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DDO Divergent: Episode 3

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1/19/2015 6:58:48 AM
Posted: 3 years ago
Apparently I was pushed back to making my series in the Entertainment forum so... Yeah.


I open my eyes to a ceiling window, having barely enough time to slap my eyelids back shut before I get blinded by the sun.

Restlessly, I roll to the right on my bed. My face goes splat on the dirt-drenched floor.

"Awake yet?"

I scream. No one has ever been in my bedroom before.

"Hi. I'm debatability. I'm also a Nazi, but I'm not Hitler."

I groan.

"Why the f*ck am I still in this place?"

"I knocked you out. It was by accident, because i thought your head was a baseball, but fortunately I was told to do so on the instruction sheet."

I get up and look down at my clothes.

Mikal's clothes.

"gaaaAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! I'm wearing Mikal's clothes!"

"Oh, that's not THAT big of a d-"


I sob violently. Debatability is vomiting violently.

As I look up, I see Mikal's bed behind me. Mikal lays on top of it, asleep in Victoria's Secret underwear. Ants seem to be constructing a village on him.

"Boobies"" he murmurs.

I scream and run away like mad. I open what seems to be the door that led into this room. To my surprise I am staring at a room full of champagne bottles, fallen tables, soon-to-be imabench's zombies, broken lightbulbs and windows, and condoms.

"What the f*ck is this sh*t? TELL ME B*TCH, I WILL NEVER FORGIVE YOU IF YOU DON'T TELL ME!!!!! C*NT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

"Oh, that's where I put you in after I knocked you out. The party was prepared and I fed you that pill that dtaylor features in his fanfic. You partied in an unconscious state, and I assessed you from there!"


"Oh, and your aptitude is...'

I jerk up and wait eagerly for the result.

"CONGRATULATIONS! You're Divergent!"

I feel a slight twinge of disappointment. "What the HELL is Divergent?"

"Oh, you don"t know? It"s basically the president of DDO," debatability says as she attempts to have a peek at"

"Mikal"s camel toe.

Immediately disgusted, I try to focus on the subject. "Are you serious? I can win that any day, and plus, if you"re talking about the other one, there is no president of Dungeons and Dragons Online."

"No, silly," debatability mockingly replies as her pupils slowly transfer and face Mikal"s boobs, "I was completely joking. A Divergent is someone who is of multiple factions at once."

"Oh, that"s nice. Wait" but how many factions am I from?"

"All of them."

I feel a sudden burst of electricity pulse through my body, as if I am an electronic gadget and what I am hearing is powering my system.

But the conversation isn"t done.

"Wait" So doesn"t that mean, if I"m Dauntless, then I"m already basically Divergent since I have the attributes of the four other factions" But as a Divergent of all factions, doesn"t that mean basically I"m double Dauntless, plus another Dauntless"?"

"Pretty much. Now, what to do" Oh yeah, apparently after your results have been given, we are to knock you guys out and lock you in that cabinet until Mikal gets ready and arrives at the city hall. Then, we unlock the door, drag you out one by one, and then we basically make you do the ice bucket challenge while you"re unconscious to wake you up."

Getting splashed with ice water. That must be nice.

"Okay" hit me with it."





Funnily enough, the ice water splash isn"t very abrupt and surprising. As expected, I wake up to the same testing room I was in before, with debatability standing in front of me holding a blue bucket. A few others stand behind her, soaking wet.

"Gee, debatability, I WONDER what a DIFFERENCE it would make IF we HAD some TOWELS," I say, my words laced with sarcasm.

"Oh yeah."

She grabs a huge towel from merely her pocket in her pants. I towel myself first, and the other few towel themselves as debatability collects ice water from the fridge in the party room and dumps it onto the head of more people.

I run out with damp clothes and sprint like wind towards the city hall. As I push the door open, I hear strange chanting growing louder and louder as I pass through hallways leading to the main room.

"------u---sh-------d----my-------bs------you"w-h------u------ad----my-----obs-----you---sh----had----my---oobs--- you wish you had my boobs, you wish you had my boobs, YOU WISH YOU HAD MY BOOBS""

I take a moment to reassure myself that Mikal is only a pervert with female genitals and parts, and silently walk into the room.

"my boobs, you wish you had them, OH YEAH, YOU WISH YOU- Oh god you just came in."


The rest shove the door open and assemble in, some with completely disgusted and perplexed faces, others with normal and indifferent faces, and the rest with smiles and happy faces.

It"s funny how times change"

That"s a quote by Cassie, by the way.

The city hall used to be a huge working airport, and the design was spectacularly executed, with the word luxury slapped on every single area of the airport. Not literally. Now, it is the city hall and we refuse to move out of the city, even though foreigners attempt to drag us out with homemade cherry pie.

Right as the last person is able to squeeze themselves in the room, the microphone screeches violently, as though it were being tortured and terrorized by Al Qaeda.

"Here is what I want to get straight. My boobs think they are in a breastfeeding state, and my vagina is leaking again, so I"ll make this quick.

The factions are:

-Abnegation. If your aptitude is this, you are ugly.

-Amity. If this is your aptitude, you are fashionable.

-Candor. If this is you, you are greedy.

-Erudite. If this is you, you are stupid. My fellow imabench, the one who I SUPPOSEDLY betrayed," Mikal says as he takes a moment to give an annoyed stare at imabench, "likes to poke fun at you the most in the Weekly Stupid. He may also, accordingly, turn you into a zombie and try his best to kill me with your presence.

-Dauntless. If this is you, you want your *ss raped.

Please group yourself into your factions. Abnegation on your left, and Dauntless on your right. Then follow your leaders to your faction"s buildings. Thank you, have a good day, and please refrain from taking long as my vagina is leaking like mad. TOODLES!"

I decide to group myself in Dauntless, as it"s the closest aptitude I have for, according to my results.

"DAUNTLESS! Stay close together, as the walk we are going to take is extremely long. Follow me."
I don't want a lot for Christmas
There is just one thing I need
I don't care about the presents
Underneath the Christmas tree
I just want you for my own
More than you could ever know
Make my wish come true
All I want for Christmas...
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1/21/2015 4:30:02 AM
Posted: 3 years ago
dauntless ftw!
I don't care about whether an ideology is "necessary" or not,
I care about how to solve problems,
which is what everyone else should also care about.

In essence, the world is fucked up and you can either ignore it, become cynical or bitter about it.
Deep down, we're all dumbassses who act like shittheads



P.S. Shipped Sailey before it was cannon bitches.
Posts: 983
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1/21/2015 6:29:56 PM
Posted: 3 years ago
At 1/21/2015 9:33:53 AM, RevNge wrote:
Well, there goes three minutes of my life that I'll never get back.
I don't want a lot for Christmas
There is just one thing I need
I don't care about the presents
Underneath the Christmas tree
I just want you for my own
More than you could ever know
Make my wish come true
All I want for Christmas...