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A Game of DDO Season 2: Chapter 6 - "Fire"

Adam_Godzilla
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4/14/2015 5:32:01 AM
Posted: 1 year ago
I have abused the correct usages of asterisks.

Forgive me.

Chapter 6

A decade ago in *****, east of the world, outside Debateros.

"Brother. Are we there yet?" Asked Dominic. He had a chubby face, his head was covered with a cheap peasants hood. Black in colour. On his face he wore a peculiar thing made of glass. It fixated on the bridge of his nose, protecting his eyes.

"Yes. We're almost there." His brother Ryan replied. He wore a similar cloak, hood left open. His hair was tousled. Black hair strewn about. He had a young man's face. Close to adulthood.

"How much longer?" Dominic complained. They were climbing a steep hill. The loose rocks and slippery pebbles made it difficult to climb. But they were almost there. High up in the air, touching the clouds, they could see the top of Nightingale's Descent.

"Not much." His brother replied. When they reached the top, huffing and panting, his brother took out the metallic object. It was a gauntlet that was strangely green, made of what metal, Ryan did not know. There were strange tiny red strings weaving in and out of the surface. Some were all connected to one area, one small compartment or box. But all of this, one could only see upon scrutiny.

Ryan wore the glove on his hand. The green metal" or thing, flexed to his will. It was fascintating to watch. Ryan saw a little round bead of glass light up with a yellow colour. He knew he could use it now.

"What a beautiful sight brother..." Dominic stammered, breathless as he took in the view. On top of the world. Literally on top. The countries below were visible in all its majesty. There were no clouds here, so high up. And the air was thinner than any mountain Dominic had ever climbed.

"Look! I think that's the country of Debateros!" Dominic shrieked as he pointed to one massive land to his right. On the world, it would be in the west. Debateros was massive compared to the other lands. It was shaped like a sideways crescent moon. Elongated near the top to look triangular. "Those green luscious trees... And - and those dark areas of deserts! Brother, look at the oceans. So blue and so deep."

He studied all this, mumbling to himself. Hurriedly, he took out the piece of metal from his leather pouch. He held the thing with his right hand. It was a rectangular shiny metal box, the size of a brick. And it had a round piece of glass stuck in the middle. He aimed it towards the countries below him.

He clicked a small button on the top of the brick. A sound came out like a creature squawking.

"Having fun with your toy brother?" Ryan asked. Sitting cross legged on the edge of the cliff. He looked wise despite his facial features. A large shadow was cast behind him. Dark and broody.

"Very much so brother." Dominic said, smiling. He was examining the brick, the Eyeball he called it, on his hand. Whatever he saw on its back surface, it made him glee like a child. He stopped moving and sat down next to his brother.

"Is it starting?" He asked Ryan. Ryan didn't reply. Instead he lifted his hand, his gauntlet, toward the realms below. The green metal seemed to wobble with excitement. It spat out blue crackles of energy in small quantities. Dominic watched in silent awe.

The thing stopped juddering.

"Are you ready brother?" Ryan asked. He was staring at the hundred thousand foot drop.

"Yes." The entire world was reflected on the round glasses of his eyewear. "I'm ready." Ryan smiled. He held Dominic's hand.

And then they jumped.

______________________________________________________

Nine years ago.

"Adamus. Eat your food."

Adam groaned in reply. He twiddled the lettuces on the plate lazily.

"I'm not hungry," Adam said.

"*Sigh* Fine. Do you want to hear a story instead?"

Adam looked up from the plate. His father sat opposite, eating his own stew. The cabin they were in was warm, the wooden planks underneath Adam's feet were warm. An underground stream ran beneath the ground.

Adam nodded eagerly at his father. "Yes please father!"

His father laughed slightly, shaking his head. He had a black beard and soft brown eyes. His head was covered with a farmer's hat. A woollen cap. But he wore rich clothing, a leather tunic with small diamonds attached everywhere. He was buff as well. Thick muscles showed his hard work at the fields.

"Have I told you about King Daltonia?" His father said. "The foreign man who conquered Debateros almost a thousand years ago in the age of Daltonia?"

Adam shook his head. He leaned foward to listen.

"Once upon a time, King Daltonia came to the shores of Daltonia's bay. He came in a ship so large, you could fit ten Yigrots in it, and their slimy tentacles would still bulge out of the cracks. When he came, he came with men. Not just the wimpy little lads that don't eat nothing" He jabbed a fork at Adam's direction. "But strong men. Men who could fight and kill and eat anything. Rats, bats, and even Hungerwolves if they wanted to. Then -"

"Dad, wasn't it Hunger wolvens? Not Hungerwolves?" His father shook his head, lips almost smiling.

"Yes, you be right boy. Anyway." He eyed at Adam cautiously, smiling even more. "He came with these tough men. He came, arrogant as a c*ck, thinking the land would be his. To record, ain't no one knows from which land this King came from. He just arrived and whoosh." He made a motion with his hands. "Just conquered this land easy."

"But it wasn't that simple," Adam replied coolly, tasting one of the green salads. Just one. "When King Daltonia came. There were the native people. The Apaxis."

His dad belched out a laughter. "My boy, you're too smart for yer own good."

Adam grinned shyly. "I like to read."

"Well I hope those books teach yer how to be a farmer. Yes, there were the Apaxis. Or Abacxis as them Soots liked to call themselves. They retaliated against the King. So, of course, they get slaughtered in return. And his son, Prince Daltonia the first, saw what cruel sh*t his father was doing to the Soot men and he tried to stop his father. Do you know what happened next?"

Adam shook his head. "What?"

Father scratched his scraggly beard. He spoke in a hushed tone. "He lynched his son. Put the poor chap on a stake and burned him."

"I thought his son challenged his dad through a trial by combat to free the Apaxis. But he lost and got killed." Adam inquired. Finishing up the last bits of his salad.

"And I thought you didn't know what happened." Father grunted.

Adam grinned in reply. "Nobody really knows what happened. All the evidence gathered were myths, legends and rumours by those who worked with the King."

Adam's father roared in laughter. Through tears, he said, "Sometimes I wonder why I even bother."

As the two laughed together, a knock came at the door to Adam"s right.

"Are you there Garner? Open the door." A voice called out, muffled by the thick door. Adam"s father stood up and walked over. He unbolted the peekhole. A pair of blue eyes came up through the rectangular slit.

"What do you want?" Father asked, annoyed. "If this is about my debt to the council then you all can kiss my arse! I'll pay yar when I bloody can."

Adam knew what he had to do at times like this. He crouched down under the table, puling the chair in to conceal himself.

"Open up Garner!" The voice shouted again. "This isn't about the debt. This is about last night."

"I told you already, it wasn't me. Now go away!" Father shouted back. He slid an extra bolt lock on the door.

There were more bangs, Adam could hear men crashing into the door. Putting their whole weight into it. He was scared.

"Fine. Have it your way Garner." The voice said. "Men. light the place up!"
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Adam_Godzilla
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4/14/2015 5:37:35 AM
Posted: 1 year ago
Father's eyes went wide. "Don't you dare-"

"It's too late. If you aren't coming out of your will then I'll just have to get rid of you Garner." The voice was unsympathetic. There were sounds of men running around the house and a certain sloshing sound like water being thrown at the walls.

Or oil.

Adam quickly searched for the handle on the floor. It had to be here somewhere. There. Adam grabbed the latch and pulled. A section of the floor was lifted. Below, Adam could see an opening and solid soil below. He shouted to his father.

"Father! We have to get out of here!" But his father shook his head at Adam.

"No. You go ahead of me."

Could it be? Adam looked down once more and saw it, a flood. Water rushed up and down parts of the underground floor. There were only small areas of dry soil.

Which meant he couldn't take Father with him.

"Father! You can go. I'll stay behind." Adam said with tears in his eyes. He looked up to see his father looming over him.

"Don't be a f*cking twit Adamus." His father said. And he pushed Adam through. He fell and landed on the dry soil. Adam looked up and saw Father's sad face. They stared in silence. Adam felt his love, his urgency, his trust, and his regret. Then nodding, Adam pulled away from his father"s eyes and began to crawl across the floor, his head kept low because of the ceiling or rather the floor of the house.

Goodbye Father.

Adam cried as he crawled slowly. Mud stuck to his pants and his hands dug deep into the wet soil. From around, he smelled smoke and coughed. A sizzling sound came from above.

He stared at an open clearing in front of him, a small source of light. It was far.

Adam pushed against the mud, straining every bit of his muscle. He tried not to swallow the running water pushing against him . But he was smaller than his parents which meant he could crawl quicker through the mud. He could now see that the light came from another trapdoor. When he finally reached it, the door was already opened and he propped himself up onto the floor above.

The shed he was in was stock full of supplies. A farmer's rake. A broomstick. Some shovels. Adam staggered toward the door, pushing it open. He coughed as sunlight shone in his face. When his eyes adjusted, he could see the beautiful hills. The crop fields.

And the house.

Burning. The flames rose into the sky. The roof had been destroyed, collapsed. And Adam's father and mother were likely dead. The smoke was a dark cloud that would soon bring rain upon the fields and the crops.

Adam stared.

And stared.

And then he cried. Once more. Until he was aching in his chest. He went to the corner of the shed and crouched down, hugging his knees. The supplies and sticks around him became his only comfort. His only company.

He was scared. And alone.
____________________________________________________

Next time on A Game of DDO: "Recruitment"

_____________________________________________________

Dictionary of Debateros. An exploration of the terms used between 500-1500 A.D (Age of Daltonia)

Yigrot
/Yeegrot/

Noun. Plural: Yigrots

1. A sea-creature with two hundred teethes sticking out from it's belly. It has fins shaped like a bat's and could swim more than five knots a second. The large headed creatures used to live in the fresh bays of Daltonia. Humans have since drove them off to other seas. Some have taken residence in the Keynes river and the oceans to the north-east. They could grow to about a twenty feet and usually died at the age of five years. Yigrots are sometimes hunted for it's hard teeth and highly heat absorbent skin.

Nightingale's Descent
/Naihtingel's Disent/

Noun. Place.

1. None know much about this ancient mountain. It is said that you could see the entire world from it's top. However, there are no historical accounts of successful climbs. It's location on the map is sometimes changed as many believed only 'prophets' or 'saints' deserved to go to this sacred place. Eastern mythology often claim that even gods did not touch the mountain. And that it was one of the 'first' lands to exist before the creation of the Earth.
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Adam_Godzilla
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4/14/2015 5:43:54 AM
Posted: 1 year ago
Some Q&A:

What do you think about Lord Garner as a character?

Anything you'd like to see in the next chapters?

Out of ten, how much did you enjoy this chapter?

A/N: I've added a lot of stuff that got cut out once again cause it didn't further the plot. I might add them as bonus chapters though. I didn't want to QA you guys like Donald because I never did in season 1, but now I'd really like some feedback as we are getting closer to the main heart (the plot) of the story.
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DarthKirones
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4/14/2015 8:56:59 AM
Posted: 1 year ago
As always, excellent. I will respond after school.
"I am not religious. I am a genius. I have the Universe in my hands."
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"Of course a jewish baby cannibalizing a jewish mommy is fine"
-Heil being retarded

"Eradicating the baby scourge from our midsts is most certainly fun. And I am proud to be your hero. Babies tremble then they hear my name.. Airmax, the hero of baby annihilation."
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Adam_Godzilla
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4/14/2015 6:58:48 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 4/14/2015 8:56:59 AM, DarthKirones wrote:
As always, excellent. I will respond after school.

Thanks! Glad you enjoyed it. Looking forward to the response.
New episode of OUTSIDERS: http://www.debate.org...
Episode 4 - They walk among us
mishapqueen
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4/14/2015 9:23:39 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 4/14/2015 5:43:54 AM, Adam_Godzilla wrote:
Some Q&A:

What do you think about Lord Garner as a character?
I liked him

Anything you'd like to see in the next chapters?
I dunno

Out of ten, how much did you enjoy this chapter?

I can't say it was my most favorite, but it was quite interesting and intriguing. Background is always interesting, but I'm not sure how this all ties in yet. I'm looking forward to understanding that more later.

A/N: I've added a lot of stuff that got cut out once again cause it didn't further the plot. I might add them as bonus chapters though. I didn't want to QA you guys like Donald because I never did in season 1, but now I'd really like some feedback as we are getting closer to the main heart (the plot) of the story.
You cannot choose whether or not you will live by rules, but you can choose which rules you will live by. --Me

"I was wrong. Squirrels are objectively superior to bunnies in every conceivable dimension."
--Joey

"Silence is golden, duct tape is silver" --PetersSmith

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Adam_Godzilla
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4/14/2015 9:45:34 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 4/14/2015 9:23:39 PM, mishapqueen wrote:
At 4/14/2015 5:43:54 AM, Adam_Godzilla wrote:
Some Q&A:

What do you think about Lord Garner as a character?
I liked him
X) I included a mom, but I cut her out for story purposes.

Anything you'd like to see in the next chapters?
I dunno
Aaanything? Maybe in general?

Out of ten, how much did you enjoy this chapter?

I can't say it was my most favorite, but it was quite interesting and intriguing. Background is always interesting, but I'm not sure how this all ties in yet. I'm looking forward to understanding that more later.

I see. Yes. We still haven't gotten to the heart of the story (next chapter we will) but right now it's sort of preparing the readers and allowing them to understand the characters. I wonder if you are interested in reading more about Queen Gina? She's on an emotional roller coaster right now. Even I'm not sure what exactly will happen to her. I just follow my guts.

I wonder, what I could improve? I'm open to any feedback and am very susceptible to advice.

A/N: I've added a lot of stuff that got cut out once again cause it didn't further the plot. I might add them as bonus chapters though. I didn't want to QA you guys like Donald because I never did in season 1, but now I'd really like some feedback as we are getting closer to the main heart (the plot) of the story.

Thanks for the feedback!
New episode of OUTSIDERS: http://www.debate.org...
Episode 4 - They walk among us
mishapqueen
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4/14/2015 9:47:11 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 4/14/2015 9:45:34 PM, Adam_Godzilla wrote:
At 4/14/2015 9:23:39 PM, mishapqueen wrote:
At 4/14/2015 5:43:54 AM, Adam_Godzilla wrote:
Some Q&A:

What do you think about Lord Garner as a character?
I liked him
X) I included a mom, but I cut her out for story purposes.
Aww

Anything you'd like to see in the next chapters?
I dunno
Aaanything? Maybe in general?
My brain is too tired. XD

Out of ten, how much did you enjoy this chapter?

I can't say it was my most favorite, but it was quite interesting and intriguing. Background is always interesting, but I'm not sure how this all ties in yet. I'm looking forward to understanding that more later.

I see. Yes. We still haven't gotten to the heart of the story (next chapter we will) but right now it's sort of preparing the readers and allowing them to understand the characters. I wonder if you are interested in reading more about Queen Gina? She's on an emotional roller coaster right now. Even I'm not sure what exactly will happen to her. I just follow my guts.

Fair enough. I'd love to hear more about my character, but I'm not sure if that's just my ego talking, lol. XD

I wonder, what I could improve? I'm open to any feedback and am very susceptible to advice.

A/N: I've added a lot of stuff that got cut out once again cause it didn't further the plot. I might add them as bonus chapters though. I didn't want to QA you guys like Donald because I never did in season 1, but now I'd really like some feedback as we are getting closer to the main heart (the plot) of the story.

Thanks for the feedback!
You cannot choose whether or not you will live by rules, but you can choose which rules you will live by. --Me

"I was wrong. Squirrels are objectively superior to bunnies in every conceivable dimension."
--Joey

"Silence is golden, duct tape is silver" --PetersSmith

Nunc aut Numquam
Adam_Godzilla
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4/14/2015 9:49:58 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 4/14/2015 9:47:11 PM, mishapqueen wrote:
At 4/14/2015 9:45:34 PM, Adam_Godzilla wrote:
At 4/14/2015 9:23:39 PM, mishapqueen wrote:
At 4/14/2015 5:43:54 AM, Adam_Godzilla wrote:
Some Q&A:

What do you think about Lord Garner as a character?
I liked him
X) I included a mom, but I cut her out for story purposes.
Aww

Anything you'd like to see in the next chapters?
I dunno
Aaanything? Maybe in general?
My brain is too tired. XD
Lol, gotcha. Maybe next time then.

Out of ten, how much did you enjoy this chapter?

I can't say it was my most favorite, but it was quite interesting and intriguing. Background is always interesting, but I'm not sure how this all ties in yet. I'm looking forward to understanding that more later.

I see. Yes. We still haven't gotten to the heart of the story (next chapter we will) but right now it's sort of preparing the readers and allowing them to understand the characters. I wonder if you are interested in reading more about Queen Gina? She's on an emotional roller coaster right now. Even I'm not sure what exactly will happen to her. I just follow my guts.

Fair enough. I'd love to hear more about my character, but I'm not sure if that's just my ego talking, lol. XD
Alright then XD

I wonder, what I could improve? I'm open to any feedback and am very susceptible to advice.

A/N: I've added a lot of stuff that got cut out once again cause it didn't further the plot. I might add them as bonus chapters though. I didn't want to QA you guys like Donald because I never did in season 1, but now I'd really like some feedback as we are getting closer to the main heart (the plot) of the story.

Thanks for the feedback!
New episode of OUTSIDERS: http://www.debate.org...
Episode 4 - They walk among us
mishapqueen
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4/14/2015 9:50:51 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 4/14/2015 9:49:58 PM, Adam_Godzilla wrote:
At 4/14/2015 9:47:11 PM, mishapqueen wrote:
At 4/14/2015 9:45:34 PM, Adam_Godzilla wrote:
At 4/14/2015 9:23:39 PM, mishapqueen wrote:
At 4/14/2015 5:43:54 AM, Adam_Godzilla wrote:
Some Q&A:

What do you think about Lord Garner as a character?
I liked him
X) I included a mom, but I cut her out for story purposes.
Aww

Anything you'd like to see in the next chapters?
I dunno
Aaanything? Maybe in general?
My brain is too tired. XD
Lol, gotcha. Maybe next time then.
Yeah, I'll be thinking about it.

Out of ten, how much did you enjoy this chapter?

I can't say it was my most favorite, but it was quite interesting and intriguing. Background is always interesting, but I'm not sure how this all ties in yet. I'm looking forward to understanding that more later.

I see. Yes. We still haven't gotten to the heart of the story (next chapter we will) but right now it's sort of preparing the readers and allowing them to understand the characters. I wonder if you are interested in reading more about Queen Gina? She's on an emotional roller coaster right now. Even I'm not sure what exactly will happen to her. I just follow my guts.

Fair enough. I'd love to hear more about my character, but I'm not sure if that's just my ego talking, lol. XD
Alright then XD
XD

I wonder, what I could improve? I'm open to any feedback and am very susceptible to advice.

A/N: I've added a lot of stuff that got cut out once again cause it didn't further the plot. I might add them as bonus chapters though. I didn't want to QA you guys like Donald because I never did in season 1, but now I'd really like some feedback as we are getting closer to the main heart (the plot) of the story.

Thanks for the feedback!
You cannot choose whether or not you will live by rules, but you can choose which rules you will live by. --Me

"I was wrong. Squirrels are objectively superior to bunnies in every conceivable dimension."
--Joey

"Silence is golden, duct tape is silver" --PetersSmith

Nunc aut Numquam
Adam_Godzilla
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4/14/2015 10:02:12 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
Beginner and Petersmith's characters will be introduced this weekend! I will try to upload it by this saturday.

Can't wait for "Recruitment" !
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donald.keller
Posts: 3,709
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4/15/2015 5:20:27 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 4/14/2015 5:43:54 AM, Adam_Godzilla wrote:
Some Q&A:

What do you think about Lord Garner as a character?

I think he makes a good father, but I don't understand why he couldn't fit also.

Anything you'd like to see in the next chapters?

I'll leave that up to you.

Out of ten, how much did you enjoy this chapter?


7.5 out of ten.

A/N: I've added a lot of stuff that got cut out once again cause it didn't further the plot. I might add them as bonus chapters though. I didn't want to QA you guys like Donald because I never did in season 1, but now I'd really like some feedback as we are getting closer to the main heart (the plot) of the story.

I was actually about to ask if I inspired that lol.

FEEDBACK:

The chapter seemed weird to me in that it didn't seem to have much of a back bone. It started with the two boys, and moved to a past event. There was no theme or focus... Not specific plot. Perhaps it was something I missed, but I feel it could have used a more centralized purpose.

Other than that, the detailing was fantastic. Your means of describing things is outstanding. Another thing you did great was setting up mysterious around the box.

I'll wait to read the next chapter. Hope it's soon.
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Adam_Godzilla
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4/15/2015 6:04:41 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 4/15/2015 5:20:27 PM, donald.keller wrote:
At 4/14/2015 5:43:54 AM, Adam_Godzilla wrote:
Some Q&A:

What do you think about Lord Garner as a character?

I think he makes a good father, but I don't understand why he couldn't fit also.

I see. I may need to fix that later, thank you.

Anything you'd like to see in the next chapters?

I'll leave that up to you.

Alright then.

Out of ten, how much did you enjoy this chapter?


7.5 out of ten.
How may I achieve a higher rating?

A/N: I've added a lot of stuff that got cut out once again cause it didn't further the plot. I might add them as bonus chapters though. I didn't want to QA you guys like Donald because I never did in season 1, but now I'd really like some feedback as we are getting closer to the main heart (the plot) of the story.

I was actually about to ask if I inspired that lol.

Lol yes.
FEEDBACK:

The chapter seemed weird to me in that it didn't seem to have much of a back bone. It started with the two boys, and moved to a past event. There was no theme or focus... Not specific plot. Perhaps it was something I missed, but I feel it could have used a more centralized purpose.

Thank you, I will take note of that. I was deviating from the plotline in this chapter but I see that it wasn't as effective ad I thought.
Other than that, the detailing was fantastic. Your means of describing things is outstanding. Another thing you did great was setting up mysterious around the box.

Awesome X)
I'll wait to read the next chapter. Hope it's soon.
Thanks man. Your feedback was incredibly helpful. I absorbed everything. I'm looking forward to more! XD
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EndarkenedRationalist
Posts: 14,201
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4/20/2015 12:08:13 AM
Posted: 1 year ago
My reaction was mostly a lot of confusion. I don't believe I've seen many of these characters before, and the ones who had ongoing plots seem to have disappeared entirely. I did enjoy getting some Adamus backstory, since he's a good character, although I don't really understand why his parents couldn't escape as well. That wasn't especially clear. It was sad, though, considering what we know of Adam. The episode also didn't feel particularly urgent to me, probably because it was not only set entirely in the past, but also because the tonal shifts between the two sections were just...strange. The first one was neutral, so I can't even say they conflict. I just didn't know how to feel about it. Basically, I agree with the A/N
Adam_Godzilla
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4/20/2015 12:48:58 AM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 4/20/2015 12:08:13 AM, EndarkenedRationalist wrote:
My reaction was mostly a lot of confusion. I don't believe I've seen many of these characters before, and the ones who had ongoing plots seem to have disappeared entirely. I did enjoy getting some Adamus backstory, since he's a good character, although I don't really understand why his parents couldn't escape as well. That wasn't especially clear. It was sad, though, considering what we know of Adam. The episode also didn't feel particularly urgent to me, probably because it was not only set entirely in the past, but also because the tonal shifts between the two sections were just...strange. The first one was neutral, so I can't even say they conflict. I just didn't know how to feel about it. Basically, I agree with the A/N

Yes, this seems to be the common problem of this chapter. I added it because I couldn't fit it anywhere else. Now I see I should have thought about the structure a little more hmm..

I'll be careful not to introduce too many characters. This chapter diverges off the plot and I understand that can feel pointless. I'll remember that next time.

Thanks for the feedback.
New episode of OUTSIDERS: http://www.debate.org...
Episode 4 - They walk among us