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DDO in spaaace EPisode 2: Condoms of death

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10/4/2015 5:54:26 AM
Posted: 1 year ago
DDO in spaaaaace episode 2: Condoms of death

'Welcome, welcome!' Said head direction tejretics of the condom factory. "It's a pleasure bsh1 to welcome you to our condom facility we understand youre our top customer"
"What can I say, butt I love to f*ck"
"ahaha, take some condoms with you and give them to all your friends."

After the tour bsh1 regrouped back with us.

"So commander?" I asked
"Its lightly guarded, condom processing is in the back"
"Nice, Keller done workin on that bomb?"
"Aye, sir. We go around the back and insert it in the back entrance, it will destroy all biological material with an inverse singularity bioeater.
"Holy sh1t! Bonbon, you and bsh prepare to pick us up when the bomb detonates while keller and I go around back."

We went around the back and came inside.

"This is a good spot" Keller commented.
"Right, place it and arm it."

Tejrects came from behind a corner

"Hmmm, looks like Jedi4 is being a bad bad boy" he said.
"We have a bomb, back the f*ck off or we'll detonate it!"
Tejrekts got this grin on his face "Oh are you now?"

I felt a strike right on the back of my neck, I dropped. I saw Keller over me. He kicked me and placed a transporer device on me. I was then transported to a brig of a dark looking shuttle

"hehe, i betrayed him like from game of thrones" said keller to rejraks.
Tejjie pulled a huge knife from his back and stabbed keler right in the neck.
"Yes, you did"
Tojracks watched as the life drained from Keller.
I opend my eyes and I was in my quarters
I sighed knowing it was just a dream. I then woke up back in the brig realizing that thinking that was a dream was a dream in itself.
"Ahh, you don't think we'd let you off with some BS dream ending did you"

I looked up, it was.....Wylted. His pants were down, he had..... he had a hook for pen1s. He had a hook shaped condom which he held carefully.

"Yes, this has the virus on it" He said seductively. "It is time to receive your rape"


"I don't get it, they should be done!"
"Should we go check?" asked bonbon.
"Yes, take in closer"

They entered the back to find a dead Keller.

"Holy sh1t, we need to find the Captian and fast!"
"Guys! Over here!" a whisper called out

Bonbon and bsh drew their space gun phasers.

"Step the out, slowly."
"Look, guys, i'm MisterMittens. I am an ex juggle doctor. I was kidnapped and forced to work on the condom virus"
Bonbon grabbed mitten's coller "Do you know where the captain is?"
"Th-that guy that was here with the dead guy? He was transpor-"
" I don't know b-but I can give you a location by scanning transpor-traces"
"Do it!"

I knew this was the end. The trolls seek pleasure. I was going to be raped, then die from pooping out my organs.

"Activate rape program 1"
Hooks came and spread my legs and butt open. Wylted entered me. His hooked pen1s causing damage and I could feel the virus spreading though my system. He finished in a matter of seconds. I could feel my organs trying to come out of my butt, I resisted even though I fully expected it to end soon.
I was about to pass out when I heard phaser fire.

Bonbon barged into the brig, the guard drew his phaser. Bonbon stepped off to the left and fire his phaser first. Wylted ran towards Bonbon and stroke her.

Bonbon fired, but missed him. She turned her attention at the control console releasing the security cell. All I remember is being dragged out, I passed out.
I awoke in sick bay. With a strange man standing over me!
"Who the hell are you!?"
"I'm misterminttions i was able to cure you!"
"What? How"
"The condoms attract organs from entering inside a lower sphincter. I just had to put a condom in an upper sphincter to counteract the pull."
"Wow, so a d1ck in the mouth really does solve all problems!"

"Captian, I believe we can trust this man, he helped us find you from Wylted's sex shuttle and cured you" Bsh1 said
"Well then, welcome abord doctor"
"Because our presence was already known, I destroyed the facility from orbit"
"Nice Bsh, why didn't we do that before and then gtfo of here?"
"Because spy stuff is cool! Also I wanted to get free condoms from there. "
"Any news on wylted?"
"Unfortently, wylted set the shuttle to self-destruct and left somewhere on the surface before we could capture him"

I took a deep breath and said "I swear, that motherf*cker has plot armor."

I layed in my quarters, with nothing but a sore butt. I knew one day, it might be more than sore. I might be more than sore. I'm getting old. I cant be a juggle captain forever. When i was young, i wished to live a pleasurable life. I then wanted a quick life, death in military in service to others. I cant think like that anymore, I have priorities, a crew. With that, I drifted to sleep.
On the edges of the Sovereign Edeb8 rims.

"Lord Larz, we have a problem." nzlockie said.
" We have sightings of the troll fleet in our space"
Larz thought for a while....

"Prepare the fleet."

The edeb8 fleet was small but had a technological advantage over those in DDO space. They maintained a peace treaty but the tensions have been tense.

The edeb8 fleet and the troll fleet approched

"Fire quantum wavefunction phasers" Lord larz stated.

They ripped apart the troll's defenses, but the trolls had sheer numbers on their side.
"Sir, I need time to recalculate the quantum wavefunction phasers, we can only win when the enemy cares about loses, these trolls don't!" Pretorian RXR said
Larz sighed "They have too many and too little care for losses, in the long term with enough ships we'd win..... but.... not now
Larz hailed the admirals
"Call off the fleet, retreat to our base of operations."

To be continued....or not? I don't know.
Posts: 2,224
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10/4/2015 5:14:45 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
so succulent, so sexy.
I bet fanfics are already being posted on random blogs about us.-Vaarka

Butters preformed his duty to the town and died with honor, he helped us kill scum, so we know have to go and make sure his death wasn't in vain and win this game for him.-lannan13

All hail the great and mighty Butters, who died for our inactive cause.-Vaarka

fuckith offith, lol.-Ore(talking to me)

And guess what happened to FT? He got raped to death.-Xlav

You are so obviously town I love you man.-VOT
Posts: 1,315
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10/29/2015 4:22:35 AM
Posted: 12 months ago
Ep 3 pls.

This stuff actually reminds me of the star trek improvised podcast.
404 coherent debate topic not found. Please restart the debate with clear resolution.

Uphold Marxist-Leninist-Maoist-Sargonist-n7ism.
Posts: 4,924
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9/18/2016 7:12:30 PM
Posted: 1 month ago



"bossy r u like 85 years old and have lost ur mind"

"I've honestly never seen seventh post anything that wasn't completely idiotic in a trying-to-be-funny way."