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Blond Jokes

yay842
Posts: 5,680
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10/7/2013 7:32:17 PM
Posted: 3 years ago
I dedicate this topic to the best Blond Jokes.
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PatriotPerson
Posts: 1,062
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10/7/2013 7:38:11 PM
Posted: 3 years ago
At 10/7/2013 7:32:17 PM, yay842 wrote:
I dedicate this topic to the best Blond Jokes.

How do you drown a blond? Put a scratch & sniff sticker on the bottom of a pool.
"Victory has a thousand fathers, but defeat is an orphan" -JFK
"You all stink like poo poo" - Rich Davis
"That idea may just be crazy enough... TO GET US ALL KILLED!" -Squidward Tentacles
"My heart is always breaking for the ghosts that haunt this room." -Nate Ruess
yay842
Posts: 5,680
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10/9/2013 7:00:42 PM
Posted: 3 years ago
How do you confuse a blond?
Wear green and throw forks at her.
30 Important Life Lessons
http://www.debate.org...
20 Terrifying Two-Sentence Horrors
http://www.debate.org...
20 Jokes That Only Geniuses Will Understand
http://www.debate.org...
Name One Song That Can't Match This GIF
http://d24w6bsrhbeh9d.cloudfront.net...
yay842
Posts: 5,680
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10/12/2013 2:00:05 AM
Posted: 3 years ago
The lawyer was naturally bored, so he kept bugging the blonde to play a game of intelligence with him.

The blonde was reluctant, so the lawyer offered her 10 to 1 odds. He told her that every time she could not answer his question, she owed him $5, but every time he could not answer hers, he'd give her $50. The lawyer figured the blonde was so dumb, he could not lose, and the blonde thought for a few minutes and reluctantly accepted to play his game.

The lawyer fires his first question "What is the distance between the Earth and the nearest star?"

Without saying a word the blonde handed him $5. The blonde then asked the lawyer "What goes up a hill with 3 legs and comes back down the hill with 4 legs?"

The lawyer's face looked extremely puzzled. He spent several hours, looking up everything he could on his laptop and even placing numerous air-to-ground phone calls trying to figure out the answer. Finally, the angry and frustrated lawyer handed the blonde $50.00.

The blonde put the $50 into her purse quickly without saying a word. The lawyer was outraged at this point and asked, "Well, what is answer?"

The blonde glanced at him with a smirk on her face and handed him a $5 bill.
30 Important Life Lessons
http://www.debate.org...
20 Terrifying Two-Sentence Horrors
http://www.debate.org...
20 Jokes That Only Geniuses Will Understand
http://www.debate.org...
Name One Song That Can't Match This GIF
http://d24w6bsrhbeh9d.cloudfront.net...
mikicat10
Posts: 1
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10/21/2013 3:00:45 AM
Posted: 3 years ago
Two blondes walk into a bar, the brunette ducks.

A young brunette goes into the doctor's office and says that her body hurts wherever she touches it.
"Impossible," says the doctor. "Show me."

She takes her finger and pushes her elbow and screams in agony. She pushes her knee and screams, pushes her ankle and screams and so it goes on, everywhere she touches makes her scream.

The doctor says, "You're not really a brunette, are you?"

She says, "No, I'm really a blonde."

"I thought so," he says. "Your finger is broken.

Blonde was down on her luck. In order to raise some money, she decided to kidnap a kid and hold him for ransom.
She went to the playground, grabbed a kid, took him behind a tree, and told him, "I`ve kidnapped you."

She then wrote a note saying, "I`ve kidnapped your kid. Tomorrow morning, put $10,000 in a paper bag and put it under the pecan tree next to the slide on the north side of the playground. Signed, Blonde."

The Blonde then taped the note to the kid`s shirt and sent him home to show it to his parents.

The next morning the blonde checked, and sure enough, a paper bag was sitting beneath the pecan tree.

The blonde opened the bag and found the $10,000 with a note that said, "How could you do this to a fellow Blonde?"
A blonde went to the appliance store sale and found a bargain. "I would like to buy this TV," she told the salesman.
"Sorry, we don't sell to blondes," he replied.

The blonde was very angry about this. She hurried home and dyed her hair, then came back and again told the salesman, "I would like to buy this TV."

"Sorry, we don't sell to blondes," he replied.

The blonde did not know how the salesman had recognized her. This time, she got a haircut and new color, a new outfit and big sunglasses. She then waited a few days before she approached the salesman.

"I would like to buy this TV."

"Sorry, we don't sell to blondes," he replied.

Frustrated, she exclaimed, "How do you know I'm a blonde?"

"Because that's a microwave," he replied

Read more: http://www.cracked.com...
yay842
Posts: 5,680
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12/4/2013 11:32:55 PM
Posted: 3 years ago
How do you confuse a blond?
Do nothing.
30 Important Life Lessons
http://www.debate.org...
20 Terrifying Two-Sentence Horrors
http://www.debate.org...
20 Jokes That Only Geniuses Will Understand
http://www.debate.org...
Name One Song That Can't Match This GIF
http://d24w6bsrhbeh9d.cloudfront.net...
Josh_b
Posts: 1,119
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12/16/2013 5:16:22 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
What's the difference between a group of aborigine lawyers and a ladies track team. One is a bunch of cunning runts, the other is a group of ... Well you get it.
Scrutiny Welcome

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lannan13
Posts: 23,062
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12/18/2013 4:45:07 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
How do you sink a submarine full of blondes?
Knock on the Door.
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If the sky's the limit then why do we have footprints on the Moon? I'm shooting my aspirations for the stars.

"If you are going through hell, keep going." "Sir Winston Churchill

"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." "Eleanor Roosevelt

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lannan13
Posts: 23,062
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12/18/2013 4:45:39 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
What do you call it when a blond dyes her hair?
Artificial intelligance.
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If the sky's the limit then why do we have footprints on the Moon? I'm shooting my aspirations for the stars.

"If you are going through hell, keep going." "Sir Winston Churchill

"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." "Eleanor Roosevelt

Topics I want to debate. (http://tinyurl.com...)
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lannan13
Posts: 23,062
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12/18/2013 4:46:19 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
Why did the blond scale a glass wall?
To see what was on the other side.
-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-Lannan13'S SIGNATURE-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-

If the sky's the limit then why do we have footprints on the Moon? I'm shooting my aspirations for the stars.

"If you are going through hell, keep going." "Sir Winston Churchill

"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." "Eleanor Roosevelt

Topics I want to debate. (http://tinyurl.com...)
-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~
nohandlebars
Posts: 1
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12/31/2013 7:44:15 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
There was a blond, brunette and a redhead.

They were at the beach, and stopped at the cliff. when a genie appeared to them, and said, " I will grant you all the wishes you want, for whatever you want if you jump off this cliff."

So the brunette goes first and jumps off, and says, "Seagull!" And she turns into a seagull and flies off.

The redhead approaches and jumps off and she wishes, " Whale!" And then she swims away.

The blond, nervous approaches, and accidently slips and yells, "S-hit!"
Cheetah
Posts: 106
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1/1/2014 4:26:41 AM
Posted: 2 years ago
A blond sold her car for gas money.
A blond got locked in the grocery store and starved.
A blond failed a survey.