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Imabench DDOlympic Long Story Submission

imabench
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9/2/2016 11:25:01 PM
Posted: 3 months ago
BSH: [Musically] "It seems to me..... That all you see.... Is violence and netflix, and porn on the web......"
YYW: "But where are those, good, old-fashioned convo's"
REST OF THE CAST: "On which we used to relyyyyyyyyyy?"

MAIN CAST: "Lucky there's a Family Guyyyyyy!.... Lucky there's a man who..... Positively can do...... All the things that make us-"

THETT: "Laugh and cry!"

MAIN CAST: "He's..... a...... Fam.....ily...... Guyyyyyyyyyy!"

==================================================================

[Family Home]

Bsh stormed into the kitchen, visibly upset.

BSH: "Dammit Imabench! We talked about this!"
IMA: "Look Im sorry I pooped on the living room rug, but its hard for me to counter my doggy instincts and refrain from doing doggy stuff since Im a DOG"
BSH: "No Ima Im not talking about that.... Im talking about you making me a woman and an item with YYW in another one of your fanfictions!"
YYW: [Hungover] "Daaaaaamn Bsh, back at it again with the nagging for no f*cking reason"
IMA: "Look Bsh it was either I make you the housewife, or I make you the person represented in the tv show by Meg"
ROSALIE: "Why do I have to be Meg?"
YYW: "Shut up Meg"
ROSALIE: "I dont even get to be referred to by my actual name in this series?"
THETT3: "Ive been sitting here in a used diaper for 30 minutes, is this going to be addressed soon, or is my feces always going to be here like the empty space between Paul Ryan's ears?"
YYW: "Honey can you change Thett3?"
BSH: "Why cant YOU change him for once?"
IMA: "Remember what happened last time YYW tried to help someone?"

========================= Cutscene 1 ==============================

PEDESTRIAN: "Thank you so much for rescuing me from that pit of lions! I owe you my life!"
YYW: "No problem... I'd hate to be in such a horrible situation as the one you were just in"
PEDESTRIAN: "Now I can go home and post on facebook about all the marvelous things that SJW's are doing for this country!"
YYW: [Shoves Pedestrian back into the pit of lions]

========================= /Cutscene 1 ==============================

BSH: "Fine.... Come here Thett, lets get you changed"....

Bsh walked out of the room with Thett, and Meg was written out of the scene by Imabench to be tied up to a pole outside the house for the rest of the story. YYW sat down in his usual spot and rubbed his head, which was throbbing from the massive hangover he was dealing with.

IMA: "Hey can you drive me to a meeting I have in an hour? My car is in the shop right now so I could really use a lift"
YYW: "Sorry buddy I cant. Bsh wants me to have dinner with her parents tonight. She gave me a ton of chores to do so I dont leave and try to skip it....."
IMA: "Her parents are in town?"
YYW: "Yeah for a whole weekend. This is going to suck more then listening to crazy people on public transportation"

========================= Cutscene 2 ==============================

BRONTORAPTOR: "The LORD is all powerful! The LORD sees EVERYTHING! If you do NOT give him you unconditional DEVOTION, then he will cast you to HELL with those who believe in EVOLUTION!"

FIRE_WINGS: "Look sir, all I want to do is eat my Taco Bell burrito and have stage 4 Diarrhea into this bus-station trashcan quietly. If you're going to keep yelling crazy babble at people, im going to ask you do it elsewhere."

TV ANNOUNCER: "INTRODUCING THE NEW QUADRUPLE CHEESE BOWEL-BUSTER-BURRITO FROM TACO BELL...... NO OTHER BURRITO WILL GET YOU FROM TASTY TO THE TOILET LIKE THE NEW QUADRUPLE CHEESE BOWEL-BUSTER-BURRITO..... ORDER FOUR OR MORE, AND GET A FREE ROLL OF 2-PLY TOILET PAPER........ ONLY AT TACO BELL."

========================= /Cutscene 2 ==============================

IMA: "Hey Bsh can I borrow the family car for a bit? Mine is in the shop right now and I have a meeting in an hour that I really dont want to miss"
BSH: "Sure just have it back by 5 cause me and YYW are having dinner with my parents"
THETT: "Can I come with you Ima? I cant stand being stuck here with these two idiots day after day"
IMA: "Uhhh, I really dont think thats a good idea"
THETT: "Look tell you what, if we stop by the bank, I'll deposit some cash and give you a chunk of it for gas money from all the other times you drove me places.

Thett pulled out a wad of bills from his back pocket to prove to Ima he actually needed to stop by the bank. Ima took the money roll and examined it.

IMA: "Wow Thett this is a lot of money! How did you get it?"
THETT: "Jeb Bush paid people to attend his rallies during the primaries and I made bank"
IMA: "You volunteered to be a Jeb Bush supporter?"
THETT: "Eww god no.... I simply robbed and murdered the people who Jeb paid to support him.... So can I come with you?"
IMA: "Alright fine, but only because I really need the gas money"
THETT: "YAYYYYYY"
IMA: "But you have to promise not to tell anyone where it is we went"
THETT: "Sure thing"

[In the living room]

YYW: "Man the news is so depressing to watch these days...."
TUF: [On TV] "Im Tuf Tucker, sad news today as TheChristian was found alive in his apartment this morning despite doctor's best attempts to do otherwise. The doctors claim that he has built up a tolerance for his medications, but they said they plan to up his dosage and hope that nature finally takes its course...... Now for the weather with Vi Spex"
VI-SPEX: "NOON = RAIN"
TUF: "Thanks Vi Spex."

[1harder walks into the living room]

1HARDER: "Hey dad, Imabench hasnt written me into a scene yet and its not completely obvious which character on the show I represent either...."
YYW: "Well son, your actual first name is Chris and you are my only other kid who hasnt been introduced yet, so by process of elimination you would have to represent Chris. Feel better?"
1HARDER: "Yep!"
Kevin24018 : "He's just so mean it makes me want to ball up my fists and stamp on the ground"
Geogeer: "Nobody is dumb enough to become my protege."

7/14/16 = The Presidency Dies

DDO: THE MOVIE = http://www.debate.org...
http://www.debate.org...

VP of DDO from Dec 14th 2014 to Jan 1st 2015
imabench
Posts: 21,229
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9/2/2016 11:25:16 PM
Posted: 3 months ago
[Ima and Thett driving through the forums]

THETT: "Is it Joey's inability to mod mafia games?"
IMA: "Nope"
THETT: "Is it PetersSmith's inability to moderate the poll section properly?"
IMA: "Nope"
THETT: "Is it John Kasich's minority outreach efforts?"
IMA: "No, I spied a cloud"
THETT: "Ugh that was my next guess.... Tell me where we're going!"
IMA: "Look I cant do that for reasons"
THETT: "Why, is it scandalous? Is it embarrassing?"
IMA: "Its kinda personal. Look it doesnt matter any more, we're here"

They pulled into a parking lot for the local movie theater.

THETT: "Frozen 2 Casting Call? Youre trying to audition to be in Frozen 2? I cant believe it!"
IMA: "Why? This sounds EXACTLY like something I would do."
THETT: "How long is this going to take?"
IMA: "Im not sure, but it shouldnt take longer than 30 minutes so you can wait here in the car while I take care of this real quick"
THETT: "Wait! Crack the windows first!"

Ima locked the car without hearing Thett request, a young couple walked by the car shortly afterwards and spotted Thett inside.

MAN: "Oh no! There's a baby locked in the car on a hot day!"
WOMAN: "Oh no!"
MAN: "Wait, his head is shaped really weird"
WOMAN: "Oh, nevermind then"

The couple walked away from the car.

[Back at the House, the phone rings]

YYW: "Hello?"
BLADE: "Hey YYW its me!"
YYW: "Oh hey Blade of Truth! How was the latest Tyler Perry movie you saw?"
BLADE: "Yeah yeah we get it Im the black friend. Listen, me and your two other friends Im not going to introduce yet are heading to the bowling alley to get drunk like we did last night, why dont you come along?"
YYW: "I cant, Im stuck at home because BSH doesnt want me to skip dinner with her parents tonight, and I dont have my car either"
BLADE: "Well Ill pick you up, then we can party for a few hours and Ill drive you back home before you have to leave"
YYW: "Hey thats a great idea! Okay I'll sneak out and meet you over at your place in a minute..... [click]...... Man I havent been this excited since that time I saw that mentally deranged psychotic wild animal in my front lawn"

========================= Cutscene 3 ==============================

[YYW sitting alone on the couch and then pointing outside the window]

YYW: "Omg its Emmarie!"

========================= /Cutscene 3 ==============================

[20 minutes later at the bowling alley, with several empty pitchers of beer on the table]

BLADE: "Alright, what would you rather stick your penis inside: A mailbox that is known to be a shelter for angry mice, or a vagina, but it belongs to Hillary Clinton?"
HAYD: "Blade we cant have that be the start of our conversation right after a cutscene, people dont even know which characters we are yet"
YYW: "Hey Hayd thanks for letting me borrow your handicapped parking sticker so I can park right in front"
MIKAL: "And thanks for letting me bring my Vietnamese blow-up sex doll here as well"
BLADE: "Okay that takes care of that"
YYW: "Hayd its your turn to bowl, and I'll bet you this beer that you cant hit 8 pins on your first try"
HAYD: "LETS DO IT!!! LOCK AND LOAD!!!"

Hayd backed up, then accelerated in his wheelchair as fast as possible, leaping out at the last minute onto the bowling alley and slid towards the pins, knocking down all of them. He yelled in triumph and pointed back at YYW, while Blade and Hayd started chanting for him to drink.

The manager quickly strode over to the group with a scowl on his face

MANAGER: "This is the second day in a row you guys have caused a scene at my bowling alley, Im going to have to ask you to leave"
YYW: "But we're not even that buzzed yet..... See?.... Our 'vomit pitcher' is only half full, and most of that came from Mikal"
MIKAL: "I threw up after I had to say positive things about the DDO Presidency. My body couldnt handle it"
MANAGER: "I dont care how drunk you are or arent, from now on you guys are not allowed to enter this bowling alley!"
YYW: "Whatever, we can find some other place to drink. Lets just get our things and.......... Oh CRAP........"

At the other end of the bowling alley, YYW locked eyes with a giant chicken whose birth name was 'Whiteflame'. A savage fight quickly broke out that lasted way too long to write about in detail without boring people to death and chewing up all my character space..... Lets just say that it resulted in $450,000 worth of property damage, 28 deaths, a nuclear reactor meltdown, 2 crashed airplanes, and testicular torsion.

[Back at the parking lot of the theater]

Imabench gets into the car, causing Thett3 to wake up after having passed out from exhaustion

THETT: "It took you three HOURS just to audition for a voice-actor role?.... What the hell man I've been dying in here!"
IMA: "Im sorry, I ended up getting temp banned for picking on some kid"
THETT: "Again? What did you do this time?"
IMA: "Nothing I dont regret"
THETT: "Well lets get out of here...... Ive been in here longer than a Cody_Franklin forum post"

========================= Cutscene 4 ==============================

[Scene where Cody stands in front of an auditorium of students giving a lecture like a professor

CODY: "So.........Bringing me back........ To my original argument that I mentioned......... In post #1283......... Which was a rehash of the argument I made in post #946.......... Whose conclusion I outlined in post #2214........ The reason why the Chlorophyll.......... Of Amazonian Fiquses........ Are relevant to the discussion......... Is because of how the role of Chlorophyll in the production of glucose.......... Ties into the work of Alexander Kleptin......... Whose 1688 manuscript on sanitation.......... Allowed for the Italian city of Venice........... To withstand the effects of the Bubonic Plague.......... Whose progress and evolution I outlined from posts #243 to #894..........

LANNAN13: "Is anyone else finding this very difficult to masturbate to?"

========================= /Cutscene 4 ==============================
Kevin24018 : "He's just so mean it makes me want to ball up my fists and stamp on the ground"
Geogeer: "Nobody is dumb enough to become my protege."

7/14/16 = The Presidency Dies

DDO: THE MOVIE = http://www.debate.org...
http://www.debate.org...

VP of DDO from Dec 14th 2014 to Jan 1st 2015
imabench
Posts: 21,229
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9/2/2016 11:25:30 PM
Posted: 3 months ago
[Back at the house, Ima and Thett3 walk inside]

IMA: "Hey Bsh, sorry I took so long, I got caught up in something"
BSH: "Thats fine, have you heard anything from Peter? He went out and left his cell phone here, I have no idea where he is or when he'll be back!"
THETT: "If anyone needs me, I'll be upstairs jerking off to Chris Christies endorsement speech for Trump, even if nothing comes out except for a sign on a pole that says 'BANG!'"
IMA: "Bsh why do you insist on having YYW dine with your parents?
BSH: "Because I really want my husband and my parents to have a good relationship with each other, but every time I try to make things better YYW only ever makes things worse or cancels on it completely"
IMA: Bsh maybe its for the best that YYW and your parents dont spend time together. YYW doesnt like them, and they clearly dont like him. They pretty much hate each other more than Airmax hates making decisions"

========================= Cutscene 5 ==============================

SECRETARY: "Sir, I need your signature here for this package"
AIRMAX: "Leave it on my desk so I can review it"
EMPLOYEE: "Sir, one of the janitors said he found some sort of toxic chemical that is leaking all over the basement"
AIRMAX: "Have him keep an eye on it and to report back to me when I feel comfortable enough to address the situation"
NURSE: "Doctor Airmax! This man needs emergency heart surgery right now otherwise he's going to die!"
AIRMAX: "Let me form a committee of several people who dont really know what is going on to review possible courses of actions over the next several days before coming to a decision that I will then delay for another several days after that in the hopes that someone else will voluntarily do it for me before deciding that its too late to do anything after that point"

========================= /Cutscene 5 ==============================

[Somewhere on the threads of DDO, dusk fast-approaching, where YYW and all of his friends are very intoxicated while Blade tries to drive a car]

YYW: "Alright alright..... Whose eyeballs would you rather lick....... Ann Coulter....... Or..... someone with no eyeballs?"
BLADE: "So....... So...... So...... If they dont have eyes, would..... Would we, then, be licking the sockets..... W-where their eyes used to be.....?"
YYW: " Ummmmmmm............ Yeah"
MIKAL: "Oh, well then eyeless lady without a doubt"
HAYD: "Yeah, not Ann Coulter"
BLADE: "Same here, Id pick the eyeless lady"
YYW: "Okay..... Okay...... How 'bout this....... Okay...... Would you rather vote for Jill Stein..... Or..... Someone who is actually qualified to be president?"

Hayd's phone suddenly rang, and he fumbled to open it.

HAYD: "H-Hello?"
IMA: "Hey Hayd its Ima, is YYW with you right now? He left his cellphone at home, we've been trying to reach him for a while now so I figured Id call you"
HAYD: "Yeah he's right here" He handed the phone to YYW
YYW: "Yeah I'll have 3 happy meals, 4 McNuggets, 2 milkshakes...... And Trump without his sh*tty VP pick"
THETT: [In the background] "Make that a double!"
IMA: "YYW its Ima, you need to get home, you have dinner with Bsh's parents in 5 minutes, where are you?"
YYW: "We're driving home right now..... But.... Some fatty in front of us though is going super slow so we're running late....."
MIKAL: "THE SPEED LIMIT IS 45, NOT 4 OR 5 YOU FAT COW"
COW: "I'LL HAVE YOU KNOW THAT MY WEIGHT IS PERFECTLY REASONABLE FOR A COW OF MY AGE"
YYW: "Jesus, this is more infuriating then that time I went on a game show with 000ike"

========================= Cutscene 6 ==============================

HOST: "Welcome back to Pyramid!..... Okay YYW and Ike, your category is 'Things that Annoy People'..... You have 30 seconds to guess as the final word and win $100,000...... Go!"

[The word is Mosquito's]

000IKE: "They fly around and make high-pitching whining sounds"
YYW: "Social Justice Warriors?"
000IKE: "They carry around the Zika Virus"
YYW: "Brazilians?"
000IKE: "You can use bug spray to keep them away
YYW: "People who think they have Gluten allergies"
000IKE: "They try to suck your blood"
YYW: "My In-laws?"
000IKE: "They're insects"
YYW: "Muslim Refugees pouring into Europe?"
000IKE: "Theyre not people!"
YYW: "Muslim Refugees pouring into Europe?"

HOST: "Im afraid time has run out"

YYW: "Gene Wilder?"

========================= /Cutscene 6 ==============================

[Bsh on the phone talking to her father]

BSH: "Thanks for understanding why I might not be able to bring YYW tonight, even though now I'll have to be subjected to one of your factless and racist or sexist rants over the phone"
SADOLITE: "Sure thing honey. I knew this would happen since I am a man which automatically makes me smarter"
BSH: "I really wanted you and YYW to get along, but he makes it so hard to do that sometimes, and other times he just makes it worse on accident"
SADOLITE: "See, this is exactly why I said you should have married a rich white man who would make sure you stay in the kitchen where you belong.... Thats exactly what I did with my wife even though I know she's only with me because she thinks I put her in my will"
BSH: "Im not ready to give up on this though. I will try as hard as I can to make this work"
SADOLITE: "Bsh, getting YYW to work for something is like getting a black man to work for something, it cant be done!.... Its better to just let them be with their kind like it was in the good old days when they all stayed in the cities and couldnt vote."
BSH: "I'm going to try to contact him one last time, I'll see you tonight"
SADOLITE: "Okay. Just remember that I love you sexually and if you vote for democrats in November I will kill all of your children."

Sadolite hung up the phone, and after looking around to make sure no one was nearby, he reached into his pocket and pulled out a heart-shaped locket, which he opened to reveal a picture of Franklin Delano Roosevelt on the inside.

SADOLITE: [Whispering] "No one can ever know how much I love you"
Kevin24018 : "He's just so mean it makes me want to ball up my fists and stamp on the ground"
Geogeer: "Nobody is dumb enough to become my protege."

7/14/16 = The Presidency Dies

DDO: THE MOVIE = http://www.debate.org...
http://www.debate.org...

VP of DDO from Dec 14th 2014 to Jan 1st 2015
imabench
Posts: 21,229
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9/2/2016 11:25:44 PM
Posted: 3 months ago
IMA: "Wow Bsh, you look nice"
BSH: "Thank you. I dont know when I will be home, but if YYW gets home before me, let him know that he's in really big trouble and he has to clean up Thett's poop for the rest of the year"
THETT: "Like how the Tea Party is making Paul Ryan clean up the mess that John Boehnor left for him in DC"
IMA: "What if he doesn't come home before you?"
BSH: "Then make sure everyone else is in bed, and I'll be waiting for YYW here in the living room with the shotgun"
IMA: "Isnt that a little extreme?"
BSH: "Its either that or I make him watch a 3 hour Rachel Maddow documentary of everything she thinks is wrong with free speech"
THETT: "Aaaaaaaand I shat myself"
BSH: "There's money on the counter to order food if you get hungry, Ill be back in a bit"

Bsh walked out the door, and Ima sat down on the couch, picking up the Rachel Maddow DVD to examine it further

IMA: "It says it comes with 30 minutes of bonus footage featuring director Michael Moore and writer Al Sharpton'"
THETT: "Do this country a favor and fuckin burn that thing"
IMA: "I feel kinda bad for YYW about what he's getting himself into"
THETT: "Oh come on, he needs to learn that sometimes its better to avoid causing sh*t just to have fun now and then"
IMA: "Thett this is bigger then that. We are talking about their entire marriage falling apart. Doesnt that concern you at all?"
THETT: "Pfft, please..... You'd have to go to an alternate universe for BSH and YYW to despise each other"
IMA: "I dunno, YYW and BSH have a history of getting into big fights that didnt end well..... Like that time they took a tour of their old high school"

========================= Cutscene 7 ==============================

BSH: "This is so cool to be back here again"
YYW: "Yeah its pretty neat"
BSH: "I just wish that the school did more to try to create safe spaces for children to not be exposed to ideas they dont like"
YYW: [Pushes Bsh into a pit of lions]

========================= /Cutscene 7 ==============================

YYW entered through the door, not drunk but very hungover.

YYW: "I need all of you to keep your voices to a minimum and to make the room not spin so much"
IMA: "YYW your home! You just missed BSH. If you get dressed quick and leave now you'll be able to catch her!"
YYW: "Im not going to go eat dinner with her and her dumba** father. The man has a locket of FDR in it that he likes to whisper to"
THETT: "You really are hung over arent you?"
IMA: "Look YYW I really need you to do this for me. I dont want to see your marriage fail and you going to this dinner would really prevent that from happening"
YYW: "There is NO WAY I am going to that, and thats final"

Imabench picked up the Rachel Maddow DVD and started waving it around the room like it was a ghost

IMA: "You will go to the dinnerrrrrrrrr, or else you will listen to me talk about freedommmmmmm!"
YYW: "Okay, okay, Ill go! Keep that fuckin thing away from me!"

He bolted out the door and started the car

THETT: "Wow that worked better than that time-"
IMA: "Look I dont have time for another damn cut scene lets just wrap this up"

[At a fancy Cuban restaurant that says 'Jaguar parking up front, Lexus parking in the back']

SADOLITE: "And make sure that whichever illegal immigrant is working the stove doesnt spit on my mashed potatoes"
YYW: "BSH!"
BSH: "YYW! Oh my god. What are you-, how did-, what are you doing here?"
YYW: "I realize now I messed up bad and that this dinner means a lot to you. I know I havent really given a full effort to have good relations with your dad, and I'm sorry"
SADOLITE: "Well well well, I didnt expect this at all. If I knew YYW was coming I would have taken us to Taco Bell and gone for a quick and painful diarrhea death"
BSH: "Look dad, YYW made a huge effort to make it here tonight, the least you could do is give him a chance"
MISSBAILEY: "Sadolite, as your wife-"
SADOLITE: "Dont even start, its way too late in this series to introduce another character. YYW I demand that you leave this restaurant at once!"
BSH: "Oh my god, how can you be so stubborn to my own husband!?!"
SADOLITE: "Simple, I'm a cis-gendered white male born in the US before 1950 who has little to no empathy for anything except for my family and my bank account"
BSH: "YYW though IS a part of your family, he's as much as part of your family as I am!"
YYW: I know that you and I have butted heads in the past but we're never going to fix things if youre not willing to work for it"
SADOLITE: "I absolutely refuse to be seen eating with someone who makes me feel insecure about my worldview and wont let me live in my own version of reality"
BSH: "My husband WILL be joining us at this dinner and if you dont like it then YOU leave!"
SADOLITE: "Fine, I will! Come on honey, lets go throw rocks at poor people like we did on our honeymoon back in 1877"

Sadolite stormed out of the restaurant in a huff, with Miss Bailey following behind him after complimenting and hugging Bsh and YYW each.

YYW: "Well now what do we do?"
BSH: "Well we're both here and we have a reservation. Why dont you and I have a night out?"
YYW: "That sounds lovely dear"

The two sat down at the table right as their Cuban waiter approached their table.

YYW: "Dont I know you?"
MARCO RUBIO: "Probably not. Would you like to hear what we have for our specials this evening?"
BSH: "Yes please"
MARCO RUBIO: "Our special tonight is a Quadruple Cheese Bowel-Buster-Burrito that comes with complimentary 2 ply toilet paper......"

========================= The End ==============================
Kevin24018 : "He's just so mean it makes me want to ball up my fists and stamp on the ground"
Geogeer: "Nobody is dumb enough to become my protege."

7/14/16 = The Presidency Dies

DDO: THE MOVIE = http://www.debate.org...
http://www.debate.org...

VP of DDO from Dec 14th 2014 to Jan 1st 2015
imabench
Posts: 21,229
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9/2/2016 11:52:37 PM
Posted: 3 months ago
At 9/2/2016 11:48:07 PM, Mikal wrote:
Why do I have to have a Vietnamese blow up doll

https://i.ytimg.com...
Kevin24018 : "He's just so mean it makes me want to ball up my fists and stamp on the ground"
Geogeer: "Nobody is dumb enough to become my protege."

7/14/16 = The Presidency Dies

DDO: THE MOVIE = http://www.debate.org...
http://www.debate.org...

VP of DDO from Dec 14th 2014 to Jan 1st 2015
Vaarka
Posts: 7,637
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9/2/2016 11:52:49 PM
Posted: 3 months ago
Both of my feet fell asleep while reading this story...
You're probably thinking right now "haha I'm a genius". Well you're not -Valkrin

inferno: "I don't know, are you attracted to women?"
ButterCatX: "No, Vaarka is mine!"

All hail scum Vaarka, wielder of the bastard sword, smiter of nations, destroyer of spiders -VOT

"Vaarka, I've been thinking about this for a long time now," (pulls out small box made of macaroni) "W-will you be my noodle buddy?" -Kirigaya
imabench
Posts: 21,229
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9/2/2016 11:53:55 PM
Posted: 3 months ago
At 9/2/2016 11:52:49 PM, Vaarka wrote:
Both of my feet fell asleep while reading this story...

Is that a good thing or a bad thing?
Kevin24018 : "He's just so mean it makes me want to ball up my fists and stamp on the ground"
Geogeer: "Nobody is dumb enough to become my protege."

7/14/16 = The Presidency Dies

DDO: THE MOVIE = http://www.debate.org...
http://www.debate.org...

VP of DDO from Dec 14th 2014 to Jan 1st 2015
Vaarka
Posts: 7,637
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9/2/2016 11:54:50 PM
Posted: 3 months ago
At 9/2/2016 11:53:55 PM, imabench wrote:
At 9/2/2016 11:52:49 PM, Vaarka wrote:
Both of my feet fell asleep while reading this story...

Is that a good thing or a bad thing?

It means I sat on my feet while reading the entire thing.

Also, nice story.
You're probably thinking right now "haha I'm a genius". Well you're not -Valkrin

inferno: "I don't know, are you attracted to women?"
ButterCatX: "No, Vaarka is mine!"

All hail scum Vaarka, wielder of the bastard sword, smiter of nations, destroyer of spiders -VOT

"Vaarka, I've been thinking about this for a long time now," (pulls out small box made of macaroni) "W-will you be my noodle buddy?" -Kirigaya
imabench
Posts: 21,229
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9/3/2016 12:31:25 AM
Posted: 3 months ago
At 9/2/2016 11:54:50 PM, Vaarka wrote:
At 9/2/2016 11:53:55 PM, imabench wrote:
At 9/2/2016 11:52:49 PM, Vaarka wrote:
Both of my feet fell asleep while reading this story...

Is that a good thing or a bad thing?

It means I sat on my feet while reading the entire thing.

Also, nice story.

<3
Kevin24018 : "He's just so mean it makes me want to ball up my fists and stamp on the ground"
Geogeer: "Nobody is dumb enough to become my protege."

7/14/16 = The Presidency Dies

DDO: THE MOVIE = http://www.debate.org...
http://www.debate.org...

VP of DDO from Dec 14th 2014 to Jan 1st 2015
imabench
Posts: 21,229
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9/3/2016 7:12:07 AM
Posted: 3 months ago
At 9/3/2016 2:29:04 AM, YYW wrote:
lol I loved it

Well I knew YOU would :P
Kevin24018 : "He's just so mean it makes me want to ball up my fists and stamp on the ground"
Geogeer: "Nobody is dumb enough to become my protege."

7/14/16 = The Presidency Dies

DDO: THE MOVIE = http://www.debate.org...
http://www.debate.org...

VP of DDO from Dec 14th 2014 to Jan 1st 2015
fire_wings
Posts: 5,563
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9/3/2016 8:25:15 AM
Posted: 3 months ago
At 9/2/2016 11:25:01 PM, imabench wrote:
BSH: [Musically] "It seems to me..... That all you see.... Is violence and netflix, and porn on the web......"
YYW: "But where are those, good, old-fashioned convo's"
REST OF THE CAST: "On which we used to relyyyyyyyyyy?"

MAIN CAST: "Lucky there's a Family Guyyyyyy!.... Lucky there's a man who..... Positively can do...... All the things that make us-"

THETT: "Laugh and cry!"

MAIN CAST: "He's..... a...... Fam.....ily...... Guyyyyyyyyyy!"

==================================================================

[Family Home]

Bsh stormed into the kitchen, visibly upset.

BSH: "Dammit Imabench! We talked about this!"
IMA: "Look Im sorry I pooped on the living room rug, but its hard for me to counter my doggy instincts and refrain from doing doggy stuff since Im a DOG"
BSH: "No Ima Im not talking about that.... Im talking about you making me a woman and an item with YYW in another one of your fanfictions!"
YYW: [Hungover] "Daaaaaamn Bsh, back at it again with the nagging for no f*cking reason"
IMA: "Look Bsh it was either I make you the housewife, or I make you the person represented in the tv show by Meg"
ROSALIE: "Why do I have to be Meg?"
YYW: "Shut up Meg"
ROSALIE: "I dont even get to be referred to by my actual name in this series?"
THETT3: "Ive been sitting here in a used diaper for 30 minutes, is this going to be addressed soon, or is my feces always going to be here like the empty space between Paul Ryan's ears?"
YYW: "Honey can you change Thett3?"
BSH: "Why cant YOU change him for once?"
IMA: "Remember what happened last time YYW tried to help someone?"

========================= Cutscene 1 ==============================

PEDESTRIAN: "Thank you so much for rescuing me from that pit of lions! I owe you my life!"
YYW: "No problem... I'd hate to be in such a horrible situation as the one you were just in"
PEDESTRIAN: "Now I can go home and post on facebook about all the marvelous things that SJW's are doing for this country!"
YYW: [Shoves Pedestrian back into the pit of lions]

========================= /Cutscene 1 ==============================

BSH: "Fine.... Come here Thett, lets get you changed"....

Bsh walked out of the room with Thett, and Meg was written out of the scene by Imabench to be tied up to a pole outside the house for the rest of the story. YYW sat down in his usual spot and rubbed his head, which was throbbing from the massive hangover he was dealing with.

IMA: "Hey can you drive me to a meeting I have in an hour? My car is in the shop right now so I could really use a lift"
YYW: "Sorry buddy I cant. Bsh wants me to have dinner with her parents tonight. She gave me a ton of chores to do so I dont leave and try to skip it....."
IMA: "Her parents are in town?"
YYW: "Yeah for a whole weekend. This is going to suck more then listening to crazy people on public transportation"

========================= Cutscene 2 ==============================

BRONTORAPTOR: "The LORD is all powerful! The LORD sees EVERYTHING! If you do NOT give him you unconditional DEVOTION, then he will cast you to HELL with those who believe in EVOLUTION!"

FIRE_WINGS: "Look sir, all I want to do is eat my Taco Bell burrito and have stage 4 Diarrhea into this bus-station trashcan quietly. If you're going to keep yelling crazy babble at people, im going to ask you do it elsewhere."

lol


TV ANNOUNCER: "INTRODUCING THE NEW QUADRUPLE CHEESE BOWEL-BUSTER-BURRITO FROM TACO BELL...... NO OTHER BURRITO WILL GET YOU FROM TASTY TO THE TOILET LIKE THE NEW QUADRUPLE CHEESE BOWEL-BUSTER-BURRITO..... ORDER FOUR OR MORE, AND GET A FREE ROLL OF 2-PLY TOILET PAPER........ ONLY AT TACO BELL."

========================= /Cutscene 2 ==============================

IMA: "Hey Bsh can I borrow the family car for a bit? Mine is in the shop right now and I have a meeting in an hour that I really dont want to miss"
BSH: "Sure just have it back by 5 cause me and YYW are having dinner with my parents"
THETT: "Can I come with you Ima? I cant stand being stuck here with these two idiots day after day"
IMA: "Uhhh, I really dont think thats a good idea"
THETT: "Look tell you what, if we stop by the bank, I'll deposit some cash and give you a chunk of it for gas money from all the other times you drove me places.

Thett pulled out a wad of bills from his back pocket to prove to Ima he actually needed to stop by the bank. Ima took the money roll and examined it.

IMA: "Wow Thett this is a lot of money! How did you get it?"
THETT: "Jeb Bush paid people to attend his rallies during the primaries and I made bank"
IMA: "You volunteered to be a Jeb Bush supporter?"
THETT: "Eww god no.... I simply robbed and murdered the people who Jeb paid to support him.... So can I come with you?"
IMA: "Alright fine, but only because I really need the gas money"
THETT: "YAYYYYYY"
IMA: "But you have to promise not to tell anyone where it is we went"
THETT: "Sure thing"

[In the living room]

YYW: "Man the news is so depressing to watch these days...."
TUF: [On TV] "Im Tuf Tucker, sad news today as TheChristian was found alive in his apartment this morning despite doctor's best attempts to do otherwise. The doctors claim that he has built up a tolerance for his medications, but they said they plan to up his dosage and hope that nature finally takes its course...... Now for the weather with Vi Spex"
VI-SPEX: "NOON = RAIN"
TUF: "Thanks Vi Spex."

[1harder walks into the living room]

1HARDER: "Hey dad, Imabench hasnt written me into a scene yet and its not completely obvious which character on the show I represent either...."
YYW: "Well son, your actual first name is Chris and you are my only other kid who hasnt been introduced yet, so by process of elimination you would have to represent Chris. Feel better?"
1HARDER: "Yep!"

Good story.
#ALLHAILFIRETHEKINGOFTHEMISCFORUM

...it's not a new policy... it's just that DDO was built on an ancient burial ground, and that means the spirits of old rise again to cause us problems sometimes- Airmax1227

Wtf you must have an IQ of 250 if you're 11 and already decent at this- 16k

Go to sleep!!!!- missmozart

So to start off, I never committed suicide- Vaarka
Deb-8-A-Bull
Posts: 2,181
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9/3/2016 8:47:08 AM
Posted: 3 months ago
At 9/3/2016 7:12:07 AM, imabench wrote:
At 9/3/2016 2:29:04 AM, YYW wrote:
lol I loved it

Well I knew YOU would :P

I'm trying to picture the voices that go with the names
Who does your voice. ?
I can kind of think who will speak the voice of YYW and thett
Who's got the Morgan Freeman voice , is there a Michael Jackson voice ?
I'm thinking Darth Vader can speak vi_spex parts.
And sadolite can be spoken by Mr T.
Any ideas ?
missmozart
Posts: 306
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9/3/2016 4:19:22 PM
Posted: 3 months ago
This was hilarious and very well-written :)
"Bonjour" -Feu

Diqiu: "Asian men are generally perceived as more feminine..."
Me: "Are you feminine?"
Diqiu: "Hey, no!"

"Do really really really good pens turn you on?" -Hayd

"bsh1's profile pic is what the snapchat filter would look like on steroids"- VOT

"let's keep it simple and traditional :D" -Biodome
imabench
Posts: 21,229
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9/5/2016 3:50:18 AM
Posted: 3 months ago
Shameless bump
Kevin24018 : "He's just so mean it makes me want to ball up my fists and stamp on the ground"
Geogeer: "Nobody is dumb enough to become my protege."

7/14/16 = The Presidency Dies

DDO: THE MOVIE = http://www.debate.org...
http://www.debate.org...

VP of DDO from Dec 14th 2014 to Jan 1st 2015
Kirigaya-Kazuto
Posts: 1,051
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9/6/2016 4:24:08 AM
Posted: 3 months ago
At 9/5/2016 3:50:18 AM, imabench wrote:
Shameless bump

This story made me reach completion.
#Don'tlookatDATXDUDE'sprofilebecauseyoureyeswillexplode ~ Petfish
#Treebrokethechurchbells ~ Discipulus_Didicit
Don't quote me ~fire_wings
If anyone's getting modkilled, it's kiri. Just for his sig. ~Seventh
Yes ~Vaarka
No ~Rosalie
Ya clown ~Solon
OSU! ~Vaarka
Vaarka
Posts: 7,637
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9/6/2016 11:11:13 PM
Posted: 3 months ago
At 9/6/2016 4:24:08 AM, Kirigaya-Kazuto wrote:
At 9/5/2016 3:50:18 AM, imabench wrote:
Shameless bump

This story made me reach completion.

Probably also made you reach climax
You're probably thinking right now "haha I'm a genius". Well you're not -Valkrin

inferno: "I don't know, are you attracted to women?"
ButterCatX: "No, Vaarka is mine!"

All hail scum Vaarka, wielder of the bastard sword, smiter of nations, destroyer of spiders -VOT

"Vaarka, I've been thinking about this for a long time now," (pulls out small box made of macaroni) "W-will you be my noodle buddy?" -Kirigaya
imabench
Posts: 21,229
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9/7/2016 1:49:28 AM
Posted: 3 months ago
At 9/6/2016 4:24:08 AM, Kirigaya-Kazuto wrote:
At 9/5/2016 3:50:18 AM, imabench wrote:
Shameless bump

This story made me reach completion.

Again, not sure if thats a good thing or not
Kevin24018 : "He's just so mean it makes me want to ball up my fists and stamp on the ground"
Geogeer: "Nobody is dumb enough to become my protege."

7/14/16 = The Presidency Dies

DDO: THE MOVIE = http://www.debate.org...
http://www.debate.org...

VP of DDO from Dec 14th 2014 to Jan 1st 2015
Kirigaya-Kazuto
Posts: 1,051
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9/7/2016 2:22:17 PM
Posted: 3 months ago
At 9/6/2016 11:11:13 PM, Vaarka wrote:
At 9/6/2016 4:24:08 AM, Kirigaya-Kazuto wrote:
At 9/5/2016 3:50:18 AM, imabench wrote:
Shameless bump

This story made me reach completion.

Probably also made you reach climax

That's what I said.
#Don'tlookatDATXDUDE'sprofilebecauseyoureyeswillexplode ~ Petfish
#Treebrokethechurchbells ~ Discipulus_Didicit
Don't quote me ~fire_wings
If anyone's getting modkilled, it's kiri. Just for his sig. ~Seventh
Yes ~Vaarka
No ~Rosalie
Ya clown ~Solon
OSU! ~Vaarka
Kirigaya-Kazuto
Posts: 1,051
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9/7/2016 2:23:03 PM
Posted: 3 months ago
At 9/7/2016 1:49:28 AM, imabench wrote:
At 9/6/2016 4:24:08 AM, Kirigaya-Kazuto wrote:
At 9/5/2016 3:50:18 AM, imabench wrote:
Shameless bump

This story made me reach completion.

Again, not sure if thats a good thing or not

You never look at me until completion.
#Don'tlookatDATXDUDE'sprofilebecauseyoureyeswillexplode ~ Petfish
#Treebrokethechurchbells ~ Discipulus_Didicit
Don't quote me ~fire_wings
If anyone's getting modkilled, it's kiri. Just for his sig. ~Seventh
Yes ~Vaarka
No ~Rosalie
Ya clown ~Solon
OSU! ~Vaarka
Vaarka
Posts: 7,637
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9/7/2016 2:25:11 PM
Posted: 3 months ago
At 9/7/2016 2:22:17 PM, Kirigaya-Kazuto wrote:
At 9/6/2016 11:11:13 PM, Vaarka wrote:
At 9/6/2016 4:24:08 AM, Kirigaya-Kazuto wrote:
At 9/5/2016 3:50:18 AM, imabench wrote:
Shameless bump

This story made me reach completion.

Probably also made you reach climax

That's what I was implying. Thanks for clarifying that for everyone else, as some probably would not have recognized my joke.

Yeah
You're probably thinking right now "haha I'm a genius". Well you're not -Valkrin

inferno: "I don't know, are you attracted to women?"
ButterCatX: "No, Vaarka is mine!"

All hail scum Vaarka, wielder of the bastard sword, smiter of nations, destroyer of spiders -VOT

"Vaarka, I've been thinking about this for a long time now," (pulls out small box made of macaroni) "W-will you be my noodle buddy?" -Kirigaya
Kirigaya-Kazuto
Posts: 1,051
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9/7/2016 2:27:59 PM
Posted: 3 months ago
At 9/7/2016 2:25:11 PM, Vaarka wrote:
At 9/7/2016 2:22:17 PM, Kirigaya-Kazuto wrote:
At 9/6/2016 11:11:13 PM, Vaarka wrote:
At 9/6/2016 4:24:08 AM, Kirigaya-Kazuto wrote:
At 9/5/2016 3:50:18 AM, imabench wrote:
Shameless bump

This story made me reach completion.

Probably also made you reach climax

That's what I said

I don't understand jokes XP
#Don'tlookatDATXDUDE'sprofilebecauseyoureyeswillexplode ~ Petfish
#Treebrokethechurchbells ~ Discipulus_Didicit
Don't quote me ~fire_wings
If anyone's getting modkilled, it's kiri. Just for his sig. ~Seventh
Yes ~Vaarka
No ~Rosalie
Ya clown ~Solon
OSU! ~Vaarka