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DDO Tea Time: Tabloid Edition Vol. IV

Blade-of-Truth
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6/6/2016 3:15:14 AM
Posted: 6 months ago
Ladies & Gentlemen,

The team here at DDO Tea Time have been in the battlefields all day. Amid the craziness that is DDO right now, we are here to report the most important of current events! Without further ado, I present DDO Tea Time: Tabloid Edition!!!! (Vol. IV)

Have we finally found the real multi-account of Airmax1227?!!

For many years now we here on DDO have been living under the rule of our benevolent dictator, Airmax1227. In that time we've seen several accusations levied against our mighty Mod pertaining to various members who, suspiciously, give off Airmax vibes. Be it Bladerunner, Innomen, or Obama himself, they have all been suspected of being Airmax multi-accounts. Luckily, here at DDO Tea Time we have bribed the right DDO Elite members and have stumbled upon a gross truth, the real Airmax1227 multi - - - look no further than HERE: http://www.debate.org...

As we can see, not only is Airmax admitting that he's an amalgamation of AI personalities, but more so that he's not even the most recent version! After digging a little further, we stumbled upon this: http://www.debate.org... what is truly telling though is that the location and age of the user *exactly matches* the age and location of Airmax1227.

So, not only is Airmax1228 a confirmed Airmax multi, as admitted by our benevolent dictator himself, but more so, we can see that this *updated* version is now inactive. So why did Juggle pull the plug on the newest version? Are we stuck with outdated tech? Perhaps someday the truth will come to light, but for now folks - take solace in knowing that we've now identified one of his confirmed multies.

A new enemy of the DDO Elite has surfaced, and declared war!

In recent weeks we've seen a rapid rise of prominence in several newer members that seemingly came out of nowhere. Are these new members part of a larger group, and what is their true intent? With our ears to the ground and eyes on the prize we had our undercover reporter [Classified] give us the scoop.

DDO Tea Time: Hello [Classified], so what news can you tell us about this new group?

Informant: Unfortunately, not much. I was able to identify some of the members of this group, but don't know just how many there actually are.

DDO Tea Time: Well good grief man, we don't pay you to be vague, give us the details!

Informant: Yeah... sorry. Of the members I have identified so far, the group consists of - Dragon_of_Christ, brontoraptor, Axonly, angryseagull1, and MasonicSlayer, among others...

DDO Tea Time: My God... wait, what do you mean by "among others"?

Informant: Well, I've identified the leader as well and he's stated that the group he's building consists of more than 15 members, and that they are going to directly challenge the DDO Elite very soon.

DDO Tea Time: This is disturbing news indeed, especially considering that we have a very good relationship with various DDO Elite members. So who is the leader?

Informant: Well, that's the thing, it's none other than Vi_Spex. His reasoning for it all is quite simple. He said that his debates = truth, followed by him stating that truth =/= loss and because of this he feels that the DDO Elite = Blind = Unable to SEE truth. He closed by saying Blind = bad leaders = time to OVERTHROW. That is to say, because he loses often, he feels the DDO Elite are too blind to see the truth he's arguing and thus should be overthrown.

DDO Tea Time: Wow, just wow. So he's declaring war on the DDO Elite?!

Informant: It appears so, and his forces are growing as well. It's all quite troubling and I have to get back to their base now to keep my cover going, but I'll be sure to keep you updated as this develops.

DDO Tea Time: Okay. Thank you [Classified], and godspeed.

Thett, the rightful VP of DDO, officially ascends to the throne!!

In a mind-shattering announcement just a few hours ago, Thett's Grand Vizier, Skepsikyma, has officially declared that Thett is the new DDO Vice President acting as President. This was done in the absence of our recent president, Bsh1, and the further absence of *his chosen* VP, Coletrain. As with all new Presidents, Thett has put together an all-star team to support his efforts over the next few weeks and months. This team includes: Shab_Shoral acting as Supreme Justiciar, Seventhprofessor serving as Supreme Ambassador to Juggle, Romanii serving as Supreme Commandant. and finally Skepsikyma himself as the Grand Vizier.

We spoke with the last VP, Zaradi, who is still down in Peru raising abused llamas back to health on his family farm. He was quick to support his fellow VP, Thett, and offered to give him some wise words of advice: "Get out while you can."

They have promised a great new era, and we here at DDO Tea Time support them fully in their new efforts. May God grant you gentleman the serenity to accept the things you cannot change, the courage to change the things you can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

Did political commentator Glenn Beck attack our fellow member Rosalie?

As many of you have seen, Rosalie was recently viciously assaulted by ice cream bars and mean words at a Trump rally in California. The story was first reported by our sister affiliate organization Breitbart news and included the following footage of the horrendous attack:
http://media.breitbart.com...
http://media.breitbart.com...

The only question remains - who threw the ice-cream bar? While many speculated it was her stalker, rosaliesecretadmiror, new details are emerging that it was none other than Glenn Beck. Soon after the ice cream bar hit Rosalie Glenn Beck was cornered by a local tv station and was asked why he did it, but of course, he denied all allegations: https://i.ytimg.com...

It wasn't until later that evening when we received an unprecedented Facetime call with Glenn Beck himself, hoping to clear his name. After some hammering though, he finally admitted he did it, and broke down into tears:
http://vignette3.wikia.nocookie.net...
http://indiedesign.typepad.com...

He has since apologized, but still... we here at DDO Tea Time are sorry to see him stoop to such low levels now that Cruz is out.

Is Imabench really going to abolish the Presidency?

In a startling revelation that has since been deleted, the front-runner of the abolitionist movement, Imabench, controversially stated that he would, "... not actually end the Presidency, but rather keep it going as acting President in the biggest troll effort I've ever done thus far." "I mean, how funny would it be to run as an abolitionist and then not actually abolish it at all, and it's not like people would really get mad, after all - I'm Imabench." Although the thread was deleted quickly, this didn't stop our team here at DDO Tea Time from seeing some of the fallout that took place.

Unfortunately, the details are too gruesome to actually share. All we can say is that it involved countless Frozen references and some nude pictures of park benches. So what do our readers think - Would you be mad if this was all a massive troll effort by Imabench?

************************************************************************

Well, that's all we have time for here at DDO Tea Time this week. Please feel free to look at our previous volumes below:

Vol. I - http://www.debate.org...

Vol. II - http://www.debate.org...

Vol. III - http://www.debate.org...

... and stay tuned for our upcoming special 'Election 2016' edition!!
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imabench
Posts: 21,206
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6/6/2016 3:53:34 AM
Posted: 6 months ago
At 6/6/2016 3:15:14 AM, Blade-of-Truth wrote:

Is Imabench really going to abolish the Presidency?

In a startling revelation that has since been deleted, the front-runner of the abolitionist movement, Imabench, controversially stated that he would, "... not actually end the Presidency, but rather keep it going as acting President in the biggest troll effort I've ever done thus far." "I mean, how funny would it be to run as an abolitionist and then not actually abolish it at all, and it's not like people would really get mad, after all - I'm Imabench."

The crazy thing is that it DOES sound like something I could say XD
Kevin24018 : "He's just so mean it makes me want to ball up my fists and stamp on the ground"

7/14/16 = The Presidency Dies

DDO: THE MOVIE = http://www.debate.org...
http://www.debate.org...

VP of DDO from Dec 14th 2014 to Jan 1st 2015
Blade-of-Truth
Posts: 5,020
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6/6/2016 6:17:47 PM
Posted: 5 months ago
At 6/6/2016 3:53:34 AM, imabench wrote:
At 6/6/2016 3:15:14 AM, Blade-of-Truth wrote:

Is Imabench really going to abolish the Presidency?

In a startling revelation that has since been deleted, the front-runner of the abolitionist movement, Imabench, controversially stated that he would, "... not actually end the Presidency, but rather keep it going as acting President in the biggest troll effort I've ever done thus far." "I mean, how funny would it be to run as an abolitionist and then not actually abolish it at all, and it's not like people would really get mad, after all - I'm Imabench."

The crazy thing is that it DOES sound like something I could say XD

We here at DDO Tea Time strive to maintain the strictest standards when it comes to accurate and reliable reporting.
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Diqiucun_Cunmin
Posts: 2,710
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6/6/2016 6:44:25 PM
Posted: 5 months ago
LMAO

BTW, who's angryseagull?
The thing is, I hate relativism. I hate relativism more than I hate everything else, excepting, maybe, fibreglass powerboats... What it overlooks, to put it briefly and crudely, is the fixed structure of human nature. - Jerry Fodor

Don't be a stat cynic:
http://www.debate.org...

Response to conservative views on deforestation:
http://www.debate.org...

Topics I'd like to debate (not debating ATM): http://tinyurl.com...
Rosalie
Posts: 4,605
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6/6/2016 7:18:55 PM
Posted: 5 months ago
I would like to thank BoT for announcing that Glenn Beck did in fact throw the ice cream at me. He called me on Saturday, to apologize, and then made it up to me, by taking me to Starbucks. We are great friends now. I have forgiven him for throwing ice cream at my face. :)
" We need more videos of cat's playing the piano on the internet" - My art professor.

"Criticism is easier to take when you realize that the only people who aren't criticized are those who don't take risks." - Donald Trump

Officially Mrs. 16Kadams 8-30-16
Blade-of-Truth
Posts: 5,020
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6/6/2016 8:09:45 PM
Posted: 5 months ago
At 6/6/2016 7:18:55 PM, Rosalie wrote:
I would like to thank BoT for announcing that Glenn Beck did in fact throw the ice cream at me. He called me on Saturday, to apologize, and then made it up to me, by taking me to Starbucks. We are great friends now. I have forgiven him for throwing ice cream at my face. :)

This is good news. I'm happy to hear that he's come around and made things right!
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Skepsikyma
Posts: 8,280
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6/7/2016 12:53:15 AM
Posted: 5 months ago
At 6/6/2016 3:15:14 AM, Blade-of-Truth wrote:
Thett, the rightful VP of DDO, officially ascends to the throne!!

In a mind-shattering announcement just a few hours ago, Thett's Grand Vizier, Skepsikyma, has officially declared that Thett is the new DDO Vice President acting as President. This was done in the absence of our recent president, Bsh1, and the further absence of *his chosen* VP, Coletrain. As with all new Presidents, Thett has put together an all-star team to support his efforts over the next few weeks and months. This team includes: Shab_Shoral acting as Supreme Justiciar, Seventhprofessor serving as Supreme Ambassador to Juggle, Romanii serving as Supreme Commandant. and finally Skepsikyma himself as the Grand Vizier.

We spoke with the last VP, Zaradi, who is still down in Peru raising abused llamas back to health on his family farm. He was quick to support his fellow VP, Thett, and offered to give him some wise words of advice: "Get out while you can."

They have promised a great new era, and we here at DDO Tea Time support them fully in their new efforts. May God grant you gentleman the serenity to accept the things you cannot change, the courage to change the things you can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

The Supreme Vice-President would like to thank you for your support, and your stalwart dedication to lawful order.
"The Collectivist experiment is thoroughly suited (in appearance at least) to the Capitalist society which it proposes to replace. It works with the existing machinery of Capitalism, talks and thinks in the existing terms of Capitalism, appeals to just those appetites which Capitalism has aroused, and ridicules as fantastic and unheard-of just those things in society the memory of which Capitalism has killed among men wherever the blight of it has spread."
- Hilaire Belloc -
Blade-of-Truth
Posts: 5,020
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6/7/2016 6:07:47 PM
Posted: 5 months ago
At 6/7/2016 12:53:15 AM, Skepsikyma wrote:
At 6/6/2016 3:15:14 AM, Blade-of-Truth wrote:
Thett, the rightful VP of DDO, officially ascends to the throne!!

In a mind-shattering announcement just a few hours ago, Thett's Grand Vizier, Skepsikyma, has officially declared that Thett is the new DDO Vice President acting as President. This was done in the absence of our recent president, Bsh1, and the further absence of *his chosen* VP, Coletrain. As with all new Presidents, Thett has put together an all-star team to support his efforts over the next few weeks and months. This team includes: Shab_Shoral acting as Supreme Justiciar, Seventhprofessor serving as Supreme Ambassador to Juggle, Romanii serving as Supreme Commandant. and finally Skepsikyma himself as the Grand Vizier.

We spoke with the last VP, Zaradi, who is still down in Peru raising abused llamas back to health on his family farm. He was quick to support his fellow VP, Thett, and offered to give him some wise words of advice: "Get out while you can."

They have promised a great new era, and we here at DDO Tea Time support them fully in their new efforts. May God grant you gentleman the serenity to accept the things you cannot change, the courage to change the things you can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

The Supreme Vice-President would like to thank you for your support, and your stalwart dedication to lawful order.

We here at DDO Tea Time graciously accept your thanks and wish you fine gentlemen the best of luck in your new endeavors.
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imabench
Posts: 21,206
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6/7/2016 10:01:27 PM
Posted: 5 months ago
Which candidate does DDO Tea Time currently endorse for the presidency? As the most high-profile newspaper on the site, its endorsement is very sought after by those who know of its existence
Kevin24018 : "He's just so mean it makes me want to ball up my fists and stamp on the ground"

7/14/16 = The Presidency Dies

DDO: THE MOVIE = http://www.debate.org...
http://www.debate.org...

VP of DDO from Dec 14th 2014 to Jan 1st 2015
Rosalie
Posts: 4,605
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6/7/2016 10:05:55 PM
Posted: 5 months ago
At 6/7/2016 10:01:27 PM, imabench wrote:
Which candidate does DDO Tea Time currently endorse for the presidency? As the most high-profile newspaper on the site, its endorsement is very sought after by those who know of its existence

Trump, of course.
" We need more videos of cat's playing the piano on the internet" - My art professor.

"Criticism is easier to take when you realize that the only people who aren't criticized are those who don't take risks." - Donald Trump

Officially Mrs. 16Kadams 8-30-16
Blade-of-Truth
Posts: 5,020
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6/8/2016 12:19:24 AM
Posted: 5 months ago
At 6/7/2016 10:01:27 PM, imabench wrote:
Which candidate does DDO Tea Time currently endorse for the presidency? As the most high-profile newspaper on the site, its endorsement is very sought after by those who know of its existence

Unfortunately, we do not openly endorse any candidates as it might create an unpleasant work environment should our endorsed candidate not actually win.

We will, however, pledge our absolute allegiance to whomever ascends to the role of President.
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imabench
Posts: 21,206
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6/8/2016 3:42:57 AM
Posted: 5 months ago
At 6/8/2016 12:19:24 AM, Blade-of-Truth wrote:
At 6/7/2016 10:01:27 PM, imabench wrote:
Which candidate does DDO Tea Time currently endorse for the presidency? As the most high-profile newspaper on the site, its endorsement is very sought after by those who know of its existence

Unfortunately, we do not openly endorse any candidates as it might create an unpleasant work environment should our endorsed candidate not actually win.

We will, however, pledge our absolute allegiance to whomever ascends to the role of President.

Smart strategy
Kevin24018 : "He's just so mean it makes me want to ball up my fists and stamp on the ground"

7/14/16 = The Presidency Dies

DDO: THE MOVIE = http://www.debate.org...
http://www.debate.org...

VP of DDO from Dec 14th 2014 to Jan 1st 2015