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Zetsubou
Posts: 4,933
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1/15/2011 12:27:14 PM
Posted: 5 years ago
It's a Poem.

Princess of the Moon
Here I am in the dawn of night
Searching for the princess that comes in bright
Show yourself you princess of the moon
For I come for thee with a hearth so gloom
Touch my hand you silk from above
So I may feel your skin so soft as a dove
Play for me your beautiful harp
So I may hear with ears your song so sharp
Share with me your light so bright
That I may see with glee a creation so right
Take pity on thee you daughter of Aphrodite
So I may come in a range with a chance to strike.
I look at you but blinded I am
For I am merely a son to Sam.

I like it, some lines somewhat kill the pentameter verse form but overall it's really good. It's better than what I could write, you have quite the talent. Do you write poetry for fun or is it something you were writing for English that you wanted to share?
'sup DDO -- july 2013
flamebreath
Posts: 17
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1/15/2011 12:36:14 PM
Posted: 5 years ago
At 1/15/2011 12:27:14 PM, Zetsubou wrote:
It's a Poem.

Princess of the Moon
Here I am in the dawn of night
Searching for the princess that comes in bright
Show yourself you princess of the moon
For I come for thee with a hearth so gloom
Touch my hand you silk from above
So I may feel your skin so soft as a dove
Play for me your beautiful harp
So I may hear with ears your song so sharp
Share with me your light so bright
That I may see with glee a creation so right
Take pity on thee you daughter of Aphrodite
So I may come in a range with a chance to strike.
I look at you but blinded I am
For I am merely a son to Sam.

I like it, some lines somewhat kill the pentameter verse form but overall it's really good. It's better than what I could write, you have quite the talent. Do you write poetry for fun or is it something you were writing for English that you wanted to share?

for fun and thanks.
Psycho
PoeJoe
Posts: 3,822
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1/15/2011 2:08:55 PM
Posted: 5 years ago
A little bit cliché, but I guess it sort of fits with the old-school poetry style you're getting at.

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