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Church of NAC, Mass #2

imabench
Posts: 21,220
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3/6/2015 7:34:02 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
Good evening fellow churchgoers and casual browsers who wandered into this mass out of sheer curiosity. I invite you to take a seat, as I read from the holy book of our Church that contain the lessons and wisdom from the almighty Mod, who passed those lessons and wisdom to his one true son, our prophet, the great Chickadee. Praise be onto Chickadee!

So come on in,
Listen up ,
Take a seat,
And shut the f*ck up.
Its religion time! :D

========================================================================

One night in, lets say July, no, August, yeah August is better. One night in August, a young Chickadee roamed over the open fields of the Arts forum, a long abandoned forum that was once populated by an ancient civilization. The lands now barren, Chickadee sought peace there regularly, and traveled to the fields of the Art forum to meditate, ponder the mysteries of the universe, and wonder if he forgot if he left the front door unlocked after he had left.

It was here in the fields of the Art forum that the great and almighty Mod appeared, in the form of a burning bush that Chickadee had already lit on fire to cook a weasel he had clubbed to death with a shoe. The weasel was very fat and plump, and it would make a delicious meal for a young Chickadee who had spent much of the day wandering around aimlessly and doing nothing very productive, which we can all relate to.

Anyways, Mod appeared to Chickadee and produced to him the 5 holy commandments for how followers of the Church of NAC should live their lives. The 5 commandments were carved into a plaque made of gold, because Mod was a firm believer in basing currency off of the price of gold. He was old-school like that.

Mod said onto Chickadee "Chickadee, do not melt this golden plague down for its gold and then use the money to surround yourself with strippers at the local pub, for several of those strippers are actually she-males, but more importantly, I have inscribed 5 commandments onto the plaque which others must know and practice to lead good, civil lives"

Chickadee excitedly held the 5 Commandments and swore to protect them with his life, before he swore and dropped the 5 Commandments, for they were hot as sh** to hold, as Mod had handed them to Chickadee while he was still a burning bush.

After dusting off the dust from the golden plaque, Chickadee asked Mod what they said, for Mod had written the 5 Commandments using his own hand, and his hand-writing was god-awful. Chickadee remarked that Mod's handwriting looked like the scratches inside a wooden coop that housed chickens, calling Mod's handwriting 'Chicken Scratch' and thus inventing the term. Praise be onto Chickadee!

Mod then began read aloud each of the 5 Commandments to Chickadee, before Chickadee asked that Mod instead start in reverse order, going from 5 to 1, to make it seem like Mod was announcing the top plays similar to Sportscenter. Mod thought that was an excellent idea, and thus read the 5 Commandments starting with number 5 and then going upwards.

After Chickadee learned what Mod had (attempted to) wrote, Chickadee headed straight for the town to preach of the lessons Mod had taught to him. He ran fast and took long elegant strides, running on the energy from that cooked weasel he had killed earlier, and soon he was in the middle of the town square, with tens of onlookers watching.

Chickadee recited the 5 Commandments to the crowd, doing so starting from #5 and making his way upward, similar to Sportscenter, much to the crowd's pleasure. Chickadee read aloud each commandment to the crowds people, who after each commandment would ask if that meant they could no longer go see the strippers in the local pub, to which Chickadee would say 'No'. The Crowd rejoiced after each no, and after Chickadee had read all the commandments to the crowd, they rejoiced and accepted the 5 commandments as the law of the land, before making their way into the local pub to watch the strippers for the rest of the night.

Praise be onto Chickadee!

That day in April, did I say August before? I meant April.

That day in April, a new holiday was founded to celebrate the arrival of Chickadee with the gift of the gold plaque of the 5 Commandments. April 1st would from that day on be known as 'Debauchery Day', where on that day and that day only, people did not have to obey the 5 Commandments and do literally whatever the f*** they wanted.

Praise be onto Chickadee!

========================================================================

After a heavy night of partying, consumption of alcohol, and some with sore anuses from the she-male strippers, Chickadee woke up his men, for the next day had started, and they all needed to go to work, otherwise their d*ckhead of a boss would give them a hard time over it.

The men though still wished to party, and were saddened that they would have to wait a whole year for the holiday to come around again, for there existed no other holidays in the world.

Chickadee then believed that it was the will of Mod that there be more holidays for people to be able to blow off work and get hammered drunk, so Chickadee invented three more holidays in addition to April 1st of Debauchery Day.

The second holiday was to take place on December 27th, or 12-27, the day that Chickadee was born. Chickadee was meant to be born 2 days earlier, but Chickadee put off being born because he was slaying it in Call of Duty Advanced Warfare, holding down a 30-kill-streak for about 38 and a half hours. To celebrate 12-27, Chickadee declared that everyone should spend time with their families and loved them, which made the people groan, for they didn't like some of their family members.... To fix this, Chickadee also added that people must give presents to one another, and that got the crowd's attention and applause.

The third holiday to be celebrated was March 2nd, which would be called 'Crusade Day', to celebrate the first time Chickadee kicked the sh** out of a guy who would merge lanes in traffic without using his blinker first, vowing to launch a crusade to kick the sh** out of all other bad drivers he came across. It also happened to be that March 2nd was the same day that Pope Ima I led a successful crusade against the devil 420, who attempted to invade DDO but was beaten back into the abyss after about 3 hours. To celebrate Crusade Day, Chickadee declared that everyone be able to run someone off the road if they were a bad driver, to which the crowd applauded, for bad drivers had plagued the town since the invention of women. And Asians. And people without insurance. And old people. But mostly Asians.

And the fourth and final holiday for followers of the Church of NAC to be made was November 5th, 'Remembrance Day', where people would celebrate the day by chanting "Remember remember the 5th of November', just to scare the sh** out of other people who hadn't seen the movie V for Vendetta, which was Chickadee's favorite movie.

Praise be onto Chickadee!
Kevin24018 : "He's just so mean it makes me want to ball up my fists and stamp on the ground"
Geogeer: "Nobody is dumb enough to become my protege."

7/14/16 = The Presidency Dies

DDO: THE MOVIE = http://www.debate.org...
http://www.debate.org...

VP of DDO from Dec 14th 2014 to Jan 1st 2015
imabench
Posts: 21,220
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3/6/2015 7:49:48 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 3/6/2015 7:44:21 PM, RevNge wrote:
I is half-Asian

Does that mean I won't get a license when I'm a big boy

Nah it just means it will be 50% more likely that you become a bad driver :P
Kevin24018 : "He's just so mean it makes me want to ball up my fists and stamp on the ground"
Geogeer: "Nobody is dumb enough to become my protege."

7/14/16 = The Presidency Dies

DDO: THE MOVIE = http://www.debate.org...
http://www.debate.org...

VP of DDO from Dec 14th 2014 to Jan 1st 2015
RevNge
Posts: 13,835
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3/6/2015 7:52:51 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 3/6/2015 7:49:48 PM, imabench wrote:
At 3/6/2015 7:44:21 PM, RevNge wrote:
I is half-Asian

Does that mean I won't get a license when I'm a big boy

Nah it just means it will be 50% more likely that you become a bad driver :P

do i get to stick chopstick up an aah?
imabench
Posts: 21,220
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3/6/2015 8:00:30 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 3/6/2015 7:52:51 PM, RevNge wrote:
At 3/6/2015 7:49:48 PM, imabench wrote:
At 3/6/2015 7:44:21 PM, RevNge wrote:
I is half-Asian

Does that mean I won't get a license when I'm a big boy

Nah it just means it will be 50% more likely that you become a bad driver :P

do i get to stick chopstick up an aah?

Yessir
Kevin24018 : "He's just so mean it makes me want to ball up my fists and stamp on the ground"
Geogeer: "Nobody is dumb enough to become my protege."

7/14/16 = The Presidency Dies

DDO: THE MOVIE = http://www.debate.org...
http://www.debate.org...

VP of DDO from Dec 14th 2014 to Jan 1st 2015
RevNge
Posts: 13,835
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3/6/2015 8:01:06 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 3/6/2015 8:00:30 PM, imabench wrote:
At 3/6/2015 7:52:51 PM, RevNge wrote:
At 3/6/2015 7:49:48 PM, imabench wrote:
At 3/6/2015 7:44:21 PM, RevNge wrote:
I is half-Asian

Does that mean I won't get a license when I'm a big boy

Nah it just means it will be 50% more likely that you become a bad driver :P

do i get to stick chopstick up an aah?

Yessir

Good

*goes off to find Yama*
BblackkBbirdd
Posts: 919
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3/7/2015 1:51:33 AM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 3/6/2015 7:34:02 PM, imabench wrote:
Good evening fellow churchgoers and casual browsers who wandered into this mass out of sheer curiosity. I invite you to take a seat, as I read from the holy book of our Church that contain the lessons and wisdom from the almighty Mod, who passed those lessons and wisdom to his one true son, our prophet, the great Chickadee. Praise be onto Chickadee!

So come on in,
Listen up ,
Take a seat,
And shut the f*ck up.
Its religion time! :D

========================================================================

One night in, lets say July, no, August, yeah August is better. One night in August, a young Chickadee roamed over the open fields of the Arts forum, a long abandoned forum that was once populated by an ancient civilization. The lands now barren, Chickadee sought peace there regularly, and traveled to the fields of the Art forum to meditate, ponder the mysteries of the universe, and wonder if he forgot if he left the front door unlocked after he had left.

It was here in the fields of the Art forum that the great and almighty Mod appeared, in the form of a burning bush that Chickadee had already lit on fire to cook a weasel he had clubbed to death with a shoe. The weasel was very fat and plump, and it would make a delicious meal for a young Chickadee who had spent much of the day wandering around aimlessly and doing nothing very productive, which we can all relate to.

Anyways, Mod appeared to Chickadee and produced to him the 5 holy commandments for how followers of the Church of NAC should live their lives. The 5 commandments were carved into a plaque made of gold, because Mod was a firm believer in basing currency off of the price of gold. He was old-school like that.

Mod said onto Chickadee "Chickadee, do not melt this golden plague down for its gold and then use the money to surround yourself with strippers at the local pub, for several of those strippers are actually she-males, but more importantly, I have inscribed 5 commandments onto the plaque which others must know and practice to lead good, civil lives"

Chickadee excitedly held the 5 Commandments and swore to protect them with his life, before he swore and dropped the 5 Commandments, for they were hot as sh** to hold, as Mod had handed them to Chickadee while he was still a burning bush.

After dusting off the dust from the golden plaque, Chickadee asked Mod what they said, for Mod had written the 5 Commandments using his own hand, and his hand-writing was god-awful. Chickadee remarked that Mod's handwriting looked like the scratches inside a wooden coop that housed chickens, calling Mod's handwriting 'Chicken Scratch' and thus inventing the term. Praise be onto Chickadee!

Mod then began read aloud each of the 5 Commandments to Chickadee, before Chickadee asked that Mod instead start in reverse order, going from 5 to 1, to make it seem like Mod was announcing the top plays similar to Sportscenter. Mod thought that was an excellent idea, and thus read the 5 Commandments starting with number 5 and then going upwards.

After Chickadee learned what Mod had (attempted to) wrote, Chickadee headed straight for the town to preach of the lessons Mod had taught to him. He ran fast and took long elegant strides, running on the energy from that cooked weasel he had killed earlier, and soon he was in the middle of the town square, with tens of onlookers watching.

Chickadee recited the 5 Commandments to the crowd, doing so starting from #5 and making his way upward, similar to Sportscenter, much to the crowd's pleasure. Chickadee read aloud each commandment to the crowds people, who after each commandment would ask if that meant they could no longer go see the strippers in the local pub, to which Chickadee would say 'No'. The Crowd rejoiced after each no, and after Chickadee had read all the commandments to the crowd, they rejoiced and accepted the 5 commandments as the law of the land, before making their way into the local pub to watch the strippers for the rest of the night.

Praise be onto Chickadee!

That day in April, did I say August before? I meant April.

That day in April, a new holiday was founded to celebrate the arrival of Chickadee with the gift of the gold plaque of the 5 Commandments. April 1st would from that day on be known as 'Debauchery Day', where on that day and that day only, people did not have to obey the 5 Commandments and do literally whatever the f*** they wanted.

Praise be onto Chickadee!

========================================================================

After a heavy night of partying, consumption of alcohol, and some with sore anuses from the she-male strippers, Chickadee woke up his men, for the next day had started, and they all needed to go to work, otherwise their d*ckhead of a boss would give them a hard time over it.

The men though still wished to party, and were saddened that they would have to wait a whole year for the holiday to come around again, for there existed no other holidays in the world.

Chickadee then believed that it was the will of Mod that there be more holidays for people to be able to blow off work and get hammered drunk, so Chickadee invented three more holidays in addition to April 1st of Debauchery Day.

The second holiday was to take place on December 27th, or 12-27, the day that Chickadee was born. Chickadee was meant to be born 2 days earlier, but Chickadee put off being born because he was slaying it in Call of Duty Advanced Warfare, holding down a 30-kill-streak for about 38 and a half hours. To celebrate 12-27, Chickadee declared that everyone should spend time with their families and loved them, which made the people groan, for they didn't like some of their family members.... To fix this, Chickadee also added that people must give presents to one another, and that got the crowd's attention and applause.

The third holiday to be celebrated was March 2nd, which would be called 'Crusade Day', to celebrate the first time Chickadee kicked the sh** out of a guy who would merge lanes in traffic without using his blinker first, vowing to launch a crusade to kick the sh** out of all other bad drivers he came across. It also happened to be that March 2nd was the same day that Pope Ima I led a successful crusade against the devil 420, who attempted to invade DDO but was beaten back into the abyss after about 3 hours. To celebrate Crusade Day, Chickadee declared that everyone be able to run someone off the road if they were a bad driver, to which the crowd applauded, for bad drivers had plagued the town since the invention of women. And Asians. And people without insurance. And old people. But mostly Asians.

And the fourth and final holiday for followers of the Church of NAC to be made was November 5th, 'Remembrance Day', where people would celebrate the day by chanting "Remember remember the 5th of November', just to scare the sh** out of other people who hadn't seen the movie V for Vendetta, which was Chickadee's favorite movie.

Praise be onto Chickadee!

What a beautiful story about out Lord.
Praise be onto Chickadee
SebUK
Posts: 850
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3/7/2015 2:05:23 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 3/6/2015 7:34:02 PM, imabench wrote:
Good evening fellow churchgoers and casual browsers who wandered into this mass out of sheer curiosity. I invite you to take a seat, as I read from the holy book of our Church that contain the lessons and wisdom from the almighty Mod, who passed those lessons and wisdom to his one true son, our prophet, the great Chickadee. Praise be onto Chickadee!

So come on in,
Listen up ,
Take a seat,
And shut the f*ck up.
Its religion time! :D

========================================================================

One night in, lets say July, no, August, yeah August is better. One night in August, a young Chickadee roamed over the open fields of the Arts forum, a long abandoned forum that was once populated by an ancient civilization. The lands now barren, Chickadee sought peace there regularly, and traveled to the fields of the Art forum to meditate, ponder the mysteries of the universe, and wonder if he forgot if he left the front door unlocked after he had left.

It was here in the fields of the Art forum that the great and almighty Mod appeared, in the form of a burning bush that Chickadee had already lit on fire to cook a weasel he had clubbed to death with a shoe. The weasel was very fat and plump, and it would make a delicious meal for a young Chickadee who had spent much of the day wandering around aimlessly and doing nothing very productive, which we can all relate to.

Anyways, Mod appeared to Chickadee and produced to him the 5 holy commandments for how followers of the Church of NAC should live their lives. The 5 commandments were carved into a plaque made of gold, because Mod was a firm believer in basing currency off of the price of gold. He was old-school like that.

Mod said onto Chickadee "Chickadee, do not melt this golden plague down for its gold and then use the money to surround yourself with strippers at the local pub, for several of those strippers are actually she-males, but more importantly, I have inscribed 5 commandments onto the plaque which others must know and practice to lead good, civil lives"

Chickadee excitedly held the 5 Commandments and swore to protect them with his life, before he swore and dropped the 5 Commandments, for they were hot as sh** to hold, as Mod had handed them to Chickadee while he was still a burning bush.

After dusting off the dust from the golden plaque, Chickadee asked Mod what they said, for Mod had written the 5 Commandments using his own hand, and his hand-writing was god-awful. Chickadee remarked that Mod's handwriting looked like the scratches inside a wooden coop that housed chickens, calling Mod's handwriting 'Chicken Scratch' and thus inventing the term. Praise be onto Chickadee!

Mod then began read aloud each of the 5 Commandments to Chickadee, before Chickadee asked that Mod instead start in reverse order, going from 5 to 1, to make it seem like Mod was announcing the top plays similar to Sportscenter. Mod thought that was an excellent idea, and thus read the 5 Commandments starting with number 5 and then going upwards.

After Chickadee learned what Mod had (attempted to) wrote, Chickadee headed straight for the town to preach of the lessons Mod had taught to him. He ran fast and took long elegant strides, running on the energy from that cooked weasel he had killed earlier, and soon he was in the middle of the town square, with tens of onlookers watching.

Chickadee recited the 5 Commandments to the crowd, doing so starting from #5 and making his way upward, similar to Sportscenter, much to the crowd's pleasure. Chickadee read aloud each commandment to the crowds people, who after each commandment would ask if that meant they could no longer go see the strippers in the local pub, to which Chickadee would say 'No'. The Crowd rejoiced after each no, and after Chickadee had read all the commandments to the crowd, they rejoiced and accepted the 5 commandments as the law of the land, before making their way into the local pub to watch the strippers for the rest of the night.

Praise be onto Chickadee!

That day in April, did I say August before? I meant April.

That day in April, a new holiday was founded to celebrate the arrival of Chickadee with the gift of the gold plaque of the 5 Commandments. April 1st would from that day on be known as 'Debauchery Day', where on that day and that day only, people did not have to obey the 5 Commandments and do literally whatever the f*** they wanted.

Praise be onto Chickadee!

========================================================================

After a heavy night of partying, consumption of alcohol, and some with sore anuses from the she-male strippers, Chickadee woke up his men, for the next day had started, and they all needed to go to work, otherwise their d*ckhead of a boss would give them a hard time over it.

The men though still wished to party, and were saddened that they would have to wait a whole year for the holiday to come around again, for there existed no other holidays in the world.

Chickadee then believed that it was the will of Mod that there be more holidays for people to be able to blow off work and get hammered drunk, so Chickadee invented three more holidays in addition to April 1st of Debauchery Day.

The second holiday was to take place on December 27th, or 12-27, the day that Chickadee was born. Chickadee was meant to be born 2 days earlier, but Chickadee put off being born because he was slaying it in Call of Duty Advanced Warfare, holding down a 30-kill-streak for about 38 and a half hours. To celebrate 12-27, Chickadee declared that everyone should spend time with their families and loved them, which made the people groan, for they didn't like some of their family members.... To fix this, Chickadee also added that people must give presents to one another, and that got the crowd's attention and applause.

The third holiday to be celebrated was March 2nd, which would be called 'Crusade Day', to celebrate the first time Chickadee kicked the sh** out of a guy who would merge lanes in traffic without using his blinker first, vowing to launch a crusade to kick the sh** out of all other bad drivers he came across. It also happened to be that March 2nd was the same day that Pope Ima I led a successful crusade against the devil 420, who attempted to invade DDO but was beaten back into the abyss after about 3 hours. To celebrate Crusade Day, Chickadee declared that everyone be able to run someone off the road if they were a bad driver, to which the crowd applauded, for bad drivers had plagued the town since the invention of women. And Asians. And people without insurance. And old people. But mostly Asians.

And the fourth and final holiday for followers of the Church of NAC to be made was November 5th, 'Remembrance Day', where people would celebrate the day by chanting "Remember remember the 5th of November', just to scare the sh** out of other people who hadn't seen the movie V for Vendetta, which was Chickadee's favorite movie.

Praise be onto Chickadee!

Oh Praise be onto Chickadee, our benevolent lord.
I WILL DECIDE WHAT THIS DEBATE IS ABOUT. I AM SPIRITUAL, NOT RELIGIOYUS. YOU DONT HAVE TO BE RELIGIOUS TO BELIEVE IN GOD, AND YOU DO WORSHIP MONEY IF YOU CARE MORE ABOUT YOUR WALLET THAAN YOU DO THE POOR. YOU ARE A TROLL THAT IS OUT FOR ATTENTUION."- SitaraMusica