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Star Debate Season 1 E2 p1: Geurrilla Zoo

Jonbonbon
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5/6/2014 9:08:26 AM
Posted: 2 years ago
"We're coming into range, sir," Airmax heard Mikal say.

They were going to the planet, Jersulam, to help a relief effort in the southern continent. Guerrilla warriors from a terrorist organization had almost defeated the local militia in the city, Gual. Their job was to send a small crew down to help with medical procedures and defense strategies.

"On screen," Airmax said. Even though he hadn't been in the captain's seat for very long, the phrase felt a little monotonous. He just figured that standard procedure just feels that way.

He looked at the screen and saw a reddish-brown planet with a few major cities lining the outer edges of the continents. The planet only had a population of about 2,000,000 people due to the fact that most of it was desert.

Any sort of war literally threatened the planet.

"The Jersal just sent us a message," Linkish said. "They're ready to receive us. I'll redirect the coordinates to the transport room."

"Very well," Airmax said. This would be his first away mission as a commanding officer he wouldn't be apart of. As much as he didn't like having to stay behind, he understood why Starfleet regulation wouldn't let him leave the ship during an away mission.

"I shouldn't be gone too long," Mike said stepping out of his seat and stepping into the turbo lift with Linkish. Those two were the leaders of the away team. Airmax just sat back in his chair and waited for some opportunity to get off the bridge and walk around.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Mike stepped onto the transporter pad. "Is everyone here?" He asked looking around. He saw Classic Robert, Linkish, Oncoming Storm, and Ragnar. That was it. Two medical officers, two security officers, and one commanding officer.

Kreig, the transport operator, said, "I've got your coordinates right here, and I'm ready to beam you down."

"Go for it," Mike responded.

The transport initialized, and their bodies carried down to the surface. At first glance the place looked like one of the war zones in World War 3 that Mike had seen in historical texts. At a second glance, they looked like that on steroids. Without counting any abuse of individuals he might have seen, the city itself looked as if it had been heavily bombed. For as far as he could see, the city was absolutely devastated.

The city buildings were fallen to the ground. People were living in boxes. Lots of them had piles of small stones by their boxes. "This needs more than just a five man team," Mike said under his breath. "This isn't just a series of skirmishes. This is genocide."

Classic pulled out his tricorder and started scanning. Probably looking for the most injured person around. He tapped his comm badge and said, "Enforcer, beam me down more medical equipment." He tapped it off and looked at Ragnar, "Come help me out."

"Keep your phaser ready," Linkish said to Oncoming. They nodded and pulled out their phasers.

Mike was still too taken back by the scene to act or give a command. Some medical equipment beamed down in front of him, and he made it his job to start distributing supplies to people who needed it. He wasn't a medical officer, but he knew basic medical training from the academy.

Mike got to a lady who needed some healing ointment and after showing her which to use, he stood up and tapped his comm badge, "Airmax, contact Starfleet and tell them to bring a relief ship. This isn't anything the crew of the Enforcer was meant to handle. You might actually want to send for the Vulcans too."

"What is it we can't handle?" Airmax asked.

"Everything. We don't have the medical staff, the security staff or the supplies to help these people. They need help though," Mike said as he watched a little kid run toward his parents. They were crying as if they didn't even know he was alive before just then. "This is a threat of genocide, and we can't let that happen."

"I'll send right away. Do everything you can to help, and let us know when there's nothing else you can do."

"Understood, sir." Mike continued to walk around distributing supplies.

Then there was a gun shot.

It sounded like a rudimentary laser gun. Those guns burned you, and sometimes they did some pretty nasty damage. It shouldn't be fatal though, unless they were hit too many times. Mike turned around and pulled his phaser out. Immediately he and the other two security officers were firing. Then Ragnar started firing as well.

They were taking down the rebel group pretty fast. Then he saw rocks flying. That must have been what the rocks were for. The civilians were standing by their boxes and screaming as they threw rocks at the invading rebel group.

Then Mike saw the whole of the army they were fighting. Thousands of them poured down the hills. Mike held his hand to his comm badge to ask the Enforcer to beam everyone up, but the transporters wouldn't be able to handle that, and he couldn't guarantee the safety of everyone. People would be left behind and killed. He looked around and the people. Such a darkness clouded this city.

"We surrender!" Mike yelled holding up his hands.

"We what?" Linkish asked, but Oncoming and Ragnar were already following in suit. Classic hadn't stopped healing people yet.

"We don't stand a chance," Mike bit off and nodded his head to the side signaling for him to surrender.

Some rebels came around and took their weapons then gathered up the medical supplies. A man came barging into the group and started hitting at rebels and kicking stones. Two rebels restrained him and a third shot him.

"You will come with us," the apparent leader said. He turned to his men and added, "Leave the others. I want the men from Starfleet and their equipment only."

Mike didn't react except to follow where the rebels led in hopes of keeping everyone alive. At least his plan had been successful in saving the civilians. Now he was only tasked with saving the four others.
The Troll Queen.

I'm also the Troll Goddess of Reason. Sacrifices are appreciated but not necessary.

"I'm a vivacious sex fiend," SolonKR.

Go vote on one of my debates. I'm not that smart, so it'll probably be an easy decision.

Fite me m9

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Jonbonbon
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5/6/2014 10:34:16 AM
Posted: 2 years ago
I guess I'll add a link to the last part of the last episode, just to make back-tracking easier for any back-trackers I may have out there reading this.
The Troll Queen.

I'm also the Troll Goddess of Reason. Sacrifices are appreciated but not necessary.

"I'm a vivacious sex fiend," SolonKR.

Go vote on one of my debates. I'm not that smart, so it'll probably be an easy decision.

Fite me m9

http://www.debate.org...
Jonbonbon
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5/6/2014 10:34:37 AM
Posted: 2 years ago
Aaaand it's in this post: http://www.debate.org...
The Troll Queen.

I'm also the Troll Goddess of Reason. Sacrifices are appreciated but not necessary.

"I'm a vivacious sex fiend," SolonKR.

Go vote on one of my debates. I'm not that smart, so it'll probably be an easy decision.

Fite me m9

http://www.debate.org...
NiqashMotawadi3
Posts: 1,895
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5/6/2014 2:19:58 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
On a side-note, sentences like "were fallen to the ground" makes this looks like something written by a native American speaker. which impresses me as a non-native speaker. I probably have never used such a sentence in my life, perhaps because I falsely assumed that "fallen" cannot be used as a verb, which makes such rhetoric new and beautiful to me.
Jonbonbon
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5/6/2014 2:50:33 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 5/6/2014 2:15:33 PM, NiqashMotawadi3 wrote:
Still mostly one-sentence talk. I find this too casual.

Or too formal :P in a situation where people need some sort of assistance there's usually more doing and less talking, which is why my dialogue is short. You might find the next part a little better, because it's going to be more dialogue based. Although, I do wish I could format it differently because the pseudo-paragraphs look bigger on my document, but on here the margins are too wide.

And as for the fallen thing that might not have been the best usage of English, but I used it similarly to the verb form of "fell" which would be "to knock down" or something of the sort. Like "he fell a tree" would be "he cut down a tree." To me using "fell" is a little cooler so I took some linguistic freedom.
The Troll Queen.

I'm also the Troll Goddess of Reason. Sacrifices are appreciated but not necessary.

"I'm a vivacious sex fiend," SolonKR.

Go vote on one of my debates. I'm not that smart, so it'll probably be an easy decision.

Fite me m9

http://www.debate.org...
NiqashMotawadi3
Posts: 1,895
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5/6/2014 2:52:02 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 5/6/2014 2:50:33 PM, Jonbonbon wrote:
At 5/6/2014 2:15:33 PM, NiqashMotawadi3 wrote:
Still mostly one-sentence talk. I find this too casual.

Or too formal :P in a situation where people need some sort of assistance there's usually more doing and less talking, which is why my dialogue is short. You might find the next part a little better, because it's going to be more dialogue based. Although, I do wish I could format it differently because the pseudo-paragraphs look bigger on my document, but on here the margins are too wide.

And as for the fallen thing that might not have been the best usage of English, but I used it similarly to the verb form of "fell" which would be "to knock down" or something of the sort. Like "he fell a tree" would be "he cut down a tree." To me using "fell" is a little cooler so I took some linguistic freedom.

No "fallen" was good. I wasn't being sarcastic.
Jonbonbon
Posts: 2,760
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5/6/2014 2:55:49 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 5/6/2014 2:52:02 PM, NiqashMotawadi3 wrote:
At 5/6/2014 2:50:33 PM, Jonbonbon wrote:
At 5/6/2014 2:15:33 PM, NiqashMotawadi3 wrote:
Still mostly one-sentence talk. I find this too casual.

Or too formal :P in a situation where people need some sort of assistance there's usually more doing and less talking, which is why my dialogue is short. You might find the next part a little better, because it's going to be more dialogue based. Although, I do wish I could format it differently because the pseudo-paragraphs look bigger on my document, but on here the margins are too wide.

And as for the fallen thing that might not have been the best usage of English, but I used it similarly to the verb form of "fell" which would be "to knock down" or something of the sort. Like "he fell a tree" would be "he cut down a tree." To me using "fell" is a little cooler so I took some linguistic freedom.

No "fallen" was good. I wasn't being sarcastic.

Haha I know you weren't. I was just responding with total honesty :P now that I'm looking through my response though I can see why you thought that I thought you were being sarcastic.
The Troll Queen.

I'm also the Troll Goddess of Reason. Sacrifices are appreciated but not necessary.

"I'm a vivacious sex fiend," SolonKR.

Go vote on one of my debates. I'm not that smart, so it'll probably be an easy decision.

Fite me m9

http://www.debate.org...
EndarkenedRationalist
Posts: 14,201
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5/6/2014 5:04:43 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 5/6/2014 9:08:26 AM, Jonbonbon wrote:
"We're coming into range, sir," Airmax heard Mikal say.

They were going to the planet, Jersulam, to help a relief effort in the southern continent. Guerrilla warriors from a terrorist organization had almost defeated the local militia in the city, Gual. Their job was to send a small crew down to help with medical procedures and defense strategies.

I keep seeing Jerusalem. Every time.

"On screen," Airmax said. Even though he hadn't been in the captain's seat for very long, the phrase felt a little monotonous. He figured that standard procedure just feels that way.

Fixed. :-)

He looked at the screen and saw a reddish-brown planet with a few major cities lining the outer edges of the continents. The planet only had a population of about 2,000,000 people due to the fact that most of it was desert.

Any sort of war literally threatened the planet.

*gasp* oh boy

"The Jersal just sent us a message," Linkish said. "They're ready to receive us. I'll redirect the coordinates to the transport room."

"Very well," Airmax said. This would be his first away mission as a commanding officer he wouldn't be apart of. As much as he didn't like having to stay behind, he understood why Starfleet regulation wouldn't let him leave the ship during an away mission.

"I shouldn't be gone too long," Mike said stepping out of his seat and stepping into the turbo lift with Linkish. Those two were the leaders of the away team. Airmax just sat back in his chair and waited for some opportunity to get off the bridge and walk around.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Mike stepped onto the transporter pad. "Is everyone here?" He asked looking around. He saw Classic Robert, Linkish, Oncoming Storm, and Ragnar. That was it. Two medical officers, two security officers, and one commanding officer.

Oh. Guess I'm gone for a while. I'll remember this, Jonbonbon. >:-)

Kreig, the transport operator, said, "I've got your coordinates right here, and I'm ready to beam you down."

"Go for it," Mike responded.

The transport initialized, and their bodies carried down to the surface. At first glance the place looked like one of the war zones in World War 3 that Mike had seen in historical texts. At a second glance, they looked like that on steroids. Without counting any abuse of individuals he might have seen, the city itself looked as if it had been heavily bombed. For as far as he could see, the city was absolutely devastated.

The city buildings were fallen to the ground. People were living in boxes. Lots of them had piles of small stones by their boxes. "This needs more than just a five man team," Mike said under his breath. "This isn't just a series of skirmishes. This is genocide."

-(

Classic pulled out his tricorder and started scanning. Probably looking for the most injured person around. He tapped his comm badge and said, "Enforcer, beam me down more medical equipment." He tapped it off and looked at Ragnar, "Come help me out."

"Keep your phaser ready," Linkish said to Oncoming. They nodded and pulled out their phasers.

Mike was still too taken back by the scene to act or give a command. Some medical equipment beamed down in front of him, and he made it his job to start distributing supplies to people who needed it. He wasn't a medical officer, but he knew basic medical training from the academy.

Mike got to a lady who needed some healing ointment and after showing her which to use, he stood up and tapped his comm badge, "Airmax, contact Starfleet and tell them to bring a relief ship. This isn't anything the crew of the Enforcer was meant to handle. You might actually want to send for the Vulcans too."

"What is it we can't handle?" Airmax asked.

"Everything. We don't have the medical staff, the security staff or the supplies to help these people. They need help though," Mike said as he watched a little kid run toward his parents. They were crying as if they didn't even know he was alive before just then. "This is a threat of genocide, and we can't let that happen."

"I'll send right away. Do everything you can to help, and let us know when there's nothing else you can do."

"Understood, sir." Mike continued to walk around distributing supplies.

Then there was a gun shot.

It sounded like a rudimentary laser gun. Those guns burned you, and sometimes they did some pretty nasty damage. It shouldn't be fatal though, unless they were hit too many times. Mike turned around and pulled his phaser out. Immediately he and the other two security officers were firing. Then Ragnar started firing as well.

They were taking down the rebel group pretty fast. Then he saw rocks flying. That must have been what the rocks were for. The civilians were standing by their boxes and screaming as they threw rocks at the invading rebel group.

Then Mike saw the whole of the army they were fighting. Thousands of them poured down the hills. Mike held his hand to his comm badge to ask the Enforcer to beam everyone up, but the transporters wouldn't be able to handle that, and he couldn't guarantee the safety of everyone. People would be left behind and killed. He looked around and the people. Such a darkness clouded this city.

"We surrender!" Mike yelled holding up his hands.

"We what?" Linkish asked, but Oncoming and Ragnar were already following in suit. Classic hadn't stopped healing people yet.

"We don't stand a chance," Mike bit off and nodded his head to the side signaling for him to surrender.

Some rebels came around and took their weapons then gathered up the medical supplies. A man came barging into the group and started hitting at rebels and kicking stones. Two rebels restrained him and a third shot him.

"You will come with us," the apparent leader said. He turned to his men and added, "Leave the others. I want the men from Starfleet and their equipment only."

Hmm. Who might this be?

Mike didn't react except to follow where the rebels led in hopes of keeping everyone alive. At least his plan had been successful in saving the civilians. Now he was only tasked with saving the four others.

It's so exciting! What's going to happen?
Jonbonbon
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5/6/2014 6:15:28 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 5/6/2014 5:04:43 PM, EndarkenedRationalist wrote:
I keep seeing Jerusalem. Every time.

Lol yeah, I noticed that after I wrote it and figured I'd just keep it :P

Fixed. :-)

Haha thanks :P edited the sentence and forgot to remove one XD

Oh. Guess I'm gone for a while. I'll remember this, Jonbonbon. >:-)

Lol you'd better.

Hmm. Who might this be?

Well, we'll both find out pretty soon :P

It's so exciting! What's going to happen?

Brought to you by MS Paint: http://www-math.sp2mi.univ-poitiers.fr...
The Troll Queen.

I'm also the Troll Goddess of Reason. Sacrifices are appreciated but not necessary.

"I'm a vivacious sex fiend," SolonKR.

Go vote on one of my debates. I'm not that smart, so it'll probably be an easy decision.

Fite me m9

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zmikecuber
Posts: 4,093
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5/6/2014 10:15:53 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
Awesome! It's nice to see some action :P I totally like my role in this one better than being a psychopathic rapist in Mikal's story, haha!

Now I'm wondering who the rebel leader will be and what will be next. Torture? A ransom?!? :P
"Delete your fvcking sig" -1hard

"primal man had the habit, when he came into contact with fire, of satisfying the infantile desire connected with it, by putting it out with a stream of his urine... Putting out the fire by micturating was therefore a kind of sexual act with a male, an enjoyment of sexual potency in a homosexual competition."
Jonbonbon
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5/7/2014 8:40:34 AM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 5/6/2014 10:15:53 PM, zmikecuber wrote:
Awesome! It's nice to see some action :P I totally like my role in this one better than being a psychopathic rapist in Mikal's story, haha!

Haha I wanted to make you a slightly noble character with some silly tendencies :P

Now I'm wondering who the rebel leader will be and what will be next. Torture? A ransom?!? :P

Same here :P I'm writing it now.
The Troll Queen.

I'm also the Troll Goddess of Reason. Sacrifices are appreciated but not necessary.

"I'm a vivacious sex fiend," SolonKR.

Go vote on one of my debates. I'm not that smart, so it'll probably be an easy decision.

Fite me m9

http://www.debate.org...
zmikecuber
Posts: 4,093
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5/7/2014 8:44:58 AM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 5/7/2014 8:40:34 AM, Jonbonbon wrote:
At 5/6/2014 10:15:53 PM, zmikecuber wrote:
Awesome! It's nice to see some action :P I totally like my role in this one better than being a psychopathic rapist in Mikal's story, haha!

Haha I wanted to make you a slightly noble character with some silly tendencies :P

Now I'm wondering who the rebel leader will be and what will be next. Torture? A ransom?!? :P

Same here :P I'm writing it now.

Lol... maybe you should put The Serb in. I dunno that might not be very nice though :P
"Delete your fvcking sig" -1hard

"primal man had the habit, when he came into contact with fire, of satisfying the infantile desire connected with it, by putting it out with a stream of his urine... Putting out the fire by micturating was therefore a kind of sexual act with a male, an enjoyment of sexual potency in a homosexual competition."
Comrade_Silly_Otter
Posts: 725
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5/7/2014 8:49:44 AM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 5/7/2014 8:44:58 AM, zmikecuber wrote:
At 5/7/2014 8:40:34 AM, Jonbonbon wrote:
At 5/6/2014 10:15:53 PM, zmikecuber wrote:
Awesome! It's nice to see some action :P I totally like my role in this one better than being a psychopathic rapist in Mikal's story, haha!

Haha I wanted to make you a slightly noble character with some silly tendencies :P

Now I'm wondering who the rebel leader will be and what will be next. Torture? A ransom?!? :P

Same here :P I'm writing it now.

Lol... maybe you should put The Serb in. I dunno that might not be very nice though :P

I am just waiting where I come in, should be fun.

Its the waiting that gets me
Jonbonbon
Posts: 2,760
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5/7/2014 8:57:01 AM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 5/7/2014 8:44:58 AM, zmikecuber wrote:
At 5/7/2014 8:40:34 AM, Jonbonbon wrote:
At 5/6/2014 10:15:53 PM, zmikecuber wrote:
Awesome! It's nice to see some action :P I totally like my role in this one better than being a psychopathic rapist in Mikal's story, haha!

Haha I wanted to make you a slightly noble character with some silly tendencies :P

Now I'm wondering who the rebel leader will be and what will be next. Torture? A ransom?!? :P

Same here :P I'm writing it now.

Lol... maybe you should put The Serb in. I dunno that might not be very nice though :P

Lol I'm not going to use the Serb XD
The Troll Queen.

I'm also the Troll Goddess of Reason. Sacrifices are appreciated but not necessary.

"I'm a vivacious sex fiend," SolonKR.

Go vote on one of my debates. I'm not that smart, so it'll probably be an easy decision.

Fite me m9

http://www.debate.org...
Jonbonbon
Posts: 2,760
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5/7/2014 8:58:05 AM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 5/7/2014 8:49:44 AM, Comrade_Silly_Otter wrote:
At 5/7/2014 8:44:58 AM, zmikecuber wrote:
At 5/7/2014 8:40:34 AM, Jonbonbon wrote:
At 5/6/2014 10:15:53 PM, zmikecuber wrote:
Awesome! It's nice to see some action :P I totally like my role in this one better than being a psychopathic rapist in Mikal's story, haha!

Haha I wanted to make you a slightly noble character with some silly tendencies :P

Now I'm wondering who the rebel leader will be and what will be next. Torture? A ransom?!? :P

Same here :P I'm writing it now.

Lol... maybe you should put The Serb in. I dunno that might not be very nice though :P

I am just waiting where I come in, should be fun.

Its the waiting that gets me

http://d13s5ta1qg2cax.cloudfront.net...
The Troll Queen.

I'm also the Troll Goddess of Reason. Sacrifices are appreciated but not necessary.

"I'm a vivacious sex fiend," SolonKR.

Go vote on one of my debates. I'm not that smart, so it'll probably be an easy decision.

Fite me m9

http://www.debate.org...
Comrade_Silly_Otter
Posts: 725
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5/7/2014 9:36:54 AM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 5/7/2014 8:58:05 AM, Jonbonbon wrote:
At 5/7/2014 8:49:44 AM, Comrade_Silly_Otter wrote:
At 5/7/2014 8:44:58 AM, zmikecuber wrote:
At 5/7/2014 8:40:34 AM, Jonbonbon wrote:
At 5/6/2014 10:15:53 PM, zmikecuber wrote:
Awesome! It's nice to see some action :P I totally like my role in this one better than being a psychopathic rapist in Mikal's story, haha!

Haha I wanted to make you a slightly noble character with some silly tendencies :P

Now I'm wondering who the rebel leader will be and what will be next. Torture? A ransom?!? :P

Same here :P I'm writing it now.

Lol... maybe you should put The Serb in. I dunno that might not be very nice though :P

I am just waiting where I come in, should be fun.

Its the waiting that gets me

http://d13s5ta1qg2cax.cloudfront.net...

But that is only 12 points!
Jonbonbon
Posts: 2,760
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5/7/2014 9:49:02 AM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 5/7/2014 9:36:54 AM, Comrade_Silly_Otter wrote:
At 5/7/2014 8:58:05 AM, Jonbonbon wrote:
At 5/7/2014 8:49:44 AM, Comrade_Silly_Otter wrote:
At 5/7/2014 8:44:58 AM, zmikecuber wrote:
At 5/7/2014 8:40:34 AM, Jonbonbon wrote:
At 5/6/2014 10:15:53 PM, zmikecuber wrote:
Awesome! It's nice to see some action :P I totally like my role in this one better than being a psychopathic rapist in Mikal's story, haha!

Haha I wanted to make you a slightly noble character with some silly tendencies :P

Now I'm wondering who the rebel leader will be and what will be next. Torture? A ransom?!? :P

Same here :P I'm writing it now.

Lol... maybe you should put The Serb in. I dunno that might not be very nice though :P

I am just waiting where I come in, should be fun.

Its the waiting that gets me

http://d13s5ta1qg2cax.cloudfront.net...

But that is only 12 points!

It's gonna have to do.
The Troll Queen.

I'm also the Troll Goddess of Reason. Sacrifices are appreciated but not necessary.

"I'm a vivacious sex fiend," SolonKR.

Go vote on one of my debates. I'm not that smart, so it'll probably be an easy decision.

Fite me m9

http://www.debate.org...
Krieg01
Posts: 1,131
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5/7/2014 11:39:55 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 5/7/2014 9:49:02 AM, Jonbonbon wrote:
At 5/7/2014 9:36:54 AM, Comrade_Silly_Otter wrote:
At 5/7/2014 8:58:05 AM, Jonbonbon wrote:
At 5/7/2014 8:49:44 AM, Comrade_Silly_Otter wrote:
At 5/7/2014 8:44:58 AM, zmikecuber wrote:
At 5/7/2014 8:40:34 AM, Jonbonbon wrote:
At 5/6/2014 10:15:53 PM, zmikecuber wrote:
Awesome! It's nice to see some action :P I totally like my role in this one better than being a psychopathic rapist in Mikal's story, haha!

Haha I wanted to make you a slightly noble character with some silly tendencies :P

Now I'm wondering who the rebel leader will be and what will be next. Torture? A ransom?!? :P

Same here :P I'm writing it now.

Lol... maybe you should put The Serb in. I dunno that might not be very nice though :P

I am just waiting where I come in, should be fun.

Its the waiting that gets me

http://d13s5ta1qg2cax.cloudfront.net...

But that is only 12 points!

It's gonna have to do.

If it is not too much to ask could you please spell my name right thankyou! It is spelt Krieg not Kreig.
How come when I hit review it sometimes adds my post without me clicking add post?
Does this happen to other people?

#LEARN TO SPEAK UP
#Cause I can
Learn to use emoticons DDO.