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Post your best anti-jokes here.

Reeseroni
Posts: 46
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5/29/2015 12:21:12 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
Q: Did you hear about the guy who got the whole left side of his body cut off in a car accident?

A: Yeah, the gasoline from his car poured all over him, and he died from 3rd degree burns after it caught on fire!
I like it when you call me Big Poppa
Vox_Veritas
Posts: 7,072
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6/2/2015 4:55:46 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
Did you hear about the guy who smoked a pack of cigarettes a day? He got lung cancer and died.
Call me Vox, the Resident Contrarian of debate.org.

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#drinkthecoffeenotthekoolaid
Lee001
Posts: 3,168
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6/2/2015 4:56:58 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 6/2/2015 4:55:46 PM, Vox_Veritas wrote:
Did you hear about the guy who smoked a pack of cigarettes a day? He got lung cancer and died.

Dayyyuuummmm. That was a good one.
"Condoms are societal constructs created by the government to restrain 'Murican freedom!"-SolonKR

"But I jest and digress (sick rhymes, yo); every boob is equal in the eyes of the Lord."- SolonKR

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AngelofDeath
Posts: 2,953
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6/6/2015 4:03:38 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
A dyslexic guy walks into a bra. Apparently their dryer stopped working so his girlfriend's laundry is hanging around the house
I may or may not be a cat
PetersSmith
Posts: 5,839
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6/6/2015 4:12:10 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust.
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YamaVonKarma
Posts: 7,570
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6/6/2015 4:22:00 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
What does God order to drink? Nothing because it isn't real.
People who I've called as mafia DP1:
TUF, and YYW
Saint_of_Me
Posts: 2,402
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6/17/2015 6:51:15 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
I am sitting in a room with my friend and ll of a sudden something large and dark and furry flies across the room and lands on his neck and bites and kills him.

But...I can only laugh....

Because.............

What is that thing?
Science Flies Us to the Moon. Religion Flies us Into Skyscrapers.
Saint_of_Me
Posts: 2,402
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6/17/2015 6:52:07 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
I went to the store yesterday and bought some powdered instant water.

But when I got it home I didn't know what to add to it.
Science Flies Us to the Moon. Religion Flies us Into Skyscrapers.
graceleethistle
Posts: 5
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7/3/2015 3:58:18 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 6/2/2015 4:30:41 PM, Surrealism wrote:
Knock knock.

Who's there?

Landlord. Rent is due.

Good one haha!

I have this:

Why did the chicken cross the road?
Because it needs to get run over by a car or somethin' and conceive lots of "why did the chicken cross the road" jokes.
PatriotPerson
Posts: 1,062
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7/3/2015 5:50:48 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 6/6/2015 4:12:10 PM, PetersSmith wrote:
What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust.

Omg. My friend asked me that same question once, and I said "The Holocaust", not even knowing this joke was a thing. No joke.
"Victory has a thousand fathers, but defeat is an orphan" -JFK
"You all stink like poo poo" - Rich Davis
"That idea may just be crazy enough... TO GET US ALL KILLED!" -Squidward Tentacles
"My heart is always breaking for the ghosts that haunt this room." -Nate Ruess
FaustianJustice
Posts: 6,208
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7/8/2015 1:24:50 AM
Posted: 1 year ago
I grew up in a town so small, the town prostitute wore a helmet.
Here we have an advocate for Islamic arranged marriages demonstrating that children can consent to sex.
http://www.debate.org...
aamir_niaz
Posts: 5
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7/8/2015 9:00:47 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
Another one was: Doc, I can't stop singing the 'Green Green Grass of Home'. He said: 'That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome'. 'Is it common?'I asked. 'It's not unusual' he replied.
Rubikx
Posts: 226
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7/10/2015 8:54:46 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
A guy likes a girl and so asks her out.
She says yes and they go to a restaurant.
They wait in line for forever but finally get a table.
Later they go to a movie and they wait in line for forever but finally get tickets.
Eventually they go to prom together.
When they get there she asks him to get her some punch.
and there is no punch line.
roun12
Posts: 177
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4/1/2016 10:14:39 PM
Posted: 8 months ago
A man in a movie theater sees what looks like a pig.

M: "Are you a pig?"

P: "Yes."

M: "What are you doing at this movie theater?"

P: "Well, I liked the book."
"No, I disagree. 'R' is among the most menacing of sounds. That's why they call it MURDER, not Muckduck." - Dwight

"Tell people there's an invisible man in the sky who created the universe, and the vast majority will believe you. Tell them the paint is wet, and they have to touch it to be sure." - George Carlin