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Do you know any good jokes?

LiberalProlifer
Posts: 803
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4/13/2015 5:57:26 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 4/13/2015 5:50:03 PM, Wylted wrote:
At 4/13/2015 5:47:12 PM, LiberalProlifer wrote:
I am bored so I am asking.

Yes I do

Did you hear about the gay couple that went into the construction business? Their names were Ben Dover and Phil McCrackin. ;)
Wylted
Posts: 21,167
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4/13/2015 6:10:28 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 4/13/2015 5:57:26 PM, LiberalProlifer wrote:
At 4/13/2015 5:50:03 PM, Wylted wrote:
At 4/13/2015 5:47:12 PM, LiberalProlifer wrote:
I am bored so I am asking.

Yes I do

Did you hear about the gay couple that went into the construction business? Their names were Ben Dover and Phil McCrackin. ;)

Did you hear the energizer bunny was arrested?

Yeah apparently he was charged with battery.

In unrelated news, Mr Peanut was walking through the park and go assaulted.
leojm
Posts: 1,825
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4/16/2015 9:06:13 AM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 4/13/2015 5:57:26 PM, LiberalProlifer wrote:
At 4/13/2015 5:50:03 PM, Wylted wrote:
At 4/13/2015 5:47:12 PM, LiberalProlifer wrote:
I am bored so I am asking.

Yes I do

Did you hear about the gay couple that went into the construction business? Their names were Ben Dover and Phil McCrackin. ;)

haha
leojm
Posts: 1,825
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4/16/2015 9:12:58 AM
Posted: 1 year ago
A husband and wife are trying to set up a new password for their computer. The husband puts, "Mypenis," and the wife falls on the ground laughing because on the screen it says, "Error. Not long enough."

I'm crying from laughter.
Gustav_Adolf_II
Posts: 80
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4/20/2015 1:09:13 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
Some of these aren't really jokes but they're funny.

Being a fan of something is like having a penis, it's fine as long as you don't go around shoving it down other people's throats.

What's the difference between America and yogurt? If you leave yogurt alone for 200 years it'll develop a culture.

You're so short even when you smoke weed you can't get high!

America spent $308 billion on world war II, you might say it was holocaust-ly!

A seal walks into a club - it died.
"Quoting yourself only makes you look like an arrogant jerk" - Gustav_Adolf_II
komododragon8
Posts: 405
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4/20/2015 1:16:49 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 4/13/2015 5:47:12 PM, LiberalProlifer wrote:
I am bored so I am asking.

Why did Sally fall off the swing?

She had no arms

Hey knock knock

who's there?

Not Sally
ButterCatX
Posts: 2,228
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4/20/2015 1:53:39 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
Where did sally go during the bombing raid?

Everywhere
I bet fanfics are already being posted on random blogs about us.-Vaarka

Butters preformed his duty to the town and died with honor, he helped us kill scum, so we know have to go and make sure his death wasn't in vain and win this game for him.-lannan13

All hail the great and mighty Butters, who died for our inactive cause.-Vaarka

fuckith offith, lol.-Ore(talking to me)

And guess what happened to FT? He got raped to death.-Xlav

You are so obviously town I love you man.-VOT
LiberalProlifer
Posts: 803
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4/20/2015 2:02:03 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 4/20/2015 1:16:49 PM, komododragon8 wrote:
At 4/13/2015 5:47:12 PM, LiberalProlifer wrote:
I am bored so I am asking.

Why did Sally fall off the swing?

She had no arms

Hey knock knock

who's there?
I have no idea. Why?
Not Sally

I have no idea. Why?
Surrealism
Posts: 265
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4/21/2015 12:53:18 AM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 4/21/2015 12:25:25 AM, Benshapiro wrote:
A blind man walks into a bar
And a chair and a table

A guy falls into a river.

...

Dam it.
Ceci n'est pas une signature.
FaustianJustice
Posts: 6,238
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4/25/2015 5:57:52 AM
Posted: 1 year ago
A priest a rabbi and a sheik walk into a bar, bar tender looks up and asks "What is this, some kind of a joke?"

This next joke involves the long and slow play, preferably using 2 people over the course of the dinner party.

Basically, prankster 1 introduces himself to the group, and some how guides the conversation to to a personal anecdote, that being doing chores, through some horseplay, during construction of a garden patio, prankster 1 and his pal were throwing bricks to each other to speed the process along. Prankster 1 bets his worker he can get the longest hang time, and relates, with as straight face possible, that between the two of them, a brick was hucked into the air.... and never came down.

Dinner party continues.

Prankster 2, some where along the line introduces himself. He proceeds to relate a personal anecdote about travel, specifically commuter flights on a small prop plane. The story goes thusly:
"Cramped cabin, these planes, and of course I get paired up with some of the worst people, some over bearing guy wanting to light a stogie, and some woman with an annoying yapper dog. Anyhoo, flight takes off, and the dog starts getting sick, and making all sorts of noise. The cigar guy gets it in his mind that if that dog doesn't have to shut up, he can light up. The dog of course goes ape, doesn't like the cigar smoke. The woman, in a fit of indignation grabs his cigar, opens the door to the cabin, and tosses it out. The man, with the same look of indignation seizes her dog, and gives it the same treatment given the cigar! I wrestle the door closed, this is too much... so a few minutes go by, and we hear a yammering outside... darned if that dog is not out on the wing, and guess what it has in its mouth!"

Usually, the obvious answer is "cigar", of course, but here is where the prankster needs to take things off script. Shaking his/her head to each of the patrons that chuckle at the droll possibility of a cigar, a confused look needs to pass over the prankster's face as he/she delivers in the most dead pan of fashion "A brick. I don't understand it myself, but this dog had a brick in its mouth..."

and simply wait for cognizance to spread across the crowd like melting warm butter.
Here we have an advocate for Islamic arranged marriages demonstrating that children can consent to sex.
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