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The Adventures of GOOP

HeavenlyPanda
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7/10/2016 10:55:47 PM
Posted: 5 months ago
Chapter 1

Once upon a cyber space there was a Grumpy Old Online Person. Lets just call this person GOOP. GOOP was 52 to be exact and lived in America. He was happily married and probably had many kids. GOOPs life was going well until one day he joined a debating website. This debating website was called Db8.org. And it changed his life forever.

GOOPs very first Db8 was about The Theory Of Existence. Now GOOP was a rational man who could definitely make rational decisions but something about that Db8 made him tick. He flip flopped over the decision of The Theory of Existence. Was it "everything exists until proven not to exist" or was it "nothing exists until it is proven to exist"? GOOP scratched his head in consternation. This was a very difficult question.

Suddenly GOOP had a revelation! Why not just say that it's neither. GOOP quickly wrote that down and posted it without thinking. But later on it would come back to haunt him. GOOP happily went on his way through cyber space. Writing down his opinion on topics and polls. He slipped through forums and gave very wise advice to others who he deemed irrational. He corrected the wrong and was on his way to being the Advice God of Db8.org when suddenly a notification popped up!

In a flurry and a fluster, GOOP quickly clicked on the notification. It was for his Db8 about the Theory of Existence. GOOPs anticipation literally was oozing out of him that his wife who was worried about GOOPs obsessive time on the Internet came over.

"What is it GOOP my dear?" she daintily asked in a high pitched girly voice. GOOP stared at the screen in consternation as to what had been written. His brows frowned and his eyes narrowed. He growled and clenched his fist on the mouse.

"GOOP my dear! What's wrong? You look constipated," GOOPs wife fluttered daintily around him like a nervous butterfly. "We have laxatives in the cupbaord. The Doctor said it's ok to take them." GOOP growled again and squinted at the screen. For to his horror, it had rebuttaled him. It said that since he had refused both options now believed that GOOP was for everything and nothing existing all at the same time. GOOP felt flummoxed, perplexed, baffled! How dare this, this, this disgusting vile creature from China and heaven dare to refute him. How dare this holy abominable little ailuropoda melanoleuca beast best him in this Db8. So worked up was he that GOOP didn't even notice his wife, the dainty little butterfly that she was mix a laxative into his drink.

I have to beat this evil holy bear from China. GOOP thought maliciously. So he started to plot and plot and plot and plot and plot and finally when the sun rose from the east like a glorious bat, GOOPs brain kicked into action. After a good couple more hours he finally came up with an answer.

"No. I will not accept your rebuttal. Write a new one."

GOOP stared at it with pride. Haha, this would stump that devilish black and white holy beast. GOOP, proud that his work was done took a big swig of the mug on his desk and finished it in one gulp. Then GOOP went back to advising people on how their lives should be run. I'm pretty good at this, GOOP thought. I should be like Oprah. GOOP thought basking in self glory. I would advice people on how to run their lives and be famous. GOOP grinned as he thought of all the money, riches and- GOOP suddenly dashed to the bathroom, the laxatives from his drink finally kicking in.

When GOOP came back he had a notification! Eagerly he clicked it and stared at his opponents response. His eyes narrowed and his brows frowned. The smile he had worn earlier was gone and replaced by a tight lipped frown. His hands clenched on the mouse. GOOPs wife who had just walked into his room to take his mug noticed the change.

"GOOP!" She cried daintily in an upset fashion. "What's wrong? You took the laxatives." She noted looking at the mug. She frowned, maybe she hadn't put enough laxatives in. GOOPs wife got the bottle of laxatives and dumped them all into GOOPs mug. She smiled sweetly, this would help him.

Meanwhile GOOP was glaring at the screen. That disgusting holy mammal of white and black. How dare it! It had replied that GOOP would lose if he didn't put down a valid point. GOOP slammed his fist down on the table. No! He would not lose, if he did, all his dreams of becoming the next Oprah would go down the drain. GOOP thought for a while as his wife set down a new mug of water for him. Suddenly an idea came to GOOP. This was GOOPs last chance to beat his opponent. This will work, he thought.

"I refuse to accept your rebuttal. I demand you write a new one."

GOOP smirked proudly. There was no way the most holiest of holy creatures in the form of a black and white bear could beat him. Suddenly a notification popped up. GOOP almost exploded with excitement. He took a swig of his mug and downed the whole contents in one go before going to the notification. He stared at it. This was his first step to riches, fame, being the next Oprah. GOOP felt over whelmed and for a minute he had to just sit there looking at that little blue notification with the number one in it. All this time he had been waiting for this. GOOPs whole life had amounted to this moment. He clicked the link. GOOP stared and his eyes bugged out. GOOP had... Had... Had lost!!! In that moment GOOP exploded in rage. And when I say exploded, I literally mean exploded. (Remember the laxatives) GOOPs wife fainted when she came in to see the commotion as GOOP raged and raged. His whole life had depended on this. Everything he had trained for, everything he had ever done, he had done for this moment and it was all ruined because of a stupid dumb little black and white furry bear that had come from heaven.

GOOP went on to be a garbage man and he cursed fervently the name of that little Chinese bear that was most holy. He cursed that little black and white bear from heaven and prayed that it may never return any of his posts. And from that day on GOOP was the most miserable person in the whole world.

The End

Morale of the story is that you should never allow your wife access to laxatives. Who knows what she might do with them and the end result is always messy.

Does anybody else have Grumpy Old Online People stories?
HeavenlyPanda. The most heavenly of all heavenly creatures.
HeavenlyPanda
Posts: 819
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7/11/2016 2:56:33 AM
Posted: 5 months ago
At 7/11/2016 2:11:45 AM, Bob13 wrote:
Are you talking about sadolite?

Wow! How did you know?!? ;)
HeavenlyPanda. The most heavenly of all heavenly creatures.
Adam_Godzilla
Posts: 2,487
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7/11/2016 10:15:25 AM
Posted: 5 months ago
At 7/10/2016 10:55:47 PM, HeavenlyPanda wrote:
Chapter 1
I love pandas.

Once upon a cyber space there was a Grumpy Old Online Person. Lets just call this person GOOP. GOOP was 52 to be exact and lived in America. He was happily married and probably had many kids. GOOPs life was going well until one day he joined a debating website. This debating website was called Db8.org. And it changed his life forever.
Oh dear.

GOOPs very first Db8 was about The Theory Of Existence. Now GOOP was a rational man who could definitely make rational decisions but something about that Db8 made him tick. He flip flopped over the decision of The Theory of Existence. Was it "everything exists until proven not to exist" or was it "nothing exists until it is proven to exist"? GOOP scratched his head in consternation. This was a very difficult question.

Now that's an interesting debate.
Suddenly GOOP had a revelation! Why not just say that it's neither. GOOP quickly wrote that down and posted it without thinking. But later on it would come back to haunt him. GOOP happily went on his way through cyber space. Writing down his opinion on topics and polls. He slipped through forums and gave very wise advice to others who he deemed irrational. He corrected the wrong and was on his way to being the Advice God of Db8.org when suddenly a notification popped up!

In a flurry and a fluster, GOOP quickly clicked on the notification. It was for his Db8 about the Theory of Existence. GOOPs anticipation literally was oozing out of him that his wife who was worried about GOOPs obsessive time on the Internet came over.

That is me, sometimes.
"What is it GOOP my dear?" she daintily asked in a high pitched girly voice. GOOP stared at the screen in consternation as to what had been written. His brows frowned and his eyes narrowed. He growled and clenched his fist on the mouse.

"GOOP my dear! What's wrong? You look constipated,"
Oh man.
GOOPs wife fluttered daintily around him like a nervous butterfly. "We have laxatives in the cupbaord.
Oh my goodness.
The Doctor said it's ok to take them." GOOP growled again and squinted at the screen. For to his horror, it had rebuttaled him. It said that since he had refused both options now believed that GOOP was for everything and nothing existing all at the same time. GOOP felt flummoxed, perplexed, baffled! How dare this, this, this disgusting vile creature from China and heaven dare to refute him. How dare this holy abominable little ailuropoda melanoleuca
An endangered species, with the life span of 20 years... Love those pandas.
beast best him in this Db8. So worked up was he that GOOP didn't even notice his wife, the dainty little butterfly that she was mix a laxative into his drink.

I have to beat this evil holy bear from China. GOOP thought maliciously. So he started to plot and plot and plot and plot and plot and finally when the sun rose from the east like a glorious bat, GOOPs brain kicked into action. After a good couple more hours he finally came up with an answer.

"No. I will not accept your rebuttal. Write a new one."

GOOP stared at it with pride. Haha, this would stump that devilish black and white holy beast. GOOP, proud that his work was done took a big swig of the mug on his desk and finished it in one gulp. Then GOOP went back to advising people on how their lives should be run. I'm pretty good at this, GOOP thought. I should be like Oprah. GOOP thought basking in self glory. I would advice people on how to run their lives and be famous. GOOP grinned as he thought of all the money, riches and- GOOP suddenly dashed to the bathroom, the laxatives from his drink finally kicking in.

When GOOP came back he had a notification! Eagerly he clicked it and stared at his opponents response. His eyes narrowed and his brows frowned. The smile he had worn earlier was gone and replaced by a tight lipped frown. His hands clenched on the mouse. GOOPs wife who had just walked into his room to take his mug noticed the change.

Oh how relatable.
"GOOP!" She cried daintily in an upset fashion. "What's wrong? You took the laxatives." She noted looking at the mug. She frowned, maybe she hadn't put enough laxatives in. GOOPs wife got the bottle of laxatives and dumped them all into GOOPs mug. She smiled sweetly, this would help him.

RIGHT.
Meanwhile GOOP was glaring at the screen. That disgusting holy mammal of white and black. How dare it! It had replied that GOOP would lose if he didn't put down a valid point. GOOP slammed his fist down on the table. No! He would not lose, if he did, all his dreams of becoming the next Oprah would go down the drain. GOOP thought for a while as his wife set down a new mug of water for him. Suddenly an idea came to GOOP. This was GOOPs last chance to beat his opponent. This will work, he thought.

"I refuse to accept your rebuttal. I demand you write a new one."

GOOP smirked proudly. There was no way the most holiest of holy creatures in the form of a black and white bear could beat him. Suddenly a notification popped up. GOOP almost exploded with excitement. He took a swig of his mug and downed the whole contents in one go before going to the notification. He stared at it. This was his first step to riches, fame, being the next Oprah. GOOP felt over whelmed and for a minute he had to just sit there looking at that little blue notification with the number one in it. All this time he had been waiting for this. GOOPs whole life had amounted to this moment. He clicked the link. GOOP stared and his eyes bugged out. GOOP had... Had... Had lost!!! In that moment GOOP exploded in rage. And when I say exploded, I literally mean exploded. (Remember the laxatives) GOOPs wife fainted when she came in to see the commotion as GOOP raged and raged.
What I'm seeing in my head, you don't wanna know.
His whole life had depended on this. Everything he had trained for, everything he had ever done, he had done for this moment and it was all ruined because of a stupid dumb little black and white furry bear that had come from heaven.

Now that is an even cooler panda.
GOOP went on to be a garbage man and he cursed fervently the name of that little Chinese bear that was most holy. He cursed that little black and white bear from heaven and prayed that it may never return any of his posts. And from that day on GOOP was the most miserable person in the whole world.

I better not f uck with this panda.
The End

Oh. This was a warning to us all wasn't it?
Morale of the story is that you should never allow your wife access to laxatives. Who knows what she might do with them and the end result is always messy.

Also don't fight with pandas.
Does anybody else have Grumpy Old Online People stories?
I used to.
There was a fifty six year old man who I debated in a religious debate. But it ended peacefully fortunately.
New episode of OUTSIDERS: http://www.debate.org...
Episode 4 - They walk among us
HeavenlyPanda
Posts: 819
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7/14/2016 11:01:55 PM
Posted: 4 months ago
At 7/12/2016 3:38:17 PM, Adam_Godzilla wrote:
Do you plan on writing another one?

Maybe, if I have a run in with another GOOP.
HeavenlyPanda. The most heavenly of all heavenly creatures.
Adam_Godzilla
Posts: 2,487
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7/14/2016 11:09:46 PM
Posted: 4 months ago
At 7/14/2016 11:01:55 PM, HeavenlyPanda wrote:
At 7/12/2016 3:38:17 PM, Adam_Godzilla wrote:
Do you plan on writing another one?

Maybe, if I have a run in with another GOOP.

Regardless, you are now part of the cluster (which is what I'm calling us writers from now), it was made publicly official by BOT's newsletter. Whatever inspiration you find, know I look forward to your next instalment.
New episode of OUTSIDERS: http://www.debate.org...
Episode 4 - They walk among us
HeavenlyPanda
Posts: 819
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7/15/2016 1:39:47 PM
Posted: 4 months ago
Chapter 2

Once upon a cyber space there was a Grumpy Old Online Person (GOOP). Now this GOOP was quite the avid gamer and loved to play video games. And while GOOP was passionate about his love for video games, he wasn't all that intelligent. Unknown to him, GOOP would one day become famous for his passion of video games.

Now one day this GOOP decided that he would go viral with his passion for video games. And he decided to do than on a website called Db8.org. Now this website was already filled with intelligent beings capable of speech so GOOP felt helplessly outmatched. For GOOP in his passion for video games had dropped out of school and now lived in his parents basement playing video games. He played day and night and never got up to do anything. In fact, his parents had to install a toilet seat in the sofa that GOOP sat on.

So GOOP in his pondering decided to play CS:GO. A video game of ultimate talent, intelligence and skill! This would make GOOP as intelligent as all the rest of the people on Db8.org! Once GOOP had played for a whole week day and night he finally felt ready. He had reached the rank of player #973628648363 on the leader boards and was feeling pretty good about himself. GOOP then went to go make himself an account.

GOOP grunted in consternation as he tried to understand what all the little buttons on his keyboard meant. For GOOP could only understand seven letters. A, X, Y, B, R, T, and L. The rest were difficult for GOOP. GOOP looked at the box where he was suppose to fill out something.

"Mommy!" GOOP cried feeling upset that he didn't understand this. GOOPs mother came rushing down in a panicked flurry.

"What is it GOOP deary," GOOPs mother crooned. "What's the problem?" GOOP stared in consternation at the screen and grunted at it. GOOP as you can see was a man of few words. His mother instantly understood and fluttered over to him like a butterfly. GOOPs mother translated for him and typed for him, finally glad that her little baby boy was actually putting his brain to use.

GOOP felt like bursting with joy when his account was finally made. The very first thing he'd do was set up an opinion about video games. GOOP With his mothers help set up an opinion.

"Now GOOP be a good little boy," his mother said. "I have to go make dinner, have fun." GOOPs mom was bursting with pride that her son was finally applying his brain to good use. GOOP smiled, his yellow teeth showing beneath his chubby lips (for of course he hadn't brushed his teeth ever since he dropped out of school) Now where to start? He looked at the box but he wasn't sure what it said. Suddenly GOOP had a brilliant idea. He turned on voice control. He then clicked on the words.

"Opinions." GOOP frowned he-

"Write your opinion." GOOP pondered what he would write. When he had decided on what to write he looked at the keyboard. He tapped the R and an R showed up on the screen. Smiling he began to type. After the first letter he paused. He wasn't sure how to type the rest of the sentence. Suddenly another bright idea hit GOOP. He communicated to other video game players through text talk! GOOP was actually quite fluent in text talk.

R VGs OK 4 PPL?
(Are video games ok for people?)

GOOP laid back on his sofa pleased and clicked the "Post" button. GOOP waited for people to reply. But nobody did. GOOP grunted in consternation again, his quadruple chins wobbling. Finally GOOP had enough of wasting time. He decided he'd look for an opinion. He went back to the opinions page and looked at all the opinions. He activated voice control and got to work.

"Are Asians Smart?" Well, of course not, GOOP thought indignantly. Asians came from Asiana right? Just like Americans can from America. Asians weren't smart, GOOP chuckled.

"Should Donald Trump be president?" GOOP Pondered that thoughtfully. And after about two seconds he came up blank so he skipped that opinion.

"Should video games be a sport?" GOOPs eyes widened. There was a question about video games. He quickly clicked it. There was only one reply and it was in the "no" column. GOOP grumbled at that for he, a man of 35 understood what "no" meant. He clicked the yes column and began to write.

Bcuz VGs R OK 4 U. + VGs R amzing. Y U hate N VGs?
(Because video games are ok for you. Plus video games are amazing. Why you hate on video games?)

He then looked at the no reply and clicked on voice control. It read to him "Video games should not be a sport because they have no physical exertion." It was written by a bear from heaven. GOOP contemplated what "physical exertion" meant for his brain could not understand those two words. Finally GOOP concluded that "physical exertion" wasn't a thing. He gloatingly grinned and clicked on the comments.

DR heavenly ailuropoda melanoleuca U R wrng. "PE" isnt rel.
(Dear - you are wrong. Physical exertion isn't real)

GOOP smirked self satisfied. That would teach that vile little black and white creature to say that ever again. Suddenly a little blue bookmark with a number one popped up on GOOPs upper right screen. GOOP stared at it in consternation. What did that mean? GOOP looked down at the comments and gasped, all his quadruple chins wobbling. There was a reply to his comment from that Asian bear of heavenliness. He clicked voice control and waited. "It does exist. Please fix your grammar." GOOP felt murderous, he felt a raging fire in himself as he stared at the comment. He felt like killing everyone one the video game CS:GO. So he paused and took a break to play CS:GO. After getting one kill and 982739 deaths GOOP rage quitted and went back to Db8.org. He pondered what to say now. He sat back and wondered whether physical exertion actually existed. After about two seconds of agonizingly long pondering GOOP came to a conclusion. That this Chinese little disgusting vile bear of heavenliness was wrong!

"PE" isnt rel. U LI.
(Physical exertion isn't real. You lie.)

GOOP smirked at that. That would stump that white and black heavenly creature who was trying to dash GOOPs dreams of sharing his love for video games with the world. Suddenly another blue bookmark appeared in GOOPs screen. GOOP grumbled with consternation, perturbed by it. He looked back at the comments and gasped again.

That little creature of heavenliness had replied. "It does exist. Please fix your grammar." GOOP rage quit Db8.org and went back to playing CS:GO. After rage quitting that again he went back to the comments. Finally he decided he would stay adamant to his theory.

PE isnt rel. U R stpd.
(Physical Exertion isn't real. You are stupid.)

GOOP grinned at the last part. That would be enough to make anyone rage quit. Suddenly another blue bookmark appeared. GOOP growled in anger. What was this dumb little blue thing in the corner of his screen? He looked down at the comments and gasped. The most heavenly creature who's origins came from China had not rage quit! In fact it had replied!!! "It does exist. You're just uninformed." GOOP felt like rage quitting again but he couldn't let this little bear of black and white and heavenliness to beat him.

PE isnt rel. + VGs hv MAD SKILLS.
(Physical Exertion isn't real. Plus video games have mad skills.)

GOOP gloated at that. He always liked to tell others that video games had more skill than anything else in the world. Of course he that was before he had dropped out of school. The blue bookmark popped up and GOOP screamed in frustration. GOOPs mom was instantly down wondering what had upset her little pumpkin. GOOP grunted at the blue marker that had popped up with with tears in his eyes.
HeavenlyPanda. The most heavenly of all heavenly creatures.
HeavenlyPanda
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7/15/2016 1:40:08 PM
Posted: 4 months ago
"Oh sweetie, that's to show that someone's replied to you post or something," GOOPs mom explained. Dawning crossed GOOPs face as if he had just found out that a truck load of twinkies were being dropped off. GOOPs mom left him and GOOP turned to the screen feeling enlightened and a whole lot more smart. "Show me." Was the reply. GOOP clenched his fist. He would show this vile little bear of heavenliness. He would video tape himself destroying people with his mad skills on CS:GO! Once the camera was set up, GOOP started a game. GOOP focused, screwing up his face into what he thought was a frown (in reality it looked like he was in pure silent agony) and started playing. Once the round was done GOOP laughed victoriously. He had landed a kill and had died only 8263827 times. He loaded the video and posted it on Db8.org. That'll show them. He thought. Soon I'll be a professional gamer. A blue bookmark popped up and GOOP looked intently at the comments section squinting. "Hahaha" GOOP frowned. What did "hahaha" mean? Suddenly a dawning came over GOOP again. That devilish little ailuropoda melanoleuca of heaven was laughing at him. GOOP felt the biggest "rage quit" rage come over him. But he couldn't let this creature get the best of him.

FK U U dumAs *{%*]*]^{*]*{%%{*]^]^]*{*#!|>\*~|"!!!!!!
(I don't think I need to translate this)

With that GOOP trashed his laptop in anger and never went back to the website ever again. Unknown to GOOP, people had posted the video to YouTube with the caption "Fat person gets destroyed in CS:GO" The video was a major hit and became viral and GOOP became famous.

The End

Morale of the Story
Follow your dreams and you will get rewarded.

Does anybody else have GOOP stories?
Can anyone guess who GOOP was?
HeavenlyPanda. The most heavenly of all heavenly creatures.
fire_wings
Posts: 5,563
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9/20/2016 12:00:01 PM
Posted: 2 months ago
At 7/15/2016 1:39:47 PM, HeavenlyPanda wrote:
Chapter 2

Once upon a cyber space there was a Grumpy Old Online Person (GOOP). Now this GOOP was quite the avid gamer and loved to play video games. And while GOOP was passionate about his love for video games, he wasn't all that intelligent. Unknown to him, GOOP would one day become famous for his passion of video games.

Now one day this GOOP decided that he would go viral with his passion for video games. And he decided to do than on a website called Db8.org. Now this website was already filled with intelligent beings capable of speech so GOOP felt helplessly outmatched. For GOOP in his passion for video games had dropped out of school and now lived in his parents basement playing video games. He played day and night and never got up to do anything. In fact, his parents had to install a toilet seat in the sofa that GOOP sat on.

So GOOP in his pondering decided to play CS:GO. A video game of ultimate talent, intelligence and skill! This would make GOOP as intelligent as all the rest of the people on Db8.org! Once GOOP had played for a whole week day and night he finally felt ready. He had reached the rank of player #973628648363 on the leader boards and was feeling pretty good about himself. GOOP then went to go make himself an account.

GOOP grunted in consternation as he tried to understand what all the little buttons on his keyboard meant. For GOOP could only understand seven letters. A, X, Y, B, R, T, and L. The rest were difficult for GOOP. GOOP looked at the box where he was suppose to fill out something.

"Mommy!" GOOP cried feeling upset that he didn't understand this. GOOPs mother came rushing down in a panicked flurry.

"What is it GOOP deary," GOOPs mother crooned. "What's the problem?" GOOP stared in consternation at the screen and grunted at it. GOOP as you can see was a man of few words. His mother instantly understood and fluttered over to him like a butterfly. GOOPs mother translated for him and typed for him, finally glad that her little baby boy was actually putting his brain to use.

GOOP felt like bursting with joy when his account was finally made. The very first thing he'd do was set up an opinion about video games. GOOP With his mothers help set up an opinion.

"Now GOOP be a good little boy," his mother said. "I have to go make dinner, have fun." GOOPs mom was bursting with pride that her son was finally applying his brain to good use. GOOP smiled, his yellow teeth showing beneath his chubby lips (for of course he hadn't brushed his teeth ever since he dropped out of school) Now where to start? He looked at the box but he wasn't sure what it said. Suddenly GOOP had a brilliant idea. He turned on voice control. He then clicked on the words.

"Opinions." GOOP frowned he-

"Write your opinion." GOOP pondered what he would write. When he had decided on what to write he looked at the keyboard. He tapped the R and an R showed up on the screen. Smiling he began to type. After the first letter he paused. He wasn't sure how to type the rest of the sentence. Suddenly another bright idea hit GOOP. He communicated to other video game players through text talk! GOOP was actually quite fluent in text talk.

R VGs OK 4 PPL?
(Are video games ok for people?)

GOOP laid back on his sofa pleased and clicked the "Post" button. GOOP waited for people to reply. But nobody did. GOOP grunted in consternation again, his quadruple chins wobbling. Finally GOOP had enough of wasting time. He decided he'd look for an opinion. He went back to the opinions page and looked at all the opinions. He activated voice control and got to work.

"Are Asians Smart?" Well, of course not, GOOP thought indignantly. Asians came from Asiana right? Just like Americans can from America. Asians weren't smart, GOOP chuckled.

"Should Donald Trump be president?" GOOP Pondered that thoughtfully. And after about two seconds he came up blank so he skipped that opinion.

"Should video games be a sport?" GOOPs eyes widened. There was a question about video games. He quickly clicked it. There was only one reply and it was in the "no" column. GOOP grumbled at that for he, a man of 35 understood what "no" meant. He clicked the yes column and began to write.

Bcuz VGs R OK 4 U. + VGs R amzing. Y U hate N VGs?
(Because video games are ok for you. Plus video games are amazing. Why you hate on video games?)

He then looked at the no reply and clicked on voice control. It read to him "Video games should not be a sport because they have no physical exertion." It was written by a bear from heaven. GOOP contemplated what "physical exertion" meant for his brain could not understand those two words. Finally GOOP concluded that "physical exertion" wasn't a thing. He gloatingly grinned and clicked on the comments.

DR heavenly ailuropoda melanoleuca U R wrng. "PE" isnt rel.
(Dear - you are wrong. Physical exertion isn't real)

GOOP smirked self satisfied. That would teach that vile little black and white creature to say that ever again. Suddenly a little blue bookmark with a number one popped up on GOOPs upper right screen. GOOP stared at it in consternation. What did that mean? GOOP looked down at the comments and gasped, all his quadruple chins wobbling. There was a reply to his comment from that Asian bear of heavenliness. He clicked voice control and waited. "It does exist. Please fix your grammar." GOOP felt murderous, he felt a raging fire in himself as he stared at the comment. He felt like killing everyone one the video game CS:GO. So he paused and took a break to play CS:GO. After getting one kill and 982739 deaths GOOP rage quitted and went back to Db8.org. He pondered what to say now. He sat back and wondered whether physical exertion actually existed. After about two seconds of agonizingly long pondering GOOP came to a conclusion. That this Chinese little disgusting vile bear of heavenliness was wrong!

"PE" isnt rel. U LI.
(Physical exertion isn't real. You lie.)

GOOP smirked at that. That would stump that white and black heavenly creature who was trying to dash GOOPs dreams of sharing his love for video games with the world. Suddenly another blue bookmark appeared in GOOPs screen. GOOP grumbled with consternation, perturbed by it. He looked back at the comments and gasped again.

That little creature of heavenliness had replied. "It does exist. Please fix your grammar." GOOP rage quit Db8.org and went back to playing CS:GO. After rage quitting that again he went back to the comments. Finally he decided he would stay adamant to his theory.

PE isnt rel. U R stpd.
(Physical Exertion isn't real. You are stupid.)

GOOP grinned at the last part. That would be enough to make anyone rage quit. Suddenly another blue bookmark appeared. GOOP growled in anger. What was this dumb little blue thing in the corner of his screen? He looked down at the comments and gasped. The most heavenly creature who's origins came from China had not rage quit! In fact it had replied!!! "It does exist. You're just uninformed." GOOP felt like rage quitting again but he couldn't let this little bear of black and white and heavenliness to beat him.

PE isnt rel. + VGs hv MAD SKILLS.
(Physical Exertion isn't real. Plus video games have mad skills.)

GOOP gloated at that. He always liked to tell others that video games had more skill than anything else in the world. Of course he that was before he had dropped out of school. The blue bookmark popped up and GOOP screamed in frustration. GOOPs mom was instantly down wondering what had upset her little pumpkin. GOOP grunted at the blue marker that had popped up with with tears in his eyes.

ds jpk2
#ALLHAILFIRETHEKINGOFTHEMISCFORUM

...it's not a new policy... it's just that DDO was built on an ancient burial ground, and that means the spirits of old rise again to cause us problems sometimes- Airmax1227

Wtf you must have an IQ of 250 if you're 11 and already decent at this- 16k

Go to sleep!!!!- missmozart

So to start off, I never committed suicide- Vaarka