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Best Jokes

Sooner
Posts: 1,012
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9/3/2015 1:51:44 AM
Posted: 1 year ago
a skeleton walks into a bar and says,"Give me a bucket of beer...and a mop."
Ignoring problems doesn't make them go away.
Rami
Posts: 431
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9/4/2015 6:06:38 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
A sinner and a saint are on a boat. Suddenly, a storm threatens to destroy the boat.
"Save us, Lord!" the sinner cries out.
"Shhhhhh! Don't let Him know you're here!" the saint whispers to the sinner.
RedWhiteBlueBlooded
Posts: 5
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10/5/2015 2:33:05 PM
Posted: 1 year ago
So 3 vampires walk in to a bar and sit down, bartender walks up and ask the first vampire "what'll ya have?" "I'll have a frothy mug of blood please" so bartender pours him a mug of blood, bartender then asked the second vampire "what'll ya have?" "I'll have a tall glass of blood please" so bartender pours him a tall glass of blood, bartender then asked the third vampire "what'll ya have?" "I'll have a cup of hot boiling water please". Bartender stood there for a second and then said "A cup of hot boiling water? Now why would you want to drink that for?" The third vampire reached down in to his pocket and pulled out 2 bloody tampons and said "For my teabags!"
Rami
Posts: 431
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10/7/2015 1:17:34 AM
Posted: 1 year ago
At 10/5/2015 2:33:05 PM, RedWhiteBlueBlooded wrote:
So 3 vampires walk in to a bar and sit down, bartender walks up and ask the first vampire "what'll ya have?" "I'll have a frothy mug of blood please" so bartender pours him a mug of blood, bartender then asked the second vampire "what'll ya have?" "I'll have a tall glass of blood please" so bartender pours him a tall glass of blood, bartender then asked the third vampire "what'll ya have?" "I'll have a cup of hot boiling water please". Bartender stood there for a second and then said "A cup of hot boiling water? Now why would you want to drink that for?" The third vampire reached down in to his pocket and pulled out 2 bloody tampons and said "For my teabags!"

Those vampires then did a cheers, saying, 'Here's to 6! Here's to 6!" They kept on ordering round after round, cheering to the same thing, until the bartender came back and asked them, 'What's the special occasion?' They replied, 'We finished a jigsaw puzzle in just 6 months!' 'Six months! Puzzles shouldn't take that long!' 'But this one said 2-4 years!'