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FAN FIC: DDO Secret Service

Hayd
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8/18/2016 2:46:07 AM
Posted: 3 months ago
"Intellectuals." he sneers in the same voice that Hitler would use to refer to the "Jews," or greasy disgusting rats that infest and spread their disease, dirt, vermon and disgustingness to everything they touch. He has impressively cultivated the same tone for many of the adjectives that he uses to smear the "moderators" after his shift is done and he chows down on his lunch in the break room. One can easily imagine him practicing in front of mirror to pronunciate "Airmax" and "Whiteflame" and "moderator" and "Jews" in order to conjure in one's mind the most disgusting and lowest form of life imaginable, oozing out sludge from every pore, and stuff like that.

Most of the other agents of the Secret Service put on a facade of avid agreement when listening to Imabench in the break room, whilst he eats his 40 gram protein bars, assorted nuts, protein cheerios, protein shakes, and (pure) creatine powder.

Imabench enjoyed this newly acquired attention, and takes every opportunity to remind everyone why. He is the new top dog, the alpha male. The change happened three weeks ago due to YYW being expelled from the service because of failure to protect the moderator he was in charge of that day: whiteflame. Whiteflame had been strolling through his day to day activities of reviewing votes on debates when a furious member who had lost his voting privileges decided to enact revenge.

While whiteflame walked back to his car after reviewing that day's reported votes, the enraged member crouched on a rooftop overlooking the parking lot with a sniper, the scope trained on the door to the office building. As the door opened the first bodyguard, Tejretics, walked out with Whiteflame following closely behind, and YYW on his heels. Bsh1 walked in-step with Whiteflame, walking closest to the sniper-inhabited rooftop.

The first bullet downed the bodyguard in front instantly, but there was no hesitation or pause instep for the body-guards. They had been trained specifically for this. Bsh1 instantly grabbed Whiteflame's meager, intellectual, jewish body in his arms and turned back towards the door of the office building, Whiteflame desperately clasping the yamaka on his head. YYW turned, took one good look at whiteflame and bsh1's frantic faces, and then slammed the door on them. Luckily, this happened at the exact moment that the sniper was going to get a perfect head shot on whiteflame and thus caused him to shoot 2 inches too high due to breaking into hysterical laughter. The bullet grazed Whiteflame's head, putting a bullethole in his yamaka.

Imabench then became the alpha male of the Secret Service, and has been savoring every moment. The only drawback is that Imabench now has to do a shift covering Airmax, which isn't nearly as cool as covering Blade-of-truth. Nobody has ever attacked BoT, as nobody ever had any reason to, and thus covering BoT mainly consisted of sipping beer while playing pool at bars where BoT consistently got two girls for each of his guards, and three for himself. He literally is the most interesting man in the world, except not old.

Airmax on the other hand wasn't nearly as interesting, when he did have personal discussions with his guards, he found it difficult to discuss anything besides video games. Given that most of the guards weren't skinny zit-faced geeks like Airmax was, the conversations didn't go well. The few times that there was a discussion outside of nerdy stuff, Max didn't take a side on anything, just being apathetic and repeating the same idea 20 different times whilst not letting anyone else get a word in to tell him that he had presented the same fvcking thought 20 different times over the course of one long as hell hour.

Imabench hated his guts, his jewishness, his intellectualism, his lack of muscles, his non-alpha maleness. He was superior to this measly Jew, but he was the moderator, and he had taken an oath to protect him, and there was no greater social respect that serving one's site that way.

"Have you heard about the recent death threats? They have to do with some crazy religious cult." lannan13 asked. He was assembling and disassembling his firearm on the break room counter.

"Ah, the Born_of_God cult. Yes, I know well of them." Imabench responded stressing the fact that he had already known what it was and thus knowledgable thus proving his alpha maleness.

"For some reason I feel that these guys are different from the others, I think we ought to take them seriously." Lannan13 said, very obviously using the literary device of foreshadowing for a later event in the story.

"You're such a wimp Lannan, you're really lame. You're a scaredy cat. I'm not scared of anything, the BoG cult is no big deal." imabench said, obviously foreshadowing that his arrogance will get him in trouble. He then rose from the table and walked with large gate and puffed chest back to work.

The day at work was busy for Airmax and he had to work late into the night. Airmax was at his desk deleting posts whilst Imabench watched motivational videos on his phone as his electric shock belt went to work on his abs. All was calm until there was a loud crash from somewhere outside of the building.

"What was that?" airmax asked, looking up from his computer screen.

"I don't know. I'll go investigate." Imabench replied.

"I'll come with you." Airmax replied.

"Ok, I'll leave my gun behind." Imabench replies as he unclips his pistol and sets in on the desk next to the computer.

"Are you going to call for backup?"

"No."

"Ok."

As they exited the building they heard another clatter, coming from a large open space with no cover surrounded completely surrounded by shadows, of which many people could hide behind unseen.

"The sound came from over there, let's go over there." Imabench said.

"Ok." Airmax replied.

When they reached the middle of the open space there was a signal, "Cackaw! Cackaw!"

At the signal many people rose out from behind the shadows where they had hidden unseen. All of which held knives, clubs, and various other harming tools. Then, one man strode forth. He was old, and he told them his story. It sounded very much like this,

"I've known our Creator since December 7th, 1979 when He spoke into my mind these words, "I AM YOUR CREATOR". From that point on, every time He came into my mind to give me a command to obey, I knew it was the same Creator who spoke into my mind. I'm won't go into detail about the long period of time He spent getting me ready to testify to His knowledge that I've been sharing in this forum as His last saint because it's obviously no evidence that He exists. To look at me as a 60 year old man of Norwegian blood who has spent his life as a farmer, musician and construction worker, you would be totally deceived that I am God's last saint.

However, the knowledge I possess that contains the past, present and future and how we were created, is all the evidence that I need to understand ther--"

Bornofgod and all of his followers then went into full kamikaze mode and stormed the moderator and his bodyguard, with dynamite strapped to all of their chests yelling crazy cult stuff.

At that moment, when all hope was lost the user known as Hayd landed right in front of Ima and Max. He was barefoot and had long blonde hair and looked like one of those *cool* hippie people. He turned his head and gave them the wink-hair swish and was off doing kung fu moves on the kamikaze people. Grabbing one guy and flinging him around in a circle, knocking out row after row of crazy people. He then flung the guy through the crowd, taking five crazy people with him.

The scene looked like that one scene from the second matrix movie where there's Neo and the agent meet in that park and there's like a thousand clones of the agent but Neo still beats the sh!t out of them. That's what it looked like here.

CONTINUED
ColeTrain
Posts: 4,315
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8/18/2016 2:47:03 AM
Posted: 3 months ago
At 8/18/2016 2:46:07 AM, Hayd wrote:

tl;dr

jk, I'll read it later :P
"The right to 360 noscope noobs shall not be infringed!!!" -- tajshar2k
"So, to start off, I've never committed suicide." -- Vaarka
"I eat glue." -- brontoraptor
"I mean, at this rate, I'd argue for a ham sandwich presidency." -- ResponsiblyIrresponsible
"Overthrow Assad, heil jihad." -- 16kadams when trolling in hangout
"Hillary Clinton is not my favorite person ... and her campaign is as inspiring as a bowl of cottage cheese." -- YYW
Hayd
Posts: 4,022
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8/18/2016 2:47:25 AM
Posted: 3 months ago
He then went full Legolas and was doing flips off of people and quick scoping them with a sniper. This continued for a little bit until he had killed every one of the crazies.

Bornofgod lied on the ground, with a blood stain spreading across his shirt, murmuring a prayer to his creator.

"God has chosen this as the day that me as a saint must die."

He reached for the detonator button for his dynamite, but Hayd was so smart that he predicted that he would do that. Grabbing Imabench and Airmax in his arms and shooting a grapple hook gun into the office building's rooftop and pulling away as the dynamite exploded. Airmax noticed how defined Hayd's biceps were, and how good he smelled as he snuggled his head against his shoulder, the plume of fire kissing their calves.

As they landed on the rooftop, Hayd gently released the two startled members.

"Thank you so much for saving us." Airmax said shyly like a 3rd grade schoolgirl talking to her crush.

"Oh, no big deal. Don't worry about it."

"How would you like to be a part of the Secret Service so that you can protect me in the future?" Airmax ventured.

"Dude, that's lit, I'm in!" Hayd exclaimed.

And from that point on Hayd became the alpha male of the Secret Service. But the other agents didn't have to put on a facade to mask their displeasure at being around the alpha male anymore. They genuinely liked Hayd, they actually loved him. Especially the women, the women loved him so much. They couldn't not be around him.

The end
Hayd
Posts: 4,022
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8/18/2016 2:52:21 AM
Posted: 3 months ago
At 8/18/2016 2:47:03 AM, ColeTrain wrote:
At 8/18/2016 2:46:07 AM, Hayd wrote:

tl;dr

jk, I'll read it later :P

omg you messed up my posts, why!!!!!!!!

*breaks down into tears*
bsh1
Posts: 27,504
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8/18/2016 3:00:47 AM
Posted: 3 months ago
At 8/18/2016 2:53:10 AM, Hayd wrote:
9325 characters

Is this for the competition?
Live Long and Prosper

I'm a Bish.


"Twilight isn't just about obtuse metaphors between cannibalism and premarital sex, it also teaches us the futility of hope." - Raisor

"[Bsh1] is the Guinan of DDO." - ButterCatX

Follow the DDOlympics
: http://www.debate.org...

Open Debate Topics Project: http://www.debate.org...
bsh1
Posts: 27,504
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8/18/2016 3:14:31 AM
Posted: 3 months ago
At 8/18/2016 3:01:41 AM, Hayd wrote:
At 8/18/2016 3:00:47 AM, bsh1 wrote:
At 8/18/2016 2:53:10 AM, Hayd wrote:
9325 characters

Is this for the competition?

Ja

Cool beans.
Live Long and Prosper

I'm a Bish.


"Twilight isn't just about obtuse metaphors between cannibalism and premarital sex, it also teaches us the futility of hope." - Raisor

"[Bsh1] is the Guinan of DDO." - ButterCatX

Follow the DDOlympics
: http://www.debate.org...

Open Debate Topics Project: http://www.debate.org...
imabench
Posts: 21,220
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8/18/2016 6:34:20 AM
Posted: 3 months ago
At 8/18/2016 2:46:07 AM, Hayd wrote:

Imabench hated his guts.... His jewishness, his intellectualism, his lack of muscles, his non-alpha maleness.

Its like youve known me for my whole life <3
Kevin24018 : "He's just so mean it makes me want to ball up my fists and stamp on the ground"
Geogeer: "Nobody is dumb enough to become my protege."

7/14/16 = The Presidency Dies

DDO: THE MOVIE = http://www.debate.org...
http://www.debate.org...

VP of DDO from Dec 14th 2014 to Jan 1st 2015
ColeTrain
Posts: 4,315
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8/18/2016 8:54:07 PM
Posted: 3 months ago
At 8/18/2016 2:52:21 AM, Hayd wrote:
At 8/18/2016 2:47:03 AM, ColeTrain wrote:
At 8/18/2016 2:46:07 AM, Hayd wrote:

tl;dr

jk, I'll read it later :P

omg you messed up my posts, why!!!!!!!!

*breaks down into tears*

Sorry :(
"The right to 360 noscope noobs shall not be infringed!!!" -- tajshar2k
"So, to start off, I've never committed suicide." -- Vaarka
"I eat glue." -- brontoraptor
"I mean, at this rate, I'd argue for a ham sandwich presidency." -- ResponsiblyIrresponsible
"Overthrow Assad, heil jihad." -- 16kadams when trolling in hangout
"Hillary Clinton is not my favorite person ... and her campaign is as inspiring as a bowl of cottage cheese." -- YYW
fire_wings
Posts: 5,562
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8/18/2016 9:23:34 PM
Posted: 3 months ago
At 8/18/2016 8:54:07 PM, ColeTrain wrote:
At 8/18/2016 2:52:21 AM, Hayd wrote:
At 8/18/2016 2:47:03 AM, ColeTrain wrote:
At 8/18/2016 2:46:07 AM, Hayd wrote:

tl;dr

jk, I'll read it later :P

omg you messed up my posts, why!!!!!!!!

*breaks down into tears*

Sorry :(

lol
#ALLHAILFIRETHEKINGOFTHEMISCFORUM

...it's not a new policy... it's just that DDO was built on an ancient burial ground, and that means the spirits of old rise again to cause us problems sometimes- Airmax1227

Wtf you must have an IQ of 250 if you're 11 and already decent at this- 16k

Go to sleep!!!!- missmozart

So to start off, I never committed suicide- Vaarka
Capital
Posts: 588
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8/18/2016 9:53:15 PM
Posted: 3 months ago
At 8/18/2016 2:46:07 AM, Hayd wrote:
"Intellectuals." he sneers in the same voice that Hitler would use to refer to the "Jews," or greasy disgusting rats that infest and spread their disease, dirt, vermon and disgustingness to everything they touch. He has impressively cultivated the same tone for many of the adjectives that he uses to smear the "moderators" after his shift is done and he chows down on his lunch in the break room. One can easily imagine him practicing in front of mirror to pronunciate "Airmax" and "Whiteflame" and "moderator" and "Jews" in order to conjure in one's mind the most disgusting and lowest form of life imaginable, oozing out sludge from every pore, and stuff like that.

Most of the other agents of the Secret Service put on a facade of avid agreement when listening to Imabench in the break room, whilst he eats his 40 gram protein bars, assorted nuts, protein cheerios, protein shakes, and (pure) creatine powder.

Imabench enjoyed this newly acquired attention, and takes every opportunity to remind everyone why. He is the new top dog, the alpha male. The change happened three weeks ago due to YYW being expelled from the service because of failure to protect the moderator he was in charge of that day: whiteflame. Whiteflame had been strolling through his day to day activities of reviewing votes on debates when a furious member who had lost his voting privileges decided to enact revenge.

While whiteflame walked back to his car after reviewing that day's reported votes, the enraged member crouched on a rooftop overlooking the parking lot with a sniper, the scope trained on the door to the office building. As the door opened the first bodyguard, Tejretics, walked out with Whiteflame following closely behind, and YYW on his heels. Bsh1 walked in-step with Whiteflame, walking closest to the sniper-inhabited rooftop.

The first bullet downed the bodyguard in front instantly, but there was no hesitation or pause instep for the body-guards. They had been trained specifically for this. Bsh1 instantly grabbed Whiteflame's meager, intellectual, jewish body in his arms and turned back towards the door of the office building, Whiteflame desperately clasping the yamaka on his head. YYW turned, took one good look at whiteflame and bsh1's frantic faces, and then slammed the door on them. Luckily, this happened at the exact moment that the sniper was going to get a perfect head shot on whiteflame and thus caused him to shoot 2 inches too high due to breaking into hysterical laughter. The bullet grazed Whiteflame's head, putting a bullethole in his yamaka.

Imabench then became the alpha male of the Secret Service, and has been savoring every moment. The only drawback is that Imabench now has to do a shift covering Airmax, which isn't nearly as cool as covering Blade-of-truth. Nobody has ever attacked BoT, as nobody ever had any reason to, and thus covering BoT mainly consisted of sipping beer while playing pool at bars where BoT consistently got two girls for each of his guards, and three for himself. He literally is the most interesting man in the world, except not old.

Airmax on the other hand wasn't nearly as interesting, when he did have personal discussions with his guards, he found it difficult to discuss anything besides video games. Given that most of the guards weren't skinny zit-faced geeks like Airmax was, the conversations didn't go well. The few times that there was a discussion outside of nerdy stuff, Max didn't take a side on anything, just being apathetic and repeating the same idea 20 different times whilst not letting anyone else get a word in to tell him that he had presented the same fvcking thought 20 different times over the course of one long as hell hour.

Imabench hated his guts, his jewishness, his intellectualism, his lack of muscles, his non-alpha maleness. He was superior to this measly Jew, but he was the moderator, and he had taken an oath to protect him, and there was no greater social respect that serving one's site that way.

"Have you heard about the recent death threats? They have to do with some crazy religious cult." lannan13 asked. He was assembling and disassembling his firearm on the break room counter.

"Ah, the Born_of_God cult. Yes, I know well of them." Imabench responded stressing the fact that he had already known what it was and thus knowledgable thus proving his alpha maleness.

"For some reason I feel that these guys are different from the others, I think we ought to take them seriously." Lannan13 said, very obviously using the literary device of foreshadowing for a later event in the story.

"You're such a wimp Lannan, you're really lame. You're a scaredy cat. I'm not scared of anything, the BoG cult is no big deal." imabench said, obviously foreshadowing that his arrogance will get him in trouble. He then rose from the table and walked with large gate and puffed chest back to work.

The day at work was busy for Airmax and he had to work late into the night. Airmax was at his desk deleting posts whilst Imabench watched motivational videos on his phone as his electric shock belt went to work on his abs. All was calm until there was a loud crash from somewhere outside of the building.

"What was that?" airmax asked, looking up from his computer screen.

"I don't know. I'll go investigate." Imabench replied.

"I'll come with you." Airmax replied.

"Ok, I'll leave my gun behind." Imabench replies as he unclips his pistol and sets in on the desk next to the computer.

"Are you going to call for backup?"

"No."

"Ok."

As they exited the building they heard another clatter, coming from a large open space with no cover surrounded completely surrounded by shadows, of which many people could hide behind unseen.

"The sound came from over there, let's go over there." Imabench said.

"Ok." Airmax replied.

When they reached the middle of the open space there was a signal, "Cackaw! Cackaw!"

At the signal many people rose out from behind the shadows where they had hidden unseen. All of which held knives, clubs, and various other harming tools. Then, one man strode forth. He was old, and he told them his story. It sounded very much like this,

"I've known our Creator since December 7th, 1979 when He spoke into my mind these words, "I AM YOUR CREATOR". From that point on, every time He came into my mind to give me a command to obey, I knew it was the same Creator who spoke into my mind. I'm won't go into detail about the long period of time He spent getting me ready to testify to His knowledge that I've been sharing in this forum as His last saint because it's obviously no evidence that He exists. To look at me as a 60 year old man of Norwegian blood who has spent his life as a farmer, musician and construction worker, you would be totally deceived that I am God's last saint.

However, the knowledge I possess that contains the past, present and future and how we were created, is all the evidence that I need to understand ther--"

Bornofgod and all of his followers then went into full kamikaze mode and stormed the moderator and his bodyguard, with dynamite strapped to all of their chests yelling crazy cult stuff.

You had me at Hitler
Im not a Nazi
Axonly
Posts: 1,802
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8/20/2016 12:23:29 PM
Posted: 3 months ago
At 8/18/2016 2:46:07 AM, Hayd wrote:
"Intellectuals." he sneers in the same voice that Hitler would use to refer to the "Jews," or greasy disgusting rats that infest and spread their disease, dirt, vermon and disgustingness to everything they touch. He has impressively cultivated the same tone for many of the adjectives that he uses to smear the "moderators" after his shift is done and he chows down on his lunch in the break room. One can easily imagine him practicing in front of mirror to pronunciate "Airmax" and "Whiteflame" and "moderator" and "Jews" in order to conjure in one's mind the most disgusting and lowest form of life imaginable, oozing out sludge from every pore, and stuff like that.

Most of the other agents of the Secret Service put on a facade of avid agreement when listening to Imabench in the break room, whilst he eats his 40 gram protein bars, assorted nuts, protein cheerios, protein shakes, and (pure) creatine powder.

Imabench enjoyed this newly acquired attention, and takes every opportunity to remind everyone why. He is the new top dog, the alpha male. The change happened three weeks ago due to YYW being expelled from the service because of failure to protect the moderator he was in charge of that day: whiteflame. Whiteflame had been strolling through his day to day activities of reviewing votes on debates when a furious member who had lost his voting privileges decided to enact revenge.

While whiteflame walked back to his car after reviewing that day's reported votes, the enraged member crouched on a rooftop overlooking the parking lot with a sniper, the scope trained on the door to the office building. As the door opened the first bodyguard, Tejretics, walked out with Whiteflame following closely behind, and YYW on his heels. Bsh1 walked in-step with Whiteflame, walking closest to the sniper-inhabited rooftop.

The first bullet downed the bodyguard in front instantly, but there was no hesitation or pause instep for the body-guards. They had been trained specifically for this. Bsh1 instantly grabbed Whiteflame's meager, intellectual, jewish body in his arms and turned back towards the door of the office building, Whiteflame desperately clasping the yamaka on his head. YYW turned, took one good look at whiteflame and bsh1's frantic faces, and then slammed the door on them. Luckily, this happened at the exact moment that the sniper was going to get a perfect head shot on whiteflame and thus caused him to shoot 2 inches too high due to breaking into hysterical laughter. The bullet grazed Whiteflame's head, putting a bullethole in his yamaka.

Imabench then became the alpha male of the Secret Service, and has been savoring every moment. The only drawback is that Imabench now has to do a shift covering Airmax, which isn't nearly as cool as covering Blade-of-truth. Nobody has ever attacked BoT, as nobody ever had any reason to, and thus covering BoT mainly consisted of sipping beer while playing pool at bars where BoT consistently got two girls for each of his guards, and three for himself. He literally is the most interesting man in the world, except not old.

Airmax on the other hand wasn't nearly as interesting, when he did have personal discussions with his guards, he found it difficult to discuss anything besides video games. Given that most of the guards weren't skinny zit-faced geeks like Airmax was, the conversations didn't go well. The few times that there was a discussion outside of nerdy stuff, Max didn't take a side on anything, just being apathetic and repeating the same idea 20 different times whilst not letting anyone else get a word in to tell him that he had presented the same fvcking thought 20 different times over the course of one long as hell hour.

Imabench hated his guts, his jewishness, his intellectualism, his lack of muscles, his non-alpha maleness. He was superior to this measly Jew, but he was the moderator, and he had taken an oath to protect him, and there was no greater social respect that serving one's site that way.

"Have you heard about the recent death threats? They have to do with some crazy religious cult." lannan13 asked. He was assembling and disassembling his firearm on the break room counter.

"Ah, the Born_of_God cult. Yes, I know well of them." Imabench responded stressing the fact that he had already known what it was and thus knowledgable thus proving his alpha maleness.

"For some reason I feel that these guys are different from the others, I think we ought to take them seriously." Lannan13 said, very obviously using the literary device of foreshadowing for a later event in the story.

"You're such a wimp Lannan, you're really lame. You're a scaredy cat. I'm not scared of anything, the BoG cult is no big deal." imabench said, obviously foreshadowing that his arrogance will get him in trouble. He then rose from the table and walked with large gate and puffed chest back to work.

The day at work was busy for Airmax and he had to work late into the night. Airmax was at his desk deleting posts whilst Imabench watched motivational videos on his phone as his electric shock belt went to work on his abs. All was calm until there was a loud crash from somewhere outside of the building.

"What was that?" airmax asked, looking up from his computer screen.

"I don't know. I'll go investigate." Imabench replied.

"I'll come with you." Airmax replied.

"Ok, I'll leave my gun behind." Imabench replies as he unclips his pistol and sets in on the desk next to the computer.

"Are you going to call for backup?"

"No."

"Ok."

As they exited the building they heard another clatter, coming from a large open space with no cover surrounded completely surrounded by shadows, of which many people could hide behind unseen.

"The sound came from over there, let's go over there." Imabench said.

"Ok." Airmax replied.

When they reached the middle of the open space there was a signal, "Cackaw! Cackaw!"

At the signal many people rose out from behind the shadows where they had hidden unseen. All of which held knives, clubs, and various other harming tools. Then, one man strode forth. He was old, and he told them his story. It sounded very much like this,

"I've known our Creator since December 7th, 1979 when He spoke into my mind these words, "I AM YOUR CREATOR". From that point on, every time He came into my mind to give me a command to obey, I knew it was the same Creator who spoke into my mind. I'm won't go into detail about the long period of time He spent getting me ready to testify to His knowledge that I've been sharing in this forum as His last saint because it's obviously no evidence that He exists. To look at me as a 60 year old man of Norwegian blood who has spent his life as a farmer, musician and construction worker, you would be totally deceived that I am God's last saint.

However, the knowledge I possess that contains the past, present and future and how we were created, is all the evidence that I need to understand ther--"

Bornofgod and all of his followers then went into full kamikaze mode and stormed the moderator and his bodyguard, with dynamite strapped to all of their chests yelling crazy cult stuff.

t, when all hope was lost the user known as Hayd landed right in front of Ima and Max. He was barefoot and had long blonde hair and looked like one of those *cool* hippie people. He turned his head and gave them the wink-hair swish and was off doing kung fu moves on the kamikaze people. Grabbing one guy and flinging him around in a circle, knocking out row after row of crazy people. He then flung the guy through the crowd, taking five crazy people with him.

The scene looked like that one scene from the second matrix movie where there's Neo and the agent meet in that park and there's like a thousand
Meh!