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Everything Falls Apart Ep. 1

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11/29/2015 4:17:27 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
The mouse was greasy from the bacon that Airmax1227 had eaten a few moments earlier, making it particularly difficult to scroll through the forums on his favorite website, As moderator of the site, Max had the power to do many things, one might say, everything.

So on this one particular morning, Max had woken up, brewed himself his favorite coffee: Triple Pumpkin Spice Latte, cleaned, shined, polished, and stroked his 22 and one-half Ugg boots. (The other half of his Classic Short Quilted Ugg Exclusive had been lost in a bet). Like a nerd with OCD, he took each one down, did the mandatory cleaning, shining, polishing and stroking, and then replaced each pair on their rainbow colored shoe racks that he had picked up from the Container Store at buy-one-get-one-50%-off sale. That deal had considerably raised his self-esteem in his ability to be the best coupon shopper the world had ever seen. His Elo on had risen considerably that day, he was actually close to surpassing 1!M_a6RsH@a-1993 (she accidentally put her password in the username bar when she signed up).

Yet the bacon grease made effective moderating an impossible task, so Max, being the problem-solver he is, opened up YouTube and watched Martha Stewart guide YYW through how to clean greasy fingers. After the video had expired, Max turned to retrieve his Martha Stewart Bacon Oil Remover, but Autoplay knew him too well. Extra was to play next, irresistible. He spent the next 3 hours studying Mario Lopez"s tight purple shirt, and the celebrity"s newest gossip. Finally a bad wifi connection ended his trance, and he went to brush his teeth. Using his Colgate Enamel Health toothpaste, his bushed in a circular motion, just like Martha had taught him to do. Returning to his computer, he ordered The Anniversary Edition of Mean Girls, and cut out and sorted his new arrival of coupons. After this, he returned to DDO. There was a PM from Hayd reminding him to please consult with him on the issue of a member sending repeated death threats to Hayd and his family. Knowing that Hayd probably just wants attention, he ignored him again and opened a PM from bsh1:

"We need to talk."

Surprised at the ominous sentence, Max tried to lighten bsh1 up with his usual greeting.

"Whats crackin" diggity-dogg dogg."

He got an immediate response back,

"It's not secure here, call my private line."

This couldn"t be good. DDO Moderation only used the private line when the worst of the worst had happened, when their own safe-haven was no longer secure.

Trembling, Max grabbed his Build-A-Bear monkey he named Bananaz, with a Z, and clutched his hand-woven Jewish Kipa atop his head. Slowly Max reached his hand out and picked up his receiver. Slowly dialing the secret code, he held the receiver up to his ear and whispered pathetically,


"Hello, yes. Do not use real names here until we know it is secure." bsh said in his Elmo accent that he used when he didn"t want people to know who he was. This must be really bad if bsh would do that Max thought to himself, "my code-name is The Big Bish, you are Axolotl King1"

"I read you," Zaradi replied, "My code name is Trump".

"Ok," bsh1 affirmed, "Axolotl King1 do you know the situation?"

"Uh, no. I don"t think so." Max replied nervously.

"Ok, this is what has happened..."


Find out the rest in Episode 2!
Posts: 3,042
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12/1/2015 4:30:05 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
I lol'd.

Good job.

Write more.
[Censored by Airmax]

Writing Queen of DDO

Check out the latest episode of Nautilus:

It's a great series... some say

If you want to see the trailer for my movie, go here:

"This is all just propaganda," Airmax

"Oops wrong account," UtherPenguin
Posts: 21,946
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12/3/2015 12:06:31 AM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 12/1/2015 4:30:05 PM, Jonbonbon wrote:

Write more.

VP of DDO from Dec 14th 2014 to Jan 1st 2015

Internet Missing Person Alert: Angsty teen with daddy issues who is a failed horse rapist and also may be a cross-dresser. If spotted, please contact your local animal control or whatever disease-control organization is close by so they may return the species back to its garbage container habitat.
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7/9/2016 9:39:41 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 12/4/2015 2:38:50 AM, Hayd wrote:
At 12/3/2015 12:06:31 AM, imabench wrote:
At 12/1/2015 4:30:05 PM, Jonbonbon wrote:

Write more.

Will do

This was funny. Thnx for the read.
New episode of OUTSIDERS:
Episode 4 - They walk among us