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DDO Heroes - Episode 2: Search Ahead

Jonbonbon
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3/18/2015 12:58:57 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
Episode 1: http://www.debate.org...

Endark walked back to his desk. He was at work for news broadcaster called The Main Forum. His partner, Esocial followed just a minute after he came in. They had a week to find a good story, which isn"t nearly enough time if both people on the job are junior reporters.

"Have you thought of anything good?" Endark asked her.

"I can think of a thousand stories other people have done, but that"s not how we"re going to get recognized as reporters."

"I know." Endark pulled his hair as he stared at his computer screen.

"How do other people get their stories?"

"They have connections. People who call them when they hear about something on the streets. Then they report it immediately."

"Maybe we could try reviewing moveis."

"Social, you know that neither of us will be satisfied with that job."

"Well what do we do? We have to do something."

"I know, we"ll figure something out. Maybe we need to take this to the street and just walk around looking for something to pop up. Or we could use a police scanner to find out where the action is happening."

"That second one isn"t a bad idea."

There was a knock on the door. That was weird. Endark and Esocial hadn"t made many friends at the office. No one ever knocked on their door. Maybe it was their boss coming to tell them how awful they are.

Esocial opened it up and one of the guys from down the hall stood in the doorway. He had a toothy grin on his face as he spoke, "Hey guys, so don"t tell anyone that I told you this, but you need to go to New York University. I just got a call that someone died there. Third degree burns all over his body."

"Why are you telling us this?" Esocial asked with a skeptical look on her face.

"Look, I"m trying to get to the top, and you guys are trying get to where I"m at. One of my contacts just told me this, so I"m giving it to you, because I have a better story I"m working on. This is how you make you connections. You do something for someone. Even if you don"t call in a favor, you have support from them. You guys need to make friends here. You are going to be my new friends. I"ll help you get to where I am, and you help me get to news anchor."

Endark and Esocial exchanged glances. What he said made sense. "I guess we"re going to New York University," Endark said calmly. "Thank you, what was your name?"

"Oh I"m sorry, I never introduced myself. I"m Donald Keller."

"Nice to meet you, I"m Esocial Bookworm and this is Endarkened Rationalist."

"I"ll see you guys later. Remember you need to go right now. I"ll cover for you if you need it."

"Thank you," Endark said very gratefully, but Donald was already walking out the door.

"To the university then?" Esocial chimed as she got her jacket.

"To the university. Let"s go."
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Imabench strode down the halls next to his partner Wylted. They were going to their immediate supervisor to report what they found out. They"d kidnapped a man named Blade of Truth earlier that day. Telepath from what they could tell, which is how he knew they were in the apartment, but he either wasn"t aware of his ability or just didn"t know how to use it.

Wylted was a man who could drain someone"s energy and use it as his own. His eyes always glowed red when he did it, making him look like a true villain, but of course, they weren"t supposed to be the villains. They were supposed to be doing something good for people. Unfortunately, sometimes Wylted went too far and drained the life out of a victim.

Imabench, however, was just a human. Honestly, if he had any special abilities it wouldn"t be fair to the rest of the superhumans, although sometimes he questioned whether or not he really did have something special about him. He was nearly perfect at lying, and he always had a very cunning plan when he went into a situation. Then he had a backup plan for his plan, and a backup plan for the backup plan.

They walked into their manager"s office. "So what did you guys get?" he asked them.

Imabench spoke before Wytled could make some sort of inappropriate joke like he usually did. "We have a man named Blade of Truth in custody. He"s ready to be put back in his apartment. He"s a telepath, but he either doesn"t know how to use his ability or just doesn"t know he has it. We can keep an eye on him, but he"s not a danger. There"s other idiots we need to pay attention to."

"Wylted, you have anything to say about this?" The manager asked out of habit. He had to ask Wylted"s opinion. The rule at the company, Ripple Water, was that the agents were always in pairs. On human and one superhuman. That way it was always fair to the superhumans, since they were the ones being getting sacked.

"It was boring," Wylted said, standing as if he was waiting to be able to get out. "He didn"t put up a fight at all. I say we just bring him back and forget he existed."

"Alright," the manager replied and looked back down at the paper on his desk. "Take him back to his apartment as soon as you have the chance. Until then, make sure he doesn"t wake up. How much memory of this do you think he has?"

"I drained him pretty quickly. If he remembers me, it"ll be like a dream to him."

"Alright, you"re dismissed."

Imabench and Wylted walked out of the room. "Thank you for not saying something inappropriate this time," Imabench remarked as they walked down the hall.

"Yeah, anything for my partner," Wylted responded with an obviously sarcastic voice.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Mishap walked into her house and saw her mom cooking something on the stove. "Hey, honey, how was school?" Her mom greeted her cheerfully.

"It was okay. Just school," Mishap responded. The past couple of days she"d been a little more quiet about herself. She wanted to tell her family about her ability, but she didn"t want to be a freak. She just wanted to be the same normal person that she was three days ago.

"Well, I"m making spaghetti tonight," her mom continued happily. Mishap loved spaghetti, so that did make her a little happier. Maybe it could fill the pit in her stomach.

"Thanks, Mom." Mishap smiled and went for the stairs. She paused and looked at the pot. The pot was a size bigger than she usually used. "That"s a lot of spaghetti."

"Well, Mrs. Smith and Mrs. Lynn are going out on a double date with their husbands tonight. I thought maybe Peters and Emma could come over for dinner, and since it"s Friday they could sleep over if you don"t have any plans for tomorrow."

"That would be nice. I"ll ask them." Mishap gave her mom and smile and went back to her room. Of course, her mom"s love always made her feel better, but now it felt like her mom was loving a disguise. How would she react if she knew what Mishap could do? Would she be amazed or terrified? How would her dad react? They both loved her, but there was no way they would understand who she was.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Emma started walking from her house to Mishap"s. She would probably meet Peters on the way. They all lived in the same neighborhood. Until then she examined the environment she walked in. The evening air was cool, and the moon sat halfway in the sky with the sun halfway out of it. One horizon was glittered with stars, and the other was painted with the deep red, orange, and violet of a sunset. It was a beautiful scene atop the clean suburban neighborhood, where the houses mostly looked the same, and driveways were clear of most things aside from occasional cars.
The Troll Queen.

I'm also the Troll Goddess of Reason. Sacrifices are appreciated but not necessary.

"I'm a vivacious sex fiend," SolonKR.

Go vote on one of my debates. I'm not that smart, so it'll probably be an easy decision.

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Jonbonbon
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3/18/2015 12:59:28 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
Except for one house. There was one house that was something of a mess. A man was attempting to move boxes from a car into his house. The man dropped one of the boxes, and a mess of books spilled out onto the driveway. "Can I help you?" She asked him.

"Oh, yes, thank you," the man said as he bent down to pick things up along with her.

"Are you new here?"

"Yeah, I moved in a couple days ago. This is the rest of the stuff from my last house."

She put the final book in his box and noticed the title, An Exploration of Future Genetics. "You a fan of science?"

"Yeah, I love it. I"m going to be working at a medical research facility around here."

"That"s great." Emma smiled kindly and started walking around to the other side of him so she could say goodbye and keep going to Mishap"s house.

"Yeah, I just graduated college, so this is going to be a great experience."

"Great, well, I have to go. I was on my way over to a friend"s house, and she"s expecting me."

"Oh, well nice meeting you. I"m Vox." Vox stuck out his hand, and Emma shook it.

"I"m Emma." She smiled at him, but when they clasped hands, she immediately felt that his hand was kind of sticky. She refused to make a face, but when they were done she gently brushed her skin to see if anything had stuck.

He apparently noticed and commented, "Sorry about my sticky hands. I just went to eat, and I think my hands got a little sauce on them or something."

"No problem," Emma smiled and turned to walk away. "Bye, neighbor."
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Endark and Esocial stepped onto the campus. Students buzzed around like a confused swarm of gnats. Endark considered the see of students, and he pulled out his notebook so he could be ready to talk to one of them. He glanced at Esocial, who was smiling widely. Endark tried to settle his butterflies, and as soon as he was about to step out to go talk to someone, a young man approached him.

"Hey, you guys look like reporters," he said to them.

"We are," Esocial responded pleasantly. "We were looking for an interview with someone here. We heard there was a murder."

"There was. I was there when it happened."

"Really?" Endark discontinued attempting to settle the butterflies and dove straight into his ambition. "What happened?"

"I was standing on the sidewalk," the young man started, "and I saw someone from one of my classes getting into a fight with someone else. I wasn"t really trying to eavesdrop, but they were screaming. Then the guy from one of my classes got the other guy on the ground, and he lit him on fire."

"You don"t seem very troubled by that scene." Endark had noticed that the whole time Darth didn"t even seem to act like he was acting as if it were a big deal.

"Oh yeah, I"ve seen tons worse before in my old neighborhood. I got over it pretty quickly."

That seemed like a valid explanation, but Endark was a little curious as to why the man seemed so easy about it. So he moved on to the next part of his plan, "Do you think you could help us find this man?"

"Yes, of course."

"I"m Endark by the way, and this is Esocial," Endark said directing his finger respective to whom he was referring.

"Nice to meet you, I"m Darth Kirones," Darth responded with a smile.

Then they followed him to find the murder, although Endark wasn"t sure what the motive was anymore. The whole time it had been for the full story, so he and Esocial could get up in the ranks. Have a picture of the guy and maybe even find police there with him to get interviews from police officers. They"d be one of the first ones to hit the headlines. But now, Endark questioned the sanity of it all. Looking for a murderer. Looking to pressure a killer and hoping he wouldn"t kill again. Really just looking for anything to get the recognition he deserved. Looking for some proper attention. Maybe even looking for adventure. Searching ahead through the fire and fog for the path to lead him to his destiny.
The Troll Queen.

I'm also the Troll Goddess of Reason. Sacrifices are appreciated but not necessary.

"I'm a vivacious sex fiend," SolonKR.

Go vote on one of my debates. I'm not that smart, so it'll probably be an easy decision.

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Beginner
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3/18/2015 1:07:12 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
E.R. knew Darth's name before Darth formally introduced himself.. is that an error or is E.R. secretly a telepath?
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Jonbonbon
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3/18/2015 1:11:36 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 3/18/2015 1:07:12 PM, Beginner wrote:
E.R. knew Darth's name before Darth formally introduced himself.. is that an error or is E.R. secretly a telepath?

Lol oh that was an error. I originally had it that Darth had introduced himself, then I changed it and forgot to change that little thing :P my bad.
The Troll Queen.

I'm also the Troll Goddess of Reason. Sacrifices are appreciated but not necessary.

"I'm a vivacious sex fiend," SolonKR.

Go vote on one of my debates. I'm not that smart, so it'll probably be an easy decision.

Fite me m9

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Beginner
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3/18/2015 1:14:23 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
Edit:
At 3/18/2015 12:59:28 PM, Jonbonbon wrote:
"I"m Endark by the way, and this is Esocial," Endark jabs his finger in Esocial's face, poking the extended digit up her nostrils.
Darth's mouth drops open at the unexpected gesture, but he quickly composes himself "Uhhh, yeah. Nice to meet you both. I'm Darth."
Esocial smiled, Endark's finger still up her nose, and moved to shake hands Darth's hands.
Senpai has noticed you.
Beginner
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3/18/2015 1:16:36 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
Edit to the edit:
At 3/18/2015 1:14:23 PM, Beginner wrote:
Edit:
At 3/18/2015 12:59:28 PM, Jonbonbon wrote:
"I"m Endark by the way, and this is Esocial," Endark jabs his finger in Esocial's face, poking the extended digit up her nostrils.
Darth's mouth drops open at the unexpected gesture, but he quickly composes himself "Uhhh, yeah. Nice to meet you both. I'm Darth."
Esocial smiled, Endark's finger still up her nose, and moved to shake Darth's hands.
Senpai has noticed you.
Jonbonbon
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3/18/2015 1:18:51 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 3/18/2015 1:14:23 PM, Beginner wrote:
Edit:
At 3/18/2015 12:59:28 PM, Jonbonbon wrote:
"I"m Endark by the way, and this is Esocial," Endark jabs his finger in Esocial's face, poking the extended digit up her nostrils.
Darth's mouth drops open at the unexpected gesture, but he quickly composes himself "Uhhh, yeah. Nice to meet you both. I'm Darth."
Esocial smiled, Endark's finger still up her nose, and moved to shake hands Darth's hands.

Lol no, how about not.
The Troll Queen.

I'm also the Troll Goddess of Reason. Sacrifices are appreciated but not necessary.

"I'm a vivacious sex fiend," SolonKR.

Go vote on one of my debates. I'm not that smart, so it'll probably be an easy decision.

Fite me m9

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Beginner
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3/18/2015 1:20:15 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 3/18/2015 1:18:51 PM, Jonbonbon wrote:
At 3/18/2015 1:14:23 PM, Beginner wrote:
Edit:
At 3/18/2015 12:59:28 PM, Jonbonbon wrote:
"I"m Endark by the way, and this is Esocial," Endark jabs his finger in Esocial's face, poking the extended digit up her nostrils.
Darth's mouth drops open at the unexpected gesture, but he quickly composes himself "Uhhh, yeah. Nice to meet you both. I'm Darth."
Esocial smiled, Endark's finger still up her nose, and moved to shake hands Darth's hands.

Lol no, how about not.

Imagine them doing that, then imagine Darth acting like it never happened. LOL XD
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Jonbonbon
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3/18/2015 1:23:14 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 3/18/2015 1:20:15 PM, Beginner wrote:
At 3/18/2015 1:18:51 PM, Jonbonbon wrote:
At 3/18/2015 1:14:23 PM, Beginner wrote:
Edit:
At 3/18/2015 12:59:28 PM, Jonbonbon wrote:
"I"m Endark by the way, and this is Esocial," Endark jabs his finger in Esocial's face, poking the extended digit up her nostrils.
Darth's mouth drops open at the unexpected gesture, but he quickly composes himself "Uhhh, yeah. Nice to meet you both. I'm Darth."
Esocial smiled, Endark's finger still up her nose, and moved to shake hands Darth's hands.

Lol no, how about not.

Imagine them doing that, then imagine Darth acting like it never happened. LOL XD

Lol I did laugh when I read that the second time, because the first time my mind was just like "wtf"
The Troll Queen.

I'm also the Troll Goddess of Reason. Sacrifices are appreciated but not necessary.

"I'm a vivacious sex fiend," SolonKR.

Go vote on one of my debates. I'm not that smart, so it'll probably be an easy decision.

Fite me m9

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3/18/2015 1:48:43 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 3/18/2015 1:23:14 PM, Jonbonbon wrote:
It's the kind of thing that should only be written once in a serious story if at all, otherwise it just takes away the 'wtf'ness of the moment and turns the characters into unlikable idiots. :D
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Jonbonbon
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3/18/2015 1:53:22 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 3/18/2015 1:48:43 PM, Beginner wrote:
At 3/18/2015 1:23:14 PM, Jonbonbon wrote:
It's the kind of thing that should only be written once in a serious story if at all, otherwise it just takes away the 'wtf'ness of the moment and turns the characters into unlikable idiots. :D

Lol well in my opinion, you have to build a specific reputation to be able to write that into a serious story. Like this would have to be halfway into the season in a semi light hearted episode, after everyone already loves the series :P
The Troll Queen.

I'm also the Troll Goddess of Reason. Sacrifices are appreciated but not necessary.

"I'm a vivacious sex fiend," SolonKR.

Go vote on one of my debates. I'm not that smart, so it'll probably be an easy decision.

Fite me m9

http://www.debate.org...
DarthKirones
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3/18/2015 7:27:35 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
This was an excellent episode.

The character development was done perfectly. The specific case I am fond of is Vox. Vox, who at first appears to be a happy new neighbor, but at a second glance seems to be much more, but we don't know what the "more" is, which is an excellent way of building suspense. This was done to all characters, and I love it. Much better than my usual strategy to just plop characters in the story with zero development that is more than a couple sentences.

The story also got me thinking, which is always good in a story. When Mishap was thinking about how her parents would react when they found out she had abilities. While yes, this is one of the more common plot lines, but that is also what makes it so good. Mishapqueen had the true mentality of wanting to be a regular teenager. She has a loving family, trustworthy family and what appears to be overall a good life, but she has these hidden abilities, and she is afraid of ruining her life with revealing them. My point is that it get's you thinking, what would you do if you were in her shoes? That is what stories should do, leave an impact. And you most certainly have.

I have no true words of criticism. All more I can say is for you to keep up the good luck!

-Darth.
"I am not religious. I am a genius. I have the Universe in my hands."
-Aerogant

"Of course a jewish baby cannibalizing a jewish mommy is fine"
-Heil being retarded

"Eradicating the baby scourge from our midsts is most certainly fun. And I am proud to be your hero. Babies tremble then they hear my name.. Airmax, the hero of baby annihilation."
-Airmax
Adam_Godzilla
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3/18/2015 9:02:39 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 3/18/2015 7:27:35 PM, DarthKirones wrote:
This was an excellent episode.

The character development was done perfectly. The specific case I am fond of is Vox. Vox, who at first appears to be a happy new neighbor, but at a second glance seems to be much more, but we don't know what the "more" is, which is an excellent way of building suspense. This was done to all characters, and I love it. Much better than my usual strategy to just plop characters in the story with zero development that is more than a couple sentences.

The story also got me thinking, which is always good in a story. When Mishap was thinking about how her parents would react when they found out she had abilities. While yes, this is one of the more common plot lines, but that is also what makes it so good. Mishapqueen had the true mentality of wanting to be a regular teenager. She has a loving family, trustworthy family and what appears to be overall a good life, but she has these hidden abilities, and she is afraid of ruining her life with revealing them. My point is that it get's you thinking, what would you do if you were in her shoes? That is what stories should do, leave an impact. And you most certainly have.

I have no true words of criticism. All more I can say is for you to keep up the good luck!

-Darth.

Nice job on the feedback!
I do encourage at least one criticism. At least mentioning the least strongest bit on her writing or her episode.

Great feedback, I hope everyone else's is as detailed as this.
New episode of OUTSIDERS: http://www.debate.org...
Episode 4 - They walk among us
Adam_Godzilla
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3/19/2015 8:12:41 AM
Posted: 1 year ago
At first, I felt confused on who was saying what, but I believe this is a technical issue. But I did think that it hindered the story and the pacing. I would trip up on the sentences and then look back a couple paragraphs to make sure I knew who the speakers in the dialogue were.

Your character dialogues are, again, very good. They pack in information and little hints about the characters, who they are and what personality they might have. I felt that Donald was a weird character because he seemed happy about a guy getting third degree burns. But his character was later fleshed out and I began to see that because of his motivation (wanting to become anchor) he didn't care about how terrible the news he's investigating is. it made his character unique and this wouldn't be possible without the dialogue.

This leads to my second point about your writing capabilities. You are obviously talented at showing and telling. You're able to tell us things about the character such as their thoughts, like in the case of Mishap, and then combine that with effective dialogue. I really liked that. The story was fast paced and that gave it more tension.

An example:
""Thanks, Mom." Mishap smiled and went for the stairs. She paused and looked at the pot. The pot was a size bigger than she usually used. "That"s a lot of spaghetti.""

The actions the character took here really flesh out the scene and make it better. This could have been really dry by just having mishap smile and comment on the spaghetti. But little things like "she paused and looked at the pot" and then having the dialogue make your writing enjoyable and descriptive at the same time.

This may be because you didn't need to describe things a lot. Had the character been in strange places other than schools, offices or homes, I would feel lost and unable to be engaged in the story.

The other thing I really liked about this episode was the absolutely the fascinating sci fi superpowers like the one Wylted had about draining someone's energy. I also like the world building you did where superheroes are partnered with non superheroes. I find that really interesting. I do hope we get to see more cool stuff in terms of world building.

I also like the overall intrigue though I can't really evaluate until I've read a couple more episodes.

Some areas for improvement that I would suggest is focusing on character viewpoint. I could tell which character's eyes we were seeing the scene through but the only indicators for me were the descriptions for their thoughts.

For example:
"Esocial opened it up and one of the guys from down the hall stood in the doorway. He had a toothy grin on his face as he spoke..."

I would really like to know her thoughts on this guy. Her immediate impressions. In this sentence, it sounds like mostly narrative.

It's very hard to write in terms of the character viewpoints, even I have trouble doing so. But I feel like it would help this story a lot since you have lots of different POVs and you alternate between them frequently.

Brandon talks more about writing in perspective in one of his lectures:
https://www.youtube.com...

Another thing was over descriptive sentences. Sometimes you would describe an action but make it a complex sentence with words that were not easy to read:

"I"m Endark by the way, and this is Esocial," Endark said directing his finger respective to whom he was referring.

This last bit tripped me up and I had to read it again just to be sure I got the image in my head right. Because of the complexity of the sentence, I wasn't able to instantly get the action in the scene right away. There were other instances of this,

"Yeah, anything for my partner," Wylted responded with an obviously sarcastic voice.

Here the prose felt like it was passive, and I found myself not being able to engage because of it. As a reader, this sentence was too abstract for me to form a concrete imagery. I couldn't imagine Wylted's sarcasm as fully as I wanted to.

To me, I felt the first episode flowed much better than this one, but that's not to say i didn't enjoy this episode at all. I thoroughly enjoyed the character dynamics and conversations. It looks like there's going to be some interesting character development and relationships.

And I did feel the suspense in this story such as with Vox and his mysteriously sticky hands. And I was very intrigued with Endark and Annie's occupation and their day to day activities. They felt very proactive instead of just passive characters. And I enjoyed that.

Overall, a great episode and I'm excited to see where this story is going next.

Looking forward to the next episode! ^^
New episode of OUTSIDERS: http://www.debate.org...
Episode 4 - They walk among us
donald.keller
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3/19/2015 11:07:16 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
So why am I always the scheming type who uses people to make personal gains..? XD
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3/19/2015 11:24:26 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 3/19/2015 8:12:41 AM, Adam_Godzilla wrote:
An example:
""Thanks, Mom." Mishap smiled and went for the stairs. She paused and looked at the pot. The pot was a size bigger than she usually used. "That"s a lot of spaghetti.""

The actions the character took here really flesh out the scene and make it better. This could have been really dry by just having mishap smile and comment on the spaghetti. But little things like "she paused and looked at the pot" and then having the dialogue make your writing enjoyable and descriptive at the same time.
Sometimes these can get tedious. Too many of these may leave the reader bored and tapping a finger waiting for the story to get to the point. There's also the fact that almost no single character every has the urge to use the restroom. Ever, which detracts the realism for me the further I go into a story sometimes, especially when we get an extended scene with the character that lasts a long time.

I also like the overall intrigue though I can't really evaluate until I've read a couple more episodes.
Leaving the reader in the dark is a great storytelling technique, leaves them hungering for the knowledge. It's why stories that make allusive mention to "ancient pasts" and "hidden powers" can be such a thrill.

Some areas for improvement that I would suggest is focusing on character viewpoint. I could tell which character's eyes we were seeing the scene through but the only indicators for me were the descriptions for their thoughts.
Agreed. The character's thoughts can sometimes be needed to give insight and can be used to attach people to characters.

For example:
"Esocial opened it up and one of the guys from down the hall stood in the doorway. He had a toothy grin on his face as he spoke..."

I would really like to know her thoughts on this guy. Her immediate impressions. In this sentence, it sounds like mostly narrative.
Like someone else seeing it all from a 3rd person point of view.. like watching TV right? :D
Yeah.. written stories have the advantage of explicitly portraying thoughts or describing precise expressions, which is nifty as hell.

Another thing was over descriptive sentences. Sometimes you would describe an action but make it a complex sentence with words that were not easy to read:

"I"m Endark by the way, and this is Esocial," Endark said directing his finger respective to whom he was referring.
I simply imagined reading "Endark jabbed is finger at Esocial", and then the image of him doing it up her nose just kind of floated in to my head.

This last bit tripped me up and I had to read it again just to be sure I got the image in my head right.
Same.
Because of the complexity of the sentence, I wasn't able to instantly get the action in the scene right away. There were other instances of this,

"Yeah, anything for my partner," Wylted responded with an obviously sarcastic voice.

Here the prose felt like it was passive, and I found myself not being able to engage because of it. As a reader, this sentence was too abstract for me to form a concrete imagery. I couldn't imagine Wylted's sarcasm as fully as I wanted to.

To me, I felt the first episode flowed much better than this one, but that's not to say i didn't enjoy this episode at all. I thoroughly enjoyed the character dynamics and conversations. It looks like there's going to be some interesting character development and relationships.

And I did feel the suspense in this story such as with Vox and his mysteriously sticky hands. And I was very intrigued with Endark and Annie's occupation and their day to day activities. They felt very proactive instead of just passive characters. And I enjoyed that.
Me too. :)

Overall, a great episode and I'm excited to see where this story is going next.

Looking forward to the next episode! ^^
^^
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Jonbonbon
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3/20/2015 7:58:40 AM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 3/19/2015 11:07:16 PM, donald.keller wrote:
So why am I always the scheming type who uses people to make personal gains..? XD

I guess you're just that kind of a guy ;P
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