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Maikuru elected as Frat pledge master

BlackVoid
Posts: 9,170
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2/3/2015 7:48:48 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
ANN ARBOR -- A source from the University of Michigan has recently confirmed that Debate.org user Maikuru has been appointed as the newest pledge master of the fraternity Alpha Tau Omega, and will be in charge of hazing the frat's new initiates.

Maikuru, a widely-known party animal since his early high school days, quickly became one of the most popular members of the frat after his arrival. The previous pledge master, Zaradi, noted that his exceptionally strong liver and impressive breakdancing skills made him the perfect fit for ATO. "This guy was ridiculous. He was always the life of the party, standing on top of tables downing shot after shot, and taking home multiple chicks each night. I think the only guy better with the chicks than him is that guy Bsh over at Sig Tau. But second place isn't bad".

"That said, he could be a little *too* positive at times. I tried convincing him that its sometimes necessary to dampen your mood a bit and embrace the suffering in life, but he wouldn't have it".

After being given his new position, Maikuru has reportedly grown accustomed to his responsibility of hazing the new pledges. Eyewitness reports describe one scene with four prospects kneeling to him in the courtyard, as he paced back and forth in front of them:

"Why in the actual fvck do you four geeks think you're worthy to be in this fvckin frat?", Maikuru reportedly yelled, as he violently kicked the glasses off one of the pledges. "ATO is for PARTY PEOPLE. You clowns should be back in your basements watching Star Trek or reading comic books or some sh1t. "

"Freakin nerds...."

Not all onlookers were happy with this scene. The president of the University of Michigan's "Christ on Campus" club, Wylted, voiced that "Maikuru needs to be nicer to these people. Jesus says we are supposed to treat others with kindness, tenderness, and sincerity. There is no place at UM for this kind of aggressive and brash behavior".

Other hazing activities include: jumping from freezing-cold to scorching-hot bath tubs, walking all all-fours with a collar and leash as Maikuru "walks" them, and being forced to have a conversation with AnDoctuir for 60 minutes.

"This is truly my life's calling. The booze, the drugs, the girls, the hazing...it just has me written all over it. This is truly the best time of my life".
bsh1
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2/3/2015 7:52:29 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
"The president of the University of Michigan's 'Christ on Campus' club, Wylted..."

I died laughing...
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Maikuru
Posts: 9,112
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2/5/2015 4:44:18 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
I should add that this is scary accurate. Money, hoes, and clothes, that's all Maikuru knows.
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mishapqueen
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2/5/2015 4:49:38 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
The fraternity should be Delta Delta Omega. -.-
You cannot choose whether or not you will live by rules, but you can choose which rules you will live by. --Me

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BlackVoid
Posts: 9,170
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2/5/2015 4:57:28 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 2/5/2015 4:49:38 PM, mishapqueen wrote:
The fraternity should be Delta Delta Omega. -.-

lol, I see what you did there.
mishapqueen
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2/5/2015 4:58:12 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 2/5/2015 4:57:28 PM, BlackVoid wrote:
At 2/5/2015 4:49:38 PM, mishapqueen wrote:
The fraternity should be Delta Delta Omega. -.-

lol, I see what you did there.

Oh? What did I do?
You cannot choose whether or not you will live by rules, but you can choose which rules you will live by. --Me

"I was wrong. Squirrels are objectively superior to bunnies in every conceivable dimension."
--Joey

"Silence is golden, duct tape is silver" --PetersSmith

Nunc aut Numquam
BlackVoid
Posts: 9,170
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2/5/2015 4:59:03 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 2/5/2015 4:58:12 PM, mishapqueen wrote:
At 2/5/2015 4:57:28 PM, BlackVoid wrote:
At 2/5/2015 4:49:38 PM, mishapqueen wrote:
The fraternity should be Delta Delta Omega. -.-

lol, I see what you did there.

Oh? What did I do?

The initials are DDO...although it might have been unintentional.
mishapqueen
Posts: 3,995
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2/5/2015 5:00:40 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 2/5/2015 4:59:03 PM, BlackVoid wrote:
At 2/5/2015 4:58:12 PM, mishapqueen wrote:
At 2/5/2015 4:57:28 PM, BlackVoid wrote:
At 2/5/2015 4:49:38 PM, mishapqueen wrote:
The fraternity should be Delta Delta Omega. -.-

lol, I see what you did there.

Oh? What did I do?

The initials are DDO...although it might have been unintentional.

It was intentional. I also know some Greek. :3
You cannot choose whether or not you will live by rules, but you can choose which rules you will live by. --Me

"I was wrong. Squirrels are objectively superior to bunnies in every conceivable dimension."
--Joey

"Silence is golden, duct tape is silver" --PetersSmith

Nunc aut Numquam