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Fan Fiction: The Woods of DDO

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11/1/2015 8:28:36 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
I got bored and wrote three of these, I don't think any are too long. I haven't written fiction in forever so this was interesting.

1 -

It was a dark and stormy night, and thett the wolf was hunting in the forest. Thett was very wet, very cold, and very hungry. Quietly trodding through the muddy mulch of leaves and brush, thett saw an orange glow far ahead of him. He decided to get a closer look.

As thett got nearer to the light, the blackness of the night broke apart into dancing patches of shadow. "Ah," thett said to himself "this is a fire! Perhaps I can lay down and warm myself by its flames!"

Thett crept closer to the light and soon could see a bulky shape bathing in the warmth of the fire. Stretched above the fire was a drooping expanse of rough fabric, sheltering the shape and the fire from the rain. "This would be a wonderful place to curl up and sleep tonight," thett thought, "but whose fire is this?"

"Whose fire is this?" thett barked.

The shape near the fire rose up and peered into the blank face of the woods beyond his camp. Seeing nothing, he picked up his hunting knife and said nothing.

"I said, whose fire is this? Are you a man?" thett barked more loudly this time.

The man stared into the woods, then shouted back. "I am a man and this is my fire. I know a wolf by his bark. What do you want?"

"You are a man with a fire, but do you have a name?" thett barked.

"A wolf does not need a man"s name. Shoo!"

Thett cocked his head as the man picked up a stone and pitched it at the woods. The stone disappeared into the darkness far from where thett stood and the wolf shivered in the wet forest.

"Your fire looks very warm" thett said.

Thett waited for a reply but heard only the splashing of rain as the man stood blindly staring.

"You know, your fire could just as easily warm two bodies as it could one."

Now the man laughed.

"Wolf, just because you are clever doesn"t mean I am stupid. You are just as hungry as you are cold and will certainly try to eat me if I let you near."

Thett looked at the man, thinking to himself. Water splashed off the leaves above, concealing the silence of his thought. After some time, the man sat again, settling in to the comfort of his fire.

Finally thett spoke again.

"You are hungry too, I am sure. You can"t have been hunting since this storm broke out three nights ago!"

Again rising to stand, the man said "Are you still here? If you come near my fire I will gut you!"

Thett shook himself, vainly trying to dry his matted fur.

"I was just out hunting when I saw your fire. If I find something we could trade. You can eat my quarry and I can feel your fire."

The man scowled and looked into the fire.

"I told you I am not so foolish. You will try to eat me as soon as you are near enough. No man is stupid enough to trust a wolf."

"But I am not asking you to trust me!" thett huffed. "When I return with food, we will both eat. If I am not hungry, why would I risk my own tail for a chance to eat you?

The man"s face twisted as he sat down, still looking into the fire.

"You are very clever wolf." He said.

"I am very cold." thett replied. "And you are very hungry."

"We are BOTH hungry." the man shouted.

"When I return, only you will be hungry. And then we can talk some more."

The man looked up from the fire and searched again the empty darkness of the woods.

"I haven"t made any deal with you!" the man spat at the wolf.

The man waited for a reply from the darkness, but heard only the rain.

__________ End
We gonna pull up like the ice cream truck
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11/14/2015 5:33:01 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
2 -

After some time, thett wolf grew thirsty. The dark rain fell around him and collected in muddy pools and thin streams, yet the wolf decided to turn toward a small creek he knew nearby in hope of clear water. Licking the ground was a shameful act anyways, and thett wolf had always been prideful.

As the wolf neared the creek, he stopped to listen in hope of prey or other opportunity. Muffled by the sound of falling rain, thett heard a ridiculous shrieking giggle. The laughing stopped, and a few moments latter began even more raucously. Thett followed the sound to the overflowed bank of the creek.

Above the creek a monkey sat on a high thick branch. The monkey shamelessly crooned to himself in a rocking muffled laugh while it turned over a strange pink object in its paws. Now thett moved closer and could see that pink object seemed to move of its own volition in the monkey"s paw. As the object wiggled, the monkey again began to cackle.

"What do you have in your paw?" Thett barked up at the ape.

The ape started and let the pink object slip from his grasp and tumble toward the ground below. Quickly he dropped off his perch, grasping the branch with his tail as he fell head first, and caught the object again in his outstretched paw. The monkey turned toward the wolf and bared his teeth as he used his free hand to right himself on his branch.

"You big dummy!" The monkey screeched. "You almost killed my pet!"

Thett cocked his head. "Your pet?"

"Yes you stupid puppy! Do you know what a pet is? Or are too stupid? A pet is a small animal you keep as your own because it is too weak and stupid to be left alone. This is my pet."

The monkey pushed the pink object down toward the wolf in two outstretched hands. Between the monkeys grasping fingers a strange pink head poked through. The wolf strained to see that it had strange spikes on its head with feathers protruding in every direction and a tiny face more like a man"s than an animal"s.

"I"ve never seen a pet like that before. What is it?" the wolf barked.

"Of course you haven"t, wolves are too busy stuffing their faces to learn anything about the world. I wouldn"t expect you to know a monkey from a bench."

Thett sat on the ground and began to scratch his ear with his leg. "Are you saying you are a bench?"

The monkey hooted with laughter. "Yes mister wolf! Imabench- you can call me that you silly pup."

The wolf licked his lips and stared intently at the pink animal wriggling in the monkey"s paw. "Well, so what is it?" thett persisted.

"What is what?"

"Your pet. Do you know what it is?

The ape paused and examined his pet closely. He looked down on the wolf and confidently hooted "it"s a bird!"

Thett snorted. "That"s not a bird, it doesn"t have wings."

"But it has feathers on its head!"

"It has four legs, and birds only have two. It has no beak, the animal is not a bird."

"But it has feathers. Only birds have feathers. Therefore if something has feathers, it is a bird. Please try to use some common logic and keep up with me."

The wolf thought for a second. "Well Mr. "I"m a bench" Where did you find it?"

"In the creek." The monkey replied. "It was under the water near the bank."

Now the wolf laughed. "Whoever heard of a bird in a creek! It must be a fish!"

Incensed at being laughed at, the monkey lunged forward and hissed at the wolf. "It is a bird I said! You are the stupidest thing I"ve seen this week! What an idiot to think a fish has feathers!"

Feeling his chance slip away, thett glanced at the pink creature still wriggling in the monkeys closed first and calmly asked "Well have you given your pet a name yet?"

The monkey relaxed and leaned back on his perch as he thought about the question. He grinned and replied "Yes! His name is airmax, in honor of his bird heritage!"

Thett grinned, "That is a fine name. Could you show me airmax"s face again?"

Again the monkey pushed the little creature toward the wolf below.

Looking at airmax intently, thett nodded to himself "Yes I see now it does have feathers." The monkey smiled and stroked airmax"s head. "But we could know for certain it was a bird if it were able to fly," added the wolf.

"I think you have taught me something. All bids fly, so if airmax is a bird he can fly. This surely follows from your previous argument mr bench?"

"That does make some sense, but""

"And mr. bench!" the wolf shouted up, "surely we have no reason to doubt you are much smarter than me. You certainly already know that little airmax can fly, but I am just not as smart as you, I can only understand what is plain to see."

"Yes well of course I know airmax can fly, just like any bird, but I"m not about to indulge you""

"What! But that is as much as admitting I"m not so stupid after all, that airmax might actually be a fish."

The monkey shrieked and stood up. "Now that"s not true!"

"Ha!" The wolf laughed. "Never thought I"d see the day a monkey admitted he was wrong to a wolf."

The monkey shrieked again and held out the pink creature over the open air below the branch. "You idiot I"ll prove you wrong you stupid wolf!" and he threw airmax out into the forest air.

Thett lept to his feet and raced to follow the arc of the pink animal as its tiny body flipped end over end through the air. The monkey looked in horror as its pet accelerated toward the forest floor. Airmax landed on a low flat rock with soft "thwak," the animal"s pink skin split as it struck the rock and his insides spurt onto the rock in a short line.

Thett stopped at the rock and stared with amusement at the unmoving creature.

"Maybe he wasn"t a fish after all" thett said, and slurped the fresh carcass off the rock.

The monkey stood frozen on his branch. As thett turned to walk away from the creek the monkey began to slowly shake his head, and then to jump up and down, and then to howl and shriek. Pointing at the wolf disappearing into the rain and brush, the monkey could only manage to yell

"You wolf! You wolf wolf wolf wolf!"
We gonna pull up like the ice cream truck