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The darkness within chapter 1

Linkish1O2
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5/3/2014 1:32:20 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
Jifpop09 sighed as he looked through his window, he saw children playing in the streets below. He wished he could be a child again, oh how it was so easy those days, when mother fed him a free meal and he had a free room with his own comfortable bed. He sighed again, fogging up his window, the sun shined through but offered little heat to the college dorm he was in.

"Are you feeling ok?" 9spaceking asked.

Jifpop09 looked at his roommate in a slow motion, his eyes drooping tword the floor.

"I was just remembering the day it was so much easier as a child, those days where just...." He paused "so easy" he finished.

9spaceking watched him curiosity gleaming in his eyes.

"Don't forget about the camp out next week, I sure hope you can come, it'll be fun. Nothing but woods and a few beers with some down time to relax." 9spaceking said, trying to cheer his roommate up.

Jifpop09 looked down at his desk where his unfinished algebra homework lay, he then looked at the floor, and thought about this college camp out in the woods, oh how it seemed exciting, but on the other hand the woods gave jifpop09 a scare, every time he looked into the woods he felt his gut twist in fear, like somebody was watching him. 'Maybe it was time to face his fear?' He thought.
-

Godchooseslife was watching her cellphone intensely, hoping he would call. Not long ago did her friend call and ask her to come to a camp out in the woods with his buddies, but she had to ask her parents for permission, after what seemed like ages her dad came up and told her it sounded like a great idea, and that she should get out of the house and hang out with friends every once in a while.

COME ALONG IF YOU FEEL LIKE A ROOM WITHOUT A ROOF, CLAP ALONG IF YOU FEEL LIKE HAPPINESS IS THE TRUTH, CLAP ALONG IF YOU YOU KNOW WHAT HAPPINESS IS TO YOU, CLAP ALONG IF YOU FEEL LIKE THATS WHAT YOU WANT TO DO.

Godchooseslife jumped as her phone rang with her favorite song, she causally answered the phone feeling the excitement build up in her.

"Hello?" She answered already knowing it was her friend EndarkenedRationalist

"Hey life is that you? I just got out of class and I'm calling you back like you asked me to." The phone boomed in her ear.

"Of course it's me, duh." She could barely contain her excitement, so she squeaked in the phone. "My parents said I can go!!!! I'm already packed and ready to go!!" She wanted to clap her hands, just like her phone said to do, but she held back.

"That's great news, I can't wait, so I'll be there next Friday to pick you up, I am taking the jeep, it's going to be a great time!" EndarkenedRationalist was still booming through her phone.

Godchooseslife practically jumped off her bed in joy, oh god, she couldn't wait.

"GREAT, I can't wait, this will be my first camping trip ever, other then that time I fished with dad, but we didn't stay overnight." She told her friend, she almost dropped her phone but instead she gripped it tighter in her hands.

EndarkenedRationalist laughed. "Great I'll see you then, I got to get to my next class now, have a good afternoon."

There was a loud click as EndarkenedRationalist hung up his phone. But godchooseslife was allready jumping and clapping and dancing like crazy. Oh how this was going to be an the best time of her life!

As the day began to close, Godchooseslife got a list of some people who where invited to camp as well, she scrolled through the inventation list from EndarkenedRationalist, scrutinising each camper that was invited. 'EndarkenedRationalist, Jifpop09, Godchooseslife, Pitbull, ClassicRobert.' 'I don't know half these people.' She muttered to herself as she emailed ClassicRobert.
"I am a mystery and to unlock the mystery at my core, one must simply embrace slendermans hug with no fear."- me

"I hearby declare myself a phantom in the darkness."-me
Linkish1O2
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5/3/2014 1:33:26 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
School had been unusually heavy on ClassicRobert in the past week. Teachers had been scrutinizing his performance against a new criteria for the curriculum, and he was feeling the weight already. Lannan13 had not been better off. Between the two of them, ClassicRobert believed that he was the better student, but acknowledged Lannan to be far more physically apt.

The familiar buzz of a new email alerted him to reality. ClassicRobert blearily shook himself awake and conceded that an early sleep tonight would be a hopeless endevour.

COME ALONG IF YOU FEEL LIKE A ROOM WITHOUT A ROOF, CLAP ALONG IF YOU FEEL LIKE HAPPINESS IS THE TRUTH, CLAP ALONG IF YOU YOU KNOW WHAT HAPPINESS IS TO YOU, CLAP ALONG IF YOU FEEL LIKE THATS WHAT YOU WANT TO DO.

ClassicRobert paused as his mind cleared, attempting to make sense of what was written in the message before him.

"Hey Rob,
Just wondering if you're coming with us to the camping trip this weekend. Endarkened Rationalist has invited you and Pitbull along. Do come, it will so much fun! :D

~Godchooseslife."

ClassicRobert bit his tongue, considering.

"Alright, I guess I can come, Pitbull would come regardless of anything, so that's all good. The game now is to keep this away from Lannan, my little step-brother. If he gets wind of the trip he'll tag along against my best wishes. But would you mind if he came?

Regards, ClassicRobert."

ClassicRobert hit the send and clambered out his room, downstairs and into the lounge. 'Hey pa, will you miss me if I am gone this weekend?' ClassicRobert's Dad lifted his head from his drunken slouch and hefted a pudgy hand across the back of the sofa. 'Son, I wouldn't miss yeh even with an ol' british musket.' The resulting tumble from the sofa and loud gutteral chokes following told ClassicRobert that his work there was done. An electric thrill ran through his system, the sort you get at the prospect of rare and exciting event. camping out in the woods sounded spooky, but that was exactly how he liked it.

"Rob,
No worries, Bring Lannan along if he wants to come, but get in touch with Pitbull for me, will ya? I'm not gonna do it. Cuz, y'know, I hardly know him, and it's getting late, and he's a guy... So just do it, yeah? I can hardly wait!!!!

~Godchooseslife."

ClassicRobert raised an eyebrow at the last sentence, amused at Godchooseslife's awkwardness around guys. She never was the most social of people he thought, but had some brief spikes of uber-happiness and social skill. ClassicRobert made a point to talk to her more often in school, a puzzle was a puzzle after all, and that's what he lived to solve. Taking a deep, exhilerated and yet somehow apprehensive sigh, he pressed in Pitbull's number and jumped into bed, phone in hand.

'yeah brother?' Was the almost immediate reply.
'Pitbull, we got ourselves a camp in some woods this weeken-' 'I'm in!' Hooted Pitbull. ClassicRobert chuckled inwardly.
'Well, you had better-' ClassicRobert took the phone away from his ear, alerted by the sudden silence in his house.

'Everything alright bro?' Called Pitbull from the phone. ClassicRobert stood up from his bed, the hairs on the back of his neck making a cold, prickling sensation. He strained his ears, listening for the ever-present buzz of the computer equipment in his brother's room, the snores of his father downstairs, and for the humdrum of the world outside.

'Hey, Robert!,' ClassicRobert hung up the phone, feeling a heaviness weighing on him like a diver under water. 'Lannan, you ok?' He called from his room. Nothing audible alerted him to any movement in the room next to him. 'Or life for that matter,' came a voice from within his head. ClassicRobert frowned, the sound of his beating heart disturbing the silence like a pebble thrown into water. 'lannan,' He called again, though more to himself than to anyone else.

'Robert?' The faint but familar sound of Lannan's voice from downstairs sent a jolt through ClassicRobert's entire body, causing him to trip and tumble over some discarded clothes on his way out of his room, down the stairs and back into the lounge where his younger step-brother was kneeling over his father, attempting a hurried and frantic CPR. Lannan had his hands folded over each other, pressing his palms into the old man's chest, arm's rigid and eyes dilated and bloodshot.

'Pa!' ClassicRobert shrieked as he barreled into Lannan, Hurredly taking over the CPR and pounding compression after compression into his father's chest. Lannan sat back, no sound coming from him at all. 'Not even that of breathing,' whispered the voice from his head again. ClassicRobert gasped and choked on convulsions of tears from shock as he vainly attempted to bring color back into the cold, pale white face of the man who had raised him for his entire life. 'Call somebody!' He shouted at Lannan through his sobs.

Lannan knelt frozen in place, stiff all over and begining to hyperventilate. 'Goddamit Lannan!!' ClassicRobert pulled his phone out and dialled the emergency number, still continuing to thump his father's chest with a clenched fist.

The scene of the ambulence dragging away the lifeless form of his father into the ambulance van was to be the last time ClassicRobert saw him. The image of his father's body on the ambulence bed and the sounds of the sirens piercing the night burned themselves into his memory. Never to be forgotten.

'All die sooner or later,' came the voice again. It echoed within his mind, leaving ClassicRobert an empty, broken soul.
"I am a mystery and to unlock the mystery at my core, one must simply embrace slendermans hug with no fear."- me

"I hearby declare myself a phantom in the darkness."-me
Linkish1O2
Posts: 2,003
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5/3/2014 1:33:59 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
There you have it folks chapter one of ddos new horror story.
"I am a mystery and to unlock the mystery at my core, one must simply embrace slendermans hug with no fear."- me

"I hearby declare myself a phantom in the darkness."-me
Linkish1O2
Posts: 2,003
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5/3/2014 2:03:15 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 5/3/2014 1:57:29 PM, EndarkenedRationalist wrote:
Well, that got dark really quickly.

AWESOME!

I wanted to draw the audience in :p
"I am a mystery and to unlock the mystery at my core, one must simply embrace slendermans hug with no fear."- me

"I hearby declare myself a phantom in the darkness."-me
GodChoosesLife
Posts: 3,461
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5/3/2014 2:13:50 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
Good start. Sad ending. You seem to have my character in familiar to my actual character. LOL good job! Looking forward to reading more. :)
*thumbs up*
Better than deserved, as ALWAYS.
"The strongest principle of growth lies in human choices."
"The Lord doesn't promise us a perfect life that is free of problems, but he does promise that He'll get us through anything." ~SweeTea
"Good Times" ~ Max
"If Jesus isn't in heaven, then it's not heaven; instead, it's hell." ~anonymous
"Suffering is unimaginably confusing, but it's a way to be drawn closer to God" ~Me
"Tell me what consumes your heart most, and I'll tell you who your God is." ~Dad
Linkish1O2
Posts: 2,003
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5/3/2014 2:30:31 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 5/3/2014 2:13:50 PM, GodChoosesLife wrote:
Good start. Sad ending. You seem to have my character in familiar to my actual character. LOL good job! Looking forward to reading more. :)
*thumbs up*

Yaayyy
"I am a mystery and to unlock the mystery at my core, one must simply embrace slendermans hug with no fear."- me

"I hearby declare myself a phantom in the darkness."-me
GodChoosesLife
Posts: 3,461
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5/3/2014 3:32:35 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 5/3/2014 2:30:31 PM, Linkish1O2 wrote:
At 5/3/2014 2:13:50 PM, GodChoosesLife wrote:
Good start. Sad ending. You seem to have my character in familiar to my actual character. LOL good job! Looking forward to reading more. :)
*thumbs up*

Yaayyy

(:
Better than deserved, as ALWAYS.
"The strongest principle of growth lies in human choices."
"The Lord doesn't promise us a perfect life that is free of problems, but he does promise that He'll get us through anything." ~SweeTea
"Good Times" ~ Max
"If Jesus isn't in heaven, then it's not heaven; instead, it's hell." ~anonymous
"Suffering is unimaginably confusing, but it's a way to be drawn closer to God" ~Me
"Tell me what consumes your heart most, and I'll tell you who your God is." ~Dad
Linkish1O2
Posts: 2,003
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5/3/2014 3:34:07 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 5/3/2014 3:32:35 PM, GodChoosesLife wrote:
At 5/3/2014 2:30:31 PM, Linkish1O2 wrote:
At 5/3/2014 2:13:50 PM, GodChoosesLife wrote:
Good start. Sad ending. You seem to have my character in familiar to my actual character. LOL good job! Looking forward to reading more. :)
*thumbs up*

Yaayyy

(:

Quick question why does your account say your inactive, though your posting in forums?
"I am a mystery and to unlock the mystery at my core, one must simply embrace slendermans hug with no fear."- me

"I hearby declare myself a phantom in the darkness."-me
GodChoosesLife
Posts: 3,461
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5/3/2014 3:34:46 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 5/3/2014 3:34:07 PM, Linkish1O2 wrote:
At 5/3/2014 3:32:35 PM, GodChoosesLife wrote:
At 5/3/2014 2:30:31 PM, Linkish1O2 wrote:
At 5/3/2014 2:13:50 PM, GodChoosesLife wrote:
Good start. Sad ending. You seem to have my character in familiar to my actual character. LOL good job! Looking forward to reading more. :)
*thumbs up*

Yaayyy

(:

Quick question why does your account say your inactive, though your posting in forums?

I deactivated then came back. So yeah.
Better than deserved, as ALWAYS.
"The strongest principle of growth lies in human choices."
"The Lord doesn't promise us a perfect life that is free of problems, but he does promise that He'll get us through anything." ~SweeTea
"Good Times" ~ Max
"If Jesus isn't in heaven, then it's not heaven; instead, it's hell." ~anonymous
"Suffering is unimaginably confusing, but it's a way to be drawn closer to God" ~Me
"Tell me what consumes your heart most, and I'll tell you who your God is." ~Dad
Linkish1O2
Posts: 2,003
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5/3/2014 3:35:18 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 5/3/2014 3:34:46 PM, GodChoosesLife wrote:
At 5/3/2014 3:34:07 PM, Linkish1O2 wrote:
At 5/3/2014 3:32:35 PM, GodChoosesLife wrote:
At 5/3/2014 2:30:31 PM, Linkish1O2 wrote:
At 5/3/2014 2:13:50 PM, GodChoosesLife wrote:
Good start. Sad ending. You seem to have my character in familiar to my actual character. LOL good job! Looking forward to reading more. :)
*thumbs up*

Yaayyy

(:

Quick question why does your account say your inactive, though your posting in forums?

I deactivated then came back. So yeah.

Ahh ok..
"I am a mystery and to unlock the mystery at my core, one must simply embrace slendermans hug with no fear."- me

"I hearby declare myself a phantom in the darkness."-me
ESocialBookworm
Posts: 14,361
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5/3/2014 5:04:06 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 5/3/2014 1:33:59 PM, Linkish1O2 wrote:
There you have it folks chapter one of ddos new horror story.

I can't wait. I don't usually read horrors (Ima coward) but I love it so far! I will definitely be an avid reader! ("Bookworm")
Solonkr~
I don't care about whether an ideology is "necessary" or not,
I care about how to solve problems,
which is what everyone else should also care about.

Ken~
In essence, the world is fucked up and you can either ignore it, become cynical or bitter about it.

Me~
"BAILEY + SOLON = SAILEY
MY SHIP SAILEY MUST SAIL"

SCREW THAT SHIZ #BANNIE = BAILEY & ANNIE

P.S. Shipped Sailey before it was cannon bitches.
Linkish1O2
Posts: 2,003
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5/3/2014 9:40:16 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 5/3/2014 7:34:42 PM, NiqashMotawadi3 wrote:
Crappiest story I've ever read. I stopped midway and just scrolled down with my eyes rolled.

That's ok my content is not for everyone
"I am a mystery and to unlock the mystery at my core, one must simply embrace slendermans hug with no fear."- me

"I hearby declare myself a phantom in the darkness."-me
Smithereens
Posts: 5,512
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5/4/2014 5:30:18 AM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 5/3/2014 7:34:42 PM, NiqashMotawadi3 wrote:
Crappiest story I've ever read. I stopped midway and just scrolled down with my eyes rolled.

you'd probably like the second half much better than the first ;)

(no offense linkish lol)
Music composition contest: http://www.debate.org...
ESocialBookworm
Posts: 14,361
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5/4/2014 5:43:12 AM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 5/3/2014 7:34:42 PM, NiqashMotawadi3 wrote:
Crappiest story I've ever read. I stopped midway and just scrolled down with my eyes rolled.

Based on your critiques, you seem to have a knowledge base on writing. Why don't you write a DDO story?
Solonkr~
I don't care about whether an ideology is "necessary" or not,
I care about how to solve problems,
which is what everyone else should also care about.

Ken~
In essence, the world is fucked up and you can either ignore it, become cynical or bitter about it.

Me~
"BAILEY + SOLON = SAILEY
MY SHIP SAILEY MUST SAIL"

SCREW THAT SHIZ #BANNIE = BAILEY & ANNIE

P.S. Shipped Sailey before it was cannon bitches.
Linkish1O2
Posts: 2,003
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5/4/2014 6:48:01 AM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 5/4/2014 5:30:18 AM, Smithereens wrote:
At 5/3/2014 7:34:42 PM, NiqashMotawadi3 wrote:
Crappiest story I've ever read. I stopped midway and just scrolled down with my eyes rolled.

you'd probably like the second half much better than the first ;)

(no offense linkish lol)

D no fair!
"I am a mystery and to unlock the mystery at my core, one must simply embrace slendermans hug with no fear."- me

"I hearby declare myself a phantom in the darkness."-me
lannan13
Posts: 23,050
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5/4/2014 6:53:02 AM
Posted: 2 years ago
Good show. I enjoyed it.
-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-Lannan13'S SIGNATURE-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-

If the sky's the limit then why do we have footprints on the Moon? I'm shooting my aspirations for the stars.

"If you are going through hell, keep going." "Sir Winston Churchill

"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." "Eleanor Roosevelt

Topics I want to debate. (http://tinyurl.com...)
-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~
Jifpop09
Posts: 2,243
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5/4/2014 4:34:47 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
People want to see Jifpop09 with military power. Glorious leader of the revolution. Not a frightened college student.
Leader of the DDO Revolution Party