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Preston's Pranks

Preston
Posts: 1,113
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7/8/2014 10:03:18 AM
Posted: 2 years ago
So I'm doing a daily prank to live support.
All NAMES AND COMPANIES WILL REMAIN ANONYMOUS
I hope you enjoy today"s Session:

Joshua: Hello Preston. Welcome to [COMPANY NAME] Support. How may I provide you with excellent service today?

Preston: Yea one sec my child is crying

Joshua: Hi Amanda

Joshua: No problem go ahead

Preston: ok, so my phone isn't turning on

Joshua: I am sorry to hear about this. Was the phone dropped or expose to water?

Preston: no but I did drop it in melted marshmallow last week

Joshua: Thank you, please try to press and hold the power button in the cell phone for 1 minute

Preston: ok one min

Preston: I think the button is stuck down

Joshua: Thank you

Preston: it"s stuck down and i can"t press it any further

Preston: it"s still not turning on

Joshua: It may have marshmallow residue there. You can try to take the battery cover and use a cloth to clean it all as much as you can

Joshua: And try to hold the power button for 1 minutes

Joshua: If that fails it will need service

Preston: but im allergic to marshmallow!

Preston: and my husband is out of town for the week

Joshua: I see

Joshua: When did you did you purchase the unit?

Preston: if i pour water over it will it help clean it?

Preston: i bought it 2-3 weeks ago

Joshua: No, you will damage it even more

Preston: what about some kind of acid

Joshua: Your unit has a one year limited warranty that begins on the date of purchase. This warranty does not cover physical, body, cosmetic, or moisture damages to the unit. Once the unit is received by us the repair time is 5 to 7 business days to receive it back.

Joshua: No, you can put on some gloves and clean it with the cloth in that case

Joshua: and the cloth should be dry

Preston: gloves won"t work either, im allergic to neoprene

Joshua: Kitchen gloves made of fabric

Preston: I"ll try it, if it doesn't work will HCL work?

Joshua: No, if that fails you may contact us again to setup service for the phone

Preston: how much will that cost?

Joshua: We don"t handle price ranges but you would be contacted by the repair man for payment before any repair is done on your phone.

Preston: wait don't you repair them?

Joshua: The phone will need to be inspected first to see if it can be repaired and if so, the technicians will contact you to let you know the cost

Preston: i feel like this is a trap, i send it in and then i pay a ransom

Joshua: Yes, in our repair facility at Fort Worth, TX

Preston: how do i know they won"t charge me 500 bucks?

Joshua: You don't. That depends of inspection and you can decline the repair if you feel the cost is more that are willing to pay

Preston: if i decline they steal my phone though, i don't want my phone stolen

Preston: stealing is against the law

Preston: what if i make my baby clean my phone, like i use his hand to brush at it

Joshua: No, they will return the phone back to you

Preston: no they wont, they always take my stuff

Joshua: No, our facility return the phones

Joshua: Do you have any other question?

Preston: no :( thanks anyways

Joshua: Thank you for your kindness and patience. Hope you have a wonderful day!

Preston: :)

Notice: Joshua has exited the chat session.

Overall Service:
Sticky and Sweet
"Never argue with an idiot. They will only bring you down to their level and beat you with experience." - George Carlin
lannan13
Posts: 23,040
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7/8/2014 3:18:41 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
This should go in the Funny Section. Just sayin'.
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Preston
Posts: 1,113
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7/9/2014 7:43:47 AM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 7/8/2014 3:18:41 PM, lannan13 wrote:
This should go in the Funny Section. Just sayin'.

I thought it was entertaining, but ill see if I can move it :p
"Never argue with an idiot. They will only bring you down to their level and beat you with experience." - George Carlin
Preston
Posts: 1,113
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7/9/2014 7:59:17 AM
Posted: 2 years ago
Round 2:
[Preston] What is your Server Latency?
[Phillip] Hello, my name is Phillip. Welcome to Company Support.
[Phillip] Hi Jamie!
[Preston] Hey
[Phillip] We don't have that information. May I know why?
[Preston] you host the servers for the chat right?
[Phillip] Yes, we do.
[Preston] Latency is sooo important its what determines the speed between the server getting the request and responding, less latency means its faster, so if its less its a better service.
[Preston] we can test it if that's ok with you, as in ill msg you something and you respond
[Phillip] Are you having trouble with your Company App?
[Preston] no I wanted to subscribe
[Phillip] I see.
[Preston] but I wont unless we test the latency of the servers
[Phillip] You may sign up for a free trial for you to evaluate our live chat solution.
[Preston] I'm not interested in free trials, they just steal your money when the time runs out.
[Phillip] No. There's no payment information to get started.
[Phillip] It's all up to you if you would wish to subscribe right after the trial.
[Preston] They always steal my money though
[Phillip] Sorry, but I don't have the information with regards to our server latency.
[Preston] here ill test it with my server latency app, it will be a little off but I need you to respond with something, here ill say ping (Latency command on servers), you say pong as fast as you can
[Preston] ping
[Preston] ping
[Preston] you have to respond
[Preston] pong
[Phillip] Okay.
[Preston] ok start
[Preston] ping
[Phillip] pong
[Preston] ping
[Phillip] pong
[Preston] ping
[Phillip] pong
[Preston] ping
[Phillip] pong
[Preston] ok good
[Preston] wow that's low
[Preston] I am impressed
[Phillip] Is there anything else I can help you with today?
[Preston] nah im good, thanks!
[Phillip] Thank you for your time today. Please do not hesitate to contact us should you need further assistance.
[Phillip] Goodbye and have a great day!

Service:
Ping... Pong....
"Never argue with an idiot. They will only bring you down to their level and beat you with experience." - George Carlin