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mishapqueen
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1/12/2015 12:12:59 AM
Posted: 1 year ago
IRL is a pretty common acronym. Usually it is used to distinguish between life offline from life online. But the issue with this phrase is that it implies what happens on DDO isn't real, and so you are not held to the same standards if common courtesy. We do stuff online we would never do offline. (Eg sex in public, ranting, insults, public attacks, etc.) Now please don't get me wrong, I do not intend to single out anyone or judge anyone. I'm merely putting a rock in your shoe to think about. Whether we like it it not, what happens on here is just as real as our interactions at school, parties, or work. The people we talk to are real people with real feelings and emotions. And if we forget that we are more likely to act inconsiderately and hurt someone.

I'm no better than anyone else, but I feel sad when I read drama because I know each person would never do that if they thought twice and spoke like the conversation is real. DDO is an amazing place filled with amazing people, and we can do so much more than we have. My promise to you is I will do my best to treat you like a real person, and give you the same courtesy I would give you if I met you on the street.

What are your thoughts? Have I missed something?
You cannot choose whether or not you will live by rules, but you can choose which rules you will live by. --Me

"I was wrong. Squirrels are objectively superior to bunnies in every conceivable dimension."
--Joey

"Silence is golden, duct tape is silver" --PetersSmith

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jodybirdy
Posts: 2,089
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1/12/2015 12:26:07 AM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 1/12/2015 12:12:59 AM, mishapqueen wrote:
IRL is a pretty common acronym. Usually it is used to distinguish between life offline from life online. But the issue with this phrase is that it implies what happens on DDO isn't real, and so you are not held to the same standards if common courtesy. We do stuff online we would never do offline. (Eg sex in public, ranting, insults, public attacks, etc.) Now please don't get me wrong, I do not intend to single out anyone or judge anyone. I'm merely putting a rock in your shoe to think about. Whether we like it it not, what happens on here is just as real as our interactions at school, parties, or work. The people we talk to are real people with real feelings and emotions. And if we forget that we are more likely to act inconsiderately and hurt someone.

I'm no better than anyone else, but I feel sad when I read drama because I know each person would never do that if they thought twice and spoke like the conversation is real. DDO is an amazing place filled with amazing people, and we can do so much more than we have. My promise to you is I will do my best to treat you like a real person, and give you the same courtesy I would give you if I met you on the street.


What are your thoughts? Have I missed something?

I think you said it plain and clear. It's amazing to me. Really interesting how people behave while wearing an anonymous mask. I'm simply me. My avatar is me and my words are what I would say if I was talking to a stranger or even a friend. I spoken my mind with firm resolve on several occasions, but I don't understand the need to criticize or hurt strangers in this setting. We should treat each other with decency even here. And yes, this site is full of awesome and eclectic personalities. That's why I like it.
A rock pile ceases to be a rock pile the moment a single man contemplates it, bearing within him the image of a cathedral."
mishapqueen
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1/12/2015 12:28:11 AM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 1/12/2015 12:26:07 AM, jodybirdy wrote:
At 1/12/2015 12:12:59 AM, mishapqueen wrote:
IRL is a pretty common acronym. Usually it is used to distinguish between life offline from life online. But the issue with this phrase is that it implies what happens on DDO isn't real, and so you are not held to the same standards if common courtesy. We do stuff online we would never do offline. (Eg sex in public, ranting, insults, public attacks, etc.) Now please don't get me wrong, I do not intend to single out anyone or judge anyone. I'm merely putting a rock in your shoe to think about. Whether we like it it not, what happens on here is just as real as our interactions at school, parties, or work. The people we talk to are real people with real feelings and emotions. And if we forget that we are more likely to act inconsiderately and hurt someone.

I'm no better than anyone else, but I feel sad when I read drama because I know each person would never do that if they thought twice and spoke like the conversation is real. DDO is an amazing place filled with amazing people, and we can do so much more than we have. My promise to you is I will do my best to treat you like a real person, and give you the same courtesy I would give you if I met you on the street.


What are your thoughts? Have I missed something?

I think you said it plain and clear. It's amazing to me. Really interesting how people behave while wearing an anonymous mask. I'm simply me. My avatar is me and my words are what I would say if I was talking to a stranger or even a friend. I spoken my mind with firm resolve on several occasions, but I don't understand the need to criticize or hurt strangers in this setting. We should treat each other with decency even here. And yes, this site is full of awesome and eclectic personalities. That's why I like it.

Same with me, except my avatar isn't me for privacy reason. I just want to be completely genuine.
You cannot choose whether or not you will live by rules, but you can choose which rules you will live by. --Me

"I was wrong. Squirrels are objectively superior to bunnies in every conceivable dimension."
--Joey

"Silence is golden, duct tape is silver" --PetersSmith

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1harderthanyouthink
Posts: 13,102
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1/12/2015 12:45:48 AM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 1/12/2015 12:12:59 AM, mishapqueen wrote:
IRL is a pretty common acronym. Usually it is used to distinguish between life offline from life online. But the issue with this phrase is that it implies what happens on DDO isn't real, and so you are not held to the same standards if common courtesy.

Agreeable...I think of this a bit too

We do stuff online we would never do offline. (Eg sex in public, ranting, insults, public attacks, etc.)

I do more of that (bolded) offline. When I'm at school...

Now please don't get me wrong, I do not intend to single out anyone or judge anyone. I'm merely putting a rock in your shoe to think about. Whether we like it it not, what happens on here is just as real as our interactions at school, parties, or work. The people we talk to are real people with real feelings and emotions. And if we forget that we are more likely to act inconsiderately and hurt someone.

Agreed.

I'm no better than anyone else, but I feel sad when I read drama because I know each person would never do that if they thought twice and spoke like the conversation is real.

I might get even worse in my flame wars if I were to treat people like I would if we were face-to-face.

DDO is an amazing place filled with amazing people, and we can do so much more than we have. My promise to you is I will do my best to treat you like a real person, and give you the same courtesy I would give you if I met you on the street.

Go f*** yourself, you dirty c***. ;)

What are your thoughts? Have I missed something?
"It's awfully considerate of you to think of me here,
And I'm much obliged to you for making it clear - that I'm not here."

-Syd Barrett

DDO Risk King
mishapqueen
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1/12/2015 12:49:54 AM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 1/12/2015 12:45:48 AM, 1harderthanyouthink wrote:
At 1/12/2015 12:12:59 AM, mishapqueen wrote:
IRL is a pretty common acronym. Usually it is used to distinguish between life offline from life online. But the issue with this phrase is that it implies what happens on DDO isn't real, and so you are not held to the same standards if common courtesy.

Agreeable...I think of this a bit too
Yay! :)

We do stuff online we would never do offline. (Eg sex in public, ranting, insults, public attacks, etc.)

I do more of that (bolded) offline. When I'm at school...

Wow, you and I must have opposite personalities, lol

Now please don't get me wrong, I do not intend to single out anyone or judge anyone. I'm merely putting a rock in your shoe to think about. Whether we like it it not, what happens on here is just as real as our interactions at school, parties, or work. The people we talk to are real people with real feelings and emotions. And if we forget that we are more likely to act inconsiderately and hurt someone.

Agreed.

I'm no better than anyone else, but I feel sad when I read drama because I know each person would never do that if they thought twice and spoke like the conversation is real.

I might get even worse in my flame wars if I were to treat people like I would if we were face-to-face.

The point is let's treat others with courtesy. XD

DDO is an amazing place filled with amazing people, and we can do so much more than we have. My promise to you is I will do my best to treat you like a real person, and give you the same courtesy I would give you if I met you on the street.

Go f*** yourself, you dirty c***. ;)

*cries*

What are your thoughts? Have I missed something?
You cannot choose whether or not you will live by rules, but you can choose which rules you will live by. --Me

"I was wrong. Squirrels are objectively superior to bunnies in every conceivable dimension."
--Joey

"Silence is golden, duct tape is silver" --PetersSmith

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bluesteel
Posts: 12,301
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1/12/2015 12:54:13 AM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 1/12/2015 12:12:59 AM, mishapqueen wrote:
IRL is a pretty common acronym. Usually it is used to distinguish between life offline from life online. But the issue with this phrase is that it implies what happens on DDO isn't real, and so you are not held to the same standards if common courtesy. We do stuff online we would never do offline. (Eg sex in public, ranting, insults, public attacks, etc.) Now please don't get me wrong, I do not intend to single out anyone or judge anyone. I'm merely putting a rock in your shoe to think about. Whether we like it it not, what happens on here is just as real as our interactions at school, parties, or work. The people we talk to are real people with real feelings and emotions. And if we forget that we are more likely to act inconsiderately and hurt someone.

I'm no better than anyone else, but I feel sad when I read drama because I know each person would never do that if they thought twice and spoke like the conversation is real. DDO is an amazing place filled with amazing people, and we can do so much more than we have. My promise to you is I will do my best to treat you like a real person, and give you the same courtesy I would give you if I met you on the street.


What are your thoughts? Have I missed something?

I agree with the sentiment for sure. It's so true. People start conflicts on here not realizing that on the other end of that username is a person with a face and real emotions. It's a lot easier to be a complete douchebag to a nameless, faceless username than to a real person.

That said, sex in public? People do that irl too. The stuff on here is nothing more than flirting, whereas some people have actually had intercourse in public places.

On the romance side, I've seen much worse stuff in real life than on here.
You can't reason someone out of a position they didn't reason themselves into - Jonathan Swift (paraphrase)
mishapqueen
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1/12/2015 1:13:06 AM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 1/12/2015 12:54:13 AM, bluesteel wrote:
At 1/12/2015 12:12:59 AM, mishapqueen wrote:
IRL is a pretty common acronym. Usually it is used to distinguish between life offline from life online. But the issue with this phrase is that it implies what happens on DDO isn't real, and so you are not held to the same standards if common courtesy. We do stuff online we would never do offline. (Eg sex in public, ranting, insults, public attacks, etc.) Now please don't get me wrong, I do not intend to single out anyone or judge anyone. I'm merely putting a rock in your shoe to think about. Whether we like it it not, what happens on here is just as real as our interactions at school, parties, or work. The people we talk to are real people with real feelings and emotions. And if we forget that we are more likely to act inconsiderately and hurt someone.

I'm no better than anyone else, but I feel sad when I read drama because I know each person would never do that if they thought twice and spoke like the conversation is real. DDO is an amazing place filled with amazing people, and we can do so much more than we have. My promise to you is I will do my best to treat you like a real person, and give you the same courtesy I would give you if I met you on the street.


What are your thoughts? Have I missed something?

I agree with the sentiment for sure. It's so true. People start conflicts on here not realizing that on the other end of that username is a person with a face and real emotions. It's a lot easier to be a complete douchebag to a nameless, faceless username than to a real person.

Exactly.

That said, sex in public? People do that irl too. The stuff on here is nothing more than flirting, whereas some people have actually had intercourse in public places.

On the romance side, I've seen much worse stuff in real life than on here.
I'm pretty sheltered, so... Ummmm.... I'll take your word for it. XD
You cannot choose whether or not you will live by rules, but you can choose which rules you will live by. --Me

"I was wrong. Squirrels are objectively superior to bunnies in every conceivable dimension."
--Joey

"Silence is golden, duct tape is silver" --PetersSmith

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lannan13
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1/12/2015 8:26:25 AM
Posted: 1 year ago
It's a little different. Shy people tend to be more social here. Take me for example. IRL I'm a shy quiet guy that does what is required and contributes and that's it. Here I do a whole lot more and have gone above and beyond.
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"If you are going through hell, keep going." "Sir Winston Churchill

"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." "Eleanor Roosevelt

Topics I want to debate. (http://tinyurl.com...)
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KhaosMage
Posts: 1,475
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1/12/2015 8:43:55 AM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 1/12/2015 12:12:59 AM, mishapqueen wrote:
IRL is a pretty common acronym. Usually it is used to distinguish between life offline from life online. But the issue with this phrase is that it implies what happens on DDO isn't real, and so you are not held to the same standards if common courtesy.
It does imply a difference, and there is a difference. However, it does not imply the lack of courtesy.

We do stuff online we would never do offline. (Eg sex in public, ranting, insults, public attacks, etc.)
Not sure how there is sex in public online, but you make a preposterous assumption that people do not act the same online as offline.

Now please don't get me wrong, I do not intend to single out anyone or judge anyone. I'm merely putting a rock in your shoe to think about. Whether we like it it not, what happens on here is just as real as our interactions at school, parties, or work. The people we talk to are real people with real feelings and emotions. And if we forget that we are more likely to act inconsiderately and hurt someone.
Again, you assume too much.
You assume people always have genuine interactions IRL as well.
And, the interactions are not the same. For example, assume you are giving me the "cold shoulder" because you are mad at me. In real life, this is obvious, online, it is not.

I'm no better than anyone else, but I feel sad when I read drama because I know each person would never do that if they thought twice and spoke like the conversation is real.
I don't know why you think this is the case, but I also don't know what you are referring to specifically.

DDO is an amazing place filled with amazing people, and we can do so much more than we have. My promise to you is I will do my best to treat you like a real person, and give you the same courtesy I would give you if I met you on the street.

This is the problem with the golden rule of "treat people as you would like to be treated" - people don't mean that. What they mean is "be nice".
I don't know where you live, but it seems most people on the street ignore everyone else, and, say at the office Christmas party, there are cliques and you don't really talk to everyone, either.
The online environment is wholly different.


What are your thoughts? Have I missed something?
KhaosMage
Posts: 1,475
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1/12/2015 8:52:42 AM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 1/12/2015 12:12:59 AM, mishapqueen wrote:

Also, one major thing you overlook is what we do in society and what we do on DDO.

It seems commonplace that you don't talk about politics and religion and other deeply held beliefs in real life, let alone challenge them. However, that is precisely what we do on DDO all the time.
If people are not accustomed to having their deeply held beliefs challenged, or even being aware of other contradictory beliefs being espoused by others, than the response is going to be.....odd.

It boils down to motive and maturity.
If people are here to explore ideas and whatnot, than they don't run into problems, except by those that are not here to do that.
If people are here to soapbox and not engage in honest discussion, then they run into problems.
DarthVitiosus
Posts: 624
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1/12/2015 8:53:36 AM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 1/12/2015 12:12:59 AM, mishapqueen wrote:
IRL is a pretty common acronym. Usually it is used to distinguish between life offline from life online. But the issue with this phrase is that it implies what happens on DDO isn't real, and so you are not held to the same standards if common courtesy. We do stuff online we would never do offline. (Eg sex in public, ranting, insults, public attacks, etc.) Now please don't get me wrong, I do not intend to single out anyone or judge anyone. I'm merely putting a rock in your shoe to think about. Whether we like it it not, what happens on here is just as real as our interactions at school, parties, or work. The people we talk to are real people with real feelings and emotions. And if we forget that we are more likely to act inconsiderately and hurt someone.

I'm no better than anyone else, but I feel sad when I read drama because I know each person would never do that if they thought twice and spoke like the conversation is real. DDO is an amazing place filled with amazing people, and we can do so much more than we have. My promise to you is I will do my best to treat you like a real person, and give you the same courtesy I would give you if I met you on the street.


What are your thoughts? Have I missed something?

I am far more controversial in the real world than I am on here(at least 2 or 3 members who have Skyped me can verify that). I have had sex in a public place before lol. Simply put, it is unexhilarating and can be boring on this site compared to the real world.

Honestly, I am 99% sure, I don't want to meet many on this site because they are far too serious and far too rational for my taste.I just don't rant like a feral maniac like others on here nor am I very sensitive either as most other on here tend to be.
WILL NOT BE REMOVED UNTIL:
#1. I have met 10 people worth discussing with on DDO who are not interested in ideological or romantic visions of the world we all live in.
#2. 10 people admit they have no interest in any one else's opinion other than their own.
#3. 10 people admit they are products of their environment and their ideas derive from said environment rather than doing any serious critical thinking and search for answers themselves.
KhaosMage
Posts: 1,475
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1/12/2015 9:19:28 AM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 1/12/2015 12:54:13 AM, bluesteel wrote:
At 1/12/2015 12:12:59 AM, mishapqueen wrote:
IRL is a pretty common acronym. Usually it is used to distinguish between life offline from life online. But the issue with this phrase is that it implies what happens on DDO isn't real, and so you are not held to the same standards if common courtesy. We do stuff online we would never do offline. (Eg sex in public, ranting, insults, public attacks, etc.) Now please don't get me wrong, I do not intend to single out anyone or judge anyone. I'm merely putting a rock in your shoe to think about. Whether we like it it not, what happens on here is just as real as our interactions at school, parties, or work. The people we talk to are real people with real feelings and emotions. And if we forget that we are more likely to act inconsiderately and hurt someone.

I'm no better than anyone else, but I feel sad when I read drama because I know each person would never do that if they thought twice and spoke like the conversation is real. DDO is an amazing place filled with amazing people, and we can do so much more than we have. My promise to you is I will do my best to treat you like a real person, and give you the same courtesy I would give you if I met you on the street.


What are your thoughts? Have I missed something?

I agree with the sentiment for sure. It's so true. People start conflicts on here not realizing that on the other end of that username is a person with a face and real emotions. It's a lot easier to be a complete douchebag to a nameless, faceless username than to a real person.

While this is true, you forget the flipside as well.
By being anonymous, you can explore more nuanced issues and attempt to have discussions that are unlikely to occur IRL, while avoiding the inevitable fallout if it did. For example, Khaos_Mage's numerous threads about rape, and trying to actually define it. In real life, people often walk away when offended, and never come back. Here, they can come back.

I have had a woman who challenged me every time I posted those threads implying I was a horrible person. However, after the fourth thread, she finally agreed with me in that one beer =/= drunk, and from there, a discussion could have flourished.
In real life, I would not get that second chance, let alone any opportunity to have an honest discussion about it.

Imagine if someone really truly was racist and wanted to explore it honestly. This discussion is likely to get him ostracized in his community, while here, there is no repercussions, and he might get some sense talked into him as well.
dtaylor971
Posts: 1,907
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1/12/2015 10:23:56 AM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 1/12/2015 12:12:59 AM, mishapqueen wrote:
IRL is a pretty common acronym. Usually it is used to distinguish between life offline from life online. But the issue with this phrase is that it implies what happens on DDO isn't real, and so you are not held to the same standards if common courtesy. We do stuff online we would never do offline. (Eg sex in public, ranting, insults, public attacks, etc.) Now please don't get me wrong, I do not intend to single out anyone or judge anyone. I'm merely putting a rock in your shoe to think about. Whether we like it it not, what happens on here is just as real as our interactions at school, parties, or work. The people we talk to are real people with real feelings and emotions. And if we forget that we are more likely to act inconsiderately and hurt someone.

I'm no better than anyone else, but I feel sad when I read drama because I know each person would never do that if they thought twice and spoke like the conversation is real. DDO is an amazing place filled with amazing people, and we can do so much more than we have. My promise to you is I will do my best to treat you like a real person, and give you the same courtesy I would give you if I met you on the street.


What are your thoughts? Have I missed something?

You said it, plain and clear. However, I do recall a study regarding text messaging... I think the study showed that around 95% of [detailed, I think] text messages could not be said IRL, face to face. The conversation is real, but it really relies on the physiological ability to have the conversation. Since text messaging is to people you know and almost will definitely see again, it is more significant to talking to a person you never knew existed and will almost definitely never see. Henceforth, we say things that couldn't really be said IRL, but we don't realize the significance and the impact of the words because, more often than not, we don't think of avatars as "people."
"I don't know why gays want to marry, I have spent the last 25 years wishing I wasn't allowed to." -Sadolite
mishapqueen
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1/12/2015 12:10:16 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 1/12/2015 8:43:55 AM, KhaosMage wrote:
At 1/12/2015 12:12:59 AM, mishapqueen wrote:
IRL is a pretty common acronym. Usually it is used to distinguish between life offline from life online. But the issue with this phrase is that it implies what happens on DDO isn't real, and so you are not held to the same standards if common courtesy.
It does imply a difference, and there is a difference. However, it does not imply the lack of courtesy.

Oh, all right.

We do stuff online we would never do offline. (Eg sex in public, ranting, insults, public attacks, etc.)
Not sure how there is sex in public online, but you make a preposterous assumption that people do not act the same online as offline.


Okay. I'm just going off my limited experience.

Now please don't get me wrong, I do not intend to single out anyone or judge anyone. I'm merely putting a rock in your shoe to think about. Whether we like it it not, what happens on here is just as real as our interactions at school, parties, or work. The people we talk to are real people with real feelings and emotions. And if we forget that we are more likely to act inconsiderately and hurt someone.
Again, you assume too much.
You assume people always have genuine interactions IRL as well.
Sorry.

And, the interactions are not the same. For example, assume you are giving me the "cold shoulder" because you are mad at me. In real life, this is obvious, online, it is not.

Oh, okay. I see your point.

I'm no better than anyone else, but I feel sad when I read drama because I know each person would never do that if they thought twice and spoke like the conversation is real.
I don't know why you think this is the case, but I also don't know what you are referring to specifically.

I'm not referring to specifics. I'm talking in generalities.

DDO is an amazing place filled with amazing people, and we can do so much more than we have. My promise to you is I will do my best to treat you like a real person, and give you the same courtesy I would give you if I met you on the street.

This is the problem with the golden rule of "treat people as you would like to be treated" - people don't mean that. What they mean is "be nice".

Interesting point.

I don't know where you live, but it seems most people on the street ignore everyone else, and, say at the office Christmas party, there are cliques and you don't really talk to everyone, either.
The online environment is wholly different.


I think this might be because many introverts are on this website. I'm actually an ambivert, so I see things differently. :)

What are your thoughts? Have I missed something?
You cannot choose whether or not you will live by rules, but you can choose which rules you will live by. --Me

"I was wrong. Squirrels are objectively superior to bunnies in every conceivable dimension."
--Joey

"Silence is golden, duct tape is silver" --PetersSmith

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mishapqueen
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1/12/2015 12:12:18 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 1/12/2015 8:52:42 AM, KhaosMage wrote:
At 1/12/2015 12:12:59 AM, mishapqueen wrote:

Also, one major thing you overlook is what we do in society and what we do on DDO.

It seems commonplace that you don't talk about politics and religion and other deeply held beliefs in real life, let alone challenge them.

I actually do that a lot. XD

However, that is precisely what we do on DDO all the time.
If people are not accustomed to having their deeply held beliefs challenged, or even being aware of other contradictory beliefs being espoused by others, than the response is going to be.....odd.


True.

It boils down to motive and maturity.
Yes.
If people are here to explore ideas and whatnot, than they don't run into problems, except by those that are not here to do that.
If people are here to soapbox and not engage in honest discussion, then they run into problems.

Exactly. I agree with you. :)
You cannot choose whether or not you will live by rules, but you can choose which rules you will live by. --Me

"I was wrong. Squirrels are objectively superior to bunnies in every conceivable dimension."
--Joey

"Silence is golden, duct tape is silver" --PetersSmith

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mishapqueen
Posts: 3,995
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1/12/2015 12:13:09 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 1/12/2015 8:53:36 AM, DarthVitiosus wrote:
At 1/12/2015 12:12:59 AM, mishapqueen wrote:
IRL is a pretty common acronym. Usually it is used to distinguish between life offline from life online. But the issue with this phrase is that it implies what happens on DDO isn't real, and so you are not held to the same standards if common courtesy. We do stuff online we would never do offline. (Eg sex in public, ranting, insults, public attacks, etc.) Now please don't get me wrong, I do not intend to single out anyone or judge anyone. I'm merely putting a rock in your shoe to think about. Whether we like it it not, what happens on here is just as real as our interactions at school, parties, or work. The people we talk to are real people with real feelings and emotions. And if we forget that we are more likely to act inconsiderately and hurt someone.

I'm no better than anyone else, but I feel sad when I read drama because I know each person would never do that if they thought twice and spoke like the conversation is real. DDO is an amazing place filled with amazing people, and we can do so much more than we have. My promise to you is I will do my best to treat you like a real person, and give you the same courtesy I would give you if I met you on the street.


What are your thoughts? Have I missed something?

I am far more controversial in the real world than I am on here(at least 2 or 3 members who have Skyped me can verify that). I have had sex in a public place before lol. Simply put, it is unexhilarating and can be boring on this site compared to the real world.

Honestly, I am 99% sure, I don't want to meet many on this site because they are far too serious and far too rational for my taste.I just don't rant like a feral maniac like others on here nor am I very sensitive either as most other on here tend to be.

Hmm. Interesting. Thank you for sharing your thoughts. :)
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mishapqueen
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1/12/2015 12:13:36 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 1/12/2015 10:23:56 AM, dtaylor971 wrote:
At 1/12/2015 12:12:59 AM, mishapqueen wrote:
IRL is a pretty common acronym. Usually it is used to distinguish between life offline from life online. But the issue with this phrase is that it implies what happens on DDO isn't real, and so you are not held to the same standards if common courtesy. We do stuff online we would never do offline. (Eg sex in public, ranting, insults, public attacks, etc.) Now please don't get me wrong, I do not intend to single out anyone or judge anyone. I'm merely putting a rock in your shoe to think about. Whether we like it it not, what happens on here is just as real as our interactions at school, parties, or work. The people we talk to are real people with real feelings and emotions. And if we forget that we are more likely to act inconsiderately and hurt someone.

I'm no better than anyone else, but I feel sad when I read drama because I know each person would never do that if they thought twice and spoke like the conversation is real. DDO is an amazing place filled with amazing people, and we can do so much more than we have. My promise to you is I will do my best to treat you like a real person, and give you the same courtesy I would give you if I met you on the street.


What are your thoughts? Have I missed something?

You said it, plain and clear. However, I do recall a study regarding text messaging... I think the study showed that around 95% of [detailed, I think] text messages could not be said IRL, face to face. The conversation is real, but it really relies on the physiological ability to have the conversation. Since text messaging is to people you know and almost will definitely see again, it is more significant to talking to a person you never knew existed and will almost definitely never see. Henceforth, we say things that couldn't really be said IRL, but we don't realize the significance and the impact of the words because, more often than not, we don't think of avatars as "people."

Precisely. :D
You cannot choose whether or not you will live by rules, but you can choose which rules you will live by. --Me

"I was wrong. Squirrels are objectively superior to bunnies in every conceivable dimension."
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Vox_Veritas
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1/12/2015 1:33:53 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
It is true that I would feel uncomfortable saying some of the stuff that I say here if my real life identity was known.
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EndarkenedRationalist
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1/12/2015 2:26:12 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
Sword Art Online (NERRRRRRD) had an interesting quote about how who we are online is who we truly are. I don't know if I entirely agree or not, but it does have some merit. The Internet allows us to access our best or worst selves.
KhaosMage
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1/12/2015 2:29:02 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 1/12/2015 2:26:12 PM, EndarkenedRationalist wrote:
Sword Art Online (NERRRRRRD) had an interesting quote about how who we are online is who we truly are. I don't know if I entirely agree or not, but it does have some merit. The Internet allows us to access our best or worst selves.

I'd be more inclined to agree than disagree.
Similar to being drunk; there are less inhibitions with anonymity.
bsh1
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1/12/2015 3:09:23 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 1/12/2015 12:12:59 AM, mishapqueen wrote:
[T]he issue with this phrase is that it implies what happens on DDO isn't real, and so you are not held to the same standards if common courtesy. We do stuff online we would never do offline...The people we talk to are real people with real feelings and emotions. And if we forget that we are more likely to act inconsiderately and hurt someone.

In general, I concur with this sentiment. I think that interactions here, in the internet ether, are no "less" real than if they happened in "real" life. In fact, sometimes interactions online can be even more real than elsewhere; particularly since the anonymity the internet provides us allows us to show our true selves, to bear our souls, with seeming (though illusory) impunity.

I dislike the tendency to think that it's okay to deride interactions on this sight as somehow intrinsically less valuable that interactions with our real-life friends. Speaking for myself, I consider my friends on here just as "real" as the friends I have where I live. Behind every username is a person with "real" feelings and genuine emotion that deserves to be treated as such.

However, I think it is okay to be a bit more open about things here, on DDO, than IRL, particularly because anonymity should, in an ideal setting, create a "safe" environment for people to express themselves (that sounds super cliched...). For instance, I am not "out" as gay to more than 5 people IRL, but I am "out" to everyone on DDO. The anonymity DDO has given me has helped create an environment where I feel safe talking about and exposing that side of my personality--it even helped me find YYW.

So sure, we should realize that DDO is not, necessary, any less "real" than so-called "real" life, but that doesn't mean that there aren't substantive differences that aren't naturally going to spur people to behave differently here than elsewhere. And that's actually a good thing when used constructively--it's only when the IRL-online distinction is used to justify harassment, bullying, or personal attacks that it becomes truly objectionable.

We need to recognize that a difference exists, but we also need to recognize that, just because there is a difference, that it doesn't excuse poor conduct.
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SamStevens
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1/12/2015 3:34:19 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 1/12/2015 12:12:59 AM, mishapqueen wrote:
IRL is a pretty common acronym. Usually it is used to distinguish between life offline from life online. But the issue with this phrase is that it implies what happens on DDO isn't real, and so you are not held to the same standards if common courtesy. We do stuff online we would never do offline. (Eg sex in public, ranting, insults, public attacks, etc.) Now please don't get me wrong, I do not intend to single out anyone or judge anyone. I'm merely putting a rock in your shoe to think about. Whether we like it it not, what happens on here is just as real as our interactions at school, parties, or work. The people we talk to are real people with real feelings and emotions. And if we forget that we are more likely to act inconsiderately and hurt someone.

I'm no better than anyone else, but I feel sad when I read drama because I know each person would never do that if they thought twice and spoke like the conversation is real. DDO is an amazing place filled with amazing people, and we can do so much more than we have. My promise to you is I will do my best to treat you like a real person, and give you the same courtesy I would give you if I met you on the street.


What are your thoughts? Have I missed something?
The religious forum could benefit from this advice.
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mishapqueen
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1/12/2015 3:39:51 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 1/12/2015 3:09:23 PM, bsh1 wrote:
At 1/12/2015 12:12:59 AM, mishapqueen wrote:
[T]he issue with this phrase is that it implies what happens on DDO isn't real, and so you are not held to the same standards if common courtesy. We do stuff online we would never do offline...The people we talk to are real people with real feelings and emotions. And if we forget that we are more likely to act inconsiderately and hurt someone.

In general, I concur with this sentiment. I think that interactions here, in the internet ether, are no "less" real than if they happened in "real" life. In fact, sometimes interactions online can be even more real than elsewhere; particularly since the anonymity the internet provides us allows us to show our true selves, to bear our souls, with seeming (though illusory) impunity.

I dislike the tendency to think that it's okay to deride interactions on this sight as somehow intrinsically less valuable that interactions with our real-life friends. Speaking for myself, I consider my friends on here just as "real" as the friends I have where I live. Behind every username is a person with "real" feelings and genuine emotion that deserves to be treated as such.

However, I think it is okay to be a bit more open about things here, on DDO, than IRL, particularly because anonymity should, in an ideal setting, create a "safe" environment for people to express themselves (that sounds super cliched...). For instance, I am not "out" as gay to more than 5 people IRL, but I am "out" to everyone on DDO. The anonymity DDO has given me has helped create an environment where I feel safe talking about and exposing that side of my personality--it even helped me find YYW.

So sure, we should realize that DDO is not, necessary, any less "real" than so-called "real" life, but that doesn't mean that there aren't substantive differences that aren't naturally going to spur people to behave differently here than elsewhere. And that's actually a good thing when used constructively--it's only when the IRL-online distinction is used to justify harassment, bullying, or personal attacks that it becomes truly objectionable.

We need to recognize that a difference exists, but we also need to recognize that, just because there is a difference, that it doesn't excuse poor conduct.

I agree. :)
You cannot choose whether or not you will live by rules, but you can choose which rules you will live by. --Me

"I was wrong. Squirrels are objectively superior to bunnies in every conceivable dimension."
--Joey

"Silence is golden, duct tape is silver" --PetersSmith

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mishapqueen
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1/12/2015 3:42:13 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 1/12/2015 3:34:19 PM, SamStevens wrote:
At 1/12/2015 12:12:59 AM, mishapqueen wrote:
IRL is a pretty common acronym. Usually it is used to distinguish between life offline from life online. But the issue with this phrase is that it implies what happens on DDO isn't real, and so you are not held to the same standards if common courtesy. We do stuff online we would never do offline. (Eg sex in public, ranting, insults, public attacks, etc.) Now please don't get me wrong, I do not intend to single out anyone or judge anyone. I'm merely putting a rock in your shoe to think about. Whether we like it it not, what happens on here is just as real as our interactions at school, parties, or work. The people we talk to are real people with real feelings and emotions. And if we forget that we are more likely to act inconsiderately and hurt someone.

I'm no better than anyone else, but I feel sad when I read drama because I know each person would never do that if they thought twice and spoke like the conversation is real. DDO is an amazing place filled with amazing people, and we can do so much more than we have. My promise to you is I will do my best to treat you like a real person, and give you the same courtesy I would give you if I met you on the street.


What are your thoughts? Have I missed something?
The religious forum could benefit from this advice.
If you would like to repost this there you may.
You cannot choose whether or not you will live by rules, but you can choose which rules you will live by. --Me

"I was wrong. Squirrels are objectively superior to bunnies in every conceivable dimension."
--Joey

"Silence is golden, duct tape is silver" --PetersSmith

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ESocialBookworm
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1/12/2015 3:49:08 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 1/12/2015 2:26:12 PM, EndarkenedRationalist wrote:
Sword Art Online (NERRRRRRD) had an interesting quote about how who we are online is who we truly are.
Love you! <3
I don't know if I entirely agree or not, but it does have some merit. The Internet allows us to access our best or worst selves.

I somewhat agree. The internet provides us with the mask to be who we are without care. We see those who don't give a damn about others, and those who actually have the decency to treat others with some respect despite not knowing them.
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which is what everyone else should also care about.

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sadolite
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1/12/2015 3:52:11 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
If you personally attack someone online but would not do it to their face. That is called an internet coward. Dime a dozen.
It's not your views that divide us, it's what you think my views should be that divides us.

If you think I will give up my rights and forsake social etiquette to make you "FEEL" better you are sadly mistaken

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gingerbread-man
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1/12/2015 4:40:44 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 1/12/2015 12:26:07 AM, jodybirdy wrote:
At 1/12/2015 12:12:59 AM, mishapqueen wrote:
IRL is a pretty common acronym. Usually it is used to distinguish between life offline from life online. But the issue with this phrase is that it implies what happens on DDO isn't real, and so you are not held to the same standards if common courtesy. We do stuff online we would never do offline. (Eg sex in public, ranting, insults, public attacks, etc.) Now please don't get me wrong, I do not intend to single out anyone or judge anyone. I'm merely putting a rock in your shoe to think about. Whether we like it it not, what happens on here is just as real as our interactions at school, parties, or work. The people we talk to are real people with real feelings and emotions. And if we forget that we are more likely to act inconsiderately and hurt someone.

I'm no better than anyone else, but I feel sad when I read drama because I know each person would never do that if they thought twice and spoke like the conversation is real. DDO is an amazing place filled with amazing people, and we can do so much more than we have. My promise to you is I will do my best to treat you like a real person, and give you the same courtesy I would give you if I met you on the street.


What are your thoughts? Have I missed something?

I think you said it plain and clear. It's amazing to me. Really interesting how people behave while wearing an anonymous mask. I'm simply me. My avatar is me and my words are what I would say if I was talking to a stranger or even a friend. I spoken my mind with firm resolve on several occasions, but I don't understand the need to criticize or hurt strangers in this setting. We should treat each other with decency even here. And yes, this site is full of awesome and eclectic personalities. That's why I like it.

I feel the same, my avatar is a real picture of me as well - thats perhaps why I don't get out much as everyone tends to stop and stare. Whereas in this community people don't automatically just think of me as an incredibly cute peice of shortbread.
Not my gumdrop buttons!

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Raisor
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1/12/2015 6:24:04 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 1/12/2015 12:54:13 AM, bluesteel wrote:
At 1/12/2015 12:12:59 AM, mishapqueen wrote:
IRL is a pretty common acronym. Usually it is used to distinguish between life offline from life online. But the issue with this phrase is that it implies what happens on DDO isn't real, and so you are not held to the same standards if common courtesy. We do stuff online we would never do offline. (Eg sex in public, ranting, insults, public attacks, etc.) Now please don't get me wrong, I do not intend to single out anyone or judge anyone. I'm merely putting a rock in your shoe to think about. Whether we like it it not, what happens on here is just as real as our interactions at school, parties, or work. The people we talk to are real people with real feelings and emotions. And if we forget that we are more likely to act inconsiderately and hurt someone.

I'm no better than anyone else, but I feel sad when I read drama because I know each person would never do that if they thought twice and spoke like the conversation is real. DDO is an amazing place filled with amazing people, and we can do so much more than we have. My promise to you is I will do my best to treat you like a real person, and give you the same courtesy I would give you if I met you on the street.


What are your thoughts? Have I missed something?

I agree with the sentiment for sure. It's so true. People start conflicts on here not realizing that on the other end of that username is a person with a face and real emotions. It's a lot easier to be a complete douchebag to a nameless, faceless username than to a real person.

That said, sex in public? People do that irl too. The stuff on here is nothing more than flirting, whereas some people have actually had intercourse in public places.

On the romance side, I've seen much worse stuff in real life than on here.

In my experience you are much more likely to see people having sex in public online than IRL. But I'll keep my eyes peeled.
Dpowell
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1/12/2015 6:36:07 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 1/12/2015 12:12:59 AM, mishapqueen wrote:
IRL is a pretty common acronym. Usually it is used to distinguish between life offline from life online. But the issue with this phrase is that it implies what happens on DDO isn't real, and so you are not held to the same standards if common courtesy. We do stuff online we would never do offline. (Eg sex in public, ranting, insults, public attacks, etc.) Now please don't get me wrong, I do not intend to single out anyone or judge anyone. I'm merely putting a rock in your shoe to think about. Whether we like it it not, what happens on here is just as real as our interactions at school, parties, or work. The people we talk to are real people with real feelings and emotions. And if we forget that we are more likely to act inconsiderately and hurt someone.

I'm no better than anyone else, but I feel sad when I read drama because I know each person would never do that if they thought twice and spoke like the conversation is real. DDO is an amazing place filled with amazing people, and we can do so much more than we have. My promise to you is I will do my best to treat you like a real person, and give you the same courtesy I would give you if I met you on the street.


What are your thoughts? Have I missed something?

How are you I haven't seen you in awhile Mishap?!?!?!

We'd have to talk again sometime to caught up on some things. How's the debate tournies going, I also saw you ran with Lannan as President, but Petie said you were running with him, do you mind clearing up that murky cloud of mashmellow jam?