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AGOD: S2: Chapters 7/8 "Recruitment"

Adam_Godzilla
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4/18/2015 7:00:20 AM
Posted: 1 year ago
Last time on A Game of DDO;

Adam helps Jibber get a trial by combat to earn his freedom, and Lord Altar, his challenger, accepts. Lord Altar face off in an epic battle whereby Jibber shows immense speed and strength, almost killing Lord Altar. At the last second, Lord Altar lashes out, catching Jibber and then hammering him with bloody blows.

The fight ends when Queen Gina or the Mishappen Queen, appears in the arena. Lord Altar is forced to surrender and Jibber wins.

But he's slowly dying.

His nose is squashed, his head is bleeding, his cheeks are swollen with bruises. Adam and Romani need help fast if they want him on the search squad. Or otherwise, they might say goodbye to the young talented squire forever...

===========================================================================================

Chapter 7

The oakdoor rattled violently. Something banged on it. And then again. The old dwarf, a minature man with orange wild hair and crooked broken glasses, looked up fyrom his study desk. He put away all the scripts, diagrams of uncomprehensible items, and a map of an old ancient world, and put them all to one side.

He leapt out from his high chair, dropping to the floor with a soft thump.

"Who is it?" He yelled. He had a juvenile voice, tinged with an adult rasp. No, he was not fond of it.

The door rattle again. Then nothing. All was quiet.

"Well then-"

The door burst opened, swinging open like a forceful wind. There, standing in the doorway, was Romani. He had a child, no, a teen, hefted on his shoulder. Blood soaked deep from both their clothing, dripping on the floor. From behind, in the background of the thunderous rain and storm, was an unfamiliar face. A young man with tousled black hair, jet blue eyes.

"Alchemeister. I need you to examine this boy." Stormborn Romani demanded, his voice exasperated and wheezing. The Stormborn walked towards a wooden gurney and laid the boy gently. His face was beyond unrecognizable. Blood oozed out of black bruises from the places near the eyes, the nose and the lips.

"I can't see..." The boy moaned, surprising the dwarf. The dwarf walked up to him and examined his body, picking up an arm, then a leg, pushing his fingers into several random areas. Typical procedures for a psuedo-doctor.

"If I may ask, as I feel compelled. What... happened to him?" The dwarf asked, polite as always. Romani stared at him with deep black eyes.

"He was in a trial by combat-" Romani gulped. "His opponent beat him pretty bad. Might not even live."

The dwarf heard the young man beside Romani whimper, as if holding back tears. Understandable, it's not everyday someone dies, the dwarf thought.

"Why..." The dwarf trailed off. He wanted to ask why the opponent let the boy live. But he didn't want to push it. "I'll see what I can do." He added, with a stern nod, acting serious. But he doubted himself. As always.

Romani nodded in return, his eyes looked even more worried this time. "I'll be back." Then the Stormborn left, leather boots stomping on the polished floor.

The dwarf turned to look at the young man as the door swung shut. "Busy day hmm?" He said, trying to lighten the mood. Feeling awkward, he added, "I am sorry about your" friend."

The young man nodded, but still stared at the scrambled face of his friend. Then he turned to look at the dwarf. "You can fix him? Heal him?"

The dwarf smiled crookedly. "No guarantees. I can see why Stormborn Romani brought him here. No doctor in the palace can help him. A beating this... bad... he'll only have hours to live. That"s only if i can stop the internal bleeding."

"He's bleeding internally? In his head?"

"Yes. There's no way he wouldn't." At this, the young man was wide eyed. He panicked, hands fumbling for the gurney's siderail.

"Do- Do something then! Stop the bleeding." The dwarf couldn't tell if he was angry, worried, upset. Emotions were hard to read. As always.

The dwarf smiled apologetically, bowed his head, and shuffled to a rack beside his desk. He took one round bottom flask from the rows of potions on the top ledge. He swivelled the contents. A green liquid sank beneath white liquid. He took an empty flask and distilled the contents. He could hear the young man saying encouragements to the patient. Things like 'Don't die. You can make it. It's all going to be okay.'

The dwarf didn't understand why the young man would lie. He had thought honesty to be a better comforter.

"It's done." The dwarf said, stirring the contents inside the flask. The green had turned darker and murkier. He walked over towards the gurney as fast as his legs could take him, careful not to spill.

"What's that going to do?" The man asked, puzzled and alarmed.

"It will stop the bleeding... Hopefully. From my research, this substance soaks into the blood vessels surrounding the skull, and hardens the punctures in those vessels. It will stop the bleeding and the blood will wash away naturally." The dwarf replied, a little bit more confident this time. He tried to lift the flask, but couldn't get above the boy's head.

"Do you mind?" He offered the flask to the young man. He took it graciously.

"So... I just let him drink it?"

"Dear gods no! That would kill him... I think. Slowly pour it over his bruises, don't let any get into his mouth, his ears, or his eyes."

The young man's hands were shaking. But he steadied himself, frowning in concentration. He poured drops of the viscous liquid onto the largest, ugliest bruises. The liquid made a singe sound like cold water on hot iron. He continued pouring drops near the boy"s eyebrows. At his cheeks. The chin.

The liquid slowly dissolved, soaking into the bruises, getting under the skin. The boy moaned in pain. Then he moaned louder. Until he was shouting, screaming as the liquid fully flooded his head.

"Jibber, hold still please!" The young man cried out. The boy, Jibber, was trashing with his hands, grabbing the young man's shirt. The howling went on for fifteen seconds.

The dwarf watched with observant eyes. Pain was interesting to watch. The body could heal. The body could improve. So why does the body need pain? Pain only hinders and weakens.

Then, Jibber relaxed. His shoulders slumped and his hand let go of the young man's shirt.

He was unconscious.

The dwarf took a chair and hefted it towards the gurney. Then he climbed on top, sat very still, and watched the boy. The young man took a chair from a corner and sat down opposite the dwarf. It looked as if he would cry again.

The two of them waited in the dark, dim room. The candles created shadows of the small dwarf and the tall man. The shadows reminded the dwarf of his father, who was back in their country. Presumably still hunched over, trying to disprove the theory of gravity, writing equations that not only didn't make sense, but were laughable.

Minutes went by, and the boy showed no improvement. The dwarf was beginning to worry he would end up like his father. A pseudo doctor with no legitimate prowess.

"Thank you."

The dwarf looked up at the man, startled.

"Even if this doesn't work, thank you for trying." The young man told him.

The dwarf stared at his eyes, they were glinting with deep gratitude. Interesting. This was the first time the dwarf wasn't laughed at, ridiculed, or insulted for his medical practices.

"You are very welcome. Although the rate of success is fifty-fifty for these kinds of things." The dwarf replied, smiling again. The young man didn't return the smile. He looked horrified.

They didn't say anything for a while.

"Well, bloody hells." the man muttered. "My name is Adamus Snow. You can call me Adam. You?" He extended his hand towards the dwarf, his arm above Jibber. The dwarf took it, smiling even more.

"Osho. My name is Osho. Alchemeister Osho at your service."

====
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Adam_Godzilla
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4/18/2015 7:01:08 AM
Posted: 1 year ago
"Osho? Aren't those kind of names common in the west?" Adam asked. Osho chuckled. It was impressive the young man knew that.

"Yes. In our language, Osho means the 'Beginner"' One who is naive."

"Naive huh?" Adam muttered, his eyes wandered, looking around the room. Osho felt embarrassed, his cheeks flushed.

"Well I'm not as naive as my name suggests, I am quite skilled in other areas beside alchemy." He said, then he hopped off his chair, and came back with a toy model of the Earth. It was a round ball, with white areas of ocean and black areas of land.

"What's that?" Adam asked with a seemingly genuine interest.

"The Globe. First designed by the great scholar, Donald of house Keller."

"I thought the Earth was flat. Every book I
ve read says so."

"Ah." The Dwarf said, excited. "This is the official model in the West, different to yours I know. We westerners believe in the theory that says the world is round instead of being flat."

Adam frowned, which made Osho nervous. "I don't think so." He said, then he broke into a grin. Osho became relieved. "I'll tell you why."

Adam stood up from his chair and took the globe in his hands. He studied it and pointed to two areas, the icy north and icy south. "First of all, these don't exist."

"The north and south poles?" Osho replied.

"Yeah, poles, right. They don't exist. There are no accounts of such cold climates in all the travel books I've read."

"That's because they're so far away, no one has ever reached them."

Adam shook his head. "No. there was one person. King Daltonia the Great. I know there's rumours of icy lands far in the north. But King Daltonia disproved those myths. He's travelled-" Adam looked serious, with a menacing grin. "To the end of the Earth."

The dwarf was fascinated. Osho had never read any books by King Daltonia. "But how do you know his accounts are real? And what does the end of the Earth look like?"

Adam's grin grew wider. "I know because I believe in him. And the things he writes are beautfiul, descriptive and with an authentic awe. This guy, this Daltonia sack, is the real deal."

The dwarf, breaking his usual composure, grinned as wildly as Adam. A rush of a thrill coursed through his body. Who was this kit? Why does he believe in absurd things? "If the Earth were truly flat." Osho began. "Why is the horizon curved?"

"Simple." Adam defied. "It's curved because while the earth is not a ball, it's not perfectly flat. Just like there are mountains on land. The entire earth could be one gigantic mountain." Adam cupped his hand over the continent of Debateros on the Globe.

Adam continued, "The horizon curves because the land is indeed rounded. Look down from a mountain and it would appear the horizon or the ends of the mountain is curved. That"s because the mountain is circular but gets smaller-" He pinched his fingers and hovered above the spot. "at the top. If you were to go all the way to the top, you would be, on top of the Earth, literally. If you were to go down all the way to the end, then you'd fall off."

Osho was even more fascinated. He didn't think Adam an idiot. Passionate and strong minded. He liked those sorts of people. "And what, again, happens when you get to the end? Is there a gigantic cliff?"

"No. There is a pit, a deep black pit. Like the night sky. There you can see the stars, shining so bright you'd think you could touch it. It's a magical experience."

"Then how would you explain gravity? If the Earth were a mountain, we'd all topple downwards to the side. I would be falling right now."

"Easy. Gravity pulls you to the biggest closest surface you stand on. Make a building big enough, and you could stick to it's vertical surface. The reason we fall off mountains is because the mountain surface gravity is being overridden with the much bigger surface gravity of the Earth. The Earth pulls you stronger than a tiny mountain.

"In fact that's how I know there's an end to the Earth. If the surface of the Earth went on forever, then we would really be toppling to the side, falling off the Earth mountain."

Osho didn't reply. He was exhausted. The kit was still smiling, smug and pretentious. For some reason, it was fun to watch. But Osho was getting tired of all the absurd theories. They made sense, to a child maybe.

"Ungh."

The sound made Osho's heart jump. It came from the boy. "I think he"s waking up."

==========================================

Chapter 8

Jibber awoke to the sounds of scuttling feet and hoarse whispers. When he opened his eyes, there was an unusual sight. It was a dwarf, examining his feet. The orange haired man had crouched upon the bed Jibber lied on. And he was making peculiar examinations to Jibber"s right leg. Prodding it and squeezing his muscles with his tiny fingers.

"This certainly is unusual," the small man said, with a sort of youthful tone. "His muscles are tenser than any patients I've ever had. Even at rest, they are rigid and tough. I dare say they are tougher than a calf's."

"Yeah. That's probably because of his skill." A voice replied. Jibber's half closed eyes darted to the left, where he saw Adam standing next to him. Was this some sort of hospital that Adam had taken him to? Jibber felt grateful towards Adam for his kindness. He wasn't his squire anymore, but Adam still stuck with him and supported Jibber.

"Skill?" The dwarf asked, raising his head. He had deep black eyes, with a molten blue in the middle.

"Yeah. He learned something called the Roylatham stance. It's an ancient technique of fighting that grants users with incredible speed and agility. I think it's called 'spin dancing' in the west."

"Spin dancing? That's very old indeed. I suppose he's practiced it to the point where he's developed new muscles." The dwarf said with an excited tone. Who was the dwarf? Jibber wanted to know. But he couldn't speak. His throat was too dry.

"New muscles?" Adam asked, arms crossed and grinning.

"Oh yes. There are tendons in his leg that should not be there. I don't even know how it is possible."

"Mmmh." Jibber tried saying. He had wanted to say, "it is possible". The dwarf turned his head. Adam knelt by the side of the bed.

"You okay Jib?" Adam asked, with a rueful smile. But Adam had nothing to apologize for. He was the reason Jibber even got a trail by combat in the first place.

"Hmm." Jibber managed to say. His lips were sealed shut. His face was numb. He couldn't smile, or move his eyebrows. Only his eyes could move around.

"I'll take that as a no." Adam said, shaking his head. "Sorry I got you into this mess Jib."

Jibber tried shaking his head, but his neck was stiff.

"It'll take some time for you to get your senses back." The dwarf told him. "I'm Osho by the way. A pseudo doctor. Pseudo because I don't have a real qualification." Then the man smiled, apologetic.

Before Jibber could test his tongue muscles again, the door on the left swung open. Boots stomped on the wooden floor and Jibber saw Stormborn Romani enter the room. He found the Stormborn to be quite intimidating.

The Stormborn closed the door, shutting out the wind that was trying to enter.

"Ah, you're finally awake!" Romani said, voice booming around the room. He clambored over to Jibber. "And here I thought we'd lose you forever."

Jibber tried to speak again. "I'm... *gulp*... fine."

"Good. Good." Romani said, squeezing Jibber's shoulder. "Rest well. Tomorrow we are leaving for the journey ahead of us."

"Wait, what?" Adam exclaimed. "Jibber's wounds won't heal by that time. Plus we don't even know if Jibber wants to come."

I want to come! Jibber thought to himself. He would do anything to join them. To save Lady Elizabeth.

===========================================================
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Episode 4 - They walk among us
Adam_Godzilla
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4/18/2015 7:02:03 AM
Posted: 1 year ago
"I want to come." Jibber said out loud. His voice surprised him. Not the fact that he could speak now. But that it was said in such sheer determination.

"Are- are you sure?" Adam asked him. There was real concern in his eyes. "That medicine Osho gave you got you to stop bleeding but your bruises haven't healed yet. And you really don't have to come Jib. You're a free man now remember."

"I want to come." Jibber said again, this time with unshakeable steel.

"But-"

"Oh Adam, the boy wants to come so let him!" Romani said, clasping Adam's left shoulder. "It's no big deal."

Adam glanced awkwardly at his cousin, then he looked at Jibber. "Well if that's what you want, I won't stop you."

Jibber said nothing.

Adam looked worried, frowning his eyes.

The door opened again. Ser Anthony stood at the doorway. Tall with the usual golden flaps of his armour hanging off his shoulders. This time, the Endarkian emblem was imprinted on his chest. Proud and large. It displayed an eagle with a mice in its beak. The cycle of life.

Jibber wondered what it would be like to be part of a great house. And then, as if remembering a nightmare, he frowned, shaking his head.

"I have someone to introduce you all to," said Ser Anthony. He side stepped and motioned beside him. Jibber's eyes moved down to the left and then his jaw dropped.

Standing meekly, clutching the leg of the knight, was a young girl, not even yet a teen, black haired with the strangest blue and red eyes. But not only that"

There was hair all over her face. A light blue fur covering the left side of her cheeks and chin. The fur ran down all the way to the neck, thickening as it seemed to cover her entire body. Her arms and legs, visible due to her short sleeved dress, was covered with a dark blue mane. It reflected the light from the fireplace in the room.

The day couldn't get any stranger for Jibber. First a dwarf, and now... a wolf? A person?

"This is Krin." The Knight proclaimed. Jibber glanced at the others in the room. Adam was staring, with furrowed eyebrows, seemingly puzzled. The dwarf was grinning. Why? Jibber couldn't tell. But Romani was calm. He had his arms crossed and a complacent face.

"Please welcome her to the group." Anthony added.

"Wait, we're bringing a girl on our search party? What is this a joke?" Adam exclaimed. "And why such a young girl! Why'd you risk the life of a child?"

"Krin is a deadly foe. And an excellent tracker. Perfect for the job." Anthony replied cooly. "We will need her on our trek. It is not my decision anyway. It's his." Anthony motioned towards Romani. Romani cleared his throat.

"Yes. She can smell a scent and follow its trail for stadiums long. We give her the scent of Liz from her clothing and she will lead us once we arrive to the far north. It is necessary." Romani said, with a stern finality in his voice at the last sentence.

Jibber glanced back to the girl, who was hiding behind Ser Anthony, looking terrified. Jibber couldn't blame her. There were no women in the group and everyone was reacting badly to her. But, at least, Jibber won't be the youngest in the group now.

"H-Hi." The girl's voice startled everyone. It was sweet, high pitched. Just like an innocent child.

"Umm Hello there," Adam said, awkward, as if realizing how rude he'd been to the girl. "Sorry about what I said. I'm just worried for your safety."

"It's okay." Krin replied. Jibber tried to place her age according to her voice. He put her at eleven years old at least.

"I- want to help." The girl continued. "I want to help you find sister Liz. She's a very kind person. I know her. And I... want to help."

Everyone was silent. Adam couldn't say anything, except look down at his feet with sad eyes.

Adam looked up, putting on a spirited face. Determined. He walked to the girl and clasped her shoulder. The girl flinched. Her facial hairs moved as she winced in fear.

"Alright little kit. But just so you know, no one's going to be waiting for you to catch up, helping you pack or nothing. No one's responsible for you but you. You keep up or we leave you. You got that?"

Adam was being harsh on the girl. Too harsh. Jibber wanted to tell the girl that it was all alright. Tell her that what Adam really meant was that all the guys in the room would protect her and take care of her. But, Adam was right. They needed to save Liz as soon as possible.

They could not waste any time.

"Y-yes." The girl responded, looking down on at the ground. "I will, I promise." She was close to tears. But somehow she held it back.

"Right." Romani said, calling for everyone's attention. "Everyone get some rest. We leave at sunrise. Hopefully this storm will have pass by then."

Yeah, Jibber thought. But he was more worried about the slow pain that was engulfing his body. His muscles ached. Especially his heels and tighs. He couldn't feel the pain in his face. Yet. But he could tell he had bruises. He had trouble opening his eyes.

"Um. So I look forward to the trip." It was the dwarf who spoke. Adam eyes went wide. Jibber too was surprised. The dwarf coming along on the journey? Was he a soldier?

No. Jibber realised the dwarf was a medic. A healer. Jibber knew the dwarf was the one who had tended to his wounds. Someone like that would be an utmost benefit to a long trek where diseases and poison are common. A medic would be indispensable.

It all made sense. A knight, A stormborn. The best friend of the hostage. A sword-lancing fighter. A medic. And a tracker.

"You're coming with us?" Adam asked the dwarf, not hiding the surprise in his tone.

"Yes. I apologize if I may not be useful on the trek. I promise to do my best just as the child."

Adam didn't show any sign of stress. He just grinned widely. He patted the dwarf on the back. "That's awesome. We could use someone like you."

The dwarf nodded gingerly. But he smiled back, craning his neck to look up at Adam.

Jibber contemplated all this in silence. He was finally going to do something right since the night of the raid. He was finally going to go save Lady Elizabeth. It had been his plan all along, since the time he was in prison.

He would not fail his older sister.
==========================================================

END

How was this week's episodes? Good? Bad? Let me know in the Q&A! And thank you so much for reading!

Q&A for the lovely audience:

1. What were your thoughts on Osho? Do you like him as a person?

2. What do you think about Jibber? Are you likely to read another chapter with his perspective and enjoy it?

3. Is the writing stronger/weaker this time around? Do you prefer the more detailed writing from chapters 4 and 5?

4. On a scale of 1 - 10, how much did you enjoy chapter 7 & 8?

5. And finally, what do you think about Krin and her appearance?

Any feedback is appreciated so thank you for answering the questions!

Next time on A Game of DDO: "Undecided" (meaning that there is still decision to be made on character perspective X))
New episode of OUTSIDERS: http://www.debate.org...
Episode 4 - They walk among us
Adam_Godzilla
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4/18/2015 7:03:15 AM
Posted: 1 year ago
Want to know more about what happened with the Queen the day after the murder of her child? Read on to find out :P (hope this feeds your ego, Mishap)

Bonus chapter: "Grief"

"I don't know if you're joking or you actually mean that Queen Gina."

"I'm serious. I will kill myself." The Queen stared off in the mirror in her bathroom. The tiled stone walls made her scared. She felt trapped.

"Don't my Queen." Her servant said in a hushed voice. "Even if your child has passed-"

"Yes! He's dead. Please stop reminding me that Edward is gone." The Queen snapped. Red eyed. The mishappen Queen. The miscarriage Queen. Poor Queen Gina.

I wish you all just go to hell, she scowled in her head. The wenches who keep taunting her should go to -

Wenches? When had Gina grown so vile and so crude? Where was the all loving mother who took care of her servants? Who took care of all those in the palace like they were family?

What had she become?

She sobbed into her hands again. She felt her servant's hand on her shoulder to calm the violent spasms of grief.

She could still remember Edward. His red freckles. The sweet smile. Mommy, one day I'll be king. One day I'll be king like daddy. And then I can protect you from him.

His smile and courage was so sweet. So innocent. Of course, she didn't let her husband hit him. Of course she protected him.

But not anymore.

"I hate the gods." She muttered. The servant gasped, dropping the tray of scissors onto the floor. She hurriedly picked them up.

"What are you saying my Queen?" She asked, wide eyed. "You mustn't say things like that!"

The Queen turned her head, face wet from tears, frowning. She rested her head onto her servant's belly. "I'm scared," she whimpered. "I fear the gods are punishing me. I fear Edward is dead because of me. Because I angered the gods."

Her servant hesitated for a moment, but then smiled emphatically. She embraced Gina in her arms.

They sat there for a while. There were loose strands of hair on the sink. And Gina's head was shaved like a boy's. Why she did it, the servant wasn't sure.

Just that she was sick of it. That it was the same colour as Edward's. Or maybe it got in the way.

The servant glanced down to see the Queen clench her strands of hair in one hand. Gripping it tightly. Like it would bring back her son to life.

=====================================
END BONUS

Thank you for reading!
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Episode 4 - They walk among us
Beginner
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4/18/2015 10:26:19 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
Glorious. A dwarf. Give him mismatched eyes and scrape off the nose while you're at it. :3
Senpai has noticed you.
Adam_Godzilla
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4/18/2015 10:54:49 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 4/18/2015 10:26:19 PM, Beginner wrote:
Glorious. A dwarf. Give him mismatched eyes and scrape off the nose while you're at it. :3

Lol, I refuse to rip off the books X).
New episode of OUTSIDERS: http://www.debate.org...
Episode 4 - They walk among us
Adam_Godzilla
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4/18/2015 10:55:30 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 4/18/2015 10:27:05 PM, Beginner wrote:
Mishap can be the Cersei to my dwarfhood. ^-^

I'll see what I can do about that....

*Grin*
New episode of OUTSIDERS: http://www.debate.org...
Episode 4 - They walk among us
mishapqueen
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4/20/2015 12:57:27 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 4/18/2015 7:03:15 AM, Adam_Godzilla wrote:
Want to know more about what happened with the Queen the day after the murder of her child? Read on to find out :P (hope this feeds your ego, Mishap)

LOL, thank you. :3

Bonus chapter: "Grief"

"I don't know if you're joking or you actually mean that Queen Gina."

"I'm serious. I will kill myself." The Queen stared off in the mirror in her bathroom. The tiled stone walls made her scared. She felt trapped.

"Don't my Queen." Her servant said in a hushed voice. "Even if your child has passed-"

"Yes! He's dead. Please stop reminding me that Edward is gone." The Queen snapped. Red eyed. The mishappen Queen. The miscarriage Queen. Poor Queen Gina.

I wish you all just go to hell, she scowled in her head. The wenches who keep taunting her should go to -

Wenches? When had Gina grown so vile and so crude? Where was the all loving mother who took care of her servants? Who took care of all those in the palace like they were family?

What had she become?

She sobbed into her hands again. She felt her servant's hand on her shoulder to calm the violent spasms of grief.

She could still remember Edward. His red freckles. The sweet smile. Mommy, one day I'll be king. One day I'll be king like daddy. And then I can protect you from him.

His smile and courage was so sweet. So innocent. Of course, she didn't let her husband hit him. Of course she protected him.

But not anymore.

"I hate the gods." She muttered. The servant gasped, dropping the tray of scissors onto the floor. She hurriedly picked them up.

"What are you saying my Queen?" She asked, wide eyed. "You mustn't say things like that!"

The Queen turned her head, face wet from tears, frowning. She rested her head onto her servant's belly. "I'm scared," she whimpered. "I fear the gods are punishing me. I fear Edward is dead because of me. Because I angered the gods."

Her servant hesitated for a moment, but then smiled emphatically. She embraced Gina in her arms.

They sat there for a while. There were loose strands of hair on the sink. And Gina's head was shaved like a boy's. Why she did it, the servant wasn't sure.

Just that she was sick of it. That it was the same colour as Edward's. Or maybe it got in the way.

The servant glanced down to see the Queen clench her strands of hair in one hand. Gripping it tightly. Like it would bring back her son to life.

=====================================
END BONUS


Thank you for reading!
You cannot choose whether or not you will live by rules, but you can choose which rules you will live by. --Me

"I was wrong. Squirrels are objectively superior to bunnies in every conceivable dimension."
--Joey

"Silence is golden, duct tape is silver" --PetersSmith

Nunc aut Numquam
donald.keller
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4/24/2015 12:19:50 AM
Posted: 1 year ago
How was this week's episodes? Good? Bad? Let me know in the Q&A! And thank you so much for reading!

8 out of 10.

Q&A for the lovely audience:

Credits: DK.

1. What were your thoughts on Osho? Do you like him as a person?

Yes. He's very detailed. With only 2 chapters, I have a great idea of who he is.

2. What do you think about Jibber? Are you likely to read another chapter with his perspective and enjoy it?

Jibber didn't come with much of a perspective since he mostly just sat there while we heard about what everyone else was doing.

3. Is the writing stronger/weaker this time around? Do you prefer the more detailed writing from chapters 4 and 5?

Stronger. The detail is blended in nicely, so it doesn't interrupt the flow of information.

4. On a scale of 1 - 10, how much did you enjoy chapter 7 & 8?

8 out of 10.

5. And finally, what do you think about Krin and her appearance?

She seems like she'll be an interesting part of the future chapters. A half-human half-wolf could be very intriguing.

Any feedback is appreciated so thank you for answering the questions!


Next time on A Game of DDO: "Undecided" (meaning that there is still decision to be made on character perspective X))

Okay... So these chapters were interesting... But slow... Two chapter covering one scene seems like a bit much. The second issue is there being two chapters. It makes the reading session twice as long, which isn't entirely good.

Other than that, I liked the influx of characters. You brought in a lot of characters, and despite covering only one scene, you covered a lot of information and set up an interesting line up for future episodes. You also gave a lot more insight into different cultures, and different beliefs people have. This world building was a great feature of the chapter.

The best advice I can give is to describe via active descriptions and not static descriptions (I totally made those words up). Descriptions can be boring to read somethings. Like instead of saying "He grinned menacingly..." you could say "He gave a menacing grin..." The first makes the description an add on to describe the smile/action, while the second description feels like it's a part of the smile/action... Making it flow better.

Other than that, the chapters were great, and I enjoyed seeing the characters through the dwarfs mind. Seeing one culture and it's people interpreted through the eyes of a person from another culture, with unique opinions, was fun.
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Adam_Godzilla
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4/24/2015 4:01:25 AM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 4/24/2015 12:19:50 AM, donald.keller wrote:
How was this week's episodes? Good? Bad? Let me know in the Q&A! And thank you so much for reading!

8 out of 10.

Q&A for the lovely audience:

Credits: DK.
Would you like me to credit you in the future? That's actual a serious question.

1. What were your thoughts on Osho? Do you like him as a person?

Yes. He's very detailed. With only 2 chapters, I have a great idea of who he is.
I can check that on my list then.

2. What do you think about Jibber? Are you likely to read another chapter with his perspective and enjoy it?

Jibber didn't come with much of a perspective since he mostly just sat there while we heard about what everyone else was doing.
Alright, gonna circle that bit.

3. Is the writing stronger/weaker this time around? Do you prefer the more detailed writing from chapters 4 and 5?

Stronger. The detail is blended in nicely, so it doesn't interrupt the flow of information.
Check.

4. On a scale of 1 - 10, how much did you enjoy chapter 7 & 8?

8 out of 10.
Hmm... Check? Alright check. (what will it take to get a nine hmm?)

5. And finally, what do you think about Krin and her appearance?

She seems like she'll be an interesting part of the future chapters. A half-human half-wolf could be very intriguing.
Aliright, awesome.

Any feedback is appreciated so thank you for answering the questions!


Next time on A Game of DDO: "Undecided" (meaning that there is still decision to be made on character perspective X))

Okay... So these chapters were interesting... But slow... Two chapter covering one scene seems like a bit much. The second issue is there being two chapters. It makes the reading session twice as long, which isn't entirely good.
Yup. Totally screwed that up lol. I'll keep that in mind.

Other than that, I liked the influx of characters. You brought in a lot of characters, and despite covering only one scene, you covered a lot of information and set up an interesting line up for future episodes. You also gave a lot more insight into different cultures, and different beliefs people have. This world building was a great feature of the chapter.
Damn, that's awesome! Exactly what I was aiming for.

The best advice I can give is to describe via active descriptions and not static descriptions (I totally made those words up). Descriptions can be boring to read somethings. Like instead of saying "He grinned menacingly..." you could say "He gave a menacing grin..." The first makes the description an add on to describe the smile/action, while the second description feels like it's a part of the smile/action... Making it flow better.
What?! Holy crap. I seriously didn't know that until now. Thanks man :). Now that's what I call author to author advice!

Other than that, the chapters were great, and I enjoyed seeing the characters through the dwarfs mind. Seeing one culture and it's people interpreted through the eyes of a person from another culture, with unique opinions, was fun.

Hmm, I feel like I could have done that better. But if it was accomplished then I'm glad. Thank you for the highly helpful comment, good sir! (hope mine is as helpful lol...)
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Adam_Godzilla
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4/24/2015 4:09:09 AM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 4/24/2015 12:19:50 AM, donald.keller wrote:

By the way Donald, what did you think about the ridiculous mountain idea? XD I dunno, I just made that up on the spot. I mean is it even plausible in a world with perhaps different laws of physics?

A world in which everyone is standing on the surface of a gigantic mountain called Earth, hmm...
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donald.keller
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4/24/2015 4:21:38 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 4/24/2015 4:09:09 AM, Adam_Godzilla wrote:
At 4/24/2015 12:19:50 AM, donald.keller wrote:

By the way Donald, what did you think about the ridiculous mountain idea? XD I dunno, I just made that up on the spot. I mean is it even plausible in a world with perhaps different laws of physics?

A world in which everyone is standing on the surface of a gigantic mountain called Earth, hmm...

It's a great rationalization lol. Although I didn't understand a lot of the physics behind it, it is something a kid could believe in. Very realistic old-world rationalizing lol
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Adam_Godzilla
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4/24/2015 7:59:55 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 4/24/2015 4:21:38 PM, donald.keller wrote:
At 4/24/2015 4:09:09 AM, Adam_Godzilla wrote:
At 4/24/2015 12:19:50 AM, donald.keller wrote:

By the way Donald, what did you think about the ridiculous mountain idea? XD I dunno, I just made that up on the spot. I mean is it even plausible in a world with perhaps different laws of physics?

A world in which everyone is standing on the surface of a gigantic mountain called Earth, hmm...

It's a great rationalization lol. Although I didn't understand a lot of the physics behind it, it is something a kid could believe in. Very realistic old-world rationalizing lol

Cool lol :P
New episode of OUTSIDERS: http://www.debate.org...
Episode 4 - They walk among us