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first paragraph of a novel

leah12
Posts: 75
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1/17/2012 11:29:43 AM
Posted: 4 years ago
What do you guys think of this, it is the first paragraph of my novel.

When I was young my father told me, "Conner, always remember this: there are two sides to every story, and both are equally important." But that year of 1939, the year I turned fourteen I realized that some stories have three sides, I know mine did.

please only serious comments thanks!
Merry Christmas!
Greyparrot
Posts: 14,295
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1/17/2012 11:44:14 AM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 1/17/2012 11:29:43 AM, leah12 wrote:
But that year of 1939, the year I turned fourteen I realized that some stories have three sides, I know mine did.
please only serious comments thanks!

http://en.wikipedia.org...

also... start your sentences with power words, not butts.
Maikuru
Posts: 9,112
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1/17/2012 1:23:28 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 1/17/2012 11:29:43 AM, leah12 wrote:
What do you guys think of this, it is the first paragraph of my novel.

When I was young my father told me, "Conner, always remember this: there are two sides to every story, and both are equally important." But that year of 1939, the year I turned fourteen I realized that some stories have three sides, I know mine did.

please only serious comments thanks!

I would never encourage starting a story with a quote. The reader is immediately thrown and it feels amateurishness. Rephrase it so that the protagonist is reiterating what the father said or speaking to himself. You are also missing some commas after clauses and the final comma should probably be either a semi-colon or period.
"You assume I wouldn't want to burn this whole place to the ground."
- lamerde

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Ren
Posts: 7,102
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1/17/2012 6:57:24 PM
Posted: 4 years ago
At 1/17/2012 11:29:43 AM, leah12 wrote:
What do you guys think of this, it is the first paragraph of my novel.

When I was young my father told me, "Conner, always remember this: there are two sides to every story, and both are equally important." But that year of 1939, the year I turned fourteen I realized that some stories have three sides, I know mine did.

please only serious comments thanks!

I think it's a decent start, but further context would be very helpful.

In my experience (by reading), I notice the strongest (and most often used) opening to a book to thrust the reader into the middle an engaging situation that will help introduce that character into the story.

However, there's nothing stopping you from adopting the J.D. Salinger voice-over approach to storytelling. This can certainly be the first words you hear of a typical episode of the Wonder Years while Fred Savage makes one of his faces just before the crooning starts.

How about you post a page? Might be more helpful.
leah12
Posts: 75
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1/20/2012 10:43:05 AM
Posted: 4 years ago
thanks guys for the helpful comments. i realize my punctuation is horrid! i havent totally finished my first page the way i want it to be, but i will post it later. thanks!
Merry Christmas!