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DDOlympics: Diqui/Uther (mostly Diqiu)

UtherPenguin
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9/18/2016 5:51:45 PM
Posted: 2 months ago
(Part 1)

Variations on a Theme in B Minor


Introduzione.

"Thump. Thump. Thump""

The heartbeat gently faded away, like the first theme in Liszt"s B Minor sonata.

"Thump. Thump. Thump""

It happened again. The heart regained vitality, just to lose it again. He had to take action.

He was a medical doctor, not a paramedic. But he knew his first-aid techniques well.

"Thump. THUMP THUMP! Thump" thump thump. Thump..."

The heartbeat was irregular at first, but died down again. Oh, what had he done what had he done! What had he done!

Loud chords rang in his ears. He covered his ears, only to hear the sound amplified. He shook his head frantically, trying to get the Crux Fidelis theme out of his head. Then he awoke, sweating all over. It was 2:03 in the morning.

He began breathing fast again. Tears rushed out of his eyes, as water rushes from springs. "I am monster! I am a monster!" As sweat mingled with tears, he covered his head with his blanket. "I am sorry!"

***

Tema.

"I hereby promise to do everything in my ability to help others, and never to hurt; to aid my fellow countrymen in times of need, and never to betray my nation or its people for personal gain, no matter how appealing the rewards".

"In my capacity as prefect at Createdebate Elementary School, I hereby promise to uphold the Principal"s rules, resolve and mediate conflicts between my fellow schoolmates, and protect the reputation of the institution I call my school."

Mr Steele smiled. He knew Little Uther would go on to do great things. He knew it. What he did not know was the fact that the city was surrounded with soldiers.

***

45 Art Forum, DDOLand, 12/7/2106.

"A pleasant exhibition, isn"t it?" remarked Diqiucun_Cunmin.

Uther smiled. "Of course, man. Thanks for brining me here."

"Oh, it"s nothing. After all, you did-"

Before Diqiu could finish, Uther cut him off. "Oh, no, no, don"t mention it," he said sternly, with a dash of axiety.

Diqiu shrugged. Uther - the great doctor - had saved his life, the biggest favour anyone had ever returned to him. He didn"t know why, but Uther would interrupt awkwardly whenever the incident was brought up. Knowing Uther"s character, he never asked why - but he had been ruminating about the question on a regular basis for years.

"Isn"t this painting just marvellous?" Diqiu asked, pointing at a Renoir piece. Sensing the awkwardness, he had to swifly change the topic.

"Yes - it is as though the people have melted into the scenery, or perhaps the scenery has become part of the people. There is a slight suggestion of longing, of desire - as though the scenery had an oddly tantalising nature to it, but the people could not tell what exactly was luring them."

"Very true - and may I add, there seems to be a hint of acceptance in that girl"s face - as though she has understood that she will never find out."

"Hmmm" very deep. Very profound indeed."

The pair walked side by side for a little longer, making more empty, vacous pseudo-criticism as they paced down the Art Forum"s corridors, which was half-filled with cobwebs. As they proceeded, Uther"s voice got progressively shakier, and with trembling feet, he took every step with extra care.

At the far end, they were taken aback at the sight The Creation of Adam - though a moment"s reflection revealed that it was nothing more than an excellent replica. "This was how Adam was created," Diqiu commented. "Notice how Michelangelo has God point His finger at His creation - as if he were pleased with the fact that Adam was born thanks to His""

Without warning, Uther"s eyes widened and began to water. "Born of god! Oh, I am sorry! I have never meant to kill you!" He reached out to Diqiu, crying into his chest like a baby. Diqiu handed him handkerchiefs, puzzled as ever.

***

Variazione 1.

"

DC: Do you promise not to reveal the details of this transaction to a single soul?
UP: I promise.
DC: That"s not enough. I want you to be clear and unambiguous. If you promise, state what you are promising.
UP: I promise not to tell anyone about our transactions.
DC: Good. Do you promise to stay absolutely silent, even to the closest of your kin?
UP: I have lost all contact with my family, sir. I would have been conscripted, too, were it not for my injury.
DC: Look, I have studied Grice"s theory of conversational implicature, but I urge you to be precise.
UP: Yes, I promise to stay silent about this to my family.
DC: Do you promise not to leak the immigration interview questions to anyone? Even the obvious ones - like "Who is the President of DDO"?
UP: Yes, sir.

"

DC: Deal. Your certificate will be in your inbox by next week. Use the Rot browser at all times, and ensure Emorhc is completely uninstalled. We can settle the payment by cash when you arrive.
UP: The spammers have planned several DDOS attempts on our servers, sir. I cannot afford to wait, or I may not be able to access the Internet again. Can you complete it ASAP?
DC: I will attempt to send it by tomorrow night, but I am not making any promises.
UP: Thank you, sir.

--Conversation terminated 02:03:56, 17-6-2087 (GMT)--

***

23 Personal Forum, DDOland, 9/2/2107.

"Look, this really isn"t working out," she said with a deep, long sigh as she fiddled with the toothpick in her hand. "We have to talk. This can"t go on."

"Dear, I"m sorry I can"t spend as much time with you as I"d like" You know, the debate site is really lacking doctors - just look at the inactivity in the Health Forum. The DDO Elite wants me to work three additional hours -"

"Uther, you know this isn"t the problem. I - I understand the state of our medical sector, and how it"s constantly screwed up by the lack of labour supply, the surge in chronic diseases due to modern lifestyles, and the ageing population. That"s not the point." She put her hand gently on his neck, letting out another sigh. She looked in his eyes for a few seconds, waiting for him to speak, but he did not, so she continued.

"Each and every time we hang out together is spoiled by your tantrums. You have a psychiatric disorder. You"re psychotic! So... stop denying it! Wake up and smell the coffee! Your illness is a problem and you have to find a solution for it, or I don"t know how long our relationship can last."

"I"m sorry, dear," said Uther, his hands trembling as he put down his glass. Holding his fork in his fist, he erected it firmly in the spaghetti, flagpole-style, as if he were a small child playing with his food. He gulped, waiting for her to respond, but she did not. "I"m terribly sorry."

"Don"t say "I"m sorry," Uther. It serves no purpose. I want you to find a solution." She reached out her hands to his shoulder to shake him, but retreated her hands before she touched him.

His eyes remained fixated on hers. His hand still gripping the fork, he sank slightly into his chair, trembling. She shook her head. "I love you dearly, and I would do anything to help you change. Do not think for a moment that I enjoy reprimanding you - I do not, but your behaviour compels me to do so. I love you, dear, and I can only hope for a change of heart..."

The moment she finished her last word and her tongue departed from her alveolar ridge, tears welled up his eyes. He plated the fork deeper into the noodles, rising from his chair. "I cannot change my heart, my dear! I have already changed his! I"m sorry!" as he rushed to the bathroom.
"Praise Allah."
~YYW
UtherPenguin
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9/18/2016 5:52:43 PM
Posted: 2 months ago
(Part 2)

***

Variazione 2.

"I, UtherPenguin, do utterly testify and declare in my conscience that I shall renounce and foresake all allegiance to any other debate site, debate forum, polls forum, or sovereignty; that I shall henceforth bear true allegiance to A. Max and the DDO Elite, and shall, to my power, defend the Constitution and laws of Debate.org against all adverseries"

"So help me Phil."

***

34 Society Forum, DDOland, 20/6/2107

The social worker sifted through her pile of papers. After a few minutes, she finally succeeded in locating her patient"s report. She licked her lips and set the report down gently on the table.

"Is the psychiatrist here?" asked Uther.

"No, I"m afraid not. He is away at the moment, so I"m in charge. How have you been living your life?"

"My girlfriend has been arguing with me over my problems. I know I"m strange. I throw tantrums all the time for no particular reason, and she"s annoyed about it."

"I"ve talked to her about it, sir. I can tell that she has only genuine concern for you."

"You don"t have to defend her like that. I"m annoying, and I know it."

"You aren"t. You are, however, psychologically troubled, and we need to root out the causes of that."

"I"m not - I"m just - it"s just that - I cannot have full control over myself sometimes. It"s just - I don"t know, I"m triggered? You live in the Society Forum - you should be more than familiar with that kind of thing."

"And we want to know what"s triggering you, sir," replied the social worker, trying hard not to reveal her boredom. She had been through this too many times with him. She wondered if the patient would accuse him of microaggressions sooner or later.

"Well, enough with the chit-chat already - cut to the chase. Is the report out? What"s my grade?"

"I am sorry, sir, but the psychiatrist has released your report. He graded your psychological condition, on a scale of A+ to D, as B-. You may read the details of the report if you wish, but more importantly, I want to discuss with you-"

Uther nearly jumped out of his chair. "My blood type is what?"

"I was speaking of your grade, sir. You were graded-"

"It should have been me! I should have used my heart. I should have exchanged my heart for his!"

***

Variazione 3.

"I will use treatment to help the sick according to my ability and judgment, but never with a view to injury and wrong-doing. Neither will I administer a poison to anybody when asked to do so, nor will I suggest such a course....

"I will apply, for the benefit of the sick, all measures which are required, avoiding those twin traps of overtreatment and therapeutic nihilism "

***

52 Health Forum, DDOland, 2/2/2107

"We have another emergency case," said the nurse, her eyelids drooping.

"Another idiotic noob coming in after getting sniped?" asked Uther, shaking his head.

"As if that"s still significant after the forfeit bug appeared," the nurse muttered.

"Well, well. What is it then?"

"Car accident. Quick - he"s coming in."

As Uther watched three nurses carry in the patient on a stretcher, Uther"s heart began beating fast, and goosebumps appeared on his arms. "The case is serious, doc!" One of them exclaimed. He did not need the nurse to remind him - the face was disfigured beyond recognition, and the breast was covered in blood.

Uther saw the damage to his chest. He feared for the worst - he feared the functioning of the heart would be threatened. He had to act swiftly.

Half an hour later, Uther looked down at the patient, his whole body now trembling. It was the same haemorrhage he had seen ten years before. He reached out to the patient"s record book. The blood type was B negative.

He began to feel sick, but he tried to retain his composure. He reached out for the phial of medicine on the far end of his bed - from the same manufacturer as the medicine he had administered ten years before.

"I cannot do it! I cannot do this!" he cried.

As he looked down at the patient"s opened chest, he screamed in horror, and collapsed. Several nurses rushed to assist him, but he climbed up again. Grabbing his surgical knife and a curtain, he ran off to the lavatory, faster than he ever had.

"I cannot do this! I cannot do this!"

***

Coda.

I promised to help others and not hurt. I hurt others.

I promised to stay loyal to my nation. I fled it.

I promised to stay loyal to my new nation. I killed one of her subjects.

I promised to use my skills to aid the sick, and never with a view to poison. I poisoned.

I should have stayed in 2087. I should not be here. 2107, DDOland, they have no meaning to me. Fate had trapped me in 2087, but I escaped from it, only to be trapped by it again.

You can try to circumvent fate. You can play Tag with it, run from it, and disguise yourself from it in various colours, but fate will always catch up on you and identify you. A dictator"s decrees may be breached, but Heaven"s decree will always be observed.

Daniel Schubart wrote that B minor expressed a quiet acceptance of faith. Liszt rewrote the grandiose ending to his sonata, and replaced it with a gentle, contemplative reappearance of the first theme. So must our piece end.

THUMP thump, thump thump"
"Praise Allah."
~YYW
UtherPenguin
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9/18/2016 5:52:59 PM
Posted: 2 months ago
***

Epilogue.

The burial went as planned, and in accordance to tradition, the DDOers sat in alphabetical order. Brian and Dylan sat together.
"Praise Allah."
~YYW
missmozart
Posts: 306
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9/18/2016 6:02:35 PM
Posted: 2 months ago
Wow, well done guys. I literally had goosebumps by the end of the story. It was fantastic and I loved the references to art.
"Bonjour" -Feu

Diqiu: "Asian men are generally perceived as more feminine..."
Me: "Are you feminine?"
Diqiu: "Hey, no!"

"Do really really really good pens turn you on?" -Hayd

"bsh1's profile pic is what the snapchat filter would look like on steroids"- VOT

"let's keep it simple and traditional :D" -Biodome
The-Voice-of-Truth
Posts: 6,571
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9/18/2016 6:08:26 PM
Posted: 2 months ago
wow
Suh dude

"Because we all know who the most important snowflake in the wasteland is... It's YOU, champ! You're a special snowflake." -Vaarka, 01:30 in the hangouts

"Screw laying siege to Korea. That usually takes an hour or so." -Vaarka

"Crap, what is my religion again?" -Vaarka

I'm Rick Harrison and this is my pawn shop. I work here with my old man and my son, Big Hoss, and in 23 years I've learned one thing. You never know what is gonna come through that door.
Diqiucun_Cunmin
Posts: 2,710
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9/19/2016 3:53:16 AM
Posted: 2 months ago
Note: Because of formatting issues in the DDO forum, I have put up our Google Doc here: https://docs.google.com...

The special characters (in particular ...) should appear normally there. Sorry for not fixing this earlier.
The thing is, I hate relativism. I hate relativism more than I hate everything else, excepting, maybe, fibreglass powerboats... What it overlooks, to put it briefly and crudely, is the fixed structure of human nature. - Jerry Fodor

Don't be a stat cynic:
http://www.debate.org...

Response to conservative views on deforestation:
http://www.debate.org...

Topics I'd like to debate (not debating ATM): http://tinyurl.com...
Diqiucun_Cunmin
Posts: 2,710
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9/19/2016 4:09:54 AM
Posted: 2 months ago
Thanks guys - glad you liked the story. The bulk of it was written in the last two days (in particular the last two hours), which was why some of the sentences were longer than they should be, and some of the word choices were not as varied, precise and accurate as they could be.

I was wondering if you understood the whole story? The idea was to reveal it bit by bit, though I'm not sure if it's too hard or too easy to figure out the plot.
The thing is, I hate relativism. I hate relativism more than I hate everything else, excepting, maybe, fibreglass powerboats... What it overlooks, to put it briefly and crudely, is the fixed structure of human nature. - Jerry Fodor

Don't be a stat cynic:
http://www.debate.org...

Response to conservative views on deforestation:
http://www.debate.org...

Topics I'd like to debate (not debating ATM): http://tinyurl.com...