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DDO Tea Time: Tabloid Edition

Blade-of-Truth
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5/16/2014 3:27:14 AM
Posted: 2 years ago
Ladies & Gentlemen,

The team here at DDO Tea Time have been in the battlefields all day. Amid the craziness that is DDO right now, we are here to report the most important of current events! Without further ague, I present DDO Tea Time: Tabloid Edition!!!!

Forget Where's Waldo, Where's Larz?!

What started as a harmless goodbye thread from Progressivedem soon escalated to a full blown death-match between fellow DDO Elite members last evening. Larztheloser, a two-time DDO presidential candidate, found himself bombarded from all sides as he attempted, with no success, to protect an old would from infection. Although fighting bravely, he eventually succumbed to his fellow Elite brethren and deactivated his account - effectively ending his 2nd run at the DDO Presidency. Like Romney, not much has been heard since the brutal loss. It is rumored that he is currently hiding out in his stronghold across the vast ocean in a land called Edeb8... although such rumors have yet to be verified. We reached out to his supports but they, also, have heard nothing. So, we ask you, Where's Larz?!

Justin Bieber sues Zaradi for stealing his "swag"!!

Famed DDO member Zaradi found himself in some trouble recently after sneaking back-stage while attending the latest Bieber concert with an undisclosed male friend. Possibly Thett3?! While back-stage, Justin's girlfriend, Selena Gomez, allegedly jumped on Zaradi, claiming that his swag level is over 9,000. Justin's bodyguard, who quickly noticed the commotion, reported that at first he wanted to stop it from happening but was blinded by the silky smoothness of Zaradi's hair. It was at this point that the Biebz stepped in. What happened after that is still a mystery, but we will keep you updated as the court reports are released.

Is Nonprophet the modern Messiah?

DDO has its fair share of inspirational voices, but lately there is one that dominates them all - Nonprophet. After a string of recent conversions and proclamations, Nonprophet has found himself as the living incarnation of all that is Good, while smiting all who come before him with his divine righteousness. With his latest miracle of transcending beyond voting, it seems that nothing stands in the way of his ascension into the very ranks of Juggle staff itself. When we asked his latest converted disciple, Wylted, for a comment he was noted saying, "At first I did not believe, but now I have seen the Truth, he is the light, the lamb, and the living Lord of this world."

Bsh1 & YYW hit a rocky patch after political differences arise!!

That's right folks, the unthinkable has been thought, the unfathomable has been fathomed! According to recent reports, it seems Bsh1 & YYW, the famed couple of DDO, have recently gone their separate ways. With YYW's support of Mikal for DDO President, and Bsh1 literally running as VP with Bladerunner, it seems there is no middle ground to be had. According to a close friend of the couple, the fight started when Bsh1 asked YYW who he was supporting while snuggling together after their most recent tickle-fight. Naturally assuming YYW would be in support of him, Bsh1 was allegedly shocked when YYW said he was going to vote for Mikal. After several failed attempts by Bsh1 to convince YYW that banning Jews isn't practical, Bsh1 had realized that it was hopeless. YYW's German Genetics just wouldn't allow for any room to budge and with that, Bsh1 promptly kissed YYW on the hand and hasn't contacted him since. Both YYW & Bsh1 has declined to comment, although oddly enough they both called to inform us that from the same number... conspiracy? Inter-party politics? Only time will tell.

Sargon returns from latest trip to Deep Space! With an alien girlfriend?!

Astro-physicist, Physio-psychological Biologist, and accomplished Astronaut Sargon returned from his latest venture into deep space on Tuesday. His most recent trip, funded by his private venture firm 'Amorphous', sent him to visit the far-away Spiral Galaxy M106. While a loss of communication is usual and never surprising, what IS surprising is the cargo he returned with. According to eye-witness reports, Sargon stepped out of his craft and close behind was a beautiful 7 ft. humanoid, noted for the unusual height and light glitter that reflected off her skin. The military, which Sargon's trust currently invests Billions into, was quick to surround and transport them both to an undisclosed location. Since that day Sargon has yet to surface, but reports are coming in of increased UFO activity in the surrounding area of where he landed upon his return. This leads us here at DDO Tea Time to believe that perhaps Sargon kidnapped her as an act of love-inspired passion? Perhaps, he unknowingly started an invasion by her angry family members? It looks like, as of now, we will never know.

**

Well, that's all we have time for here at DDO Tea Time this week. While we always try to maintain to strictest standards for accurate and reliable journalism, we also subscribe to Scientology - which teaches that we are nothing more than pathetic souls of banished aliens sent to earth as punishment for all of eternity - and therefore, susceptible to making mistakes. We apologize ahead of time for our lack of perfection.

Until next time, this is Blade-of-Truth with DDO Tea Time saying: Goodnight, Sleep-tight, and don't let the bed bugs bite! If they do, take your shoe, and hit them until you raise eternal hell-fire wrath of damnation and plague.
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bossyburrito
Posts: 14,075
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5/16/2014 3:34:15 AM
Posted: 2 years ago
Completely and totally brilliant. That was perfect.
#UnbanTheMadman

"Some will sell their dreams for small desires
Or lose the race to rats
Get caught in ticking traps
And start to dream of somewhere
To relax their restless flight
Somewhere out of a memory of lighted streets on quiet nights..."

~ Rush
Zaradi
Posts: 14,125
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5/16/2014 3:40:38 AM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 5/16/2014 3:27:14 AM, Blade-of-Truth wrote:

Justin Bieber sues Zaradi for stealing his "swag"!!

Famed DDO member Zaradi found himself in some trouble recently after sneaking back-stage while attending the latest Bieber concert with an undisclosed male friend. Possibly Thett3?! While back-stage, Justin's girlfriend, Selena Gomez, allegedly jumped on Zaradi, claiming that his swag level is over 9,000. Justin's bodyguard, who quickly noticed the commotion, reported that at first he wanted to stop it from happening but was blinded by the silky smoothness of Zaradi's hair. It was at this point that the Biebz stepped in. What happened after that is still a mystery, but we will keep you updated as the court reports are released.

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PotBelliedGeek
Posts: 4,298
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5/16/2014 10:26:13 AM
Posted: 2 years ago
I will be following ddo tea time religiously from now on.
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HUFFLEPUFF FOR LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!
philochristos
Posts: 2,614
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5/16/2014 12:39:08 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
Now THAT was entertaining.
"Not to know of what things one should demand demonstration, and of what one should not, argues want of education." ~Aristotle

"It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it." ~Aristotle
bsh1
Posts: 27,504
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5/16/2014 8:08:59 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 5/16/2014 3:27:14 AM, Blade-of-Truth wrote:

Bsh1 & YYW hit a rocky patch after political differences arise!!

That's right folks, the unthinkable has been thought, the unfathomable has been fathomed! According to recent reports, it seems Bsh1 & YYW, the famed couple of DDO, have recently gone their separate ways. With YYW's support of Mikal for DDO President, and Bsh1 literally running as VP with Bladerunner, it seems there is no middle ground to be had. According to a close friend of the couple, the fight started when Bsh1 asked YYW who he was supporting while snuggling together after their most recent tickle-fight. Naturally assuming YYW would be in support of him, Bsh1 was allegedly shocked when YYW said he was going to vote for Mikal. After several failed attempts by Bsh1 to convince YYW that banning Jews isn't practical, Bsh1 had realized that it was hopeless. YYW's German Genetics just wouldn't allow for any room to budge and with that, Bsh1 promptly kissed YYW on the hand and hasn't contacted him since. Both YYW & Bsh1 has declined to comment, although oddly enough they both called to inform us that from the same number... conspiracy? Inter-party politics? Only time will tell.

Lol...

Well, I'm sure my own German Genetics will prevent me from leaving YYW's side for too long.
Live Long and Prosper

I'm a Bish.


"Twilight isn't just about obtuse metaphors between cannibalism and premarital sex, it also teaches us the futility of hope." - Raisor

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ESocialBookworm
Posts: 14,367
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5/16/2014 9:05:31 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
Bump
Solonkr~
I don't care about whether an ideology is "necessary" or not,
I care about how to solve problems,
which is what everyone else should also care about.

Ken~
In essence, the world is fucked up and you can either ignore it, become cynical or bitter about it.

Me~
"BAILEY + SOLON = SAILEY
MY SHIP SAILEY MUST SAIL"

SCREW THAT SHIZ #BANNIE = BAILEY & ANNIE

P.S. Shipped Sailey before it was cannon bitches.
ESocialBookworm
Posts: 14,367
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5/16/2014 9:13:28 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
This was freaking amazing!!! More. You need to do moooooorrrreeeeeeeeeeeee!!!
Solonkr~
I don't care about whether an ideology is "necessary" or not,
I care about how to solve problems,
which is what everyone else should also care about.

Ken~
In essence, the world is fucked up and you can either ignore it, become cynical or bitter about it.

Me~
"BAILEY + SOLON = SAILEY
MY SHIP SAILEY MUST SAIL"

SCREW THAT SHIZ #BANNIE = BAILEY & ANNIE

P.S. Shipped Sailey before it was cannon bitches.
bossyburrito
Posts: 14,075
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5/16/2014 9:50:43 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
The line "The military, which Sargon's trust currently invests Billions into" is a triumph of comedy. It is a shining beacon of talent in an otherwise horrid world.
#UnbanTheMadman

"Some will sell their dreams for small desires
Or lose the race to rats
Get caught in ticking traps
And start to dream of somewhere
To relax their restless flight
Somewhere out of a memory of lighted streets on quiet nights..."

~ Rush
Blade-of-Truth
Posts: 5,036
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5/17/2014 7:22:01 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
I was waiting to reply so that it would also bump this, haha.

THANK YOU GUYS!! (And Gals)

My team of professional journalists and reporters couldn't have done this alone, it takes each and every one of you as well... whom they are always watching with level-5 creeper intensity.

The DDO Tea Time: Tabloid Edition, shall continue to strive for the most accurate reporting, and will most certainly strike again!

Truly & Sincerely,

The DDO Tea Time Propaganda HQ
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Blade-of-Truth
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10/6/2014 8:29:34 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
Bump

Volume 2 will be coming shortly.
Debate.org Deputy Vote Moderator
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UchihaMadara
Posts: 1,049
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10/6/2014 8:56:20 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 10/6/2014 8:29:34 PM, Blade-of-Truth wrote:
Bump

Volume 2 will be coming shortly.

Omg this is awesome.
I'll look forward to it XD
bossyburrito
Posts: 14,075
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10/6/2014 10:02:10 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 5/16/2014 9:50:43 PM, bossyburrito wrote:
The line "The military, which Sargon's trust currently invests Billions into" is a triumph of comedy. It is a shining beacon of talent in an otherwise horrid world.

It had the same impact now as it did months ago - genius.
#UnbanTheMadman

"Some will sell their dreams for small desires
Or lose the race to rats
Get caught in ticking traps
And start to dream of somewhere
To relax their restless flight
Somewhere out of a memory of lighted streets on quiet nights..."

~ Rush
imabench
Posts: 21,220
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10/6/2014 10:18:02 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 10/6/2014 8:56:20 PM, UchihaMadara wrote:
At 10/6/2014 8:29:34 PM, Blade-of-Truth wrote:
Bump

Volume 2 will be coming shortly.

Omg this is awesome.
I'll look forward to it XD
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