.

"I'm a vivacious sex fiend," SolonKR.

Go vote on one of my debates. I'm not that smart, so it'll probably be an easy decision.

Fite me m9

http://www.debate.org...
bsh1
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5/2/2014 7:12:51 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 5/2/2014 7:11:45 PM, Jonbonbon wrote:
At 5/2/2014 7:07:15 PM, bsh1 wrote:
Good job!

Thanks :) part three is pretty killer if I may self-evaluate haha. I've already written it, but I I'm gonna post it tomorrow.

Cool. I can wait :)
Live Long and Prosper

I'm a Bish.


"Twilight isn't just about obtuse metaphors between cannibalism and premarital sex, it also teaches us the futility of hope." - Raisor

"[Bsh1] is the Guinan of DDO." - ButterCatX

Follow the DDOlympics
: http://www.debate.org...

Open Debate Topics Project: http://www.debate.org...
ESocialBookworm
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5/2/2014 7:34:14 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
Awesome!
Solonkr~
I don't care about whether an ideology is "necessary" or not,
I care about how to solve problems,
which is what everyone else should also care about.

Ken~
In essence, the world is fucked up and you can either ignore it, become cynical or bitter about it.

Me~
"BAILEY + SOLON = SAILEY
MY SHIP SAILEY MUST SAIL"

SCREW THAT SHIZ #BANNIE = BAILEY & ANNIE

P.S. Shipped Sailey before it was cannon bitches.
Jonbonbon
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5/2/2014 7:55:06 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 5/2/2014 7:34:14 PM, ESocialBookworm wrote:
Awesome!

Thank you! :)
The Troll Queen.

I'm also the Troll Goddess of Reason. Sacrifices are appreciated but not necessary.

"I'm a vivacious sex fiend," SolonKR.

Go vote on one of my debates. I'm not that smart, so it'll probably be an easy decision.

Fite me m9

http://www.debate.org...
Jonbonbon
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5/2/2014 8:20:20 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
Well I have the whole thing written XD

It's four parts. Part three will be posted tomorrow, and part four on Sunday. I'll be writing the next episodes and hopefully have at least a couple of parts done by Monday so I can start posting immediately.

I'll make sure to put links to the previous episode in each post so you guys can rabbit trail your way back if you miss a day or two. I'm hoping they don't take too long to read (certainly don't take long to write).
The Troll Queen.

I'm also the Troll Goddess of Reason. Sacrifices are appreciated but not necessary.

"I'm a vivacious sex fiend," SolonKR.

Go vote on one of my debates. I'm not that smart, so it'll probably be an easy decision.

Fite me m9

http://www.debate.org...
Jonbonbon
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5/3/2014 10:43:19 AM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 5/2/2014 11:00:12 PM, EndarkenedRationalist wrote:
Brilliant!

Thanks! Part three coming in a second :) it's a nail biter.
The Troll Queen.

I'm also the Troll Goddess of Reason. Sacrifices are appreciated but not necessary.

"I'm a vivacious sex fiend," SolonKR.

Go vote on one of my debates. I'm not that smart, so it'll probably be an easy decision.

Fite me m9

http://www.debate.org...
Blade-of-Truth
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5/3/2014 12:43:28 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
Excellent!! Going to start p3 now!!
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Linkish1O2
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5/4/2014 7:59:59 AM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 5/3/2014 7:37:34 PM, NiqashMotawadi3 wrote:
Boring.

Your username should be negative nancy.
"I am a mystery and to unlock the mystery at my core, one must simply embrace slendermans hug with no fear."- me

"I hearby declare myself a phantom in the darkness."-me
ESocialBookworm
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5/4/2014 8:24:05 AM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 5/4/2014 7:59:59 AM, Linkish1O2 wrote:
At 5/3/2014 7:37:34 PM, NiqashMotawadi3 wrote:
Boring.

Your username should be negative nancy.

-.- That's mean to Nancy's out there!
You're making them seem like pansies.
Solonkr~
I don't care about whether an ideology is "necessary" or not,
I care about how to solve problems,
which is what everyone else should also care about.

Ken~
In essence, the world is fucked up and you can either ignore it, become cynical or bitter about it.

Me~
"BAILEY + SOLON = SAILEY
MY SHIP SAILEY MUST SAIL"

SCREW THAT SHIZ #BANNIE = BAILEY & ANNIE

P.S. Shipped Sailey before it was cannon bitches.
Linkish1O2
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5/4/2014 8:54:31 AM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 5/4/2014 8:24:05 AM, ESocialBookworm wrote:
At 5/4/2014 7:59:59 AM, Linkish1O2 wrote:
At 5/3/2014 7:37:34 PM, NiqashMotawadi3 wrote:
Boring.

Your username should be negative nancy.

-.- That's mean to Nancy's out there!
You're making them seem like pansies.

Of all the people I never really thought you would help me diss somebody :D you just called him unfit to be a nancy, and he is now worse then a pansy....buahahahaha I agree
"I am a mystery and to unlock the mystery at my core, one must simply embrace slendermans hug with no fear."- me

"I hearby declare myself a phantom in the darkness."-me
Jonbonbon
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5/4/2014 1:15:34 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 5/3/2014 7:37:34 PM, NiqashMotawadi3 wrote:
Boring.

So do you have an actual critique or does one word pretty much settle it for you?
The Troll Queen.

I'm also the Troll Goddess of Reason. Sacrifices are appreciated but not necessary.

"I'm a vivacious sex fiend," SolonKR.

Go vote on one of my debates. I'm not that smart, so it'll probably be an easy decision.

Fite me m9

http://www.debate.org...
NiqashMotawadi3
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5/4/2014 1:19:41 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 5/4/2014 1:15:34 PM, Jonbonbon wrote:
At 5/3/2014 7:37:34 PM, NiqashMotawadi3 wrote:
Boring.

So do you have an actual critique or does one word pretty much settle it for you?

What difference does it make? You won't listen anyway. But here is something to mull over: Too much one-sentence dialogue kills a story.
Jonbonbon
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5/4/2014 1:23:17 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 5/4/2014 1:19:41 PM, NiqashMotawadi3 wrote:
At 5/4/2014 1:15:34 PM, Jonbonbon wrote:
At 5/3/2014 7:37:34 PM, NiqashMotawadi3 wrote:
Boring.

So do you have an actual critique or does one word pretty much settle it for you?

What difference does it make? You won't listen anyway.

Oh.. Such assumption. Very incorrect. Wow.

Of course I will. Writing is something I actually like to do, so if there's something I can do to improve it, I'll listen. This is actually one of those things where I'll ask people what I can do to improve, because it's something I care to improve on.

But here is something to mull over: Too much one-sentence dialogue kills a story.

That's somewhat difficult in a Star Trek spinoff (just because of the way the dialogue structure generally works, since it's not very conversational in most areas), but I'll keep that in mind.
The Troll Queen.

I'm also the Troll Goddess of Reason. Sacrifices are appreciated but not necessary.

"I'm a vivacious sex fiend," SolonKR.

Go vote on one of my debates. I'm not that smart, so it'll probably be an easy decision.

Fite me m9

http://www.debate.org...
NiqashMotawadi3
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5/4/2014 1:25:11 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
It's funny how when you place a negative opinion using one word, the author strikes back asking for a long-winded critique, but when you flash flowers and say "excellent" or "briiliant," the author just thanks you for your meaningless response and moves forward. If you want good reasons for negative responses composed of one word such as "boring," you should also ask for the same treatment when someone says "brilliant."
NiqashMotawadi3
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5/4/2014 1:28:32 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 5/4/2014 1:23:17 PM, Jonbonbon wrote:
At 5/4/2014 1:19:41 PM, NiqashMotawadi3 wrote:
At 5/4/2014 1:15:34 PM, Jonbonbon wrote:
At 5/3/2014 7:37:34 PM, NiqashMotawadi3 wrote:
Boring.

So do you have an actual critique or does one word pretty much settle it for you?

What difference does it make? You won't listen anyway.

Oh.. Such assumption. Very incorrect. Wow.

Of course I will. Writing is something I actually like to do, so if there's something I can do to improve it, I'll listen. This is actually one of those things where I'll ask people what I can do to improve, because it's something I care to improve on.

But here is something to mull over: Too much one-sentence dialogue kills a story.

That's somewhat difficult in a Star Trek spinoff (just because of the way the dialogue structure generally works, since it's not very conversational in most areas), but I'll keep that in mind.

If you were bothered about critique, you would have NOT thanked people who said it was "excellent" without asking for reasons. You would have asked them why they liked your writing, because your writing probably sucks if the majority of DDO likes it.
Jonbonbon
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5/4/2014 1:38:46 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 5/4/2014 1:25:11 PM, NiqashMotawadi3 wrote:
It's funny how when you place a negative opinion using one word, the author strikes back asking for a long-winded critique, but when you flash flowers and say "excellent" or "briiliant," the author just thanks you for your meaningless response and moves forward. If you want good reasons for negative responses composed of one word such as "boring," you should also ask for the same treatment when someone says "brilliant."

Not necessarily. That operates under the presupposition that negative and positive feedback require equal consideration. Positive feedback implies the lack of a change, which does not require serious consideration at all, except an internal one (where one internally chooses not to change the form by which he/she does something). Negative feedback, however, implies the need for change. Change takes more consideration than lack of change.

When someone says brilliant, wonderful, good, etc. it can be taken as "keep doing what you're doing."

When you want a more productive positive critique, it's generally a good idea to ask someone privately (this is what I do), so publicly it looks different than it really is. However, that's probably the most effective way to get advice from someone you trust as a peer.

When someone implies "don't keep doing what you're doing" then there's reason to take more time on it. That requires a more specific response since there are a lot of things a writer doesn't do as opposed to what they actually do. Also, vague critiques don't serve a purpose as negative feedback when formatted as one word responses since such a response does nothing to improve a situation, unless the critic's goal is to discourage someone from (in this case) writing entirely, but I'd rather assume that's not your goal.

So in the end, a need for change trumps a congratulation for what one is already doing. Does that make the logic behind my public responses more clear?
The Troll Queen.

I'm also the Troll Goddess of Reason. Sacrifices are appreciated but not necessary.

"I'm a vivacious sex fiend," SolonKR.

Go vote on one of my debates. I'm not that smart, so it'll probably be an easy decision.

Fite me m9

http://www.debate.org...
Jonbonbon
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5/4/2014 1:41:05 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 5/4/2014 1:28:32 PM, NiqashMotawadi3 wrote:
At 5/4/2014 1:23:17 PM, Jonbonbon wrote:
At 5/4/2014 1:19:41 PM, NiqashMotawadi3 wrote:
At 5/4/2014 1:15:34 PM, Jonbonbon wrote:
At 5/3/2014 7:37:34 PM, NiqashMotawadi3 wrote:
Boring.

So do you have an actual critique or does one word pretty much settle it for you?

What difference does it make? You won't listen anyway.

Oh.. Such assumption. Very incorrect. Wow.

Of course I will. Writing is something I actually like to do, so if there's something I can do to improve it, I'll listen. This is actually one of those things where I'll ask people what I can do to improve, because it's something I care to improve on.

But here is something to mull over: Too much one-sentence dialogue kills a story.

That's somewhat difficult in a Star Trek spinoff (just because of the way the dialogue structure generally works, since it's not very conversational in most areas), but I'll keep that in mind.

If you were bothered about critique, you would have NOT thanked people who said it was "excellent" without asking for reasons. You would have asked them why they liked your writing, because your writing probably sucks if the majority of DDO likes it.

That's not a logically sound assumption. Given the necessary condition that a majority of DDO doesn't know what they're talking about in this area, they are still capable of appreciating something that is good. Besides, I'm only writing for them, so it doesn't really matter either way.
The Troll Queen.

I'm also the Troll Goddess of Reason. Sacrifices are appreciated but not necessary.

"I'm a vivacious sex fiend," SolonKR.

Go vote on one of my debates. I'm not that smart, so it'll probably be an easy decision.

Fite me m9

http://www.debate.org...
NiqashMotawadi3
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5/4/2014 1:41:35 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 5/4/2014 1:38:46 PM, Jonbonbon wrote:
At 5/4/2014 1:25:11 PM, NiqashMotawadi3 wrote:
It's funny how when you place a negative opinion using one word, the author strikes back asking for a long-winded critique, but when you flash flowers and say "excellent" or "briiliant," the author just thanks you for your meaningless response and moves forward. If you want good reasons for negative responses composed of one word such as "boring," you should also ask for the same treatment when someone says "brilliant."

Not necessarily. That operates under the presupposition that negative and positive feedback require equal consideration. Positive feedback implies the lack of a change, which does not require serious consideration at all, except an internal one (where one internally chooses not to change the form by which he/she does something). Negative feedback, however, implies the need for change. Change takes more consideration than lack of change.

Feedback is not just for change. Feedback determines both what needs to be changed and what doesn't need to be changed, but needs to be followed more. Hence, why both positive and negative feedback must be emphasized.


When someone says brilliant, wonderful, good, etc. it can be taken as "keep doing what you're doing."

When you want a more productive positive critique, it's generally a good idea to ask someone privately (this is what I do), so publicly it looks different than it really is. However, that's probably the most effective way to get advice from someone you trust as a peer.

When someone implies "don't keep doing what you're doing" then there's reason to take more time on it. That requires a more specific response since there are a lot of things a writer doesn't do as opposed to what they actually do. Also, vague critiques don't serve a purpose as negative feedback when formatted as one word responses since such a response does nothing to improve a situation, unless the critic's goal is to discourage someone from (in this case) writing entirely, but I'd rather assume that's not your goal.

So in the end, a need for change trumps a congratulation for what one is already doing. Does that make the logic behind my public responses more clear?
NiqashMotawadi3
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5/4/2014 1:45:23 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
That's not a logically sound assumption. Given the necessary condition that a majority of DDO doesn't know what they're talking about in this area, they are still capable of appreciating something that is good. Besides, I'm only writing for them, so it doesn't really matter either way.

That's your second flaw. Never write to anyone, write for yourself. And I don't esteem anyone on DDO highly, so I said "probably" what they like is not what is necessarily good. It's like asking people about a philosophically deep movie, and them shouting back "Inception" or some other stupid movie which seems philosophically deep from their redneck, 'Murican perspective.
Jonbonbon
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5/4/2014 1:46:52 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 5/4/2014 1:41:35 PM, NiqashMotawadi3 wrote:
At 5/4/2014 1:38:46 PM, Jonbonbon wrote:
At 5/4/2014 1:25:11 PM, NiqashMotawadi3 wrote:
It's funny how when you place a negative opinion using one word, the author strikes back asking for a long-winded critique, but when you flash flowers and say "excellent" or "briiliant," the author just thanks you for your meaningless response and moves forward. If you want good reasons for negative responses composed of one word such as "boring," you should also ask for the same treatment when someone says "brilliant."

Not necessarily. That operates under the presupposition that negative and positive feedback require equal consideration. Positive feedback implies the lack of a change, which does not require serious consideration at all, except an internal one (where one internally chooses not to change the form by which he/she does something). Negative feedback, however, implies the need for change. Change takes more consideration than lack of change.

Feedback is not just for change.

I already agreed to that. "Positive feedback implies a lack of change." So that's an unnecessary sentence.

Feedback determines both what needs to be changed and what doesn't need to be changed, but needs to be followed more. Hence, why both positive and negative feedback must be emphasized.

Yes, the more productive positive feedback requires a more specific analysis, but that doesn't make it necessarily wrong to just say "thank you" to someone who just throws a compliment at you. That's why I ask people specifically (usually over PMs or texting) what I should improve on and what I should keep doing.

When someone says brilliant, wonderful, good, etc. it can be taken as "keep doing what you're doing."

When you want a more productive positive critique, it's generally a good idea to ask someone privately (this is what I do), so publicly it looks different than it really is. However, that's probably the most effective way to get advice from someone you trust as a peer.

When someone implies "don't keep doing what you're doing" then there's reason to take more time on it. That requires a more specific response since there are a lot of things a writer doesn't do as opposed to what they actually do. Also, vague critiques don't serve a purpose as negative feedback when formatted as one word responses since such a response does nothing to improve a situation, unless the critic's goal is to discourage someone from (in this case) writing entirely, but I'd rather assume that's not your goal.

So in the end, a need for change trumps a congratulation for what one is already doing. Does that make the logic behind my public responses more clear?
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NiqashMotawadi3
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5/4/2014 1:50:12 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
Yes, the more productive positive feedback requires a more specific analysis, but that doesn't make it necessarily wrong to just say "thank you" to someone who just throws a compliment at you. That's why I ask people specifically (usually over PMs or texting) what I should improve on and what I should keep doing.

And why wouldn't you ask someone with a negative feedback his opinions over a PM? That's a double standard at best, if I follow your reasoning.
Jonbonbon
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5/4/2014 1:51:46 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 5/4/2014 1:45:23 PM, NiqashMotawadi3 wrote:
That's not a logically sound assumption. Given the necessary condition that a majority of DDO doesn't know what they're talking about in this area, they are still capable of appreciating something that is good. Besides, I'm only writing for them, so it doesn't really matter either way.

That's your second flaw. Never write to anyone, write for yourself.

Your flaw is the fact that you make hasty assumptions. I do write for myself. I write things all the time that I usually just show to my boyfriend, because he likes reading my stories. What you're reading is something I'm actually writing to an audience now. There's no problem with writing to an audience something you think they'll enjoy.

And I don't esteem anyone on DDO highly, so I said "probably" what they like is not what is necessarily good. It's like asking people about a philosophically deep movie, and them shouting back "Inception" or some other stupid movie which seems philosophically deep from their redneck, 'Murican perspective.

Well, yeah, obviously it's not necessary good. That doesn't warrant considering it "probably" bad though. That just means it's possible they enjoy something that isn't necessarily good. Even then, that can't be used as grounds to consider something bad.
The Troll Queen.

I'm also the Troll Goddess of Reason. Sacrifices are appreciated but not necessary.

"I'm a vivacious sex fiend," SolonKR.

Go vote on one of my debates. I'm not that smart, so it'll probably be an easy decision.

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NiqashMotawadi3
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5/4/2014 1:53:08 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
You're clearly good at writing in terms of stylistics with a good flow because you're a native speaker, but you ruined your story-telling with too much one-line setences. I'm not saying you suck or anything, you're definitely way better than Linkish, but I found myself bored although I read the whole thing.