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The Return of The King: DDO Burger King S2

thett3
Posts: 14,371
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6/29/2015 12:24:51 AM
Posted: 1 year ago
Episode 1


Deep in the mountain range that separates the Debates and the Opinions sections, between two opposing peaks, there lies a serene and clear lake. At first glance one would think that this lake was a hidden treasure, an oasis of nature untouched by man. That is, until they saw the ragtag group huddled around a flickering campfire.

It was at the head of this little group of his closest associates, in worn out and muddy purple robes that The King sat. Upon his head and obscuring his face sat a burger king bag. The only part of The King's face that was visible were his icy blue eyes, through which one could almost see the gears in his head whirring. Oh, they may have taken over his place as supreme leader of burger king, but he'd be damned if that's the last the saw of him. The King was preparing for a triumphant return.

-------

Romanii just wanted a burger.

Unfortunately, Romanii was also a complete introvert and disagreed with social media for moral reasons and thus, in his own isolated bubble as he was, Romanii remained unaware of the events of the past several months. Unaware of a destructive marketing war of seismic, nay Biblical proportions that made WWII propaganda look like product placement in a dying, daytime soap opera. And so it came to pass that every burger joint he drove by in his Honda Civic was closed. Shuttered off. Abandoned. Left to ruin. They had lost their cool trendiness and thus their legitimacy in the eye of the public. Yes, even Chipotle. Those few that remained open look grim yet proudly flew the rainbow flag to celebrate the Supreme Court's big decision in the vain hope that the millennial generation would forgive them for their obscene amounts of documented microaggressions, but no forgiveness was given and they stood empty. Romanii didn't want to go to one of those...he wanted a vibrant experience.

Suddenly, the blaring of a horn and a flash of red, white and blue!

He had just been cut off by an old beat up pickup truck painted in a faded brown. The Band's "The Night They Drove Old Dixie Down" was blaring. In the back window: The glorious stars and bars of the confederate battle flag. No one cut him off and got away with it. Eating could wait, this man was in for a world of pain.

The brown truck turned off the service road onto a dirt road. Romanii followed. For miles they went on through boundless corn, wheat, and tobacco fields that eventually turned into the thick, green woodland of the DDO frontier. Right before the US border, the truck seemed to realize that someone was following him and made a sharp right turn onto yet a thinner dirt road. This road was covered in old, gnarly dead trees that somehow kept light from filtering in. If random roadside axe murders occurred, it would be on a road like this. Still...in for a penny, in for a pound. Romanii didn't even think. He turned right.

The chase went on. Then just as even his nerve of steel was beginning to wane the forest turned into a sudden clearing where the truck parked. Nestled in, no besieged by trees, lay a simple fast food restaurant, humble and small. What were neither humble nor small were the mass of jacked up trucks surrounding the place, with their garish bumper stickers.

"I'll keep my money, guns, and freedom. You can keep your "change."" Gag.

Romanii got out of his car, fully intending to kick the asss of the rude truck driver who dared to cut him off. That was until he saw him.

From the vehicle emerged a hulking figure of a man. On top of his enormous size, he had the chiseled, weathered features of an early pioneer, like president Andrew Jackson. He was wearing a plaid shirt under mud stained overalls. You know, being cut off really isn't such a big deal...it happens all the time. But it was too late. The large man had seen him staring. He was walking towards him...Romanii remained glued to the spot.

"Well howdy there, partner!" The man spoke in a southern accent so incredibly thick it sounded almost scottish. Extending his hand, he flashed a toothy grin and added "The name is Conservativepolitico."

"Romanii." Deciding to change the subject before CP asked him why he had stalked him here, he quickly asked "What is this place?"

"Son, this here is the last fast food restaurant that stands for AMERICAN values. You're looking at the one and only Chick-Fil-A!"

-------

Dtaylor was finally able to play his Wii U (yeah he plays a Wii U. He's like 12, give him a break). He was playing that really cool built in ghost game with four attractive females who were all chasing his avatar around on the game--it was a metaphor for their attraction to him. He sighed in contentment as he put his arm around one of the girls. Life was finally the way it should be. She gave him a loving smile and, despite the presence of her friends, leaned in for a kiss. Dtaylors heart raced in excitement as he leaned in too.

That's when he was doused with water.

<Get up! Get up immediately!> a voice in his head screamed.

He was dragged out of bed. Blinking in the early morning light, he looked up at his captor. Airmax. Of course.

"Airmax I would really, *really* just rather stay home and play videogames..."

But it was too late. Before he knew it and deaf to his protests he was dressed in traditional Orthdox garments underneath a Burger King managers suit. It was his first day on the job, although since Airmax was going to be there ordering him around he wasn't really going to be managing anything any time soon.

They drove up in Airmax's sports car. It was strange being back at this place...even thought it had been but a day, it felt like a lifetime. After all he'd just witnessed his boss and closest friends get shipped to El Salvador to join a mission trip because they has learned too much about a Jewish conspiracy to take the United States back to a conservative paradise of natural collectivism and organic society. Dtaylor was spared this fate due to his own half-Jewish heritage and his affiliation with the Rothschild family which he had also just learned.

<Meet your crew, Dtaylor> Airmax said. Or rather thought since all Jews communicate through the telekinetic Jew connection.

Dtaylor was introduced to two new Jews, Adam_Godzilla and DarthKirones whose personalities and physical features I'll write in later because I'm too lazy. There was also one team member Dtaylor already knew quite well. Oh yes, quite well indeed.

Irony was sweet.

There before him stood Thett3, a jock known throughout his school as "Thett the mighty". Thett had sandy blonde hair, handsome chiseled features, and a body that somehow combined the bulging muscles of an NFL fullback with the lithe, lean features of a star long distance runner. He was also, unfortunately for him, something of a bully to Dtaylor for his status as a 2000s baby. Some prejudices just can't be overcome. Dtaylor had also assumed him to be a devout Christian. Or maybe an atheist. Or a wiccan. Literally anything else.

He thought scathingly.

Thett made no indication that he heard.

"Are you even Jewish?" Dtaylor repeated, this time in sound.

Thett grinned shiftily. "I'm 1/8th...."

Airmax gave a shrug.

"His blood is pure enough."

Privately he added: <There really aren't that many of us. We take what we can get.>

Dtaylor gave a laugh that sounded suspiciously like a Jew-snicker.

"Let's get down to business, then."

-------

Dtaylors new duties were more of the same. He was to maintain the day to day operations of Burger King (who's reputation was now so scarred that it rarely got any customers) as well as leading secret reconnaissance missions to other fast food joints. There was not much to see. He was also supposed to contact his relatives in the Rothschild family to get their approval for the war effort but that was a long term goal.

It was quite boing.
DDO Vice President

#StandwithBossy

#UnbanTheMadman

#BetOnThett

"Don't quote me, ever." -Max

"My name is max. I'm not a big fan of slacks"- Max rapping

"Walmart should have the opportunity to bribe a politician to it's agenda" -Max

"Thett, you're really good at convincing people you're a decent person"-tulle

"You fit the character of Regina George quite nicely"- Sam

: At 11/12/2016 11:49:40 PM, Raisor wrote:
: thett was right
thett3
Posts: 14,371
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6/29/2015 12:25:17 AM
Posted: 1 year ago
DDO BK season 1: http://www.debate.org...

Season 1 recap: http://www.debate.org...
DDO Vice President

#StandwithBossy

#UnbanTheMadman

#BetOnThett

"Don't quote me, ever." -Max

"My name is max. I'm not a big fan of slacks"- Max rapping

"Walmart should have the opportunity to bribe a politician to it's agenda" -Max

"Thett, you're really good at convincing people you're a decent person"-tulle

"You fit the character of Regina George quite nicely"- Sam

: At 11/12/2016 11:49:40 PM, Raisor wrote:
: thett was right
thett3
Posts: 14,371
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6/29/2015 12:29:42 AM
Posted: 1 year ago
Lol the very last sentence got cut off.

"It was quite boring.

That is, before the explosion."
DDO Vice President

#StandwithBossy

#UnbanTheMadman

#BetOnThett

"Don't quote me, ever." -Max

"My name is max. I'm not a big fan of slacks"- Max rapping

"Walmart should have the opportunity to bribe a politician to it's agenda" -Max

"Thett, you're really good at convincing people you're a decent person"-tulle

"You fit the character of Regina George quite nicely"- Sam

: At 11/12/2016 11:49:40 PM, Raisor wrote:
: thett was right
ShabShoral
Posts: 3,236
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6/29/2015 1:13:10 AM
Posted: 1 year ago
You're one of the reasons I get out of bed in the morning.
"This site is trash as a debate site. It's club penguin for dysfunctional adults."

~ Skepsikyma <3

"Your idea of good writing is like Spinoza mixed with Heidegger."

~ Dylly Dylly Cat Cat

"You seem to aspire to be a cross between a Jewish hipster, an old school WASP aristocrat, and a political iconoclast"

~ Thett the Mighty

"fvck omg ur face"

~ Liz
PetersSmith
Posts: 5,848
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6/29/2015 2:15:03 AM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 6/29/2015 12:24:51 AM, thett3 wrote:

Is it too late to sign up for this?
Empress of DDO (also Poll and Forum "Maintenance" Moderator)

"The two most important days in your life is the day you were born, and the day you find out why."
~Mark Twain

"Wow"
-Doge

"Don't believe everything you read on the internet just because there's a picture with a quote next to it."
~Abraham Lincoln

Guide to the Polls Section: http://www.debate.org...
thett3
Posts: 14,371
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6/29/2015 1:14:55 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 6/29/2015 2:15:03 AM, PetersSmith wrote:
At 6/29/2015 12:24:51 AM, thett3 wrote:

Is it too late to sign up for this?

I never bothered with signups because I always just wanted to put people in if I thought of a role for them, but I have an idea for you so you'll probably be in now
DDO Vice President

#StandwithBossy

#UnbanTheMadman

#BetOnThett

"Don't quote me, ever." -Max

"My name is max. I'm not a big fan of slacks"- Max rapping

"Walmart should have the opportunity to bribe a politician to it's agenda" -Max

"Thett, you're really good at convincing people you're a decent person"-tulle

"You fit the character of Regina George quite nicely"- Sam

: At 11/12/2016 11:49:40 PM, Raisor wrote:
: thett was right
PetersSmith
Posts: 5,848
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6/29/2015 1:20:09 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 6/29/2015 1:14:55 PM, thett3 wrote:
At 6/29/2015 2:15:03 AM, PetersSmith wrote:
At 6/29/2015 12:24:51 AM, thett3 wrote:

Is it too late to sign up for this?

I never bothered with signups because I always just wanted to put people in if I thought of a role for them, but I have an idea for you so you'll probably be in now

Okay
Empress of DDO (also Poll and Forum "Maintenance" Moderator)

"The two most important days in your life is the day you were born, and the day you find out why."
~Mark Twain

"Wow"
-Doge

"Don't believe everything you read on the internet just because there's a picture with a quote next to it."
~Abraham Lincoln

Guide to the Polls Section: http://www.debate.org...
RevNge
Posts: 13,835
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6/29/2015 1:22:01 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 6/29/2015 1:14:55 PM, thett3 wrote:
At 6/29/2015 2:15:03 AM, PetersSmith wrote:
At 6/29/2015 12:24:51 AM, thett3 wrote:

Is it too late to sign up for this?

I never bothered with signups because I always just wanted to put people in if I thought of a role for them, but I have an idea for you so you'll probably be in now

So you already have enough 2000's kids?
Cermank
Posts: 3,773
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7/3/2015 11:14:47 AM
Posted: 1 year ago
Dtaylor was finally able to play his Wii U (yeah he plays a Wii U. He's like 12, give him a break). He was playing that really cool built in ghost game with four attractive females who were all chasing his avatar around on the game--it was a metaphor for their attraction to him. He sighed in contentment as he put his arm around one of the girls. Life was finally the way it should be. She gave him a loving smile and, despite the presence of her friends, leaned in for a kiss. Dtaylors heart raced in excitement as he leaned in too.

Its really a shame how prominent members members of DDO are nothing but a product of patriarchy. It doesn't even anger me now, it just makes me sad. It saddens me how people still objectify females, and consider them nothing but a prop in their daytime fantasies.

Maybe nobody told you thett3, but you partaking in these micro aggressions against women hurts everyone, both males and females. I can only pray that one day you realize that women are flesh and bones too, not mere tools you oppressor.
thett3
Posts: 14,371
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7/3/2015 12:20:07 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 7/3/2015 11:14:47 AM, Cermank wrote:
Dtaylor was finally able to play his Wii U (yeah he plays a Wii U. He's like 12, give him a break). He was playing that really cool built in ghost game with four attractive females who were all chasing his avatar around on the game--it was a metaphor for their attraction to him. He sighed in contentment as he put his arm around one of the girls. Life was finally the way it should be. She gave him a loving smile and, despite the presence of her friends, leaned in for a kiss. Dtaylors heart raced in excitement as he leaned in too.

Its really a shame how prominent members members of DDO are nothing but a product of patriarchy. It doesn't even anger me now, it just makes me sad. It saddens me how people still objectify females, and consider them nothing but a prop in their daytime fantasies.

Umm hello. Airmax can read his mind through the Jew connection and punished him for his objectification. It was a feminist triumph

Maybe nobody told you thett3, but you partaking in these micro aggressions against women hurts everyone, both males and females. I can only pray that one day you realize that women are flesh and bones too, not mere tools you oppressor.
DDO Vice President

#StandwithBossy

#UnbanTheMadman

#BetOnThett

"Don't quote me, ever." -Max

"My name is max. I'm not a big fan of slacks"- Max rapping

"Walmart should have the opportunity to bribe a politician to it's agenda" -Max

"Thett, you're really good at convincing people you're a decent person"-tulle

"You fit the character of Regina George quite nicely"- Sam

: At 11/12/2016 11:49:40 PM, Raisor wrote:
: thett was right
Cermank
Posts: 3,773
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7/3/2015 12:23:19 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 7/3/2015 12:20:07 PM, thett3 wrote:
At 7/3/2015 11:14:47 AM, Cermank wrote:
Dtaylor was finally able to play his Wii U (yeah he plays a Wii U. He's like 12, give him a break). He was playing that really cool built in ghost game with four attractive females who were all chasing his avatar around on the game--it was a metaphor for their attraction to him. He sighed in contentment as he put his arm around one of the girls. Life was finally the way it should be. She gave him a loving smile and, despite the presence of her friends, leaned in for a kiss. Dtaylors heart raced in excitement as he leaned in too.

Its really a shame how prominent members members of DDO are nothing but a product of patriarchy. It doesn't even anger me now, it just makes me sad. It saddens me how people still objectify females, and consider them nothing but a prop in their daytime fantasies.

Umm hello. Airmax can read his mind through the Jew connection and punished him for his objectification. It was a feminist triumph

umm last time i checked airmax was a man. Typical mysogynist author trying to reduce the status of females to that of a damsel in distress. I suppose there were no womyn to deliver that feminist triumph, were there?

Give up

Maybe nobody told you thett3, but you partaking in these micro aggressions against women hurts everyone, both males and females. I can only pray that one day you realize that women are flesh and bones too, not mere tools you oppressor.
thett3
Posts: 14,371
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7/3/2015 12:27:48 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 7/3/2015 12:23:19 PM, Cermank wrote:
At 7/3/2015 12:20:07 PM, thett3 wrote:
At 7/3/2015 11:14:47 AM, Cermank wrote:
Dtaylor was finally able to play his Wii U (yeah he plays a Wii U. He's like 12, give him a break). He was playing that really cool built in ghost game with four attractive females who were all chasing his avatar around on the game--it was a metaphor for their attraction to him. He sighed in contentment as he put his arm around one of the girls. Life was finally the way it should be. She gave him a loving smile and, despite the presence of her friends, leaned in for a kiss. Dtaylors heart raced in excitement as he leaned in too.

Its really a shame how prominent members members of DDO are nothing but a product of patriarchy. It doesn't even anger me now, it just makes me sad. It saddens me how people still objectify females, and consider them nothing but a prop in their daytime fantasies.

Umm hello. Airmax can read his mind through the Jew connection and punished him for his objectification. It was a feminist triumph

umm last time i checked airmax was a man. Typical mysogynist author trying to reduce the status of females to that of a damsel in distress. I suppose there were no womyn to deliver that feminist triumph, were there?

Give up

Well yeah. Did you not read the story? The Jews are a group of ultra-conservative activists, of course he would view it as his place to save a womyn. It's satire of the conservative mind wow


Maybe nobody told you thett3, but you partaking in these micro aggressions against women hurts everyone, both males and females. I can only pray that one day you realize that women are flesh and bones too, not mere tools you oppressor.
DDO Vice President

#StandwithBossy

#UnbanTheMadman

#BetOnThett

"Don't quote me, ever." -Max

"My name is max. I'm not a big fan of slacks"- Max rapping

"Walmart should have the opportunity to bribe a politician to it's agenda" -Max

"Thett, you're really good at convincing people you're a decent person"-tulle

"You fit the character of Regina George quite nicely"- Sam

: At 11/12/2016 11:49:40 PM, Raisor wrote:
: thett was right
Cermank
Posts: 3,773
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7/3/2015 12:34:13 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 7/3/2015 12:27:48 PM, thett3 wrote:
At 7/3/2015 12:23:19 PM, Cermank wrote:
At 7/3/2015 12:20:07 PM, thett3 wrote:
At 7/3/2015 11:14:47 AM, Cermank wrote:
Dtaylor was finally able to play his Wii U (yeah he plays a Wii U. He's like 12, give him a break). He was playing that really cool built in ghost game with four attractive females who were all chasing his avatar around on the game--it was a metaphor for their attraction to him. He sighed in contentment as he put his arm around one of the girls. Life was finally the way it should be. She gave him a loving smile and, despite the presence of her friends, leaned in for a kiss. Dtaylors heart raced in excitement as he leaned in too.

Its really a shame how prominent members members of DDO are nothing but a product of patriarchy. It doesn't even anger me now, it just makes me sad. It saddens me how people still objectify females, and consider them nothing but a prop in their daytime fantasies.

Umm hello. Airmax can read his mind through the Jew connection and punished him for his objectification. It was a feminist triumph

umm last time i checked airmax was a man. Typical mysogynist author trying to reduce the status of females to that of a damsel in distress. I suppose there were no womyn to deliver that feminist triumph, were there?

Give up

Well yeah. Did you not read the story? The Jews are a group of ultra-conservative activists, of course he would view it as his place to save a womyn. It's satire of the conservative mind wow

Of course. 'satire'. You need to just stop talking about feminism as if its this huge joke. Feminists don't need you, you filthy oppressive shtlord. Stop mansplaining. Go farm a pig or something.

Maybe nobody told you thett3, but you partaking in these micro aggressions against women hurts everyone, both males and females. I can only pray that one day you realize that women are flesh and bones too, not mere tools you oppressor.
thett3
Posts: 14,371
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7/3/2015 12:41:28 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 7/3/2015 12:34:13 PM, Cermank wrote:
At 7/3/2015 12:27:48 PM, thett3 wrote:
At 7/3/2015 12:23:19 PM, Cermank wrote:
At 7/3/2015 12:20:07 PM, thett3 wrote:
At 7/3/2015 11:14:47 AM, Cermank wrote:
Dtaylor was finally able to play his Wii U (yeah he plays a Wii U. He's like 12, give him a break). He was playing that really cool built in ghost game with four attractive females who were all chasing his avatar around on the game--it was a metaphor for their attraction to him. He sighed in contentment as he put his arm around one of the girls. Life was finally the way it should be. She gave him a loving smile and, despite the presence of her friends, leaned in for a kiss. Dtaylors heart raced in excitement as he leaned in too.

Its really a shame how prominent members members of DDO are nothing but a product of patriarchy. It doesn't even anger me now, it just makes me sad. It saddens me how people still objectify females, and consider them nothing but a prop in their daytime fantasies.

Umm hello. Airmax can read his mind through the Jew connection and punished him for his objectification. It was a feminist triumph

umm last time i checked airmax was a man. Typical mysogynist author trying to reduce the status of females to that of a damsel in distress. I suppose there were no womyn to deliver that feminist triumph, were there?

Give up

Well yeah. Did you not read the story? The Jews are a group of ultra-conservative activists, of course he would view it as his place to save a womyn. It's satire of the conservative mind wow

Of course. 'satire'. You need to just stop talking about feminism as if its this huge joke. Feminists don't need you, you filthy oppressive shtlord. Stop mansplaining. Go farm a pig or something.

Stop oppressing my self expression you cishet shitlord

Maybe nobody told you thett3, but you partaking in these micro aggressions against women hurts everyone, both males and females. I can only pray that one day you realize that women are flesh and bones too, not mere tools you oppressor.
DDO Vice President

#StandwithBossy

#UnbanTheMadman

#BetOnThett

"Don't quote me, ever." -Max

"My name is max. I'm not a big fan of slacks"- Max rapping

"Walmart should have the opportunity to bribe a politician to it's agenda" -Max

"Thett, you're really good at convincing people you're a decent person"-tulle

"You fit the character of Regina George quite nicely"- Sam

: At 11/12/2016 11:49:40 PM, Raisor wrote:
: thett was right
Cermank
Posts: 3,773
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7/3/2015 12:46:39 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 7/3/2015 12:41:28 PM, thett3 wrote:
At 7/3/2015 12:34:13 PM, Cermank wrote:
At 7/3/2015 12:27:48 PM, thett3 wrote:
At 7/3/2015 12:23:19 PM, Cermank wrote:
At 7/3/2015 12:20:07 PM, thett3 wrote:
At 7/3/2015 11:14:47 AM, Cermank wrote:
Dtaylor was finally able to play his Wii U (yeah he plays a Wii U. He's like 12, give him a break). He was playing that really cool built in ghost game with four attractive females who were all chasing his avatar around on the game--it was a metaphor for their attraction to him. He sighed in contentment as he put his arm around one of the girls. Life was finally the way it should be. She gave him a loving smile and, despite the presence of her friends, leaned in for a kiss. Dtaylors heart raced in excitement as he leaned in too.

Its really a shame how prominent members members of DDO are nothing but a product of patriarchy. It doesn't even anger me now, it just makes me sad. It saddens me how people still objectify females, and consider them nothing but a prop in their daytime fantasies.

Umm hello. Airmax can read his mind through the Jew connection and punished him for his objectification. It was a feminist triumph

umm last time i checked airmax was a man. Typical mysogynist author trying to reduce the status of females to that of a damsel in distress. I suppose there were no womyn to deliver that feminist triumph, were there?

Give up

Well yeah. Did you not read the story? The Jews are a group of ultra-conservative activists, of course he would view it as his place to save a womyn. It's satire of the conservative mind wow

Of course. 'satire'. You need to just stop talking about feminism as if its this huge joke. Feminists don't need you, you filthy oppressive shtlord. Stop mansplaining. Go farm a pig or something.

Stop oppressing my self expression you cishet shitlord

wow i'm gender fluid. can you stop assuming everyone's cishet?

I cant even talk to you now, you're like drowning in your own privilege. Check it.

Maybe nobody told you thett3, but you partaking in these micro aggressions against women hurts everyone, both males and females. I can only pray that one day you realize that women are flesh and bones too, not mere tools you oppressor.
dtaylor971
Posts: 1,907
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7/3/2015 12:47:28 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
Honey, I play Xbox now and search the deep realms of the internet for porn.

(Not really, actually. I spend most of my time exploring the deep realms of the internet, yes, but, in an attempt to differ from the average 13 year olds, I venture away from porn and try to study the Cambrian Extinction.)
"I don't know why gays want to marry, I have spent the last 25 years wishing I wasn't allowed to." -Sadolite
thett3
Posts: 14,371
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7/3/2015 12:50:16 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 7/3/2015 12:46:39 PM, Cermank wrote:
At 7/3/2015 12:41:28 PM, thett3 wrote:
At 7/3/2015 12:34:13 PM, Cermank wrote:
At 7/3/2015 12:27:48 PM, thett3 wrote:
At 7/3/2015 12:23:19 PM, Cermank wrote:
At 7/3/2015 12:20:07 PM, thett3 wrote:
At 7/3/2015 11:14:47 AM, Cermank wrote:
Dtaylor was finally able to play his Wii U (yeah he plays a Wii U. He's like 12, give him a break). He was playing that really cool built in ghost game with four attractive females who were all chasing his avatar around on the game--it was a metaphor for their attraction to him. He sighed in contentment as he put his arm around one of the girls. Life was finally the way it should be. She gave him a loving smile and, despite the presence of her friends, leaned in for a kiss. Dtaylors heart raced in excitement as he leaned in too.

Its really a shame how prominent members members of DDO are nothing but a product of patriarchy. It doesn't even anger me now, it just makes me sad. It saddens me how people still objectify females, and consider them nothing but a prop in their daytime fantasies.

Umm hello. Airmax can read his mind through the Jew connection and punished him for his objectification. It was a feminist triumph

umm last time i checked airmax was a man. Typical mysogynist author trying to reduce the status of females to that of a damsel in distress. I suppose there were no womyn to deliver that feminist triumph, were there?

Give up

Well yeah. Did you not read the story? The Jews are a group of ultra-conservative activists, of course he would view it as his place to save a womyn. It's satire of the conservative mind wow

Of course. 'satire'. You need to just stop talking about feminism as if its this huge joke. Feminists don't need you, you filthy oppressive shtlord. Stop mansplaining. Go farm a pig or something.

Stop oppressing my self expression you cishet shitlord

wow i'm gender fluid. can you stop assuming everyone's cishet?

I cant even talk to you now, you're like drowning in your own privilege. Check it.

As an aquaphobic, this comment triggers me

Maybe nobody told you thett3, but you partaking in these micro aggressions against women hurts everyone, both males and females. I can only pray that one day you realize that women are flesh and bones too, not mere tools you oppressor.
DDO Vice President

#StandwithBossy

#UnbanTheMadman

#BetOnThett

"Don't quote me, ever." -Max

"My name is max. I'm not a big fan of slacks"- Max rapping

"Walmart should have the opportunity to bribe a politician to it's agenda" -Max

"Thett, you're really good at convincing people you're a decent person"-tulle

"You fit the character of Regina George quite nicely"- Sam

: At 11/12/2016 11:49:40 PM, Raisor wrote:
: thett was right
Cermank
Posts: 3,773
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7/3/2015 12:59:06 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 7/3/2015 12:50:16 PM, thett3 wrote:
At 7/3/2015 12:46:39 PM, Cermank wrote:
At 7/3/2015 12:41:28 PM, thett3 wrote:
At 7/3/2015 12:34:13 PM, Cermank wrote:
At 7/3/2015 12:27:48 PM, thett3 wrote:
At 7/3/2015 12:23:19 PM, Cermank wrote:
At 7/3/2015 12:20:07 PM, thett3 wrote:
At 7/3/2015 11:14:47 AM, Cermank wrote:
Dtaylor was finally able to play his Wii U (yeah he plays a Wii U. He's like 12, give him a break). He was playing that really cool built in ghost game with four attractive females who were all chasing his avatar around on the game--it was a metaphor for their attraction to him. He sighed in contentment as he put his arm around one of the girls. Life was finally the way it should be. She gave him a loving smile and, despite the presence of her friends, leaned in for a kiss. Dtaylors heart raced in excitement as he leaned in too.

Its really a shame how prominent members members of DDO are nothing but a product of patriarchy. It doesn't even anger me now, it just makes me sad. It saddens me how people still objectify females, and consider them nothing but a prop in their daytime fantasies.

Umm hello. Airmax can read his mind through the Jew connection and punished him for his objectification. It was a feminist triumph

umm last time i checked airmax was a man. Typical mysogynist author trying to reduce the status of females to that of a damsel in distress. I suppose there were no womyn to deliver that feminist triumph, were there?

Give up

Well yeah. Did you not read the story? The Jews are a group of ultra-conservative activists, of course he would view it as his place to save a womyn. It's satire of the conservative mind wow

Of course. 'satire'. You need to just stop talking about feminism as if its this huge joke. Feminists don't need you, you filthy oppressive shtlord. Stop mansplaining. Go farm a pig or something.

Stop oppressing my self expression you cishet shitlord

wow i'm gender fluid. can you stop assuming everyone's cishet?

I cant even talk to you now, you're like drowning in your own privilege. Check it.

As an aquaphobic, this comment triggers me

As a hoplophobic, your use of word 'trigger' triggers me

Maybe nobody told you thett3, but you partaking in these micro aggressions against women hurts everyone, both males and females. I can only pray that one day you realize that women are flesh and bones too, not mere tools you oppressor.
thett3
Posts: 14,371
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7/3/2015 1:05:18 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 7/3/2015 12:59:06 PM, Cermank wrote:
At 7/3/2015 12:50:16 PM, thett3 wrote:
At 7/3/2015 12:46:39 PM, Cermank wrote:
At 7/3/2015 12:41:28 PM, thett3 wrote:
At 7/3/2015 12:34:13 PM, Cermank wrote:
At 7/3/2015 12:27:48 PM, thett3 wrote:
At 7/3/2015 12:23:19 PM, Cermank wrote:
At 7/3/2015 12:20:07 PM, thett3 wrote:
At 7/3/2015 11:14:47 AM, Cermank wrote:
Dtaylor was finally able to play his Wii U (yeah he plays a Wii U. He's like 12, give him a break). He was playing that really cool built in ghost game with four attractive females who were all chasing his avatar around on the game--it was a metaphor for their attraction to him. He sighed in contentment as he put his arm around one of the girls. Life was finally the way it should be. She gave him a loving smile and, despite the presence of her friends, leaned in for a kiss. Dtaylors heart raced in excitement as he leaned in too.

Its really a shame how prominent members members of DDO are nothing but a product of patriarchy. It doesn't even anger me now, it just makes me sad. It saddens me how people still objectify females, and consider them nothing but a prop in their daytime fantasies.

Umm hello. Airmax can read his mind through the Jew connection and punished him for his objectification. It was a feminist triumph

umm last time i checked airmax was a man. Typical mysogynist author trying to reduce the status of females to that of a damsel in distress. I suppose there were no womyn to deliver that feminist triumph, were there?

Give up

Well yeah. Did you not read the story? The Jews are a group of ultra-conservative activists, of course he would view it as his place to save a womyn. It's satire of the conservative mind wow

Of course. 'satire'. You need to just stop talking about feminism as if its this huge joke. Feminists don't need you, you filthy oppressive shtlord. Stop mansplaining. Go farm a pig or something.

Stop oppressing my self expression you cishet shitlord

wow i'm gender fluid. can you stop assuming everyone's cishet?

I cant even talk to you now, you're like drowning in your own privilege. Check it.

As an aquaphobic, this comment triggers me

As a hoplophobic, your use of word 'trigger' triggers me

if that were true you would've used another word besides trigger. stop appropriating the suffering of others


Maybe nobody told you thett3, but you partaking in these micro aggressions against women hurts everyone, both males and females. I can only pray that one day you realize that women are flesh and bones too, not mere tools you oppressor.
DDO Vice President

#StandwithBossy

#UnbanTheMadman

#BetOnThett

"Don't quote me, ever." -Max

"My name is max. I'm not a big fan of slacks"- Max rapping

"Walmart should have the opportunity to bribe a politician to it's agenda" -Max

"Thett, you're really good at convincing people you're a decent person"-tulle

"You fit the character of Regina George quite nicely"- Sam

: At 11/12/2016 11:49:40 PM, Raisor wrote:
: thett was right
Cermank
Posts: 3,773
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7/3/2015 1:17:34 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 7/3/2015 1:05:18 PM, thett3 wrote:
At 7/3/2015 12:59:06 PM, Cermank wrote:
At 7/3/2015 12:50:16 PM, thett3 wrote:
At 7/3/2015 12:46:39 PM, Cermank wrote:
At 7/3/2015 12:41:28 PM, thett3 wrote:
At 7/3/2015 12:34:13 PM, Cermank wrote:
At 7/3/2015 12:27:48 PM, thett3 wrote:
At 7/3/2015 12:23:19 PM, Cermank wrote:
At 7/3/2015 12:20:07 PM, thett3 wrote:
At 7/3/2015 11:14:47 AM, Cermank wrote:
Dtaylor was finally able to play his Wii U (yeah he plays a Wii U. He's like 12, give him a break). He was playing that really cool built in ghost game with four attractive females who were all chasing his avatar around on the game--it was a metaphor for their attraction to him. He sighed in contentment as he put his arm around one of the girls. Life was finally the way it should be. She gave him a loving smile and, despite the presence of her friends, leaned in for a kiss. Dtaylors heart raced in excitement as he leaned in too.

Its really a shame how prominent members members of DDO are nothing but a product of patriarchy. It doesn't even anger me now, it just makes me sad. It saddens me how people still objectify females, and consider them nothing but a prop in their daytime fantasies.

Umm hello. Airmax can read his mind through the Jew connection and punished him for his objectification. It was a feminist triumph

umm last time i checked airmax was a man. Typical mysogynist author trying to reduce the status of females to that of a damsel in distress. I suppose there were no womyn to deliver that feminist triumph, were there?

Give up

Well yeah. Did you not read the story? The Jews are a group of ultra-conservative activists, of course he would view it as his place to save a womyn. It's satire of the conservative mind wow

Of course. 'satire'. You need to just stop talking about feminism as if its this huge joke. Feminists don't need you, you filthy oppressive shtlord. Stop mansplaining. Go farm a pig or something.

Stop oppressing my self expression you cishet shitlord

wow i'm gender fluid. can you stop assuming everyone's cishet?

I cant even talk to you now, you're like drowning in your own privilege. Check it.

As an aquaphobic, this comment triggers me

As a hoplophobic, your use of word 'trigger' triggers me

if that were true you would've used another word besides trigger. stop appropriating the suffering of others

no you aggression upon my very being has ignited my self loathing. I'm torturing myself because there are people like you in this world.

just stop okay

Maybe nobody told you thett3, but you partaking in these micro aggressions against women hurts everyone, both males and females. I can only pray that one day you realize that women are flesh and bones too, not mere tools you oppressor.
thett3
Posts: 14,371
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7/12/2015 1:45:10 AM
Posted: 1 year ago
Episode 2

The force of the explosion shook the foundation of the building.

Darth fell to the ground in a heap and was quickly covered in ketchup that had fallen from the shelves. Dtaylor fell over onto the grill itself, searing his back. Even Airmax barely managed to stay standing, his legs wobbling beneath him. Fearing the worst, the crew ran outside to the town square.

It was any respectable restaurateurs worst nightmare: outside of the building a full scale hipster riot was occurring. Everyone was wearing Ray Ban glasses, scarves, and skinny jeans. All of the "men" in the crowd wore fedoras and grew tiny effeminate hipster beards. Despite the crowds no doubt sincere commitment to diversity they were all pasty white and in their early to mid twenties. Only a few people were actually participating in the riot, everyone else was Snapchatting it to their friends.

Dtaylor was suddenly engulfed by smoke, and looked to the North. There stood a massive bonfire fed by from wood, but from confederate flags. To the side lay a pile of stone rubble, the cracked faces of what appeared to be busts of old Southern generals had been demolished. Beside them stood an old brass cannon with a puff of smoke billowing from the barrel, clearly the cause of the explosion. The barrel was covered in some sickly substance and what looked like a bit of an old uniform. With horror Dtaylor watched as the crowd strapped a body to the cannon. Even after a century and a half worth of decay, the manly beard and chiseled features--striking such a contrast to the visages of the hipsters--was instantly recognizable. It was The General.

Dtaylor recoiled in horror. Even for a hardcore liberal millennial slacktivist like himself, this was too far. He stepped forward to stop this madness, but was silenced by a jew message from Airmax.

<Stop. This will be used to our advantage. They're dead and gone, and this can be used for the greater good.>

Airmax stepped forward, and spoke with a booming voice.

"Young hipsters, Burger King welcomes you and your worthy goals. This is why, in conjunction with the release of the pride Whopper, we will also be releasing an anti confederate Whopper. It's the same thing as a regular whopper, except the wrapper will contain the visage of a hypothetical mixed sperm baby belonging to Abraham Lincoln and Martin Luther King Jr., and no one is allowed to put Barbecue sauce on it. Also it will be made of beets, not beef because meat is murder."

The hipsters cheered, tweeted, and instagrammed. Within seconds, Burger King was cool again.

Airmax was given the supreme honor of lighting the cannon. The remains of Robert E Lee were shot into the bonfire, burning with his armies flag.

-------
Zaradi was content. At long last, he had accomplished his goal. He was supreme leader of Burger King. He had avenged his Nazi ancestors and his family had taken control of Burger King once again, with him as Supreme Leader. Since he was not a poetic man, the irony of working with the Jews to do this was completely lost on him.

He was also able through menu changes to spread his love of beets to the next generation. Life was good. He leaned back in the computer chair at his office in the Burger King palace and swiveled around aimlessly. A black, manly leather boot stopped him. Zaradi's eyes followed up a muscled leg before settling on a face covered in a Burger King bag.

"Hello there, Zaradi."

It was The King himself. To his left stood a man recognizable as BossyBurito, former head of marketing and designer of the "Have it OUR way" marketing campaign. To his right was Petersmith, the member of the Public Relations department responsible for opinion polling. Both looked very menacing.

Zaradi tried the tough guy act. "You know, your old buddy Whiteflame is in charge of security here. Maybe I should call him."

"That wouldn't be good...." Bossy started

"For you." Petersmith finished, with a menacing glare.

The King held up his hand to order silence.

"We need something from this building, Zaradi. And you're going to help us get it."

"And why would I do that?"

The King motioned to Petersmith.

"Because we told you to." She said simply. "Oh, and because we know about the self destruct button to your beat farm and I'm holding it in my hand right now." The contents of her palm proved her correct.

Bossy sneered and spoke in a voice dripping with contempt. "You know, I always thought self destruct buttons were a stupid plot device, even for robots. But for a beet farm? Who the hell makes a self destruct button for a beet farm? And stupid enough to leave it laying, LABELED, on your kitchen table in your unlocked house? Moron."

Zaradi gulped and The King spoke again.

"Now Zaradi, you shall be a good boy and give me your keys. Now."

And Zaradi did.

The King removed a stone from the wall and stuck a key into the keyhole that appeared behind it. From the hidden safe he withdrew a small brown package that he stuffed into his robe pocket.

"How did no one know that was there?!" Zaradi exclaimed, incredulous.

The King smirked. "This is my palace. There are things about this place you will never, ever know." and they began to walk away.

As soon as they were a comfortable distance from him, Zaradi sounded the alarm for security. The King then stamped his foot down at precisely the right spot, triggering a catapult that threw him and his crew into what should've been the ceiling, but it had retracted. Somersaulting through the air, they made their escape. The King laughed like a pirate.
-------

Romanii was enjoying a chicken sandwich when the news hit. Before he even knew what was happening, all of the men surrounding him rushed to their trucks and suddenly everyone was holding old pump-action shotguns or large crucifixes.

All the rednecks began chattering among themselves.

"We can't stand for this, or this here will be the end of our country!"

"That's damn right! I aint kowtowing to no yankee no sir I will not."

"First Obama then this..."

Unable to wait any longer, Romanii burst out: "What happened?!"

Conservativepolitico gave him a puzzled look as he shouldered his shotgun. "Wasn't you payin attention to the television? Burger King just released an anti-confederate Whopper, those unaMURican bastards!"

"How exactly is insulting the confederacy un-American?" Romanii asked.

"How could they be that unaMURican? I sure as all hell dunno. But if they don't like it they can getttttt outtttt."

"But wasn't it the South that wanted to get out?"

"That's damn right! Those yankees should get out! Thems traitors, and that's all they'll ever be!"

"But it was the South that committed treason...literally. How is it American to celebrate a symbol of treason?"

His words finally sank in. The gathered rednecks and conservatives were looking at him as if he'd just spat on a Bible, the significance of which is probably lost on you godless heathens.

Romanii was spared having his love of freedom beaten into him by the arrival of a tall, balding man in a finely tailored three piece suit emerging from the back of the building. He carried not a worn out old shotgun, but an AR-15, which made him a god amongst these men. He was somewhat elderly but still gave off a vibe of extreme vigor.

"I can assure you that Chick-Fil-A will not stand for this." He spoke in a clipped New England accent. Normally this would've been a bad thing, but anyone could sense the conservatism of this man. He was reminiscent one of the old school, WASPy Republicans, one who could speak the leftists language and subvert them from within.

"No" he continued "It absolutely will not. Chick-Fil-A stands fully behind any expression of Southern heritage."

Those spectating did not know, but the civil war had begun anew, this time in the hearts, minds and wallets of the fast food eating
DDO Vice President

#StandwithBossy

#UnbanTheMadman

#BetOnThett

"Don't quote me, ever." -Max

"My name is max. I'm not a big fan of slacks"- Max rapping

"Walmart should have the opportunity to bribe a politician to it's agenda" -Max

"Thett, you're really good at convincing people you're a decent person"-tulle

"You fit the character of Regina George quite nicely"- Sam

: At 11/12/2016 11:49:40 PM, Raisor wrote:
: thett was right
thett3
Posts: 14,371
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7/12/2015 1:49:59 AM
Posted: 1 year ago
The last line gets cut off every Goddamn time.

Last line:

The name tag of this man read "Roy Latham".
DDO Vice President

#StandwithBossy

#UnbanTheMadman

#BetOnThett

"Don't quote me, ever." -Max

"My name is max. I'm not a big fan of slacks"- Max rapping

"Walmart should have the opportunity to bribe a politician to it's agenda" -Max

"Thett, you're really good at convincing people you're a decent person"-tulle

"You fit the character of Regina George quite nicely"- Sam

: At 11/12/2016 11:49:40 PM, Raisor wrote:
: thett was right
ShabShoral
Posts: 3,236
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7/12/2015 1:59:51 AM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 7/12/2015 1:49:59 AM, thett3 wrote:
The last line gets cut off every Goddamn time.

Last line:

The name tag of this man read "Roy Latham".

Oh my god, my heart can't take the wait between episodes. This is too good.
"This site is trash as a debate site. It's club penguin for dysfunctional adults."

~ Skepsikyma <3

"Your idea of good writing is like Spinoza mixed with Heidegger."

~ Dylly Dylly Cat Cat

"You seem to aspire to be a cross between a Jewish hipster, an old school WASP aristocrat, and a political iconoclast"

~ Thett the Mighty

"fvck omg ur face"

~ Liz
thett3
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7/13/2015 3:20:41 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 7/12/2015 1:59:51 AM, ShabShoral wrote:
At 7/12/2015 1:49:59 AM, thett3 wrote:
The last line gets cut off every Goddamn time.

Last line:

The name tag of this man read "Roy Latham".

Oh my god, my heart can't take the wait between episodes. This is too good.

thanks...I tried to make both sides of the confederate flag "debate" look as stupid and asinine as possible
DDO Vice President

#StandwithBossy

#UnbanTheMadman

#BetOnThett

"Don't quote me, ever." -Max

"My name is max. I'm not a big fan of slacks"- Max rapping

"Walmart should have the opportunity to bribe a politician to it's agenda" -Max

"Thett, you're really good at convincing people you're a decent person"-tulle

"You fit the character of Regina George quite nicely"- Sam

: At 11/12/2016 11:49:40 PM, Raisor wrote:
: thett was right
thett3
Posts: 14,371
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8/12/2015 2:14:45 AM
Posted: 1 year ago
loyal followers: this enterprise has not been forgotten. Like MacArthur to the Philippines, like The King to Burger King, it will return
DDO Vice President

#StandwithBossy

#UnbanTheMadman

#BetOnThett

"Don't quote me, ever." -Max

"My name is max. I'm not a big fan of slacks"- Max rapping

"Walmart should have the opportunity to bribe a politician to it's agenda" -Max

"Thett, you're really good at convincing people you're a decent person"-tulle

"You fit the character of Regina George quite nicely"- Sam

: At 11/12/2016 11:49:40 PM, Raisor wrote:
: thett was right
ShabShoral
Posts: 3,236
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8/12/2015 2:59:22 AM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 8/12/2015 2:14:45 AM, thett3 wrote:
loyal followers: this enterprise has not been forgotten. Like MacArthur to the Philippines, like The King to Burger King, it will return

DDO Burger King is the reason I get out of bed in the morning.
"This site is trash as a debate site. It's club penguin for dysfunctional adults."

~ Skepsikyma <3

"Your idea of good writing is like Spinoza mixed with Heidegger."

~ Dylly Dylly Cat Cat

"You seem to aspire to be a cross between a Jewish hipster, an old school WASP aristocrat, and a political iconoclast"

~ Thett the Mighty

"fvck omg ur face"

~ Liz
thett3
Posts: 14,371
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11/27/2015 3:30:40 AM
Posted: 1 year ago
this is perfect...almost inspired to write again
DDO Vice President

#StandwithBossy

#UnbanTheMadman

#BetOnThett

"Don't quote me, ever." -Max

"My name is max. I'm not a big fan of slacks"- Max rapping

"Walmart should have the opportunity to bribe a politician to it's agenda" -Max

"Thett, you're really good at convincing people you're a decent person"-tulle

"You fit the character of Regina George quite nicely"- Sam

: At 11/12/2016 11:49:40 PM, Raisor wrote:
: thett was right