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DDO House of Cards Episode 3

daytonanerd
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5/25/2014 8:06:00 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
Yeah... Sorry for the long gap between this one and episode 2. Yeah, life happens. So, without further ado, DDO House of Cards' 3rd episode

DDO House of Cards Episode 3
Written by: Daytonanerd
========================================================
The time has come for me to break my silence with the press, and allow two of them in my midst. I am going to feed these vultures some stories, but little do they know, the only one reaping the benefits around here is me.
========================================================
I meet the first of my two press targets, a reporter by the name of Progressivedem. I go in thinking that he should be the easy one to corral to my side. After all, he and Democratic Underground, the site he reports for, is very loyal to my cause, being our very left mindset.

I walk into the office of Democratic Underground, which is really just a basement of a crackhouse in the suburbs of DC.

"Oh, congressman Seventhprofessor! I heard from your aide that-"

"Yeah, I don't give a damn. Is Progressivedem here?"

"We are very honored to-"

"Just get to the Goddamn point already! Is Progressivedem here?"

The 'Clerk' is on the verge of tears now, at her most vulnerable. I think she may be an off-the-job prostitute. But she holds back her tears, and calls over a man with a joint in his mouth, and a needle sticking out of his right arm.

"Yeah, I hear you want me. Who the bloody hell are you?"

I am praying at this point that Progressivedem doesn't just fall and die right here and now from a drug overdose, but I push aside my that thought to address the human waste that is spreading before me.

"I am 7thprofessor, and I am the one who is going to get you out of this $hithole."

"Oh thank Christ and Allah! The drugs here are so $hitty!"

"But I need you to be in my ring. I need you to report the stories that I want you to report, report them how I want them to be reported, and don't you dare make a false step against me."

"Anything for you! Have you got a story fuh me already?"

"As a matter of fact, yes I do. You know Izbo, that @sswipe of a congressman from Wyoming?"

"Yeah?"

"He's a drunk pedophile. 3 days ago, Monday, he stumbled into my office, rambling on about the kid he just tracked down from a site known as Debate.org."

"That's so sick, man!"

"I know, I know. Luckily, in his drunkenness, he delivered to me all the evidence that could be used against him, to prove he's a pedophile. Use this, and I want him to be humiliated, and I want him to have resigned by tomorrow evening."

"No probs, man."

See, no trouble? That's the teamwork that us liberals, the democrats, can get done. Now, I have to step over into the fractured wasteland known as the Republican Party.
========================================================
I reach the headquarters of Fox News at around 4:30 PM, on that same day I visited Progressivedem. I enter through the back entrance, because if I entered through the front, well... Things wouldn't end very well. The Fox News headquarters is in, of course, the Watergate Hotel. Whoopee.

I find the man Im looking for on the 13th floor. His door is actually unlocked. I walk in, greeted by a shrine for Barack Obama. On the sides of the walls, I see burned photos of John McCain, Mitt Romney, and all the congressional members of the tea party, and a currently burning picture of Mitch McConnell.

"Woah, what the hell are you doing here?! I expected you to be in a half an hour from now!"

I answer his question after taking a picture of the room, and it's occupant, EndarkenedRationalist, on my iPhone.

"Huh. I doubt old Rupert would want to see this. Tsk tsk. It would be a real shame if you were to... Say... Get fired. Who wants a man who can't stick to their beliefs, besides every Republican presidential nominee?"

"No man, NO! Don't tell my bosses about this! I'll report any story you want, ANY ONE!"

"Now THAT's what I want to here. Luckily, I have a story, just waiting to be reported by you."

"Oh? What story is that?"

"You know Danielle?"

"Who DOESN'T?! She is one of the most respected, experienced, sexy... Senators. She's from New York, of course. What about her, and her sexy ways?"

"We need to cut her down to size."

I throw the sad excuse for a reporter a vanilla folder from my briefcase

"In there are some recent receipts of our dear Danielle ordering some male prostitutes. I want this story to be reported, and by tomorrow, I want there to be a special election announced for the vacated seat of senator from New York, the one Danielle will have vacated."

*Gulp*

"What was that, Rationalist? HESITATION?!"

"No... No sir. I'll get the story sir."

"Good luck, and I'll make sure to make a visit in the near future."

Ah. Success, success. Tomorrow is Bloody Friday. I can't wait to see what our little newsies have delivered us.
========================================================
Chaos. That was the word of the day around good ole' DC. It was hell, but two congressional seats have now become vacant. But this all goes in with my plan.

See, Izbo was the man Airmax wanted most as Secretary of Defense, and Danielle was about to be nominated as Attorney General. Now, Airmax's cabinet is in flux. If all goes well, there will be more hammers to fall on his other cabinet members.

========================================================
#FeeltheFreezerBern
daytonanerd
Posts: 6,769
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5/25/2014 8:08:26 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
Also, another announcement about the series:

I need writers!

For anyone who wants to be a writer, just drop a post saying that you want to, and I'll get around to picking the writers that I want.

These writers will help me along, but of course, I'll be the one actually writing the episodes.

Also. I must give credit to Imabench, Zaradi, and Donald.Keller. They, along with myself, helped come up with the storyline for Season 1, and I thank them SO SO much for it.
#FeeltheFreezerBern
YYW
Posts: 36,287
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5/25/2014 8:16:13 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
lol, this is hilarious. I wonder what Izbo would have to say about that... or in response to the notion that he lives on in such infamy.
Tsar of DDO
daytonanerd
Posts: 6,769
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5/25/2014 8:18:32 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 5/25/2014 8:16:13 PM, YYW wrote:
lol, this is hilarious. I wonder what Izbo would have to say about that... or in response to the notion that he lives on in such infamy.

I figured that this story needs to have a bit of humor, since it is a product of Imabench.
#FeeltheFreezerBern
daytonanerd
Posts: 6,769
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5/25/2014 8:21:09 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 5/25/2014 8:20:08 PM, EndarkenedRationalist wrote:
Whelp, I work for Fox News.
*sticks gun in mouth*

Yes you do. Yes you do.
#FeeltheFreezerBern
EndarkenedRationalist
Posts: 14,201
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5/25/2014 8:23:37 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 5/25/2014 8:21:09 PM, daytonanerd wrote:
At 5/25/2014 8:20:08 PM, EndarkenedRationalist wrote:
Whelp, I work for Fox News.
*sticks gun in mouth*

Yes you do. Yes you do.

I won't forget this, Daytona.
daytonanerd
Posts: 6,769
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5/25/2014 8:26:28 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 5/25/2014 8:23:37 PM, EndarkenedRationalist wrote:
At 5/25/2014 8:21:09 PM, daytonanerd wrote:
At 5/25/2014 8:20:08 PM, EndarkenedRationalist wrote:
Whelp, I work for Fox News.
*sticks gun in mouth*

Yes you do. Yes you do.

I won't forget this, Daytona.

You already made me a drunk in your story. You got working at Fox News. I'd say we're about even.
#FeeltheFreezerBern
SeventhProfessor
Posts: 5,086
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5/25/2014 8:28:52 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
Loving it!
#UnbanTheMadman

#StandWithBossy

#BetOnThett

"bossy r u like 85 years old and have lost ur mind"
~mysteriouscrystals

"I've honestly never seen seventh post anything that wasn't completely idiotic in a trying-to-be-funny way."
~F-16

https://docs.google.com...
EndarkenedRationalist
Posts: 14,201
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5/25/2014 8:35:52 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 5/25/2014 8:26:28 PM, daytonanerd wrote:
At 5/25/2014 8:23:37 PM, EndarkenedRationalist wrote:
At 5/25/2014 8:21:09 PM, daytonanerd wrote:
At 5/25/2014 8:20:08 PM, EndarkenedRationalist wrote:
Whelp, I work for Fox News.
*sticks gun in mouth*

Yes you do. Yes you do.

I won't forget this, Daytona.

You already made me a drunk in your story. You got working at Fox News. I'd say we're about even.

........touch".
daytonanerd
Posts: 6,769
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5/25/2014 8:36:36 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 5/25/2014 8:35:52 PM, EndarkenedRationalist wrote:
At 5/25/2014 8:26:28 PM, daytonanerd wrote:
At 5/25/2014 8:23:37 PM, EndarkenedRationalist wrote:
At 5/25/2014 8:21:09 PM, daytonanerd wrote:
At 5/25/2014 8:20:08 PM, EndarkenedRationalist wrote:
Whelp, I work for Fox News.
*sticks gun in mouth*

Yes you do. Yes you do.

I won't forget this, Daytona.

You already made me a drunk in your story. You got working at Fox News. I'd say we're about even.

........touch".

Hmm?
#FeeltheFreezerBern
EndarkenedRationalist
Posts: 14,201
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5/25/2014 8:37:48 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 5/25/2014 8:36:36 PM, daytonanerd wrote:
At 5/25/2014 8:35:52 PM, EndarkenedRationalist wrote:
At 5/25/2014 8:26:28 PM, daytonanerd wrote:
At 5/25/2014 8:23:37 PM, EndarkenedRationalist wrote:
At 5/25/2014 8:21:09 PM, daytonanerd wrote:
At 5/25/2014 8:20:08 PM, EndarkenedRationalist wrote:
Whelp, I work for Fox News.
*sticks gun in mouth*

Yes you do. Yes you do.

I won't forget this, Daytona.

You already made me a drunk in your story. You got working at Fox News. I'd say we're about even.

........touch".

Hmm?

..... It said touche but the e got replaced with a quote.
Bullish
Posts: 3,527
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5/26/2014 12:15:31 AM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 5/25/2014 9:10:44 PM, daytonanerd wrote:
So. No one wants to be a writer?

I may just have to create a forum topic for it.

Ill sign up, but I'm no very good.
0x5f3759df
Bullish
Posts: 3,527
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5/26/2014 12:16:17 AM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 5/26/2014 12:15:31 AM, Bullish wrote:
At 5/25/2014 9:10:44 PM, daytonanerd wrote:
So. No one wants to be a writer?

I may just have to create a forum topic for it.

Ill sign up, but I'm no very good.

For one my writing will be filled with spelling mistakes.
0x5f3759df