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Advice for being afraid to speak mind irl

NothingSpecial99
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4/22/2016 4:11:54 PM
Posted: 7 months ago
Whenever with a group of my peers discuss controversial issues, I feel in my mind I have some intelligent arguments/comments to add to the discussion in real life. However, I can't seem to get over being afraid to speak my mind as often my comments aren't "politically correct" and I'm afraid of being judged. So I usually end up remaining silent. Any advice as to how I can overcome this fear?
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Dragon_of_Christ
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4/22/2016 4:19:50 PM
Posted: 7 months ago
At 4/22/2016 4:11:54 PM, NothingSpecial99 wrote:
Whenever with a group of my peers discuss controversial issues, I feel in my mind I have some intelligent arguments/comments to add to the discussion in real life. However, I can't seem to get over being afraid to speak my mind as often my comments aren't "politically correct" and I'm afraid of being judged. So I usually end up remaining silent. Any advice as to how I can overcome this fear?

Political correctness is treacherous. It is a force magnetizing us to the majority. We need more outliers.
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PetersSmith
Posts: 5,811
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4/22/2016 4:22:04 PM
Posted: 7 months ago
At 4/22/2016 4:11:54 PM, NothingSpecial99 wrote:
Whenever with a group of my peers discuss controversial issues, I feel in my mind I have some intelligent arguments/comments to add to the discussion in real life. However, I can't seem to get over being afraid to speak my mind as often my comments aren't "politically correct" and I'm afraid of being judged. So I usually end up remaining silent. Any advice as to how I can overcome this fear?

You have the right to political speech. If you want to add your opinion then do it. They will probably disagree with you, but if they're reasonable enough they might consider your opinion. You should start out small and then build it up to full group conversations with more controversial views.
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TBR
Posts: 9,991
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4/22/2016 5:02:51 PM
Posted: 7 months ago
At 4/22/2016 4:11:54 PM, NothingSpecial99 wrote:
Whenever with a group of my peers discuss controversial issues, I feel in my mind I have some intelligent arguments/comments to add to the discussion in real life. However, I can't seem to get over being afraid to speak my mind as often my comments aren't "politically correct" and I'm afraid of being judged. So I usually end up remaining silent. Any advice as to how I can overcome this fear?

Little by little, build confidence.

What do you think you believe that is "not politically correct"?
Vaarka
Posts: 7,527
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4/22/2016 5:06:15 PM
Posted: 7 months ago
At 4/22/2016 4:11:54 PM, NothingSpecial99 wrote:
Whenever with a group of my peers discuss controversial issues, I feel in my mind I have some intelligent arguments/comments to add to the discussion in real life. However, I can't seem to get over being afraid to speak my mind as often my comments aren't "politically correct" and I'm afraid of being judged. So I usually end up remaining silent. Any advice as to how I can overcome this fear?

I can speak my mind irl, but people usually don't hear me anyway, so sharing my opinion on a matter often ends up being pointless ;_;
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RyuuKyuzo
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4/23/2016 12:29:43 AM
Posted: 7 months ago
How politically incorrect are we talking on a scale from "why is 'person-of-colour' okay but 'coloured-person' isn't?" to "Hey Cletus, you got them 2x4s fer the cross-burnin' tonight?"
No point in ostracizing yourself to build confidence, there are better ways.

Aside from that, the classic "fake it till you make it" strategy is tried and true.
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Opsianos
Posts: 1,155
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4/23/2016 12:39:21 AM
Posted: 7 months ago
At 4/22/2016 4:11:54 PM, NothingSpecial99 wrote:
Whenever with a group of my peers discuss controversial issues, I feel in my mind I have some intelligent arguments/comments to add to the discussion in real life. However, I can't seem to get over being afraid to speak my mind as often my comments aren't "politically correct" and I'm afraid of being judged. So I usually end up remaining silent. Any advice as to how I can overcome this fear?

This may be controversial, but I don't see the problem with giving controversial opinions on controversial issues.

In seriousness, though, I was nervous about speaking my mind until I realized how little others actually care about what you think; thoughts don't nearly define you as a person as actions do. That's not good, either, since then they don't consider your opinions at all. Even if it's unpopular, at least your thoughts will be interesting, whether positively or negatively. In other words, it's better to be judged negatively than not at all--at least they'll listen to you instead of ignoring you.
Have no regrets.
EvanescentEfflorescence
Posts: 303
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4/23/2016 1:08:29 AM
Posted: 7 months ago
At 4/22/2016 4:11:54 PM, NothingSpecial99 wrote:
Whenever with a group of my peers discuss controversial issues, I feel in my mind I have some intelligent arguments/comments to add to the discussion in real life. However, I can't seem to get over being afraid to speak my mind as often my comments aren't "politically correct" and I'm afraid of being judged. So I usually end up remaining silent. Any advice as to how I can overcome this fear?

You are right in being afraid of being judged -- I recommend continuing what you are doing. People will treat you worse if you espouse ideas they disagree with. They will come to despise you if you manage to convince them that you are correct; the humiliation of being proven wrong stings, and people usually revert to their old opinions thereafter in any case. Most people don't realise that arguments almost never convince people and cause a lot of emotional destruction. Most people blurt out whatever enters their mind (as you put it, "speak my mind").

Also, feeling the need to "speak your mind" is essentially feeling the need to be validated. Realise that you don't need to be, especially by these people. Most people think that watching soap operas, checking Facebook every 5 minutes, and keeping their eyes glued to their Smartphones are good uses of their time. In light of this, are their opinions really worth all that much?

Don't be these people. Hold your tongue unless you know that the audience is correct. Otherwise, you'll arouse resentment within others, even if you are right. Remember also that you have nothing to prove to these people, that the feeling to prove yourself is all in your head. Always say less than necessary.
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ColeTrain
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4/23/2016 1:18:28 AM
Posted: 7 months ago
At 4/22/2016 4:11:54 PM, NothingSpecial99 wrote:
Whenever with a group of my peers discuss controversial issues, I feel in my mind I have some intelligent arguments/comments to add to the discussion in real life. However, I can't seem to get over being afraid to speak my mind as often my comments aren't "politically correct" and I'm afraid of being judged. So I usually end up remaining silent. Any advice as to how I can overcome this fear?

I think the necessary preemptive response to this is noting controversial issues *are* controversial for a reason. If there were not two drastic sides of reasoning, they would not be considered controversial. That, in its own right, is enough to merit you voicing your opinion, whatever it may be.

Still, that might not remedy the inbred fear you have of being judged. I would suggest to start small, and little by little gain confidence. Besides, if you present your arguments coherently and civilly, even if they disagree, they'll respect your position from a strictly knowledgeability standpoint.

As an addendum, I'm personally not one afraid of political correctness. I highly doubt any of your views are politically incorrect enough to cause major issues (i.e. not excessively racist or hateful), for one, and for two, I believe political correctness is a hoax when it prohibits people from "telling it like it is." <-- This final paragraph is only opinion, take what you may. ;)
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walk61
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4/23/2016 8:58:47 AM
Posted: 7 months ago
At 4/22/2016 4:11:54 PM, NothingSpecial99 wrote:
Whenever with a group of my peers discuss controversial issues, I feel in my mind I have some intelligent arguments/comments to add to the discussion in real life. However, I can't seem to get over being afraid to speak my mind as often my comments aren't "politically correct" and I'm afraid of being judged. So I usually end up remaining silent. Any advice as to how I can overcome this fear?

Try using the perspective that when your discussing don't become attached to what you say. If someone says your wrong, don't take this personally. Discussion should be a movement towards truth not egoic demands to dominate others by personally attacking. So offer an opinion in a casual, detached way and when someone counters then try and understand why they say this and keep calm then maybe offer another opinion.

If your having problems with being shy, nervous I would recommend exploring meditation and mindfulness. It helps you not become so dictated by feelings, so maybe that's nervousness, you can then act out of a calm, focused mind.