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Church of NAC, Mass 5

imabench
Posts: 21,219
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4/10/2015 3:36:31 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
Good evening fellow churchgoers and casual browsers who wandered into this mass out of sheer curiosity. I invite you to take a seat, as I read from the holy book of our Church that contain the lessons and wisdom from the almighty Mod, who passed those lessons and wisdom to his one true son, our prophet, the great Chickadee. Praise be onto Chickadee!

So come on in,
Listen up ,
Take a seat,
And shut the f*ck up.
Its religion time! :D

========================================================================

In the time of Chickadee, there were many false prophets who spread false messages. Some prophets claimed to be the voice of mod, others claimed to be born of mod. Either way, they were all complete idiots, and because they carried false messages of Mod, they had to raise their voices to try to drown out the correct teachings of Chickadee, since the only way an idiot can have his wrong message heard was to say it the loudest.

These false prophets were quickly dealt with by Chickadee, who through reasoned discussion, debate, and sometimes a knife to the throat, always managed to bring the false prophets to his side and to give up preaching their false teachings. Sometime it was in their throat, sometimes it was on a boat, once in a while it would be in a pie, other times right in they eye.

^ You can tell it happened because it rhymes.

Anyways, Chickadee had just wandered into a new city to preach his message, where he encountered the most powerful false prophet he had ever met... He was stupider and more stubborn than all the other false prophets that Chickadee had met before. His message was the loudest and also the dumbest, he held no restraint and he had no dignity. The lowest life form you could ever hope to come across in your life, not even homeless people who were inches from death would sacrifice their dignity to accept help from this person, who would never have given them help in the first place

Lets just call him Ted Cruz.

He loudly preached his message to the people of the city, called Texas, to which only the most brain dead people would hear him out. Others who had enough sense saw the faults in his message, and went back to their normal business of using military-grade rocket launchers for duck hunting.

Chickadee approached the foul man in an effort to get him to see the error in his message and introduce him to the message he carried, the one true message of Mod. Ted Cruz cried out in agony, as logic and reason were his two biggest weaknesses. He lashed out at Chickadee and struck him, and a street fight ensued.

Chickadee whipped out his pocket knife, wondering if the blade would be deep enough to cut through the tremendous amount of neck fat that Ted Cruz wore underneath his chin like a girdle. Ted Cruz produced a baseball bat with nails coming out of it from all sides, and begun swinging it wildly, like a man possessed by a ghost, or rabies, or a ghost who had been bitten by rabies.

Where Ted Cruz's tactics were wild and unrestrained, Chickadee remained cold and calculated, and he waited for the ideal moment to strike. He swiftly dodged every swing Ted Cruz made, trying to get him to tire himself out so that then he could strike back. But Ted Cruz's rage didn't falter, as he called upon his inner strengths of stupidity and idiocy to endlessly fuel his wild banshee attacks. Chickadee then prayed to the lord Mod for assistance and guidance, asking how he could defeat such a stubborn larda**.

Mod heard his pleas, and upon looking into Ted Cruz's behavior, saw him fit to be smited. Mod had never directly struck someone before, but seeing the behavior of this lunatic quickly made him realize there was no other way he was to be handled. And so, Mod decided to do the unthinkable.

He would use, the BANHAMMAAAAAAAAAAA

Chickadee did not hear back from the Lord Mod, and feared that his request for help didnt go through. Ted Cruz's rage went on, and his accuracy was growing better, as Chickadee more and more narrowly dodged Ted Cruz's attacks. He could not keep evading this much for much more time, but he still could not see the perfect time to attack.

Then, as Ted Cruz was loading up for a crushing blow on Chickadee, a great hammer fell from the sky, as the word BANHAMMAAAAAAAAAA echoed through the heavens and the atmosphere. The hammer plunged into the Earth right where Ted Cruz once stood, smashing him into the ground so hard that rumor has it he plunged directly through the Earth's crust, mantle, outer core, and inner core straight into the depths of the Religious forum.

Most people though think he probably just died.

The people of the city of Texas were amazed, for no one had ever managed to silence or beat Ted Cruz before. Not only that, the way that Chickadee had beaten Ted Cruz made all of them believers that he was as he claimed the one true son of Mod, and that what he was preaching was indeed the truth.

The people of Texas rejoiced, and word soon swept to all reaches of the city of what had happen. Thousands of them began to flock to Chickadee's sermons that he gave around the city, informing the citizens of the city about the message of Mod. When asked about what it was that killed Ted Cruz, Chickadee would simply reply,

'The banhammaaaaaaa'

And that is the story of the first time that the Lord Mod used the banhammaaaaaaa on a completely terrible person.

Praise be onto Chickadee!
Kevin24018 : "He's just so mean it makes me want to ball up my fists and stamp on the ground"
Geogeer: "Nobody is dumb enough to become my protege."

7/14/16 = The Presidency Dies

DDO: THE MOVIE = http://www.debate.org...
http://www.debate.org...

VP of DDO from Dec 14th 2014 to Jan 1st 2015
Arcanas
Posts: 198
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4/10/2015 3:55:11 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 4/10/2015 3:36:31 PM, imabench wrote:
Good evening fellow churchgoers and casual browsers who wandered into this mass out of sheer curiosity. I invite you to take a seat, as I read from the holy book of our Church that contain the lessons and wisdom from the almighty Mod, who passed those lessons and wisdom to his one true son, our prophet, the great Chickadee. Praise be onto Chickadee!

So come on in,
Listen up ,
Take a seat,
And shut the f*ck up.
Its religion time! :D

========================================================================

In the time of Chickadee, there were many false prophets who spread false messages. Some prophets claimed to be the voice of mod, others claimed to be born of mod. Either way, they were all complete idiots, and because they carried false messages of Mod, they had to raise their voices to try to drown out the correct teachings of Chickadee, since the only way an idiot can have his wrong message heard was to say it the loudest.

These false prophets were quickly dealt with by Chickadee, who through reasoned discussion, debate, and sometimes a knife to the throat, always managed to bring the false prophets to his side and to give up preaching their false teachings. Sometime it was in their throat, sometimes it was on a boat, once in a while it would be in a pie, other times right in they eye.

^ You can tell it happened because it rhymes.

Anyways, Chickadee had just wandered into a new city to preach his message, where he encountered the most powerful false prophet he had ever met... He was stupider and more stubborn than all the other false prophets that Chickadee had met before. His message was the loudest and also the dumbest, he held no restraint and he had no dignity. The lowest life form you could ever hope to come across in your life, not even homeless people who were inches from death would sacrifice their dignity to accept help from this person, who would never have given them help in the first place

Lets just call him Ted Cruz.

He loudly preached his message to the people of the city, called Texas, to which only the most brain dead people would hear him out. Others who had enough sense saw the faults in his message, and went back to their normal business of using military-grade rocket launchers for duck hunting.

Chickadee approached the foul man in an effort to get him to see the error in his message and introduce him to the message he carried, the one true message of Mod. Ted Cruz cried out in agony, as logic and reason were his two biggest weaknesses. He lashed out at Chickadee and struck him, and a street fight ensued.

Chickadee whipped out his pocket knife, wondering if the blade would be deep enough to cut through the tremendous amount of neck fat that Ted Cruz wore underneath his chin like a girdle. Ted Cruz produced a baseball bat with nails coming out of it from all sides, and begun swinging it wildly, like a man possessed by a ghost, or rabies, or a ghost who had been bitten by rabies.

Where Ted Cruz's tactics were wild and unrestrained, Chickadee remained cold and calculated, and he waited for the ideal moment to strike. He swiftly dodged every swing Ted Cruz made, trying to get him to tire himself out so that then he could strike back. But Ted Cruz's rage didn't falter, as he called upon his inner strengths of stupidity and idiocy to endlessly fuel his wild banshee attacks. Chickadee then prayed to the lord Mod for assistance and guidance, asking how he could defeat such a stubborn larda**.

Mod heard his pleas, and upon looking into Ted Cruz's behavior, saw him fit to be smited. Mod had never directly struck someone before, but seeing the behavior of this lunatic quickly made him realize there was no other way he was to be handled. And so, Mod decided to do the unthinkable.

He would use, the BANHAMMAAAAAAAAAAA

Chickadee did not hear back from the Lord Mod, and feared that his request for help didnt go through. Ted Cruz's rage went on, and his accuracy was growing better, as Chickadee more and more narrowly dodged Ted Cruz's attacks. He could not keep evading this much for much more time, but he still could not see the perfect time to attack.

Then, as Ted Cruz was loading up for a crushing blow on Chickadee, a great hammer fell from the sky, as the word BANHAMMAAAAAAAAAA echoed through the heavens and the atmosphere. The hammer plunged into the Earth right where Ted Cruz once stood, smashing him into the ground so hard that rumor has it he plunged directly through the Earth's crust, mantle, outer core, and inner core straight into the depths of the Religious forum.

Most people though think he probably just died.

The people of the city of Texas were amazed, for no one had ever managed to silence or beat Ted Cruz before. Not only that, the way that Chickadee had beaten Ted Cruz made all of them believers that he was as he claimed the one true son of Mod, and that what he was preaching was indeed the truth.

The people of Texas rejoiced, and word soon swept to all reaches of the city of what had happen. Thousands of them began to flock to Chickadee's sermons that he gave around the city, informing the citizens of the city about the message of Mod. When asked about what it was that killed Ted Cruz, Chickadee would simply reply,

'The banhammaaaaaaa'

And that is the story of the first time that the Lord Mod used the banhammaaaaaaa on a completely terrible person.

Praise be onto Chickadee!

Amen brother!
BblackkBbirdd
Posts: 919
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4/10/2015 5:33:50 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 4/10/2015 3:36:31 PM, imabench wrote:
Good evening fellow churchgoers and casual browsers who wandered into this mass out of sheer curiosity. I invite you to take a seat, as I read from the holy book of our Church that contain the lessons and wisdom from the almighty Mod, who passed those lessons and wisdom to his one true son, our prophet, the great Chickadee. Praise be onto Chickadee!

So come on in,
Listen up ,
Take a seat,
And shut the f*ck up.
Its religion time! :D

========================================================================

In the time of Chickadee, there were many false prophets who spread false messages. Some prophets claimed to be the voice of mod, others claimed to be born of mod. Either way, they were all complete idiots, and because they carried false messages of Mod, they had to raise their voices to try to drown out the correct teachings of Chickadee, since the only way an idiot can have his wrong message heard was to say it the loudest.

These false prophets were quickly dealt with by Chickadee, who through reasoned discussion, debate, and sometimes a knife to the throat, always managed to bring the false prophets to his side and to give up preaching their false teachings. Sometime it was in their throat, sometimes it was on a boat, once in a while it would be in a pie, other times right in they eye.

^ You can tell it happened because it rhymes.

Anyways, Chickadee had just wandered into a new city to preach his message, where he encountered the most powerful false prophet he had ever met... He was stupider and more stubborn than all the other false prophets that Chickadee had met before. His message was the loudest and also the dumbest, he held no restraint and he had no dignity. The lowest life form you could ever hope to come across in your life, not even homeless people who were inches from death would sacrifice their dignity to accept help from this person, who would never have given them help in the first place

Lets just call him Ted Cruz.

He loudly preached his message to the people of the city, called Texas, to which only the most brain dead people would hear him out. Others who had enough sense saw the faults in his message, and went back to their normal business of using military-grade rocket launchers for duck hunting.

Chickadee approached the foul man in an effort to get him to see the error in his message and introduce him to the message he carried, the one true message of Mod. Ted Cruz cried out in agony, as logic and reason were his two biggest weaknesses. He lashed out at Chickadee and struck him, and a street fight ensued.

Chickadee whipped out his pocket knife, wondering if the blade would be deep enough to cut through the tremendous amount of neck fat that Ted Cruz wore underneath his chin like a girdle. Ted Cruz produced a baseball bat with nails coming out of it from all sides, and begun swinging it wildly, like a man possessed by a ghost, or rabies, or a ghost who had been bitten by rabies.

Where Ted Cruz's tactics were wild and unrestrained, Chickadee remained cold and calculated, and he waited for the ideal moment to strike. He swiftly dodged every swing Ted Cruz made, trying to get him to tire himself out so that then he could strike back. But Ted Cruz's rage didn't falter, as he called upon his inner strengths of stupidity and idiocy to endlessly fuel his wild banshee attacks. Chickadee then prayed to the lord Mod for assistance and guidance, asking how he could defeat such a stubborn larda**.

Mod heard his pleas, and upon looking into Ted Cruz's behavior, saw him fit to be smited. Mod had never directly struck someone before, but seeing the behavior of this lunatic quickly made him realize there was no other way he was to be handled. And so, Mod decided to do the unthinkable.

He would use, the BANHAMMAAAAAAAAAAA

Chickadee did not hear back from the Lord Mod, and feared that his request for help didnt go through. Ted Cruz's rage went on, and his accuracy was growing better, as Chickadee more and more narrowly dodged Ted Cruz's attacks. He could not keep evading this much for much more time, but he still could not see the perfect time to attack.

Then, as Ted Cruz was loading up for a crushing blow on Chickadee, a great hammer fell from the sky, as the word BANHAMMAAAAAAAAAA echoed through the heavens and the atmosphere. The hammer plunged into the Earth right where Ted Cruz once stood, smashing him into the ground so hard that rumor has it he plunged directly through the Earth's crust, mantle, outer core, and inner core straight into the depths of the Religious forum.

Most people though think he probably just died.

The people of the city of Texas were amazed, for no one had ever managed to silence or beat Ted Cruz before. Not only that, the way that Chickadee had beaten Ted Cruz made all of them believers that he was as he claimed the one true son of Mod, and that what he was preaching was indeed the truth.

The people of Texas rejoiced, and word soon swept to all reaches of the city of what had happen. Thousands of them began to flock to Chickadee's sermons that he gave around the city, informing the citizens of the city about the message of Mod. When asked about what it was that killed Ted Cruz, Chickadee would simply reply,

'The banhammaaaaaaa'

And that is the story of the first time that the Lord Mod used the banhammaaaaaaa on a completely terrible person.

Praise be onto Chickadee!

Praise be onto Allah...I mean Chickadee
imabench
Posts: 21,219
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4/10/2015 5:42:12 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 4/10/2015 5:33:50 PM, BblackkBbirdd wrote:

Praise be onto Allah...I mean Chickadee

Better watch yourself there
Kevin24018 : "He's just so mean it makes me want to ball up my fists and stamp on the ground"
Geogeer: "Nobody is dumb enough to become my protege."

7/14/16 = The Presidency Dies

DDO: THE MOVIE = http://www.debate.org...
http://www.debate.org...

VP of DDO from Dec 14th 2014 to Jan 1st 2015
ButterCatX
Posts: 2,228
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4/12/2015 8:18:43 AM
Posted: 1 year ago
Praise be onto chickadee, the mod, and his most holy banhamma
I bet fanfics are already being posted on random blogs about us.-Vaarka

Butters preformed his duty to the town and died with honor, he helped us kill scum, so we know have to go and make sure his death wasn't in vain and win this game for him.-lannan13

All hail the great and mighty Butters, who died for our inactive cause.-Vaarka

fuckith offith, lol.-Ore(talking to me)

And guess what happened to FT? He got raped to death.-Xlav

You are so obviously town I love you man.-VOT
cybertron1998
Posts: 5,818
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4/12/2015 11:23:37 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
Once again: What...the...fvck
Epsilon: There are so many stories where some brave hero decides to give their life to save the day, and because of their sacrifice, the good guys win, the survivors all cheer, and everybody lives happily ever after. But the hero... never gets to see that ending. They'll never know if their sacrifice actually made a difference. They'll never know if the day was really saved. In the end, they just have to have faith.