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Jim Lahey's Sh*tisms LMAO

Rational_Thinker9119
Posts: 9,054
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3/10/2014 6:13:04 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
Here are a couple of transcribed sh*tisms, the video is hilarious.

https://www.youtube.com...

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Jim Lahey: "When a sh*t apple falls from a tree and grows up in a field of sh*t, it doesn't have any choice, just like Trinity... She is going to grow up to be a sh*t apple tree just like her father."

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Officer Green: "What we have here Jim is a sh*t wolf. Do you know what a sh*t wolf is? You never seem that crucial little thing called evidence, but each time you cry sh*t wolf, and each time I come running. No more Jim, never again. Now, I want you to tell me what the moral of the story is. Say it Jim, say it..."

Jim Lahey: "Never cry sh*t wolf"

Officer Green: "That's right!"

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Jim Lahey: "What are those f*ckers up to?

Randy: "Probably going for some sh*t dogs and fries Mr. Lahey"

Jim Lahey: "Randy I thought we agreed, no more sh*t talk until we're back in power"

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Jim Lahey: "The abyss. The sh*t abyss"

Bubbles: "Sh* abyss? I'm not scared of the f*cking sh*t abyss. Lahey's f*cked"

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Jim Lahey: "He grew up as a little sh*t spark from the old sh*t flint, and he turned into a sh*t bon fire, and then driven by the winds of his monumental ignorance, he turned into a raging sh*t fire storm. If I get to be married to Barb I'll have total control of Sunnyvale, and then I can unleash a sh*tnami title wave that will engulf Ricky and extinguish his little sh*t flames forever, and with any luck, he'll drown in the under sh*it of that wave.....Sh*t waves"

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Randy: "What are you doing Mr. Lahey?

Jim Lahey: "Sh*t moths Randy"

Randy: "Sh*t moths?"

Jim Lahey: "Sh*t moths. They started off as tiny little sh*t larva Randy, and then they grew into sh*tapillers. A pandemic of sh*tapillers, and everywhere you look Randy, sh*tapillers. They almost threw me over the Godamn edge boy. I tried to exterminate them, I tried to put an end to the sh*tapiller's life cycle, but I failed. And now? Sh*t moths randy."

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Jim Lahey: "Do you know what a sh*t barometer is Bub?"

Bubbles: "No"

Jim Lahey: "It measures the sh*t pressure in the air. You can feel it, listen Bubs, hear that? Sounds of the whispering winds of sh*t"

Ricky: "What the f*ck are you going on about?

Jim Lahey: "Can you hear it?"

Bubbles: "No I don't hear anything"

Jim Lahey: "No, but you will my sorry little friend. When the old sh*t barometer rises, and you'll feel it to, your ears will implode from the sh*t pressure. You were warned Bubs. You picked the wrong side, beware my friend. Sh*t winds are a comin'"

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Jim Lahey: "Feel that?"

Randy: "Feel what Mr. Lahey?"

Jim Lahey: "The way the sh*t clings to the air Randy"

Randy: "Sh*t clings to the air?"

Jim Lahey: "It's already started my dear good friend"

Randy: "What started Mr. Lahey?

Jim Lahey: "The sh*t blizzard"

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Trevor: "You better step off Mr. Lahey!"

Jim Lahey: "Step off where Trevor?

Trevor: "The sh*t ledge"

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Jim Lahey: "What's at work here is sh*t tectonics; when two sh*t plates strike and come together under incredible pressure. What happens Bubbles?

Bubbles: "What Mr. Lahey?!

Jim Lahey: "Sh*t quake"

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Jim Lahey: "I got $100 here for groceries, I got $1,400 here for liquor, and I got $6,000 dollars for you to go bail out a couple of sh*t puppets. We only need a few more sh*t puppets for our play Randy, and they need to be angry...You say whatever it takes to get em angry, but they're not angry at us Randy. Sh*t puppets are supposed to be angry at other sh*t puppets. Take the bus."

Randy: "But Mr. Lahey, they could kill one another"

Jim Lahey: "Wouldn't that be nice?"

Randy: "Ya but we can't be involved with murder"

Jim Lahey: "Exactly Randy"

Randy: "Mr. Lahey, is this you talking or the liquor?"

Jim Lahey: "Randy... I am the liquor"

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I am convinced that there has never been a funnier drunk on television than Mr. Lahey ha
Rational_Thinker9119
Posts: 9,054
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3/10/2014 6:21:55 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
Jim Lahey: "Do you know what a sh*t rope is Julian? It's a rope covered with sh*t that criminals try to hold on to. You see, the sh*t is kind of acts like grease, the harder you try to climb up, the tighter you try to hold on, the faster you slide down the rope Julian, all the way to jail."

Ricky: "This is private property get the f*ck out of here, have another drink Lahey!... Great guys what are we gonna do now?"

Bubbles: "I'm afraid of the sh*t rope boys, what's a sh*t rope?"

Ricky: "He's drunk I don't f*cking know"

Bubbles: " Are we sliding down some part of a sh*tty rope?!"

HAHAH