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Joke of the Day

yay842
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1/12/2014 3:33:27 AM
Posted: 2 years ago
because this forum has no point anyway
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yay842
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1/12/2014 3:33:33 AM
Posted: 2 years ago
Q: What does D.A.M stand for?
A: Mothers Against Dyslexia.
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yay842
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1/13/2014 7:24:32 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
Q: Why does a traffic light turn red?
A: If you had to change in front of everyone, you'd turn red, too.
30 Important Life Lessons
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20 Jokes That Only Geniuses Will Understand
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Name One Song That Can't Match This GIF
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yay842
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1/14/2014 7:26:06 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
An old couple prepares to go to sleep. The man gets in bed, but the woman lies down on the floor.
The old man asks, "Why are you on the floor?"

The old woman says, "Because I want to feel something hard for a change."
30 Important Life Lessons
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20 Terrifying Two-Sentence Horrors
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20 Jokes That Only Geniuses Will Understand
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Name One Song That Can't Match This GIF
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yay842
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1/15/2014 8:26:26 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
The better part of you must have rolled down your daddy's leg.
30 Important Life Lessons
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Name One Song That Can't Match This GIF
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yay842
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1/16/2014 12:24:55 AM
Posted: 2 years ago
Why did the Italian boy want to grow a mustache?
So he could look like his mama.
30 Important Life Lessons
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20 Terrifying Two-Sentence Horrors
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20 Jokes That Only Geniuses Will Understand
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Name One Song That Can't Match This GIF
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yay842
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1/17/2014 12:28:59 AM
Posted: 2 years ago
Q: Why did the kid throw the clock out the window?
A: He wanted to see time fly.
30 Important Life Lessons
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20 Jokes That Only Geniuses Will Understand
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Name One Song That Can't Match This GIF
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yay842
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1/17/2014 11:16:50 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
Q: What's better than roses on a piano?
A: Tulips on my organ.
30 Important Life Lessons
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20 Jokes That Only Geniuses Will Understand
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Name One Song That Can't Match This GIF
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DudeStop
Posts: 1,278
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1/17/2014 11:40:44 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 1/12/2014 3:33:27 AM, yay842 wrote:
because this forum has no point anyway

Tremendous support from a far reaching audience I see.
yay842
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1/19/2014 1:43:48 AM
Posted: 2 years ago
Can I come over and judge you by the books on your shelf?
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20 Jokes That Only Geniuses Will Understand
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Name One Song That Can't Match This GIF
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Buckethead31594
Posts: 363
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1/19/2014 2:02:53 AM
Posted: 2 years ago
Q: what did the muscular farmer say when his wife asked him why he was missing for a few hours?

A: "Sorry, I was tendon to da calves."

I made this one up!
"By all means, marry. If you get a good wife, you'll become happy; if you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher." - Socrates
yay842
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1/19/2014 2:08:15 AM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 1/19/2014 2:02:53 AM, Buckethead31594 wrote:
Q: what did the muscular farmer say when his wife asked him why he was missing for a few hours?

A: "Sorry, I was tendon to da calves."


I made this one up!

http://cdn.alltheragefaces.com...
30 Important Life Lessons
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20 Terrifying Two-Sentence Horrors
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20 Jokes That Only Geniuses Will Understand
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Name One Song That Can't Match This GIF
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Buckethead31594
Posts: 363
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1/19/2014 2:13:31 AM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 1/19/2014 2:08:15 AM, yay842 wrote:
At 1/19/2014 2:02:53 AM, Buckethead31594 wrote:
Q: what did the muscular farmer say when his wife asked him why he was missing for a few hours?

A: "Sorry, I was tendon to da calves."


I made this one up!

http://cdn.alltheragefaces.com...

http://nyulocal.com...
"By all means, marry. If you get a good wife, you'll become happy; if you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher." - Socrates
yay842
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1/20/2014 12:07:39 AM
Posted: 2 years ago
Why don't chickens wear underwear?
Because their peckers are on their faces!
30 Important Life Lessons
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20 Terrifying Two-Sentence Horrors
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20 Jokes That Only Geniuses Will Understand
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Name One Song That Can't Match This GIF
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yay842
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1/21/2014 10:33:26 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
Q: Have you heard about the man who did it with a parakeet?

A: He contracted chirpes. And the worst thing? It was untweetable.
30 Important Life Lessons
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20 Terrifying Two-Sentence Horrors
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20 Jokes That Only Geniuses Will Understand
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Name One Song That Can't Match This GIF
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yay842
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1/22/2014 8:19:07 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 1/22/2014 2:38:48 AM, cbcullen84 wrote:
What's black on the top and white on the bottom?

Rape.

OUT!
30 Important Life Lessons
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20 Terrifying Two-Sentence Horrors
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20 Jokes That Only Geniuses Will Understand
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Name One Song That Can't Match This GIF
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yay842
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1/22/2014 8:20:06 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
A blonde with two burnt ears went to the doctor, who asked what had happened.
"The phone rang, and I accidentally picked up the iron."

"What about the other one?"

"They called back."
30 Important Life Lessons
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20 Terrifying Two-Sentence Horrors
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20 Jokes That Only Geniuses Will Understand
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Name One Song That Can't Match This GIF
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sadolite
Posts: 8,837
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1/22/2014 8:37:05 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 1/19/2014 1:43:48 AM, yay842 wrote:
Can I come over and judge you by the books on your shelf?

I would have no problem with that. They are all contractor and service manuals.
It's not your views that divide us, it's what you think my views should be that divides us.

If you think I will give up my rights and forsake social etiquette to make you "FEEL" better you are sadly mistaken

If liberal democrats would just stop shooting people gun violence would drop by 90%
yay842
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1/22/2014 11:57:25 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
I slap a star on this one:

How do you keep someone stupid occupied?
By telling them this joke.
30 Important Life Lessons
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20 Terrifying Two-Sentence Horrors
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20 Jokes That Only Geniuses Will Understand
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Name One Song That Can't Match This GIF
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yay842
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1/26/2014 4:04:24 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
My doctor is so funny - he keeps me in stitches!
30 Important Life Lessons
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20 Terrifying Two-Sentence Horrors
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20 Jokes That Only Geniuses Will Understand
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Name One Song That Can't Match This GIF
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yay842
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1/27/2014 12:44:56 AM
Posted: 2 years ago
Why did God create economists?
To make weathermen look good!
30 Important Life Lessons
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20 Terrifying Two-Sentence Horrors
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20 Jokes That Only Geniuses Will Understand
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Name One Song That Can't Match This GIF
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yay842
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1/27/2014 11:38:44 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
I was actually thinking about getting penal enlargement surgery -- thought I'd share that with everybody. But the surgery is dangerous, and it's really expensive. But I found this great, safe alternative to penal enlargement surgery: the metric system.
30 Important Life Lessons
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20 Terrifying Two-Sentence Horrors
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20 Jokes That Only Geniuses Will Understand
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Name One Song That Can't Match This GIF
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Jonbonbon
Posts: 2,759
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1/29/2014 8:21:16 AM
Posted: 2 years ago
Am I allowed to post in this?
The Troll Queen.

I'm also the Troll Goddess of Reason. Sacrifices are appreciated but not necessary.

"I'm a vivacious sex fiend," SolonKR.

Go vote on one of my debates. I'm not that smart, so it'll probably be an easy decision.

Fite me m9
thedebatekid
Posts: 1,211
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1/29/2014 12:50:25 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 1/29/2014 8:21:16 AM, Jonbonbon wrote:
Am I allowed to post in this?

No
How many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of the tootsie pop? 1, 2, 3, *crunch* SON OF A !@#%!@#$!@$%$^^$$#%!!!

Expanse: Trapped in Reality
- Looking for Criticism
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yay842
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1/29/2014 7:13:24 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 1/29/2014 8:21:16 AM, Jonbonbon wrote:
Am I allowed to post in this?

sure, why not? there is no rule that says you can't. I just use this to post jokes of the day
30 Important Life Lessons
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20 Terrifying Two-Sentence Horrors
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20 Jokes That Only Geniuses Will Understand
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Name One Song That Can't Match This GIF
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yay842
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1/29/2014 7:13:42 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
What's the difference between a lawyer and an amoeba?
One wears a tie.
30 Important Life Lessons
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20 Terrifying Two-Sentence Horrors
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20 Jokes That Only Geniuses Will Understand
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Name One Song That Can't Match This GIF
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yay842
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1/30/2014 8:57:38 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
A skeleton walks into a bar. The bartender says, "What'll you have?"
The skeleton says, "A beer and a mop."
30 Important Life Lessons
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20 Terrifying Two-Sentence Horrors
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20 Jokes That Only Geniuses Will Understand
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Name One Song That Can't Match This GIF
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DudeStop
Posts: 1,278
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1/30/2014 9:05:01 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 1/30/2014 8:57:38 PM, yay842 wrote:
A skeleton walks into a bar. The bartender says, "What'll you have?"
The skeleton says, "A beer and a mop."

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHHAHAHAHA-

it wasn't funny.
yay842
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1/30/2014 9:06:58 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
At 1/30/2014 9:05:01 PM, DudeStop wrote:
At 1/30/2014 8:57:38 PM, yay842 wrote:
A skeleton walks into a bar. The bartender says, "What'll you have?"
The skeleton says, "A beer and a mop."

it wasn't funny.

no matter, i just post one RANDOM joke here every day because no jokes in the funny section are funny anyway
30 Important Life Lessons
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20 Terrifying Two-Sentence Horrors
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20 Jokes That Only Geniuses Will Understand
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Name One Song That Can't Match This GIF
http://d24w6bsrhbeh9d.cloudfront.net...
yay842
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1/31/2014 7:14:03 PM
Posted: 2 years ago
Q: What did the apple say to the worm?
A: You're boring me.
30 Important Life Lessons
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20 Terrifying Two-Sentence Horrors
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20 Jokes That Only Geniuses Will Understand
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Name One Song That Can't Match This GIF
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